not about weight..but about a creepy guy..advice please
so I have a problem..this isnt weight related at all. I live in a apartment complex ...its actually a house that was built into 7 little small apartments anyways..we get a new neighbor a few months ago..a guy..hes probably in his late 40s, everything was fine at first but now for almost two months i feel f*cked with by this guy but i want to know if im over reacting...Hes creepy first of all..girls you know what im talking about when a guy just has that creepy look & vibe to him..hes a drunk, i always see him with a beer in his hand & hes a loud mouth annoying person.
hes always trying to talking to me, hes always saying smart *kitten* **** to me...then the watching started happening..i will be outside and he will come outside to..he will just stand at his door way and watch me...he scares me..at night ill be walking up the stairs and he'll be some where i cant see him and scream BOO and ill scream and he starts laughing...he one time knocked on my door and was hiding behind the door where i couldn't see him..at night when i was home alone and i slammed the door & that really scared me.
He always comes outside when he sees me outside..he watches my exercise..i go up and down the stairs in the morning as a form of exercising and he watch's me do that..i have ignored him..i have rolled my eyes at him..he told my mom that i spit on him, when i never did, he did that the morning i rolled my eyes at him..i am 21 years old..this guy told me he dated a girl as young as his daughter, not sure why he told me this...
so after all this i looked to see if he does this to everyone..he talks to NO one else here..he ****s with no one else here but me.. there's a 23 year old girl that lives here..he doesn't even glance up at her..because at first i thought maybe hes just this way with everyone, but hes not..he only does all of this stuff to me....
what should i do? Im going to cuss him out next time he messes with me. I know that's not the best way of dealing with things but i cant take it no more and i hate even going outside anymore because of this man...is it okay for this guy to be doing this? am i over reacting? I wish he would just move away
hes always trying to talking to me, hes always saying smart *kitten* **** to me...then the watching started happening..i will be outside and he will come outside to..he will just stand at his door way and watch me...he scares me..at night ill be walking up the stairs and he'll be some where i cant see him and scream BOO and ill scream and he starts laughing...he one time knocked on my door and was hiding behind the door where i couldn't see him..at night when i was home alone and i slammed the door & that really scared me.
He always comes outside when he sees me outside..he watches my exercise..i go up and down the stairs in the morning as a form of exercising and he watch's me do that..i have ignored him..i have rolled my eyes at him..he told my mom that i spit on him, when i never did, he did that the morning i rolled my eyes at him..i am 21 years old..this guy told me he dated a girl as young as his daughter, not sure why he told me this...
so after all this i looked to see if he does this to everyone..he talks to NO one else here..he ****s with no one else here but me.. there's a 23 year old girl that lives here..he doesn't even glance up at her..because at first i thought maybe hes just this way with everyone, but hes not..he only does all of this stuff to me....
what should i do? Im going to cuss him out next time he messes with me. I know that's not the best way of dealing with things but i cant take it no more and i hate even going outside anymore because of this man...is it okay for this guy to be doing this? am i over reacting? I wish he would just move away
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Replies
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I wouldn't cuss him out. Who knows how unstable he may be. Doing things like that just makes me nervous becuase you really don't know how ppl are. I'd mention all this to your landlord. Tell them you don't feel safe.0
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If it were happening to me, I would first start by checking to see if he is a registered sex offender or has a record.
Speak with your landlord about what is going on, see if they can be of help.
Not that the police can do anything because he is "creepy", but I would talk to my local police station and see what could be done - file a stalking report, have the police come out and check on you..not sure.
I would also take a picture of him (a really good photo) give it to the police and give it to your folks. Make sure his name on it and any other information about him is on it.
Do you have anyone that can come and stay with you for a few days? It might be a good idea to have someone else check this guy out. Make sure they get a good look at him and that he knows this person saw him.
Maybe get a really, big dog and train the dog to attack only him! :noway:
Hopefully, someone on MFP is with the police department and can give you some better advice.0 -
i know i shouldn't cuss him out but im just so fed up....& i deff. am going to talk to my landlord ..shes a women i hope she will understand..i just feel like maybe im over reacting..like boys will be boys? because i said this to someone and they said to not be so dramatic that hes just ****ing with you... not a big deal. but im scared, i hate going outside now0
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talk to your landlord, and see if you can have a friend come stay over for a while esp if you have a guy friend that could be there.0
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Pepper Spray. Next time he jumps out at you give him a faceful.0
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If it were happening to me, I would first start by checking to see if he is a registered sex offender or has a record.
Speak with your landlord about what is going on, see if they can be of help.
