Difference in how you are treated

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  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Confidence makes a huge difference in how you are treated. I've never been all that big but I know when I'm feeling good about myself, strangers will strike up a conversation. When I'm not doing well emotionally, even if I make a point to smile and be pleasant, I am treated differently. So don't rule that out.

    But, not every overweight person lacks confidence, and losing weight doesn't necessarily give it to you. Overweight people are treated differently, and I'm sure that for the most part, people aren't aware they're doing it.
  • Monti_e_lmt
    Monti_e_lmt Posts: 189 Member
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    I offer a reverse perspective. 2 years ago, I was 30 or 40 lbs lighter and I gained weight at a stressful job, ever since then people in stores treat me like trash. It has nothing to do with confidence because I am normally bubbly and joking with my mom in public and I try not to show how they make me feel when they are so rude to me. I am trying to lose my job weight AND an extra 40 lbs. Hope I will get treated better. Oh and at work, if a client sees me for the first time, you should see the way they look at me, but their attitude usually changes by the time I am done massaging them.When will people see the beauty in others based on their hearts, not their bodies.
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
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    Rando people (except some women) treat me SOOOOOOOO much better and I was never really treated badly before. Friends who are still overweight or obese have pulled away,
  • DawnOf1969
    DawnOf1969 Posts: 726 Member
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    Definitely noticed a difference from when I was 50 pounds heavier. People are nicer, men (of all ages, even teenagers) hold doors for me, men flirt and smile at me and make conversation with me in the produce aisles. That never happened when I was 50 lbs heavier. I get treated differently even by women sales clerks in clothing stores or Dillards or Macys. So yeah, I've noticed a huge difference and I really like it.
  • lollypops09
    lollypops09 Posts: 21 Member
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    You are so right. Some people are nicer and more accepting. Which hurts just as much by unintentionally emphasizing how those same people made me feel like I was not good enough. The people that truly matter realized my weight was more from the hurts in my heart and loved me into being healthy again. As the weight melts off I pray my heart heals toward those nice people also.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I used to be ignored and avoided.
    Now I have the opposite happen - recently I was at the grocery store and it was packed. I was in the middle of one of the checkout lines and the manager came up to me, pulled me aside, opened a lane just for me, and closed it after I checked out, because he "didn't want my to have to wait so long."
    That was bizarre and probably the most extreme example, but people DEFINITELY treat me a lot different now.

    I would prefer something in the middle, to be perfectly honest, since excessive attention makes me uncomfortable, but it has made me more determined than ever not to let my own behavior be dictated by the appearance of others since I know how unfair it is.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i never noticed any difference from when i was thin and when i became overweight, and i still get hit on by about the same amount of guys as before. but i attribute that more to the fact that my personality is still the same. i'm pretty outgoing (which gets mistaken for flirtation very often) and being part caribbean and raised in the midwest i'm fairly free with a smile and a hello.
  • Aphreal
    Aphreal Posts: 103
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    I never notice things like this. My husband tells me that men look when I look better but I don't notice. I think partly is because I have a low self esteem and typically look at the floor when I am out and walking around. I don't look at people.
  • soniaa777
    soniaa777 Posts: 126 Member
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    it might be from the way you carry yourself now as opposed to 40 lbs a ago. :) a happier you perhaps :p
  • spapsidero
    spapsidero Posts: 60
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    I too have always been a confident big girl. I believe people perceive u in a better light when u are confident. If u feel like ur not as good as others u will be treated that way by others. I have always been with good looking fit men. Men think confidence is very sexy.
  • drich1989
    drich1989 Posts: 95 Member
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    I believe this is 100% true! It amazes me, and actually makes me a little sad.
    When I am at my best weight, people are insanely nice to me. Way more people talk to me in class, guys constantly open doors for me and flirt and I'm given chances I wouldn't normally be given. When Im at my highest weight (right now), no one even looks twice at me. People barely talk to me and no attention is given.

    Its difficult to deal with, but I will admit I'm guilty of the same thing. Overweight people get the "lazy" title and seems like they lack self control. Have been on the skinny and the fat side of life, I can say that its not right, or fair to treat people differently.
  • gashinshotan
    gashinshotan Posts: 753 Member
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    What's even worst is that fat people (especially guys) view other fat people the same way a lot of the times
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Do you ever find that there is a general difference in how people treat you from your highest weight to your lowest (such as job interviews, or in a store)? I don't know if it is in my head but I really feel that people have been nicer and wanting to chat to me now then at my highest, 40 lbs ago.

    Any thoughts?

    No, actually I find it utterly amazing that people are ALWAYS smiling at me (men and especially other women) and speaking and saying "hi' to me all the time--constantly, no matter where I go--I most always get "preferential" treatment and treated very well all the time now that I'm FAT.

    I'm not sure if it's because i'm a "confident" person--I am an outgoing person and rather bubbly most times--but no, people/strangers treat me really friendly all the time. The more i think of it though...when I was really stick skinny--guys would speak to me and smile at me FAR MORE than women. Women weren't friendly to me as they are now, so...go figure!
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
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    When I got heavy, people used to avoid eye contact, which was hard for me, because I like to smile at strangers. I think the increase in people hitting on me is from my increased confidence, but I think there's more to it, because in general people will make eye contact with me and return my smiles or random small talk, while they wouldn't even meet my gaze before.
  • SammyPacks
    SammyPacks Posts: 697 Member
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    Yeah... there's a HUGE difference. People think I look friendly than I did when I was fat (guess I gave off the bully vibe?) where as I'm really shy and am not use to people coming up and just sparking conversation. The flirting is weird too and I'm in a relationship and don't know how to handle it besides saying thank you and leaving it at that. Stalkers. Stalkers kinda started too.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    I have definately noticed the difference! Being quite a shy person as well it's helped me come out of my shell more!

    Also had some guys wanting me to dance at a gig a couple of weeks ago, that never used to happen!

    I also noticed my overweight friends treat me different, one especially said what I was doing wasn't healthy and I should put my weight back on!!! No thanks!!
  • mabug01
    mabug01 Posts: 1,273 Member
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    Absolutely true. People seem to trust me more. And, having been up and down in weight several times, I definitely see it. It has nothing to do with confidence, IMO.
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 7,965 Member
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    I feel like people are more protective of me since I now look petite. It feels like people suddenly think I'm helpless when I'm really stronger. :huh:
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    Do you ever find that there is a general difference in how people treat you from your highest weight to your lowest (such as job interviews, or in a store)? I don't know if it is in my head but I really feel that people have been nicer and wanting to chat to me now then at my highest, 40 lbs ago.

    Any thoughts?

    Yes. Losing weight made things easier. People want to be your friend. Jobs are easier to obtain. You don't get ignored when you are waiting to be served, etc. etc.

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