Feeling like a horrible person.

I guess there's only so much you can do... there are always going to be people who are jealous and troubled by others' success.

As a co-worker, is it that important to make her like you again? For me it would be different if it were a closer friend/family member but it;s your call how much of an effort you want to make.

You should't have to apologise for your success, the situation may - or may not - improve if you back off a little, talk about it less, focused on other things at work.
Have you thought about what you're gonna do when you reach your goal? DO you have a plan to have your "weightloss" identity become something else like a "healthy lifestyle/fitness" identity?

Although not related to being on a weight loss journey, I've certainly been in situations where I had no idea what kind of impact I was having on another person. You may or may not be able to repair the relationship, and I agree with the above that you don't need to apologise for your success. However, if you feel this horrible, perhaps you should just acknowledge that you are sorry if thing that you have said have hurt this other person, and that you are sorry for that hurt even if it was unintentional. This is about your relationship, not about your weight loss.

Oh, and amazing job on your weight loss btw!!

I don't feel that you have anything to apologise for, it is obviously her issue and she will find a way to deal with it if she want's to.

In the meantime when in her company just ask her about herself and try to discuss issues that aren't weight related once you have your relationship on track you will be able to discuss the differences between you.

I agree with Hippychick. Your integrity is calling you to make right an unintentional offense. Calmly consider the appropriate way to approach your coworker that will be well-received and apologize for being insensitive to her reaction to your success. Explain that in the joy of your accomplishment sometimes it is easy to lose sight of other things like encouraging others in their own goals.
I totally "get it." I had a former doctor of mine not recognize me yesterday when I ran into him. When he asked me how I lost the 60 lbs I simply said, "Lots of hard work." I reserve details now for those that are truly interested, though I admit on my part I used to promote the "how" at every opportunity. It is a testimony worth sharing, I think, and so excitement drives us to want others to have our joy. But for those that don't understand its implications it seems like an obsession.
I have a coworker that had surgical intervention and lost a great deal of weight, but has not had the level of success that different food choices would give her. If she fueled her body from a different source than readily accessible fast food chains she would see more benefit than she has. Still, all I can do is rejoice with her for the progress she has made and try to keep my own choices as under-spoken as I can.
For you, follow your heart, but as others have tried to say, you are not responsible for her response, only your own attempt to make right whatever offense may be on your side of the table.
(peace.)

so....

1. Your obsessing about losing weight could also be called "being focused" although always talking about it is probably not so great for you!
2. You are not responsible for her self esteem
3. Instead of resenting you, and blaming you, she could have (should have) used your experiences and actions as her impetus and guide to her own healty weight loss.

You are not a horrible person for taking the action you've taken to get healthy and losing weight. What she is doing is a passive aggressive way to try to make you fail, rather than encourage you and maybe even join you. And apparently it's beginning to work.

So how about if you go to here (did you do this already?) and say something like "I realize that I have been very focused on my weight loss and have only been talking about what I'm doing to get healthy. It might seem obsessive to you and I'm sorry you feel that way. Want to join me? We can be obsessed together!"

Look in the mirror and remind yourself you are not making her think or feel anything. She is... You are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions. She is responsible for herself.

123 pounds lost? Thats inspirational and a lifechanging event.

I have only lost a few pounds and I am totally obsessed. I am excited about the changes to my energy how good I feel and all my future plans. Luckily I made a friend on MFP and we probably send each other 5 or so emails a day and obsess together. So that gives me a great outlet.

I apologised for being so boring and single minded to my mum this morning because yet again I was talking about calories. She just laughed and said thats natural at this stage.

Its our enthuisiasm that drives us forward to be successful and that need to be expressed. I am trying to be conscious that not every person in the universe is going to be enthralled by my blow by blow account of what my macros were today and if I made my alotted calories.

You work collague is unprofessional. She can't confront you on her problem but has no issues with telling everyone else? Passive aggressive much?
There is a possibility that no matter what you do to try and rectify this she will resent your success.The fact that it has got to this stage and this woman has not been grown up anough to simple say "look please dont talk to me about your fitness/weight loss unless I ask", gives me the impression that the drama will continue.

Maybe apologise for boring her and request politely that if she has further issues with you for the sake of a healthy productive work enviroment she addresses you on the issue concerned.

If you want to be a b*tch you could always buy her a humungous box of chocolates as an apology.

Do you have to sit next to her? Are you ready to except that simply your successful weight loss may be enough for her to never want to be friendly with you?

She sounds like a petty cow with a victim mentality and passive aggressive streak a mile wide. :devil: (Go on give her chocolates)

I think half of MFP's use is to stop us all boring other folk with our fitness talk.

