Facing Death
oamber0
Posts: 53
I am 5'8'' 280lbs with over 100lbs to lose I am constantly hiding from the stigma of dying from an obesity related disease; all of us with so much to loose are looking death in the face on a daily basis. This realization has been haunting me this past week. As I was getting into bed one night, i reached over to turn a lamp off and I realized how fast and hard my heart was beating, how hard it was to breathe. Suddenly I was aware that my heart beats and keeps me alive, and it beats every day, all day long, working harder and harder with every pound I gain. Since this event, mortality has been ringing in my ears, someday my heart will stop, and if i continue to be unhealthy, and heavy, my organs, and my heart are going to stop, and I will die. As I am writing this, I am thinking about how serious/dramatic this sounds, almost over the top, but it is all true. If we can't change the way we live we are all going to die from obesity related diseases that we could have stopped!! I am pleading with everyone who reads this, as well as myself, to start living for yourself, live a life that is worth living, I know losing this much weight will take a long time, but time is all we have until we have no more time at all! I lie awake at night and think about all the years I have wasted being unhappy. unhealthy, and disgusted with myself; and I ask myself why? Why do I hate myself so badly that I would allow this to happen, and continue to let happen?
So please, take a step with me in the direction of health, life, and happiness. Lets gain those years we've spent hating ourselves back, and really truly, begin to live.
So please, take a step with me in the direction of health, life, and happiness. Lets gain those years we've spent hating ourselves back, and really truly, begin to live.
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Replies
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Your post is both Sad and inspirational. I would be honored to take the journey with you and watch you become the person you need and want to be. Friend me, We can do this.0
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This brought tears to my eyes as my dad had a heart attack in 2009. Luckily he was given a second chance to change his life and he has done just that. He is my inspiration. It truly is possible! Whether we have to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds, we can do it!0
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Put alot of dedication and motivation into this.
Think of it as a lifestyle change to lose weight, and not a diet.
Sending friend request0 -
I've been there hun. Heart nearly gave up 3/09 and I stroked out in 10/09. No reason to go back there again! You got this!0
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You are right! Time to grab hold of life and take charge by loving ourselves enough to fight back! We can do it! Yes we can!0
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I can't say I've experienced what you have but I have been unhappy and unhealthy. Just like you I want to be healthy and live a long life. If you need a friend feel free to add me and talk to me whenever you'd like!
xoxo
Delilah
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I had that wake up call a year ago at 323 pounds...thank God you can deal with it now and not wait till your weight soars any higher.
You CAN do this!0 -
I see the reality of obesity every day I go to work. I am a nurse in a hospital and I work on the Cardiac unit. I see heart attacks and open bypass surgeries daily. Diabetes is the root of all evil!! Pretty much I was inspired to change my life after deciding that I was too young to live life fat and unhealthy. I can change and control what I eat and how I spend my days...so I started this journey about a year and a half ago and I have lost 75 pounds. I went from a size 22 pants to a 10. I feel amazing and all I can say is that it is a long hard journey but persistence is the only way you will reach your goal. Do the very best you can every day and pretty soon you will be where you envision yourself to be. Best of luck! You are worth this! Feel free to add me :flowerforyou:0
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Now you have your motivation. Now is your time to own your life. You can do this. Here are a couple quotes that keep me motivated.
"Those that think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness". - Edward Stanley
Loosing weight is hard.
Maintaining weight is hard.
Staying fat is hard.
CHOOSE YOUR HARD.
Congratulations on your break through!0 -
YOU CAN DO IT. YOU HAVE THE BEST REASON, HEALTH. KEEP US POSTED REGULARLY WITH UPDATES AND PICTURES. LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOUR SUCCESS!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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I know where you're coming from. I'm also 5'8" and I was 240 lbs at my heaviest (13 yrs ago). You said something that really got my attention; the description of your pounding heart. Have you been checked for high blood pressure? If not, please do, and SOON!! I had gotten to where I just didn't feel good any more. Every day was a struggle to just get thru and be able to go home from work, feed my kids, spend some family time with them, and then go to bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. Then, one day, I just had this awful feeling that something was seriously wrong. My head felt like it wasn't even attached to my body, like I was floating above myself, and a pounding heart. I could literally see my heartbeat on my chest. I got my daughters and drove myself to the ER (being only a temp employee and having no insurance, it was my only option). Once the ER dr checked me out, he asked me how I'd gotten to the hospital, who brought me there. I said that I drove myself. He couldn't believe I'd driven myself. He told me that my blood pressure was the highest he'd ever seen, and told me that I was gearing up for either a heart attack or stroke. He put me on drugs to lower the pressure asap, and a referral to a doctor. Please, please...get your pressure checked if you haven't already!!! I can't stress it enough! I was on HBP meds for the next 8 years. I finally lost enough weight that my pressure returned to normal, and I kept the weight off and my dr finally took me off meds!!! I know I got a little sideways in my reply to your post, but I'm really concerned!!!0
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We will be here for you!
