I'd really appreciate some straight-talking advice on cals i

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Replies

  • Kksd605
    Kksd605 Posts: 74 Member
    Have you considered doing metabolic testing? I haven't done it yet, but I've found a place that does resting and exercise metabolic testing. They can tell you what your true BMR is versus the calculated one on various sites. That could help you understand more accurately how much you can eat and exercise/eat.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    Here is some straight talk for you. You need to see a nutritionist and possibly work with a trainer. We can all give you our opinions based on what has worked for US, but everyone is different. You can't believe everything you read in these forums and take it as gospel. Weight loss may be "simple" math, but again everyone's body is different. Some are going to have to put in more effort than others, etc.

    I will tell you what worked for ME. You can make of it what you will. I I lost 45 lbs in 3 months here. I would burn 700-1000 cals a day and regularly net 400-600 cals by bed time. I did not eat my exercise calories back. All the sudden I hit a 2 week plateau. I had changed nothing, yet the scale would not move. I did some research and decided to eat more. It gave me more energy for better workouts, less headaches... It was better all around. Once I began netting more calories per day after my workout, usually around 1k, the weight started coming off again. I have lost 52 lbs in 4 months.

    There is no magic to this. You have to eat reasonably and get movement in. A nutritionist and trainer can help. To say starvation mode does not exist is irresponsible. It is flat out dangerous to workout while taking in so little.

    I would not nix cardio, btw. Strength training is essential for long term health but cardio is also necessary. As someone mentioned, skinny flab is not attractive. Toning while doing cardio is killing 2 birds with one stone.
  • guinessngolf
    guinessngolf Posts: 11
    bump!
  • Embell0830
    Embell0830 Posts: 105
    Please go to the doctor and get medical advice - they are going to give it to you straight so that you can be healthy.

    ^^^This please. You can do tons of research on here and just about anywhere, but you can always find a a lot of information to justify it all whether it's good or bad info. I can tell you everything that has and hasn't worked for me, but that's me, my body, my brain, my genetic make-up.

    Most people on here (not all) are self proclaimed experts, not certified experts. Please see someone who is properly trained and certified, who can properly evaluate you physically and maybe even emotionally (this is based on how many times you keeps saying your scared)
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 961 Member
    Here are my thoughts, for whatever you think they're worth. :smile: But I agree with others, it sounds like you should have a session or two with a professional dietitian, and maybe a counselor who works with eating disorders and the like. They might have some tips to get you over this hump and squarely into the healthy path.

    1) I don't eat enough calories. I'm scared to increase my calories. Are you SURE that if I increase to the recommended 1200 cals a day I'll eventually lose?

    Sure that you'll eventually lose? Absolutely. But it might take you a while to see things turn around. It will take a little bit for your body to get out of "freak-out" mode and into a happy place where your metabolism starts burning hot again.
    2) My metabolism is shot to hell. I did stupid things to lose 100lbs very quickly. It was wrong, I had issues, I recognise that and I'm working on it (and doing well, I reckon). I'm used to 500 or less calories and that lost me the weight (and by weight, I mean the scales went down. I thought that was a victory and never thought about how I was losing water and ruining my muscles as well as whatever fat I burned off).

    You CAN undo this. :flowerforyou:
    1) Starting strength training to get my muscles in order. Nothing fancy, I got some exercises from a weight training website I think I can do (I just found them last night, and I'm waiting on a pulled muscle to heal itself). I gather that will boost my metabolism, and more importantly get my muscles a bit healthier.

    Good move. :smile: Don't just go crazy doing fifty reps with a 3-lb weight, though. If you don't have a gym, you can see good results even just by doing lots of body-weight exercises and modifying the gym exercises to do at home with dumbbells or homemade weights.
    2) I'm eating my big meal earlier in the day. Problem is, I'm not used to eating more than one meal unless I'm binging. I've done really well not binging, and I'm scared that if I increase my cals I'll encourage it again.

    I don't think time of day matters for weight loss, but it does help with your sleep patterns if you don't eat a heavy meal at night. If you are really unhappy eating a big meal, maybe you could try planning out your day ahead of time and splitting it up into 6 or 8 snacks spread through the day. My mom used to do that with her day's food - she'd prep it all and put it in containers, and just work her way through everything as the day/evening progressed.
    And it's not only a case of not being used to one meal a day, it's a case of not being hungry, Because I am not hungry. At all. I don't understand the logic of eating when you're not hungry (and I AM trying to understand, I am looking up stuff to educate myself).

