my unsupportive family :(

laurensohn22
laurensohn22 Posts: 163 Member
edited November 10 in Health and Weight Loss
So .. Yesterday I tried talking to my family about cooking healthier and I got yelled at. Today I try again and my mom says "you are obsessed with food" I told her no I'm trying to become more healthy ! So I've never cooked before and don't even know the basics of anything (yeah I know thats just sad) no one in my family is willing to teach me either. Sad thing is at the beginning of the year my mom was telling me how we're going to change what we eat and that was great I was really excited . Now if I even mention anything healthy I get yelled at and lectured about how my mom works all day and that I understand, except I work more than her I even have two jobs . Looks like I'm on my own on this journey :/
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Replies

  • violette50
    violette50 Posts: 5 Member
    Change is difficult with eating. It sounds like your family isn't as committed as you are to a new eating plan. Try to buy some fruits /veggies and do what you can to learn to cook and add healthier foods to the things your family cooks. If they are serving something fattening, replace with some veggies, or a salad and a protein. Good luck!
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    Two suggestions that might work:
    1. Buy a healthy cook book and give it as a gift to your family. they might actually enjoy some healthy food
    2. Ask your family to teach you how to cook, or read about it.

    Even if you have to journey alone, dont get discouraged, you are on the right track!

    good luck
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    I taught myself how to cook it's not too difficult. Just tell mom you'll take care of feeding yourself from now on
  • Maria052007
    Maria052007 Posts: 41 Member
    Unfortunately, you pointing our her insecurities by trying to be better and making her face her own pitfalls. I know going alone can make this harder.

    But... You can learn to cook!!! Try getting some cookbooks like from weight watchers or biggest loser. The walk you through basics and teaches you how to swap stuff out!

    Also, one day you can consider it a gift to have not learned to cook unhealthy foor in the first place! :)

    Add me!! I lose to cook, so if you want any tips maybe I can help!
  • Kandygirl
    Kandygirl Posts: 249 Member
    you are never alone. you have a whole supportive family here on MFP
  • jcriscuolo
    jcriscuolo Posts: 319 Member
    Stick with this site and you will have all the support you need. It's tough when everyone around you is eating poorly. The key to eating well is planning and preparation. Fruits and vegetables are easy to prepare. Start learning to cook the easy stuff like grilled chicken. Try to use the MFP food diary to monitor calorie intake. Cooking isn't too hard. My wife started working a few years ago and I am doing the cooking for the family now. You can learn. It's not hard. And you mom will appreciate it even if you serve healthy foods. Keep checking in here for support. You can achieve your goals. Stay strong!
  • LaLee614
    LaLee614 Posts: 5
    You are doing so well. Sometime people don't want to change so even though you are ready they are not. You have done a great job in letting them know you want to be healthy so the door is open. If they want to change they will and you just be an example not in words but in action. maybe after seeing the change in you they might want to and they might not. You have support, your inner strength and people that are here are awesome. KEEP up the good work. Oh and anything you don't know youtube can teach you lol it is so true
  • jrusso28
    jrusso28 Posts: 249 Member
    Growing up sucks !

    Its time to stand on your own two legs and do it on your own.
    You can do it and your friends on MFP will support you on the journey.
    You cant rely on others to cook you healthy meals, or make you exercise.

    Your mom has done the best she can, and chances are that she's just not ready to make a change.
    You cant force her, just as she cant force you.

    Start cooking your own meals, it not that hard, actually you might enjoy it.
    I tend to cook on weekends and stock up for the week. Things like soups or meats and veggies for stir fry.
    Easy to make (lots of recipes on here at MFP, and on the net) and calories and nutritional info easy to calculate using MFP.
    Nothing is healthier than knowing what your putting into your own food.

    Make an exercise schedule that you can realistically stick to (juggling your school and work etc...) then hold yourself accountable and stick to the schedule.

    As the weeks and months go by, you will learn self discipline, you will learn some new recipes, cooking secrets that work for you, your body will start changing for the better, your health will improve, and your self esteem will blossom. Your a powder keg of possibilities, NEVER limit yourself to what others will do with or for you.

    You want this, GO FOR IT!

    We will all support your efforts, and watch in awe from the sidelines when you post your amazing progress pics ! :drinker:
  • lmalaschak
    lmalaschak Posts: 346 Member
    Ack. One thing you can do on the positive side is every time someone cooks something that IS healthy, give lots of compliments. There are probably quite a few websites on healthy cooking for beginners. Maybe you can read up a little bit, and then some evening offer to cook for the family. Maybe your mom would appreciate the help so much she'll forget to be annoyed.
  • GeneaCindy
    GeneaCindy Posts: 148 Member
    We are here for you! I am a terrible cook, but I'm learning. Crock pot cooking is super easy and relatively inexpensive. Check out Skinny Ms Slow Cooker (they are on FB). Also, a shout out for the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook - full of stuff for beginning cooks.

