Facing Death

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oamber0
oamber0 Posts: 53
in Introduce Yourself
I am 5'8'' 280lbs with over 100lbs to lose I am constantly hiding from the stigma of dying from an obesity related disease; all of us with so much to loose are looking death in the face on a daily basis. This realization has been haunting me this past week. As I was getting into bed one night, i reached over to turn a lamp off and I realized how fast and hard my heart was beating, how hard it was to breathe. Suddenly I was aware that my heart beats and keeps me alive, and it beats every day, all day long, working harder and harder with every pound I gain. Since this event, mortality has been ringing in my ears, someday my heart will stop, and if i continue to be unhealthy, and heavy, my organs, and my heart are going to stop, and I will die. As I am writing this, I am thinking about how serious/dramatic this sounds, almost over the top, but it is all true. If we can't change the way we live we are all going to die from obesity related diseases that we could have stopped!! I am pleading with everyone who reads this, as well as myself, to start living for yourself, live a life that is worth living, I know losing this much weight will take a long time, but time is all we have until we have no more time at all! I lie awake at night and think about all the years I have wasted being unhappy. unhealthy, and disgusted with myself; and I ask myself why? Why do I hate myself so badly that I would allow this to happen, and continue to let happen?

So please, take a step with me in the direction of health, life, and happiness. Lets gain those years we've spent hating ourselves back, and really truly, begin to live.
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Replies

  • jmart53
    jmart53 Posts: 47
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    Your post is both Sad and inspirational. I would be honored to take the journey with you and watch you become the person you need and want to be. Friend me, We can do this.
  • Alexandrea22
    Alexandrea22 Posts: 37 Member
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    This brought tears to my eyes as my dad had a heart attack in 2009. Luckily he was given a second chance to change his life and he has done just that. He is my inspiration. It truly is possible! Whether we have to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds, we can do it!
  • EatClenTrenHard
    EatClenTrenHard Posts: 339 Member
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    Put alot of dedication and motivation into this.

    Think of it as a lifestyle change to lose weight, and not a diet.

    Sending friend request
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    I've been there hun. Heart nearly gave up 3/09 and I stroked out in 10/09. No reason to go back there again! You got this!
  • Gwenski
    Gwenski Posts: 348 Member
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    You are right! Time to grab hold of life and take charge by loving ourselves enough to fight back! We can do it! Yes we can!
  • DelilahNguyen
    DelilahNguyen Posts: 26
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    I can't say I've experienced what you have but I have been unhappy and unhealthy. Just like you I want to be healthy and live a long life. If you need a friend feel free to add me and talk to me whenever you'd like!

    xoxo
    Delilah

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  • sevencallmemom
    sevencallmemom Posts: 505 Member
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    I had that wake up call a year ago at 323 pounds...thank God you can deal with it now and not wait till your weight soars any higher.

    You CAN do this!
  • byrnet18
    byrnet18 Posts: 230 Member
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    I see the reality of obesity every day I go to work. I am a nurse in a hospital and I work on the Cardiac unit. I see heart attacks and open bypass surgeries daily. Diabetes is the root of all evil!! Pretty much I was inspired to change my life after deciding that I was too young to live life fat and unhealthy. I can change and control what I eat and how I spend my days...so I started this journey about a year and a half ago and I have lost 75 pounds. I went from a size 22 pants to a 10. I feel amazing and all I can say is that it is a long hard journey but persistence is the only way you will reach your goal. Do the very best you can every day and pretty soon you will be where you envision yourself to be. Best of luck! You are worth this! Feel free to add me :flowerforyou:
  • blessmy5
    blessmy5 Posts: 95
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    Now you have your motivation. Now is your time to own your life. You can do this. Here are a couple quotes that keep me motivated.

    "Those that think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness". - Edward Stanley

    Loosing weight is hard.
    Maintaining weight is hard.
    Staying fat is hard.
    CHOOSE YOUR HARD.