    What you need to recognize there is just that your hunger mechanism is shot. It will come back, but in the meantime you need to just make a plan and follow it, and re-learn your body's signals and how to trust them.
    3) Aside from this week (pulled muscle), I'm taking my cardio seriously. I don't (now) log "cleaning", "writing", or "cooking" as exercise. I log going on my cross trainer or stepper. If I went for a walk to exercise, I'd log that, but I wouldn't log wandering around the shops in town as exercise.

    Good steps. :smile: I cut down on cardio a bit when I started doing strength training, because I've got limited gym time. But they're both good for you, just in different ways. My tip here is, just find something you enjoy! For me right now it's skating and hiking. My neighbor is all about lane swimming.
    4) A lot of people on here encourage "cheat meals". I did that on Valentine's Day, and it's done me no harm so I'm not scared of cheat meals any more so long as they're not more than once a week. Do people generally agree this is a good thing? They seem to.

    I don't do it intentionally as part of a plan, but if I do have a day where I'm over, or get a last-minute invite to a party, I don't worry about it. There's no harm as long as you don't throw yourself completely off the wagon in the process.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,422 MFP Moderator
    For all those that say see a doctor here is what i will say... most doctors have very little experience with nutrition and in fact are only are required to take one or two classes. My friends are doctors and know less than me. Now if you said dietician or certified nutritionist then you have a better chance of getting good advice.
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
    When I was younger, for my first few years of college, I struggled with an eating disorder. I applaud you for your honesty and for your reaching out. That's a big thing! And congrats on the weight loss! But it sounds like to me that you have developed an ED mentality, because of your fear of eating. I would agree and say that you are correct in saying that your metabolism has been negatively effected. After my ED, it took several YEARS for my metabolism to even out. This is what I recommend: You do need to increase your intake, or you will only further mess your metabolism up, and trust me, it takes years to repair! You can't lose weight at that low of an intake. But, don't do it suddenly. Start with 100 more cals a day for a week, and just slowly increase it gradually until you are eating AT LEAST your TDEE. And make your cals count, focusing on protein and good fats (omega-3s), lots veg, and complex low glycemic sources of carbohydrates. With your metabolism being in the state that its in, you can't just suddenly start eating 1400 cals a day with half of that coming from carbs, your body will hold on to it and want to store it. Increase things SLOWLY, but still INCREASE!! Your body will adjust and start functioning the way it should if you give it the transitional time that it needs to adjust and allow your metabolism the time it needs to repair and shift. Don't be scared, though I do understand and know that it is easier said than done. Love your body, you have a beautiful body! Take the time to "nurse" it; take the time you need not only physically but mentally and emotionally to transition to a healthier intake, one that will give you the optimal function that it needs to sustain your weight loss for life. This is all about a lifestyle change that can be sustained for the rest of your life, and if you continue to be in the "place" you're in right now, you're going to severely damage your body and you have a high probability that you will gain all the weight back. I wish you nothing but the best!! Stay strong, and remember, slow and steady :) The weight WILL start to come off again with slowwwly increasing your intake, and I can't emphasize enough.. get enough protein, and make the carbs you do consume count. When a metabolism is in need of repair, sugars should be kept at a minimum. Good luck!
  • nixirain
    nixirain Posts: 448 Member
    For all those that say see a doctor here is what i will say... most doctors have very little experience with nutrition and in fact are only are required to take one or two classes. My friends are doctors and know less than me. Now if you said dietician or certified nutritionist then you have a better chance of getting good advice.

    I said see a doctor because in most cases they will send you to a dietician. Cheaper that way because if you have insurance thats the only way they will pay for it. I agree, most doctors dont know anything about nutrition. My BF parents, his sister and best friend ar all doctors NEVER have any answers about nutrition. They tell me to to go to my doctor and they will refer me and my insurance will pay for it :-)
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    I can only tell you what has worked for me - I am no expert and would never pretend to be - though I do have a dream of becoming a personal fitness trainer and nutritionist some day...