Not that the police can do anything because he is "creepy", but I would talk to my local police station and see what could be done - file a stalking report, have the police come out and check on you..not sure.
I would also take a picture of him (a really good photo) give it to the police and give it to your folks. Make sure his name on it and any other information about him is on it.
Do you have anyone that can come and stay with you for a few days? It might be a good idea to have someone else check this guy out. Make sure they get a good look at him and that he knows this person saw him.
Maybe get a really, big dog and train the dog to attack only him! :noway:
Hopefully, someone on MFP is with the police department and can give you some better advice.
This. Seriously. This guy is a creep, and you should maybe avoid being around him. Talk to your landlord pronto, and don't provoke this guy.0 -
Yes def talk to the landlord. If that doesn't work then MOVE!0
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File a written complaint with the landlord.0
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i know i shouldn't cuss him out but im just so fed up....& i deff. am going to talk to my landlord ..shes a women i hope she will understand..i just feel like maybe im over reacting..like boys will be boys? because i said this to someone and they said to not be so dramatic that hes just ****ing with you... not a big deal. but im scared, i hate going outside now
you can't trust that everyone is innocent these days. I know that sounds bad but you don't know this guy and to be a single girl living on her own you need to worry about your own safety. Better safe than sorry, right?0 -
i know i shouldn't cuss him out but im just so fed up....& i deff. am going to talk to my landlord ..shes a women i hope she will understand..i just feel like maybe im over reacting..like boys will be boys? because i said this to someone and they said to not be so dramatic that hes just ****ing with you... not a big deal. but im scared, i hate going outside now
If you're scared, then this is NOT okay. Normally gut feelings are right with stuff like this. If it's making you truly uneasy then you're not overreacting, I agree with everyone else: talk to your landlord.0 -
have you ever talked back to him?0
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Pepper Spray. Next time he jumps out at you give him a faceful.
no kidding! I bet he'll think twice before messing with you again!!0 -
Thats not on at all Amy!
I'm not sure how the law stands over there but in the UK he could be slapped with an ASBO (anti social behaviour order), although to be fair they don't do a lot.
If your land lord can't do anything speak to your local police as it could be put down as verbal harrasment, and if he's making you feel unsafe and threatened then they should be able to do something, even if it's just a warning to knock it off or it'll be taken further.0 -
As a single woman, one of the best things you can do? Get a dog. Get a really, really big dog. When my mom was living alone, her neighbors would try to take advantage of her, give her s*it, she's pretty sure one of them tried to break into her house.
When she got her German Shepard, all of that stopped.
Next, talk to the landlord.
I second taking a picture of this guy and giving it to your parents, etc. That way if something does happen, they know the first person to go to, and they can keep an eye on him.
Talk to the police and see what you can do.0 -
Bottom line is you are scared by him and his behaviour is very odd. You have a right to feel safe in your own appartment, you need to speak with your landlord so they have a record of what has been going on. Hopefully they will do something about it, and maybe there is absolutely nothing to worry about but it is always better to be safe. Good luck0
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You have been given plenty of sound advice. Definitely DON'T provoke him, and prioritize getting somebody to stay with you for a few days / notifying your landlord.0
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this tooPepper Spray. Next time he jumps out at you give him a faceful.0 -
Pepper Spray. Next time he jumps out at you give him a faceful.
THIS! As a female living on your own, you have every right to protect yourself against anyone who is bothering you. Maybe enroll in a self defense class as well.0 -
i have spoken to him....not about how hes making me feel though.i try to keep it short..but the past 2 weeks i ignore him and just keep walking and don't say anything..but hes still trying to speak to me..& doing the watching and all that. thank you for all of your advice.0
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i know i shouldn't cuss him out but im just so fed up....& i deff. am going to talk to my landlord ..shes a women i hope she will understand..i just feel like maybe im over reacting..like boys will be boys? because i said this to someone and they said to not be so dramatic that hes just ****ing with you... not a big deal. but im scared, i hate going outside now
Do not listen to whoever told you to NOT over react. If you don't feel safe, if you feel afraid, then you need to do something about it. DEFINITELY talk to your landlady and ask her if she did a thorough background check on him. Do the picture thing, DEFINITELY do the pepper spray thing. I would go to the local police, explain the situation and ask about pepper spray and if it's something you should be worried about or what steps can you take to make sure this doesn't get to a violent situation. Sure there are creepy people everywhere but if you don't feel safe and this is the place you LIVE and he actually comes to your door to do those things, yes do something. You don't know if he is stable.
