Heartbroken...again
Das_Modell
Posts: 167
there's a guy i've known for at least a couple years online. His name is Mike. The last time we were considered b/f and g/f he ended up breaking up with me for someone else. awhile after they broke up and we were still just friends. The past few months he's been saying how much he loves me and that i'm the one and only. Now i noticed he's talking to some other girl and leaving her somewhat sweet comments on myspace. Both saying that he's thinking of her..i noticed its mostly from monday up. I have a feeling im gonna lose him again :frown: . He's a bit mad at me now cuz i kept trying to text him and ask him about it so i don't have to feel like a complete idiot trying to leave him sweet i love u type comments all the time. I just wish I could find someone. I'm turning 21 next month and its been 3 or 4 years since i've hd a b/f. I feel alone 
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there's a guy i've known for at least a couple years online. His name is Mike. The last time we were considered b/f and g/f he ended up breaking up with me for someone else. awhile after they broke up and we were still just friends. The past few months he's been saying how much he loves me and that i'm the one and only. Now i noticed he's talking to some other girl and leaving her somewhat sweet comments on myspace. Both saying that he's thinking of her..i noticed its mostly from monday up. I have a feeling im gonna lose him again :frown: . He's a bit mad at me now cuz i kept trying to text him and ask him about it so i don't have to feel like a complete idiot trying to leave him sweet i love u type comments all the time. I just wish I could find someone. I'm turning 21 next month and its been 3 or 4 years since i've hd a b/f. I feel alone
OK look here. I am currently going through a MASSIVE heartache. But what I went through isn't important, what I'm going to tell you is.
You deserve someone who gives you every piece of them.
You deserve someone who calls you in the middle of the day to say they miss you.
You deserve someone who will find any way to be with you and make it happen.
You deserve it.
SO.
You DO NOT deserve to have a boy make you doubt yourself or your relationship in any way, shape, or form. DO NOT DESERVE IT.
If he has already dumped you for someone else in the past, then forget this dude. You deserve so much better. So it's gonna hurt like hell, but you're turning 21, chick, you have a whole life ahead of you. Go find what you deserve and don't waste your life away doubting yourself or any relationship you're in.
The End.0 -
Is this an only online thing or have you actually had a REAL face to face relationship? It has been my experience if he has done it once, he will do it again AND sounds like it is doing it right now. DUMP HIM.0
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I'm sorry your going through this. Have you ever met this guy in person? You are still very young. Don't worry. You WILL find love. You are beautiful. Do you go out with friends to places where you could meet someone? Hang in there. Men can be such dogs sometimes. :flowerforyou: Cindy
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I know this can't be easy, but you need to get on with your life. I've been on my own for 19 years and don't say to do that either, but you are still young and there's someone better out there for you. It might be hard to see now give it time. My son just went through this he was talking to a girl on line for over 3 months and he was crazy about her, and then, they met. It only lasted 2 dates because she was totally not the person she was on line. She has already moved on to someone eles, and my son is still upset. Be carefull how much of yourself your giving this guy he could be all fake. Good luck too you and God bless.:flowerforyou:0
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mostly online. the guys i've dated during high school didn't even last
. My friend kelly is younger than me, has a really good b/f. She got pregnant and he still stood by her. They're still together. My friend nicole has been with the same guy for years and they're still together. Unfortunately i haven't been so lucky 0 -
{APPLAUSE}
well said Das_Modell!!
but might i add....you need a REAL man...one who can spend time with you in real life (not on the computer) and who can give you the physical as well as emotional contact you need and deserve.
no offence intended and good luck, i am sure you'll find some one
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mostly online. the guys i've dated during high school didn't even last. My friend kelly is younger than me, has a really good b/f. She got pregnant and he still stood by her. They're still together. My friend nicole has been with the same guy for years and they're still together. Unfortunately i haven't been so lucky
I'm Sorry :flowerforyou:
and I know it's easier said than done, but drop him like a hot potato
Don't text him, don't call him, don't e-mail or IM him......Please don't take offense, and I know u care for him, but coming across as desperate or clingy isn't going to make him care anymore....