    Congratulations on your break through!
  • imaheal
    imaheal Posts: 63 Member
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    YOU CAN DO IT. YOU HAVE THE BEST REASON, HEALTH. KEEP US POSTED REGULARLY WITH UPDATES AND PICTURES. LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOUR SUCCESS!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
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    I know where you're coming from. I'm also 5'8" and I was 240 lbs at my heaviest (13 yrs ago). You said something that really got my attention; the description of your pounding heart. Have you been checked for high blood pressure? If not, please do, and SOON!! I had gotten to where I just didn't feel good any more. Every day was a struggle to just get thru and be able to go home from work, feed my kids, spend some family time with them, and then go to bed. All I wanted to do was sleep. Then, one day, I just had this awful feeling that something was seriously wrong. My head felt like it wasn't even attached to my body, like I was floating above myself, and a pounding heart. I could literally see my heartbeat on my chest. I got my daughters and drove myself to the ER (being only a temp employee and having no insurance, it was my only option). Once the ER dr checked me out, he asked me how I'd gotten to the hospital, who brought me there. I said that I drove myself. He couldn't believe I'd driven myself. He told me that my blood pressure was the highest he'd ever seen, and told me that I was gearing up for either a heart attack or stroke. He put me on drugs to lower the pressure asap, and a referral to a doctor. Please, please...get your pressure checked if you haven't already!!! I can't stress it enough! I was on HBP meds for the next 8 years. I finally lost enough weight that my pressure returned to normal, and I kept the weight off and my dr finally took me off meds!!! I know I got a little sideways in my reply to your post, but I'm really concerned!!!
  • Darrknys
    Darrknys Posts: 91
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    We will be here for you!
    This site/app is the best thing I've found for dieting and getting fit. So much support and loads of inspiration. =D

    Go go go!!!
    Cheers!
    Feel free to add :flowerforyou:
  • shovav91
    shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
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    I truly believe everyone needs to read this. Before aesthetics, we need to think about our health. We are given one body, we need to take care of it! Your epiphany is inspirational. Thank you for sharing!
  • april1lowe
    april1lowe Posts: 202 Member
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    Your story is so similar to so many, however, you're ready to do something about it and not just complain! That is amazing. I was pretty well overweight, I wouldn't say knocking on deaths door but def needing to drop some weight. Found myself getting winded and harder to move around. That was a year ago. Now I'm training for a half marathon. You can change. It takes time. It takes determination. You will not always be perfect, you will make mistakes. It's ok. You dust yourself off and try again. Being where you are is sad and hard but just know that you can make the change! You can add me if you'd like for support :) I'd love to be there for ya!

    190581_193839630636188_100000304560286_598935_1816215_n-3-1-1.jpg
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
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    how many punds is 00lbs?
  • oamber0
    oamber0 Posts: 53
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    over 100lbs more like 150lbs
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
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    girl... u got that! you can do it!
  • dauenhab
    dauenhab Posts: 33 Member
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    You can do this. You're already made the determination that you want to make a change for the better. You will go get a lot of support on these boards.

    Just remember that there are a lot of people in the world who would love to be able to exercise, but for some reason our another they physically can't. Those of us who are capable shouldn't have any reason not to live a healthy life.

    Feel free to friend me.

    A long journey begins with a single step. Welcome to the start of yours.
  • michellebd1980
    michellebd1980 Posts: 169
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    I am 5'8'' 280lbs with over 100lbs to lose I am constantly hiding from the stigma of dying from an obesity related disease; all of us with so much to loose are looking death in the face on a daily basis. This realization has been haunting me this past week. As I was getting into bed one night, i reached over to turn a lamp off and I realized how fast and hard my heart was beating, how hard it was to breathe. Suddenly I was aware that my heart beats and keeps me alive, and it beats every day, all day long, working harder and harder with every pound I gain. Since this event, mortality has been ringing in my ears, someday my heart will stop, and if i continue to be unhealthy, and heavy, my organs, and my heart are going to stop, and I will die. As I am writing this, I am thinking about how serious/dramatic this sounds, almost over the top, but it is all true. If we can't change the way we live we are all going to die from obesity related diseases that we could have stopped!! I am pleading with everyone who reads this, as well as myself, to start living for yourself, live a life that is worth living, I know losing this much weight will take a long time, but time is all we have until we have no more time at all! I lie awake at night and think about all the years I have wasted being unhappy. unhealthy, and disgusted with myself; and I ask myself why? Why do I hate myself so badly that I would allow this to happen, and continue to let happen?

    So please, take a step with me in the direction of health, life, and happiness. Lets gain those years we've spent hating ourselves back, and really truly, begin to live.

    This is so true and it resonates with me! I am working hard these days! :)
  • MrzMensy
    MrzMensy Posts: 38
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    It sucks when it takes things like that to wake up but be happy that you did. Some don't and you recognizing that you can do something about it is great. I felt the same as I was video taping my cats playing, I was walking following them to post it up for a friend to see. I replayed it and heard how hard I was breathing just walking around and I got a horrible feeling in my stomach. Each day everyone faces death but if we want to live a happy life we have to take charge of it. the best advice I have is lose the fear and eat clean and most importantly love yourself.

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