    Crock pots are also good for busy people - start it in the morning and it's ready when you get home!

    Good luck on your journey :drinker:

    Add me if you want
  • Bevkus
    Bevkus Posts: 274 Member
    You cant change other people...change yourself...then be an example for other people.

    Lots of learn to cook cook-books out there...buy one...stop preaching!
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
    Google "my plate" and see what a meal should look like. Add that to your knowledge of how your calories and food looks on MFP. And start googling how to cook! You can do it! Your Mom would LOVE a helping hand at meals. Once everyone realizes you are cooking maybe they will see this as you cooking instead of obcessed with food. Then possibly you can even start ordering up a grocery list because they know you will cook!
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    Parents and family often don't react in supportive ways. It's not that they want to sabotague you. Instead of getting on board and cheering you on they feel defensive, like they are doing their best and being criticized for not being a good parent. It sounds like you might be getting that reaction. Also when one family member starts changing and doing better it can often make the others feel worse because they feel anxiety about not doing well themselves. That makes them seem angry, but it's more complex than that. There are a million healthy recipies for you to explore on the internet, in cooking magazines like Cooking Light. No one has to teach you, just follow the directions and you will be an accomplished healthy cook in no time. If your Mom works you could take over some evening meals and make some low fat switches she doesn't even have to know about. Good luck with your journey. You are off to a great start and it's OK to be the role model for your family with or without their support :)
  • nikkilou1978
    nikkilou1978 Posts: 146 Member
    Look up recipies online or buy you a healthy cook book. Follow the instructions, it really is that simple. Don't try to make it more difficult than it really is. Most things are no harder to make than mac-n-cheese in a box. Most of my meals consist of things I can wrap in foil and throw in the oven.

    Here's an easy healthy side dish (I usually pair it with baked chicken)

    1 sweet potato
    I can't believe it's not butter spray
    2 tbs splenda
    Pumpkin pie spice

    Peel and cube sweet potatoes. In a bowl, spray sweet potato with ICBINB spray, mix to coat. Sprinkle with splenda and stir. Sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice, more or less depending on your taste. Stir to coat. Wrap in foil, add a little water to the bottom to prevent burning. Put in a pan and bake @ 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

    For a medium sweet potato it's only about 100 calories, and it tastes yummy!
  • jmv42
    jmv42 Posts: 19 Member
    I understand, I know my family has had a hard time with changing eating and cooking habits.

    Try volunteering to cook for everyone, start with something simple (chef salad, a healthy pasta dish). This way, you are preparing food for them, not making them feel like they are being pressured into change. You are more like gifting them with a change.

    Also, don't expect everyone to be able to jump into the change as wholeheartedly as you are. Try working on changing your lifestyle slowly, like one meal at a time (a healthy lunch each day) or changing one day a week (health Tuesdays). Little steps will make everything easier on everyone!

    Keep up the effort! They will appreciate your ideas soon enough!
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
    http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/04/healthy-baked-chicken-nuggets.html
    http://allrecipes.com/recipes/main.aspx?prop24=PN_2.0.0_TN.Recipes

    Here's a couple places to start!
  • alegrria72
    alegrria72 Posts: 34
    I taught myself to cook a long time ago. My mom mostly made pre-packaged meals and by the time we were in High School I pretty much cooked for myself. Now I'm adjusting how I cook to keep the calories down and am learning how to prepare veggies I've never worked with. Recipe sites and cook books are good places to start. The one piece of advice I always give people is that you can't be afraid of making mistakes. Not everything you make will be fabulous but you'll never know until you try.
  • mem1086
    mem1086 Posts: 136 Member
    you are never alone. you have a whole supportive family here on MFP

    Bump!
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
    Check out the Hungry Girl cookbooks. Her recipes are really easy and tasty.

    As for learninghow to cook, just follow the recipes step by step and you will do fine. I never cooked up until a couple of years ago and now I create my own dishes!