I agree with Hippychick. Your integrity is calling you to make right an unintentional offense. Calmly consider the appropriate way to approach your coworker that will be well-received and apologize for being insensitive to her reaction to your success. Explain that in the joy of your accomplishment sometimes it is easy to lose sight of other things like encouraging others in their own goals. I totally "get it." I had a former doctor of mine not recognize me yesterday when I ran into him. When he asked me how I lost the 60 lbs I simply said, "Lots of hard work." I reserve details now for those that are truly interested, though I admit on my part I used to promote the "how" at every opportunity. It is a testimony worth sharing, I think, and so excitement drives us to want others to have our joy. But for those that don't understand its implications it seems like an obsession. I have a coworker that had surgical intervention and lost a great deal of weight, but has not had the level of success that different food choices would give her. If she fueled her body from a different source than readily accessible fast food chains she would see more benefit than she has. Still, all I can do is rejoice with her for the progress she has made and try to keep my own choices as under-spoken as I can. For you, follow your heart, but as others have tried to say, you are not responsible for her response, only your own attempt to make right whatever offense may be on your side of the table. (peace.)

You have an excellent way with words. Am new to this site so just trawling through a few messages, trying to familiarise myself with the website, but was impressed with your style of writing.

I do have a plan - I want to start doing triathalons, 5K's (possibly a half marathon?), and hike Mt Kilimanjaro the year I turn 30.

The problem is that's going to alienate her further.

Your personal goals and dreams are really none of her business and you shouldn't give up on them only because she cant bring up the strength to manage her own life...

Losing weight has become my identity, and when I think about it, I don't talk about much else. I didn't realize how much it hurt her, and how much comments from other coworkers made to her about me hurt her.

Look on the other end of the spectrum here is what you could consider:
- She seems unhappy with her weight, and seems to not do much to change this,
- You can't please everyone.

So, although I would advise having other topics to discuss about with people than food/weight loss, sometimes you just don't get along with some people.

1. I understand her feelings, and they are completely valid.

2. Is there a way for me to mend hurt feelings in this instance, or should I simply step back and give her space and hope that we can be friends in the future? I'm lost.

1. No they are not valid! She is angry with you because others are also mentioning your weight loss? What are you going to do tell people not to mention it near her? Most of this is her issues.

2. Your obviously a sweet human being but I suspect the only thing that will make her feel better is if you go into a eating frenzy and gain even more weight.

Dont let others suck the joy from you. Your amazing.

i did run into this and i can entirly relate to what your going through. it became my identity as well and friends/coworkers started to get upset and distance theirselves from me and i just couldnt understand why. sometimes a situation like this needs a bigger person. if you really care about being her friend then you should talk to her or send her an email. tell her exactly what you said, about it becoming your identity and you didnt know that it was affecting others. if she feels down about it and has acted the way she has im sure theres jealousy involved. maybe you can try involving her like having her make a MFP or workout with her... i think thats the best thing you can do for now.

dont worry about it too much i know it can get you down but you should have friends that support you not friends that get that way when you are only trying to improve yourself

I agree with Hippychick. Your integrity is calling you to make right an unintentional offense. Calmly consider the appropriate way to approach your coworker that will be well-received and apologize for being insensitive to her reaction to your success. Explain that in the joy of your accomplishment sometimes it is easy to lose sight of other things like encouraging others in their own goals.
I totally "get it." I had a former doctor of mine not recognize me yesterday when I ran into him. When he asked me how I lost the 60 lbs I simply said, "Lots of hard work." I reserve details now for those that are truly interested, though I admit on my part I used to promote the "how" at every opportunity. It is a testimony worth sharing, I think, and so excitement drives us to want others to have our joy. But for those that don't understand its implications it seems like an obsession.
I have a coworker that had surgical intervention and lost a great deal of weight, but has not had the level of success that different food choices would give her. If she fueled her body from a different source than readily accessible fast food chains she would see more benefit than she has. Still, all I can do is rejoice with her for the progress she has made and try to keep my own choices as under-spoken as I can.
For you, follow your heart, but as others have tried to say, you are not responsible for her response, only your own attempt to make right whatever offense may be on your side of the table.
(peace.)

^^this^^ I couldn't have said it any where near as good as this. Very wise words and very humble too.

Don't take it personally. I'm guessing if someone else around her had done the same thing, she would feel the same way about them. By seeing you regularly, her most cherished excuse- 'it cannot be done" - is being dismantled.
It's the daily confrontation of what she does not/ cannot face about her own convictions that's eliciting her anger and other negative feelings. Although you would probably like to help her (part of the evangelical aspect of your journey) you cannot until she is ready - you know that from your own experience. But be warned, people in her position typically have a shot at bringing you down, undoing your progress, usually by making you feel guilty for their condition. All you can really do is... move on. Keep on moving on, and look after yourself.
"Whatever you are - be a good one" - Abraham Lincoln.

I think most people, I know I did go through an obsessive phase. I think its almost needed thats how we brake the bad habits keeping our goals the new lifestyle in the forefront of our minds,other wise it would simply be to easy to fall back. This obsession can be hard on people around us, especially those who do not have an invested interest in us like co-workers. The only thing you can do is apologize and try not to talk so much about it at work. You cant change the past only adjustments for the future.