Good luck.0 -
TELL YOUR LANDLORD FOR REALZ0
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You are not over-reacting at all! This guy sounds like a class A creep. You shouldn't be afraid to go outside your own apartment. I agree with the others that the first step is to look him up to see if he is a sex offender and then talk with your landlord. The police can help because he is bothering you-stalking is an offense and I definately don't think that is taking things too far. You need to be safe girly! I also agree that someone should come stay with you, preferably a large burly man but a girl would do
I don't think I offered any new advice but I hope I encouraged you to take steps to protect yourself. Good luck!!! 0 -
to add to everything everyone else has already said - log everything
keep a diary, and make a note of everything he does that's creepy
hopefully you'll never need it, but if you do, you've got it
that advice comes from having a friend that has a harassment order out against her neighbour0 -
Do not get back at him in any form. While it may be satisfying to give him a good ol' "*kitten* you" or a face full of pepper spray, if you turn around and complain about him, you've given him ammunition against you. If you really feel a need to say something to him, blatantly tell him to leave you alone, his company is unwanted. If he persists after that, then you have a stronger case.
Like the others have said, make your landlord aware of the behavior. I'm not sure what the police could do at this point given it's your word against his and unless the guy does have a record of harassment or stalking or really just anything it will be dismissed, more than likely. I'll also echo the advice of having someone stay with you for a few days, not only to give you security but to be witness to anything he does, if he'll do anything with someone around.0 -
If it were happening to me, I would first start by checking to see if he is a registered sex offender or has a record.
Speak with your landlord about what is going on, see if they can be of help.
This!
I'd check your state's database ASAP. Also, tell the landlord so that there is some kind of record, then start telling the landlord EVERY TIME he harasses you.
The jumping out at you thing is NOT OKAY. If it happens again I'd tell him (as calmly as you can) that you do not like it, that it makes you uncomfortable and that if it happens again, you are going to start reporting it as harrassment to the police. Then actually report him. SO MANY TIMES bullies like this go unchecked becase people don't actually take the time to tell the appropriate authorities. After 2-3 complaints you can file a restraining order if it persists.
Sorry you are having to go through that. We should ALL get to feel safe in our own homes!0 -
Check the sex offender registry just to be sure.
Talk to your landlord
Do not initiate contact, even to give him a good cussing.
Get pepper spray, it's a non-deadly deterrent.
If your landlord does nothing, talk to the police for advice, better yet, if they're not busy have them meet you at your apartment so he'll see them.
JM0 -
I second the suggestions of checking into his background, carrying pepper spray, getting a dog if feasible, logging everytime he does something creepy so you have a record of it, and telling your landlord the situation. You have a right to feel safe in your own home, that includes rentals.0
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everyone is telling you great adivce so please listen and by all means do not provke him in any way....Also get a whistle a very good one not a cheap plastic one...Keep it around your neck at all times when you step out your door or even go to open it...if he comes near you start blowing and don't stop until someone comes looking. Also talk with your neighbors and let a few of them know, that way they can also keep an eye out on you and him.
Please don't take my next statement wrong: Check what you are wearing (clothes) while working out--some outfits can make crazy guys crazier. I say this because I work on a college campus and some of the outfits these girls wear --well lets just say the outfits look like nothing more than tights, and not all of them are working out.
Again please don't take that staement in a negitave way....
Remember keep the whistle around your neck not in your hand
**Side note: get a walking DVD that way you can workout in the safety of your home and not have to do the stairs-then he can't watch you as much**
Also check with your local Mall- a lot of malls have what you call Mall walkers, these are people that just walk around inside the mall for exercise this is usaully before the mall opens.0 -
If it were happening to me, I would first start by checking to see if he is a registered sex offender or has a record.
Speak with your landlord about what is going on, see if they can be of help.
Not that the police can do anything because he is "creepy", but I would talk to my local police station and see what could be done - file a stalking report, have the police come out and check on you..not sure.
I would also take a picture of him (a really good photo) give it to the police and give it to your folks. Make sure his name on it and any other information about him is on it.
Do you have anyone that can come and stay with you for a few days? It might be a good idea to have someone else check this guy out. Make sure they get a good look at him and that he knows this person saw him.
Maybe get a really, big dog and train the dog to attack only him! :noway:
Hopefully, someone on MFP is with the police department and can give you some better advice.
This minus the dog attack.0 -
Talk to your landlord by all means, he may be able to do something if your antagonist is also one of his/her tennants, but why not go straight to the police?
They can talk to him and at least mark his card for you. If the behaviour continues you then have a logged record with the authorities when you subsequently complain.
Good luck0
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