    I eat anywhere from 4-6 meals a day... includes 3 meals and 2-3 snacks. A lot of people will say that as long as you eat your calories it doesn't matter whether you eat them in small meal increments or all at once. I believe in keeping my body fueled on a constant. This gives me more energy, keeps me alert, and I don't binge ever - the days I have high caloric intake are by choice not because I have binged... my diary is viewable and sometimes I joke saying I eat like a MAN really. I do my best to keep my sodium intake within its limits and a good balance between my carbs and protein - I love seeing my protein intake thru the day to hit 100g

    I work out 6 days a week... a very nice combination of cardio and weight training - found a nice workout plan "fat loss" @ bodybuilding.com and made a hybrid to increase a bit the cardio - though I keep my cardio at 30 mins and only 20 on the days I weight train...

    When I joined MFP and entered my goals, I was given a caloric intake recommendation of 1200 - I didn't think it to be enough because of the way I eat so I increased it to 1500, I was still loosing weight and feeling healthy and good with my energy levels... Last week I made a decision to decrease to the recommended 1200 and log all the exercise I do (not cleaning or things like that) the change has proven to be a good one - I eat most of my calories burn back - so essentially I am eating about 1500 calories a day still... and still seeing results

    You have to experiment and find out what works for you... we are all different. Your body needs fuel for it to perform adequately and of course it needs exercise so it can function to its capabilities... but it is imperative for there to be a healthy balance within the two.
  • ccfessler
    ccfessler Posts: 28 Member
    lisaduke45 - I've read a lot about starvation mode being a myth, and I think that if it was true, no one would ever go underweight. I'm not disagreeing with you, please don't get me wrong. I just don't understand it but I really am trying to understand it. I sometimes think that maybe my BMR and stuff is worked out wrong, and maybe for some reason my BMR is a lot lower than most people's. Reckon that's crap? Tell me if you do.


    Starvation mode is not a myth. If you intake too few calories your body will start breaking down your muscle instead of your fat, because your muscle has more "energy". You may lose weight but you your eating at your muscle mass compared to fat, doing damage to your body. Also your metabolism will slow down trying to mantain at the lower calorie intake that you are subjecting yourself too. I am a recovered anorexic. I struggle with weight also and maintaining a healthy weight and healthy body image. I am also terrified to eat up on my calories. I try to ignore the calories and eat healthy foods.
  • vabrewer33
    vabrewer33 Posts: 185

    I agree with everything he has to say!! If I were you, I'd raise your calories and do strength training and just nix the cardio. You don't want to be a flabby underweight person, believe me it is not attractive.

    AHHHH why would you say to eliminate cardio!!! i understand the importance of strength training but come on... long term health people!
    Health benefits? Is this real life?

    99% of people here are doing cardio to lose weight (and failing). I get my cardio benefits from heavy and intense weight lifting and walking.

    Unless you ramp up your heart rate and keep it up for 30 minutes, you are not getting the same cardio benefits from lifting and walking-it just is not possible, sorry!
  • sophjakesmom
    sophjakesmom Posts: 904 Member
    ,
  • MMarvelous
    MMarvelous Posts: 1,067 Member
    I would suggest talking to a profession - doctor, dietitian, etc. Your issue w/ food maybe deeper than you think. If you are not hungry then why eat I agree. However you must refuel your body regularly. Your food diary is not public so we can't tell what you are eating. Make small changes to you meals like have an egg and apple for breakfast. Then lunch chicken and a salad. At dinner maybe a protein bar or smoothie. This type of meal would give you 1200 calories at a minimum if that is really your BMR. Good luck and never be afraid to post on here or let some of the response deter you from your weight lose journey! Add me as a friend if you like.
  • o_delaisse
    o_delaisse Posts: 193 Member
    Thanks everyone, am pretty surprised this thread had a load of comments so suddenly!

    To the people who said I should see a doctor: I have some concerns about going to my doctor, they're not so great with this kind of thing. But I appreciate what you're saying, and I have some ideas on how to help fix things a bit. If my ideas don't work out within a month then I'll go. You see, when I have gone to a doctor, she said I had an eating disorder and I had to see a psychiatrist. Now, personally, I think I got in this state because I'm super impatient, and besides, hand on my heart, I am a happy girl. What I need help with isn't being offered to me. But if I feel this isn't working out, then I'll go and ask for a dietician.

