Rants

2

Replies

  • marlo87
    marlo87 Posts: 4 Member
    Dear Mitch (cat),
    Please stop attacking the other cat, its really annoying and tends to wake the baby! And please stop pooping everywhere but your litter box!:explode:

    Dear Creamy,
    Stop being such a scaredy cat and attack back, maybe he'll stop attaking you!:grumble:

    Dear Hubby,
    Your one and only chore is dishes, is it really that hard to keep up on??:angry:

    Dear son,
    You are the light of my life, but must you whine everytime i take a moment to relax??:heart::noway:

    Dear food,
    Stop looking so darn good! Your the reason im this big! :laugh:

    ok i feel better!:drinker:
  • marlo87
    marlo87 Posts: 4 Member
    Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!

    Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:

    Amen! :laugh:

    But we get yelled at when we put them on the floor too... AAHHHH What is a man to do???

    Dear closet -- I know its been a while since we met, but last time I looked you were full with the wifey's overflow of clothes. Why can't you be a little bigger so I don't get yelled at anymore? I was just doing what professor manlife coach taugh us...


    AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Thats awesome i needed that! lol:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • vrdz3215
    vrdz3215 Posts: 493
    Dear Boss,

    PLEASE stop micro managing me!!!!! I am a big girl and know how to do my job without you breathing down my neck every two seconds!

    Dear Other Boss,

    Please stop talking. Every other word out of your mouth is a lie or made up rumor...and we all know you are full of S%$#!!!!

    Dear Media,

    You SUCK!
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    hahahah

    Dear Michael Jackson (where-ever you are):

    You were a great singer. Obviously, the King of Pop. Thats really about it. RIP

    Dear Everyone Else (regarding MJ):

    Please, for the love of God, shut the hell up.
  • AwMyLoLo
    AwMyLoLo Posts: 1,571 Member
    Dear work,

    Why must you go soooo slow?

    Dear evenings and weekends,

    Why must you go so fast?
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    Dear work,

    Why must you go soooo slow?

    Dear evenings and weekends,

    Why must you go so fast?

    My thoughts exactly!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    Dear Zoey (my cat)

    Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?

    OMG that is so my own cat!!!!! He's 8 yrs old and has yet to puke on the bare floor!!!! I've even picked him up to move him when I hear him start his GAAAK sound! He looks at me like "how rude" and promptly moves back to the living room carpet to resume!:explode:

    Haha, mine is 7 and does the same thing. I once shooe'd him onto the hardwood floor and at the last minute he turned his head and yacked on the rug. And the ONE time he puked in the bathroom, it was all over the shag-type bath rug. Why cat why!!!!!!????
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    Dear Mitch (cat),
    Please stop attacking the other cat, its really annoying and tends to wake the baby! And please stop pooping everywhere but your litter box!:explode:

    This is my Smoky! He attacks his sister Dusty all the time and the hubbs is constantly screaming at him to leave her alone!!!

    Dear Creamy,
    Stop being such a scaredy cat and attack back, maybe he'll stop attaking you!:grumble:

    This is my Dusty, she just lets Smoky do it!!! Too funny!!!
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    This thread started a little too late, but I will say it anyway:

    Dear Morons in my neighborhood with no life, and probably no job who kept shooting off fireworks after 11p which is after the legal time for use!!:; KNOCK it OFF Already!!! :explode: Some people (me for instance) have to get up at 4 a.m to go to work!! I have enough other things to keep me awake. A nocturnal Lhasa Apso, and a Shih tzu who does NOT like fireworks and is not at all shy about barking his head off to tell me of his displeasure!!:mad:

    So GO AWAY to a desert island with all the other inconsiderate twits and blow one another up why don't you!!!

    ALSO

    Dear ignorant Neighbor-

    Thanks SOOO much for scaring the hell out of my dogs and me by shooting off fireworks within 20 feet of where we were walking. :angry: Even if fireworks were not ALREADY BANNED from the condo property, common sense SHOULD tell you to STOP when unsuspecting people and animals are near!!:noway:

    There, that's taken care of----until NEXT YEAR!!:laugh:
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
    Dear Hemi (cat) please stop puking on the bathroom bath mat which is surrounded by floor that would be so easy to clean instead I always have to wash the mat. Also could you stop sucking your tail and then slapping it on my while I sleep--It is so gross and I am sure you are the only cat that does this!!!!

    Dear Movie Theatre Popcorn,
    Please stop smelling so good so I can stop eating you while I work......
    Dear LowFat Popcorn,
    Why can't you taste as good as movie theatre popcorn

    Dear Hip Flexor Muscle,
    Will you please please get better so I can get back to running again I haven't for two weeks per treatment and I have gained 5 pounds!!! So get better faster!

    Dear Sun,
    We here in Maine have missed you for the whole month of June and part of July please come back from where ever you have gone it is summer after all!!!

    Thanks for this!!!
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    This thread started a little too late, but I will say it anyway:

    Dear Morons in my neighborhood with no life, and probably no job who kept shooting off fireworks after 11p which is after the legal time for use!!:; KNOCK it OFF Already!!! :explode: Some people (me for instance) have to get up at 4 a.m to go to work!! I have enough other things to keep me awake. A nocturnal Lhasa Apso, and a Shih tzu who does NOT like fireworks and is not at all shy about barking his head off to tell me of his displeasure!!:mad:

    So GO AWAY to a desert island with all the other inconsiderate twits and blow one another up why don't you!!!