    Take care of yourself , worry about others later.
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 650 Member
    You can do this......use the negativity as motivation. Theres tons of recipes on here and you can do it if you really want.
  • margebouvier
    margebouvier Posts: 12 Member
    If you're still living at home, you might ask if you can have some "reserved" space in the fridge and/or cupboards that is yours alone. As for cooking, I didn't know how to do much of any cooking until my early 20's when I was on my own. If you need to learn how to cook by yourself, I suggest YouTube! You can find just about any task you want to learn on there and it will give you someone to watch during every step so that you feel confident. I'd also bet that once you start moving around in the kitchen, someone will be more than happy to tell you how to do different things. Maybe then you could rub off on THEM! Good luck!
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
    I can't help with the unsupportive family part but I would highly suggest getting a couple of healthy college type cookbooks. The recipes are reasonably healthy and reasonably simple and they usually do a good job explaining specific cooking techniques for the different recipes.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    When I decided I wanted to change my eating and other habits, I talked to my mom and we came to a compromise. I took over the grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking. This allows me freedom to eat what I need to eat the majority of the time. However, I also have learned how to make some staple meals healthier and how to balance a heavier meal so that I won't mess my whole day up. This way, neither of us has to be deprived of any of our old favorites.

    Also, if my mom wants me to buy something that is not on my plan for her, then I do it. It is her money and her home. I am very, VERY lucky that she allows me to live here after I left my job and went to grad school (and then couldn't find a part time job that would work with my schooling). When you are living in another person's home, then you have to work with them and deal with them.
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
    I suggest looking at whfoods.com, and maybe purchase the book if you can. It teaches you how to easily cook food the healthiest way possible. I've always been able to cook but this taught me how to cook way healthier meals! I think obsessed is a harsh word, but I was obsessed with learning about food and what foods had in them chemically, and this book is awesome for that! So, if you are "obsessed" with food, you may really enjoy this book too. Good Luck!! And don't let your family discourage you. Start with small steps, instead of mashed potatoes steam some veggies, and when you start looking and feeling better and losing weight maybe your family will catch on. Some have to be taught by example.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    you are never alone. you have a whole supportive family here on MFP

    *Studio audience 'awwwww'**

    Seriously though, I agree with her.
  • craziedazie
    craziedazie Posts: 185 Member
    I didn't read all the posts, but I just wanted to say that I am an awful cook and I have found that if you just cut up a bunch of different vegetables and saute them with some kind of seasonings or salsa or something liquid as a base, you just cannot go wrong. add chicken or fish and you have a meal.

    Today I used tomatoes, squash, bell pepper, onions, salsa, and guacamole.

    Good luck. Sorry about the fam. =(
  • Lyndi4
    Lyndi4 Posts: 442 Member
    I taught myself how to cook it's not too difficult. Just tell mom you'll take care of feeding yourself from now on

    I agree. When I got married I only knew how to make a few simple meals. If you really feel that you need help learning to cook then maybe ask a friend or sign up for cooking classes, watching the Food Network can be helpful (just make sure you are using a healthy recipe), and there are even videos on Youtube, etc. You can do it, just give it a try. What's the worst thing that could happen? You have to throw the food out b/c you burn something. Keep a fire extinguisher nearby just in case. LOL. :tongue: and give it a try.

    Good luck! Maybe if YOU make some healthy meals for your family they will learn that they like healthy food and start making healthier things too. Maybe you could get to the point that you take turns cooking on different nights. We let my sister live with us rent-free for a while, and we all agreed that she could contribute to the household some by cooking once a week.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    JoAnna Lund wrote a series of cookbooks called Healthy Exchanges. She used processed food in her recipes and the steps were very simple. I suggest you buy the book, pick out two recipes that seem easy enough for you to follow, and volunteer to cook two meals a week for your family. Her recipes have a code at the side to let you know if they can be frozen. (Snowflake icon), so you could cook it and freeze it ahead of time. If your family doesn't like that option, you could freeze the food in smaller portions for you to hear up for yourself.
  • skarr28
    skarr28 Posts: 98
    It's not easy being the only one on board for the sake of a healthier lifestyle. Unfortunately, when one person changes, it causes the surrounding people to look at the things they don't really like about themselves and don't know how (or really want) to change.

    Cooking is actually pretty simple. It doesn't have to take long. Find what spices & herbs you like and use those while you learn new recipes & cooking techniques. My favourite things to add are cayenne (adds a spicey 'heat' to food versus a spicey 'flavour') on my shrimp& spinach, sugar-free salsa on my eggs and in wraps, and I usually saute everything I eat. Adding fruit to your salads, fruit and cinnamon to your oatmeal, etc

    Find some simple recipes online here (just ask) or fitness magazine websites.

    And, remember, you're not alone here. Here are people who will encourage you & root for every little success you share! Good luck! And keep your head up!

    :flowerforyou:
  • blueham5
    blueham5 Posts: 67 Member
    Me too. I have to eat what my mum puts up for dinner everyday and I can't leave the table til I clear the plate(s). It might be really heavy and unhealthy one day like a 500g steak with a lot of fried egg noodles and then it could be light and healthy like steamed fish and vege the next day. So what I do is eat a light breakfast and then save 1000 calories for dinner. And then if the dinner is light, I'll also have a snack to make up for it.
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