    On the other hand (I'm just reading through all the comments, maybe I should just go. I mean, if it's not helpful then I'll work at it myself, but on the other hand it might be.

    I have to say, I don't think I've done SERIOUS damage to myself, as I said somewhere my BMI was never lower than 17. But, well, I'm not in good shape so should deal with it now. Yes, I'll make a doctor's appointment, but I am preparing myself for a rubbish reception.

    nixirain - Thanks for that link, I've read through it and I'll read it again. It does make sense. And I will consider a doctor.

    As for the low cals - my goal now is to get to 1270, and then I'll see how it goes. I really do know my cal intake is pitiful and I'm not proud of that any more. I posted another thread on tips to get my cals up (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/494211-high-calorie-healthy-snacks), and I got some good suggestions. Already I got my cals up to nearly 1000 today and I'm basically feeling relatively ok about it. I'll work on getting them up more over the next days / weeks. Already I am well out of my comfort zone, so it's going to take time. I have some issues to overcome, but I will get there. A few months ago I was so out of control it was frightening. At least now I'm back in control, and more importantly realising that my "in control" is also unhealthy, and I'm prepared to work on it (well, I AM working on it, but it's only been a day). Increasing calories by the 100 is a comfortable goal, so that's what I'm going to do.

    kdiamond - I am pretty flabby as it is, so flabby underweight is kind of where I was heading :( Lord knows if I'll ever have tight skin, but I gather it's not going to happen. I do like cardio, so I wouldn't stop - I genuinely enjoy it. But you're right, everyone is, about the strength training - I need to take it a lot more seriously. I've printed off some exercises to do (started doing them before but my joints made some AWFUL noises. Someone told me that's ok though and start gently, so going to go back to it in a minute)

    Non-scale progress - Well, I don't have a tape measure, but my clothes are fitting better :)

    Thena81 - I like milk, milk I can do :) Semi-skimmed though, I cannot get my head around the point of skimmed milk :)

    Thanks again everyone for your help :)
  • jenifer7teen
    jenifer7teen Posts: 205 Member

    I agree with everything he has to say!! If I were you, I'd raise your calories and do strength training and just nix the cardio. You don't want to be a flabby underweight person, believe me it is not attractive.

    AHHHH why would you say to eliminate cardio!!! i understand the importance of strength training but come on... long term health people!
    Health benefits? Is this real life?

    99% of people here are doing cardio to lose weight (and failing). I get my cardio benefits from heavy and intense weight lifting and walking.

    99%?!!!!!!!!!!! that's quite a ludicrous and unfounded claim! similar to the idea the people should NIX CARDIO from their health, fitness, and weightloss plans. laughable. or seriously scary narrow-minded and generalized advice based solely on what YOU have chosen to do for yourself...
  • swellen
    swellen Posts: 78 Member
    You see, when I have gone to a doctor, she said I had an eating disorder and I had to see a psychiatrist. Now, personally, I think I got in this state because I'm super impatient, and besides, hand on my heart, I am a happy girl. What I need help with isn't being offered to me. But if I feel this isn't working out, then I'll go and ask for a dietician.
    With your fear of eating, that DOES sound like an eating disorder. That doesn't mean you have anorexia, nor that you are starving yourself (or will in the future), but it sounds like you have some disordered thinking and habits. Doesn't mean you're unhappy necessarily, doesn't mean you've been trying to harm yourself, it just means things have got a little bit out of whack for you. And that's okay, but now is the time to get help, especially with the fear of eating because that's the kind of thing that can escalate before you know it. (I speak from experience here.) The doctor can't MAKE you go to a psychiatrist, so maybe start with a referral to a qualified dietitian and see how you go from there. If nothing else, they will help you to safely increase the amount you're eating. If you've been under-eating it's not a good idea to massively increase it in one go, so a dietitian can help you with a plan to increase slowly, at a pace that feels safe for you without increasing your anxiety around food.
  • ptuttle2
    ptuttle2 Posts: 4 Member
    I haven't been doing this for long but from everything I've read, you're not eating enough. 1200 calories is a min. meaning you need to be eating at least that much everyday. Also, your brain needs 441 calories a day to function. If not, it starts to deteriorate. So if you're only eating 500 calories you're not eating enough for your brain or body to function. You body needs fuel, don't be afraid to fuel your body. Maybe seeing a nutritionist would help. Good luck.

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