This site/app is the best thing I've found for dieting and getting fit. So much support and loads of inspiration. =D
Go go go!!!
Cheers!
Feel free to add :flowerforyou:0 -
I truly believe everyone needs to read this. Before aesthetics, we need to think about our health. We are given one body, we need to take care of it! Your epiphany is inspirational. Thank you for sharing!0
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Your story is so similar to so many, however, you're ready to do something about it and not just complain! That is amazing. I was pretty well overweight, I wouldn't say knocking on deaths door but def needing to drop some weight. Found myself getting winded and harder to move around. That was a year ago. Now I'm training for a half marathon. You can change. It takes time. It takes determination. You will not always be perfect, you will make mistakes. It's ok. You dust yourself off and try again. Being where you are is sad and hard but just know that you can make the change! You can add me if you'd like for support
I'd love to be there for ya!
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how many punds is 00lbs?0
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over 100lbs more like 150lbs0
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girl... u got that! you can do it!0
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You can do this. You're already made the determination that you want to make a change for the better. You will go get a lot of support on these boards.
Just remember that there are a lot of people in the world who would love to be able to exercise, but for some reason our another they physically can't. Those of us who are capable shouldn't have any reason not to live a healthy life.
Feel free to friend me.
A long journey begins with a single step. Welcome to the start of yours.0 -
I am 5'8'' 280lbs with over 100lbs to lose I am constantly hiding from the stigma of dying from an obesity related disease; all of us with so much to loose are looking death in the face on a daily basis. This realization has been haunting me this past week. As I was getting into bed one night, i reached over to turn a lamp off and I realized how fast and hard my heart was beating, how hard it was to breathe. Suddenly I was aware that my heart beats and keeps me alive, and it beats every day, all day long, working harder and harder with every pound I gain. Since this event, mortality has been ringing in my ears, someday my heart will stop, and if i continue to be unhealthy, and heavy, my organs, and my heart are going to stop, and I will die. As I am writing this, I am thinking about how serious/dramatic this sounds, almost over the top, but it is all true. If we can't change the way we live we are all going to die from obesity related diseases that we could have stopped!! I am pleading with everyone who reads this, as well as myself, to start living for yourself, live a life that is worth living, I know losing this much weight will take a long time, but time is all we have until we have no more time at all! I lie awake at night and think about all the years I have wasted being unhappy. unhealthy, and disgusted with myself; and I ask myself why? Why do I hate myself so badly that I would allow this to happen, and continue to let happen?
So please, take a step with me in the direction of health, life, and happiness. Lets gain those years we've spent hating ourselves back, and really truly, begin to live.
This is so true and it resonates with me! I am working hard these days! 0 -
It sucks when it takes things like that to wake up but be happy that you did. Some don't and you recognizing that you can do something about it is great. I felt the same as I was video taping my cats playing, I was walking following them to post it up for a friend to see. I replayed it and heard how hard I was breathing just walking around and I got a horrible feeling in my stomach. Each day everyone faces death but if we want to live a happy life we have to take charge of it. the best advice I have is lose the fear and eat clean and most importantly love yourself.0
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You got this!
I graduated HS over 12yrs ago I was 135lbs
I dropped the bad habit of smoking I picked up though school
I replaced that habit with food and in 2yrs I gained almost 200lbs
I never thought about it til March 2009 when my doc told me dont' even think of having kids til i lose some weight
So off I went I had no excuse since I am a housewife
I dropped 156lbs in 19 months
then came the stress of buying/selling houses I gained 40back
this is my year to get the last 56lbs off to my goal of 160
if you need a buddy feel free to add me
if you want I can look over your food diary's and help you along
I am pretty honest thats why a lot of my friends are excited to have someone to tell them instead of saying Great job everyday even on the days they aren't doing so great
Tho a few ppl i had on friends wanted a friend like that and couldn't handle the advice and de-friended me
if you wish to have someone that will help you
add me
that goes for anyone
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I get it! Being diagnosed with high cholesterol and prediabetes at 38 makes you think. Feel free to add me if you like.0
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i started approximately 211ish and have 100ish total to lose. I am down 24 right now. Friend me if you want, though if you want someone your height, I'm not.0
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Awesome!0
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I'm with you! I experienced difficulty in breathing too. Especially when I am in my obese stage. When I lay down on my bed, and lay sideways there's always a feeling in my chest that it was like something has pressing my heart that makes me lose my breathe. Its hard to breathe sometimes when I'm laying. Now that I've lost weight and exercise regularly, those feelings were completely gone. And I can say that I'm happier being healthy now than the way I am before. 0
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Wow, that seriously made me think. But you're absolutely right. Please everyone who wants, add me!0
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I know where you are coming from and I know you can do it! The best part is that as you get into it, you gradually evolve to doing it for more positive reasons.