Also, I think these internet relationship become surreal at some point
Good luck, Kim0 -
I'm sorry you're feeling blue. I've been a very single, single mom for 12 years. Its taken me my whole life to realize that there is more to me than whether or not I"m single or dating. There is more to life than being with someone else. I had to come to understand that I, on my own, am ok and can indeed create and enjoy my life, with or without someone else. My singleness does not define me.
Beleive me, I understand lonely....I get it....its hard, sometimes bone-crushingly hard. But its part of our lives, unfortunately.
Online 'dating' is, by its nature, an open door for dishonesty....its too easy to pretend to be something or someone they're not.
I hope with all my heart for you that you find your one true love when you are most ready to be his one true love...and, that you'll find contentment on your own until then.
Good luck!0 -
Honey you are turning 21. Your going to have so many boys coming for you this is nothing. Keep going on with your life. He has. Enjoy your friends and family. Occupy youself with something. Enjoy your single life. Be happy and free. :flowerforyou:0
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Twenty one is very young I didn't meet my husband until I was 26 after being very single for two years (like no dates or anything) and being in an abusive relationship for five years before that (because I wanted a boyfriend so bad)--You deserve better don't sell yourself short wait for someone good to come along they will even if it isn't always in our time---I learned a lot about myself in the two years I was single it was an amazing time of personal growth!
Hang in there!
There is someone out there for you!0 -
I think many women have been through this at some point in their lives...dont despair. What you need to realize is that if a guy is really into you...then that's just it...he's really into you.
PLEASE, I beg of you, read a book called HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. This book is a huge eye opener and in my years of dating toads and lizards, it totally made me see the light.
The title may sound harsh, but I assure you its not. Its basically saying if a guy doesnt call you , date you, love you, be faithful to you then its time to move on. Only we can prevent others from ripping our hearts out, by playing it smart! There are 10,000,000 excuses out there for why a guy doesnt do XYZ, but in the end, if he's into you, wants to be with you, its more than obvious and you will never have to wonder.
Kimber is right too- the more you call, text, chase after him the more desperate you seem. Stop all action immediately! Let him come to you!
Dont waste your time on someone who plays games. Its not worth it. Instead get into your own life. Dont wait around for someone else to make you happy. If you are not 100% happy in your life, or close to it, then a man isnt going to change much. Do things you like to do...get into sports, crafts, hobbies, whatever!0 -
what sucks is he likes the exact same stuff i do. He's one of the few who has the same addiction to horror movies as i do. He even got me Robert Englund's autograph and i got to talk to Jason Mewes when he was at a Nightmare On Elm Street convention. He even had robert leave me a voicmail. It was definatly all real too :frown:0
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awww I'm so sorry to hear that.:ohwell:
I'm 25 and I haven't had a bf for 2 years. I just keep running into losers for some unknown reasons. My *kitten* ex was a huge sh*thead too. I keep thinking I'm never going to find a good guy and saying "why is this taking forever!?"...but like everyone said, you'll find love! Maybe it's just not the right time. When it's supposed to happen, it'll happen and it'll feel amazing and you'll be so happy
( I can't wait! haha)
And to be honest, those crappy feelings will go away, I promise. It'll take a few weeks maybe even months, but you'll start feeling better. Boys just suck sometimes, we have to realize this and not let it get us down. I agree with everyone above. You deserve so much more! Try going out and having fun! Meet new boys. Do a lot of things to keep your mind off of him. Keep your friends around as much as possible because when I was that age those girls kept me going. I hope you have a good set of girls to lean on
I also agree with Kimber and goochinator....Don't call, text, email, IM or anything...let the boys chase after YOU! You shouldn't be the one chasing after boys.
You have a lot of time to find someone...lol heck I'm still looking!