you start off "I do this, or I die"
But if you stick to it, it evolves into "I do this and I truly live"
That makes all the difference.
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for me my reasons are to have kids
live a long and healthy life with my hubby
watch our kids grow up & have kids
grow old together and be healthy
and many others but those stick out the most for me
i tell people write it down your reasons put it on the fridge read it every morning
and when you wanna eat something unhealthy read it again
memorize it
study it
go by it!0 -
I've been on blood pressure meds for about 3 years now. Last fall my doc wanted to get an echo of my heart to watch how hard it actually has to work to beat. The tech showed me the bit of video he took of my heart and carefully explained what I was looking at and if it was good or not. Specifically the slightly leaky valve was not good. The tech told me his story as well, he had a minor heart attack shortly after his first child was born. It was quite a story and stuck with me. My doc decided my heart was working hard but within 'acceptable' limits. I decided differently so since the new year I've been working hard to bring my weight down. I've had set backs and can't seem to keep from eating pizza but I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far and I have every intention of reaching my goal.0
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Oh gosh i can relate. I thought i was having a heart attack a few years ago after not seeing a doctor in about 6 years. Ended up in urgent care, then ambulanced to the hospital, but they didn't find anything. I did find out i had really high blood pressure of course and started meds. I had been totally ignoring my health while i ballooned up to almost 400 lbs. I felt so unwell in so many ways, from the aches and pains in my body to weird and sudden chest pain, my back giving out, my knees hurting, etc...and then of course the anxiety because i felt like i was gonna die any minute and all i did was worry about every little pain, wondering if "this was it" and trying to figure out if i should go to the hospital or not. I literally was afraid to be alone, afraid to go to sleep. I lived life like that every single day for 3 years. I functioned ok at work, when i was distracted, but once i got home, each evening was a nightmare. I spent a couple years going to the doctor constantly.My heart checked out "ok" but I found out i do have an "early heartbeat" (benign but probably due to my sedentary lifestyle and weight and i feel the palpitations which were part of what was scaring the crap out of me) and well...i could go on and on.
Long story shorter, what you said is something i thought about, literally freaked about, every day. I realized that all the food I 'loved so much' didn't actually mean that much to me if it was going to kill me. I thought "really, i would rather die than skip a cheeseburger? Umm, if never eating a cheeseburger again will help keep me alive, totally worth it". How many morbidly obese people do we see who are 70? Not that many at all and if we do, they are disabled or looking like they are gonna drop any minute.
I have started eating better and although my weight loss is slow, i'm persisting and am going to do this. My diet, while not even close to perfect is still a gazillion times better than it used to be.....i know i've already done damage to myself, but i have faith that i can at least give it my best effort and live a quality life as long as possible. I know i can at least get healthy, i can change my life, it's in my power. It's hard, crazy hard...why i don't know...but i go to counseling to deal with the mental aspects of myself that contribute to my health issues, i go to the doctor, i'm slowly starting to exercise, it's a trial day by day, but i know that everyone that is healthy, even if they've never been fat, has to make choices in order to be healthy...and that's what i'm gonna do.
Thanks for posting this, it was from the heart and you voiced what so many people probably feel, but don't bring to the surface. I have 200 lbs to lose still. Sad but true. But you know, all we have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and understand that if we keep on keeping on, we will win this battle and live a new lifestyle for as long as we are meant to. Being this overweight is literally slow suicide....my grandfather said that to me once, and you know what, i really believe it. I don't know why i lived that life for so many years, but i'm DONE!
I'm so happy to be here among all these people, the fat ones, the fit ones, the new ones, the ones who have been here forever, the ones who are having a hard time, the ones who are succeeding, it doesn't matter. Being here together with the common goal of good health is inspiring and i'm with you all...lets keep on keepin on!0
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