Good luck with everything! I wish you the best :flowerforyou:0 -
Being in a relationship is not worth the pain of being with someone who isn't there for you. If he really cared about you he wouldn't be acting the way he is. So my vote is "cut your losses". It's better the be single & on the lookout for mister right than stuck in an unhappy relationship. Relationships take work & compromise & both parties have to be willing to give 100% or the relationship will fail.0
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Thanks everyone :flowerforyou:
i probably won't talk to him after today0 -
I'm 36 and still single and there's nothing wrong with being single! You're way too young to be trying to find the man of your dreams. Enjoy being young, hang with your friends, find out more about yourself and who you are before you let having a boyfriend define you and what you want to be. He'll find you and fit into your picture eventually! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
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I think many women have been through this at some point in their lives...dont despair. What you need to realize is that if a guy is really into you...then that's just it...he's really into you.
PLEASE, I beg of you, read a book called HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. This book is a huge eye opener and in my years of dating toads and lizards, it totally made me see the light.
The title may sound harsh, but I assure you its not. Its basically saying if a guy doesnt call you , date you, love you, be faithful to you then its time to move on. Only we can prevent others from ripping our hearts out, by playing it smart! There are 10,000,000 excuses out there for why a guy doesnt do XYZ, but in the end, if he's into you, wants to be with you, its more than obvious and you will never have to wonder.
Kimber is right too- the more you call, text, chase after him the more desperate you seem. Stop all action immediately! Let him come to you!
Dont waste your time on someone who plays games. Its not worth it. Instead get into your own life. Dont wait around for someone else to make you happy. If you are not 100% happy in your life, or close to it, then a man isnt going to change much. Do things you like to do...get into sports, crafts, hobbies, whatever!
^
Best advice ever!0 -
You totally deserve someone who respects you way more than this guy does.
Good ones are out there, even if they seem rare.
Just don't get so hung up on NEEDING one... you don't, you can totally function without a guy (despite your friends great luck... you are no less of a person for not having one).
Heck, it took me.... 6 years to find my ideal match... and we aren't totally matchy-matchy (we have some major goals in common but are very different on an individual level).... as a matter of fact there are a few days I want to punch him in the head.
:flowerforyou:
You'll be okay.0 -
If you spend all your time looking for someone else, you'll never find yourself. Just be single. Stop trying to please others. Do things YOU like that make YOU feel good. Be selfish while you still can. Relationships take a lot of work.0
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There are a bazillion guys out there with exactly the same interests that you have. There are 100 great guys out there for every loser who strings you along on the internet and dumps you when someone else's avatar looks better...
By calling him, pursuing him...begging him...you're giving him all of the power and basically giving him the permission slip to treat you badly--like he can throw you away because you'll always be there to beg him to take you back. Pining away over him as he's busy being the internet "player" does nothing to forward YOUR goals, YOUR life, YOUR needs, YOUR happiness.
Clean break. No communication whatsoever. It's doable, not always easy, but doable.
Start fresh. Be alone for a little while to get your head around what YOU want and need...then...begin again with a new set of rules for what you'll accept and what you won't.
Oh...and if it's not obvious already...dump his stupid butt. He's not that into you if he's got someone else he's parading around...so why should you be into him?0 -
Try not to feel so defeated. :ohwell: I'm 26 and was single for 3-4 years before I met the most wonderful man just this year. It will happen for you, don't give up.0
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Break up with him. Worhtless guys always want what they can't have. The good ones (there are TONS out there) will find you. I didn't date or anything until I met my husband. And yes, it was online. I left NC to get married, and I've had the best time of my life since than.what sucks is he likes the exact same stuff i do. He's one of the few who has the same addiction to horror movies as i do. He even got me Robert Englund's autograph and i got to talk to Jason Mewes when he was at a Nightmare On Elm Street convention. He even had robert leave me a voicmail. It was definatly all real too :frown:
I FORCED him to become friends with my friends, and to call my dad and mom on a regular basis. My fam and friends LOVE him.
You are young and have all kinds of time. Dump him, before he dumps you and go find someone worthty of your goddess like personality!! :flowerforyou:
BTW..He's Just Not That Into You? Best book EVER!!!!0 -
I always told my kids to "enjoy being single, you have the rest of your life to be married". I totally agree with tabsoda's reply. I would also add "Choose to rise...Don't Settle...and go for your dreams!!! And most of all let God lead you in everything you do". Believe me, having someone in your life does not mean you will not be lonely. I was married for 25 years to my late husband and for many years of that marriage I was lonely. Being lonely in a marriage is far worse than being lonely as a single. Develop a good group of friends to hang with. I am married again and for the past 11 years, I have never been lonely and I am having the time of my life. Your best predictor for future behavior is past behavior. Remind yourself, you are a good person and deserve a good person - I assure you they are out there if you look in the right places.0
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You are only 21! You have plenty of time to find Mr. Right.
I try to tell my 22 yr old daughter all the time, you don't HAVE TO HAVE A MAN!!!
Be proud to be independent and taking care of yourself first!!
When the time is right he will come along, just quit trying so hard!
Memaw0 -
I'm sorry you are going through this it's tough I know. If it helpe I'm married and sometimes wish I was single! ha ha.0
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From a male pespective. "Dump his azz"
You've known him for a few years. He has made it clear that your not the one and only in his life.
You've caught his comments on a myspace page and guarentee he's probably talking to many other females that your not aware about.
As other's said, if you txt him, call him. He'll take that as a sign of "weakness" , msg you and tell you some lies, and some excuses that he misses you, loves you, etc, etc..
So that he can "pull you back in again".
Don't take offense, but some men out there like woman that are "easy" or have no self confidence and they will manipulate them to their own selfiishness.
There's many people who would love to be single, but they are in abusive, (emotional and physical) relationships. Some cant' go out and have fun because of their partner, possibly kids, need babysitters, and don't have money. Not always greener on the other side of the fence.
Like songbyrdsweet said. Enjoy being single, being selfish and enjoy stuff that you want to do .:flowerforyou:
Your 21 and have lots of time to meet someone, as the saying goes.. "when you least expect it"0 -
She got pregnant and he still stood by her.
Am I the only one bothered by this? I know it is hard to understand the emotion behind a post but this comes across to me as if she is lucky he stood beside her.
I know you are young and it doesn't sound to me like you have ever been with a man who is worthy of you and I think you need to work on your self confidence. Some of the advice given by other has been great. You deserve to be with a man who worships you and nothing less is ok. BUT it will take time to find that guy, when the time is right it will happen. In the meantime, don't be in a rush to get into a relationship, instead take this time to work on yourself.
Also, I think this guy you are talking about is a low life and is playing you. You may have some things in common, but did you stop to think that he may be over exaggerating what you have in common to take advantage of you? He is a player and you need to kick him to the curb, now. I don't care what he says to try to keep you. Actions speak louder than words.
I hope I am not being too harsh but I am really concerned. Have the confidence to know you deserve more and accept nothing less.Your spouse should make you feel great about yourself, not cause you pain or doubt.
I found my husband after having been in a bad relationship. I had just been dumped and decided that I was worth more and was going to swear off men for a while. It wasn't long after I stopped looking for love that it found me. How do I know he is the one? The small ways he shows how much I mean to him. One example is that sometimes when I am having a bath, before I get out he warms up a towel for me in the dryer and brings it to me when he hears me pull the drain. He still does stuff like this after 10 years together.
Good luck. You will find true love, or rather it will find you if you let it 0 -
Well said tab...very well said.0
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i wish my friend Hansen was still alive. He lived in NY as well and was one of my best friends. He was never ashamed of getting the really nice comments i'd leave on his myspace. We talked pretty much like every night for years. I know he'd def. would hunt Mike down and kick his *kitten*. I even told one of his friends, this girl Jenny he had known for years, about how i felt about him and she was happy that he had known before what happend. I kinda dont like to say what happend exactly cuz people have so many point of views on the subject. I drew a pic of Hansen one day and put in smaller lettering on the side "i love u hansen" . I know that some of u would say he may be the same but he never treated me like Mike has.
I have a pic of Hansen in my photos on here if anyone wants to see what he looks like (he's the good guy) 0 -
two words
Dump Him0
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