    ALSO

    Dear ignorant Neighbor-

    Thanks SOOO much for scaring the hell out of my dogs and me by shooting off fireworks within 20 feet of where we were walking. :angry: Even if fireworks were not ALREADY BANNED from the condo property, common sense SHOULD tell you to STOP when unsuspecting people and animals are near!!:noway:

    There, that's taken care of----until NEXT YEAR!!:laugh:

    Might be a day or two late...but made you feel better huh????:laugh:
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    hahahah

    Dear Michael Jackson (where-ever you are):

    You were a great singer. Obviously, the King of Pop. Thats really about it. RIP

    Dear Everyone Else (regarding MJ):

    Please, for the love of God, shut the hell up.

    Sarge, if they drop the MJ story, they'd prolly go back to Jon & Kate......and that would make me want to claw my eyeballs out:explode:
  • vrdz3215
    vrdz3215 Posts: 493
    hahahah

    Dear Michael Jackson (where-ever you are):

    You were a great singer. Obviously, the King of Pop. Thats really about it. RIP

    Dear Everyone Else (regarding MJ):

    Please, for the love of God, shut the hell up.



    Thank you I feel the same...hence the media sucks rant.:smile:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Dear Zoey (my cat)

    Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?

    OMG that is so my own cat!!!!! He's 8 yrs old and has yet to puke on the bare floor!!!! I've even picked him up to move him when I hear him start his GAAAK sound! He looks at me like "how rude" and promptly moves back to the living room carpet to resume!:explode:

    My cat is the same way. And he can't just stay in one spot. Nooooo, he has to move to different spots and puke until he's done. :mad:
  • AwMyLoLo
    AwMyLoLo Posts: 1,571 Member
    Dear Self,

    Why can't you at least be a little bit motivated to do your homework?? :grumble: :yawn:
  • DaniNei
    DaniNei Posts: 132 Member
    Dear Sun,
    We here in Maine have missed you for the whole month of June and part of July please come back from where ever you have gone it is summer after all!!!

    It wound up in Arizona.

    Dear Sun,
    Please leave Arizona. I hear Maine needs to see you right now. We don't need you or your 115 degree heat this weekend.

    Dear Renae (Daughter),
    Please leave your diaper on. If I have to clean up one more poopy mess I am going to scream.

    Dear Vacation Bible School Organizers,
    Thank you so much for choosing this week to have it. I can't wait to get up to the mountains where it is 30 degrees cooler and see my son. We miss him so much.
  • AwMyLoLo
    AwMyLoLo Posts: 1,571 Member
    Dear Cake Lady,

    Thank you for sending me home with 6 cupcakes and a tupperware full of icing. Thank you-- that will definitely help my lose 5 more lbs by the wedding.

    Dear MFP,

    Thank you for never failing to be a distraction from what I SHOULD be doing!
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    Dear Dillard's Sales Lady,

    Isn't the purpose of the dressing room for purchasers to be able to take clothes in said dressing room to try on the clothes. Why would ask me to try on said jacket in the middle of the store just because you didn't think It was the right size. THAT"S WHAT THE DRESSING ROOM IS FOR!. If I want to buy a size or two smaller that is my business. That is the reason you didn't get the sales commission.
  • injuneer81
    injuneer81 Posts: 122 Member
    Dear Hans Blix,

    If I told you once I told you a thousand times. I have no weapons of mass destruction

    Love,

    Kim Jong Il
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    Dear Hans Blix,

    If I told you once I told you a thousand times. I have no weapons of mass destruction

    Love,

    Kim Jong Il


    Dear Kim Jong Illl

    Those big grasses you wear are a weapon of mass deshtruction. You set earth on fire.

    Kisses,

    Hannnnnnns Blllllix
  • LivyJo
    LivyJo Posts: 355 Member
    Dearest Cleo (my oldest kitty) -
    Why must you be so fussy about the litter box? its clean! poop IN it! and those darn hairballs you keep puking up are making me sick. Be nice to your mommy and puke in daddy's office so i dont have to always clean it up.

    Dear Internet. Why must you go out on me every day at 1pm? And Comcast, why can't you fix it? Does it really take 10 visits, to NOT have it fixed still? Maybe it would be nice if you would give me some compensation for this outage, since I work from home and my company does not appreciate me being offline every day at 1pm. Dear Qwest, would you like a new customer?

    Dear bit&Hy work friend. Why must you be negative to everything I say? Do you really need to disprove or argue all the time? Its really getting old and annoying. There is being the devils advocate, and then there is just being the devil.

    :drinker: Dear weekend. Thanks for coming early! I am looking forward to making the most of you!
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    This thread started a little too late, but I will say it anyway:

    Dear Morons in my neighborhood with no life, and probably no job who kept shooting off fireworks after 11p which is after the legal time for use!!:; KNOCK it OFF Already!!! :explode: Some people (me for instance) have to get up at 4 a.m to go to work!! I have enough other things to keep me awake. A nocturnal Lhasa Apso, and a Shih tzu who does NOT like fireworks and is not at all shy about barking his head off to tell me of his displeasure!!:mad:

    So GO AWAY to a desert island with all the other inconsiderate twits and blow one another up why don't you!!!

    ALSO

    Dear ignorant Neighbor-

    Thanks SOOO much for scaring the hell out of my dogs and me by shooting off fireworks within 20 feet of where we were walking. :angry: Even if fireworks were not ALREADY BANNED from the condo property, common sense SHOULD tell you to STOP when unsuspecting people and animals are near!!:noway:

    There, that's taken care of----until NEXT YEAR!!:laugh:

    Might be a day or two late...but made you feel better huh????:laugh:



    You BET it did!!:laugh: :laugh:

    Now I have a new one--

    Dear Pepper (my Shih tzu)
    You KNOW momma :love: loves:love: you, but you cannot be a LAP DOG at the same time I am trying to post on MFP on my LAP TOP!! :noway: You are very cute, but your computer skills SUCK, and you are turning momma into a lousy typist by trying to lay on the keyboard while I am online.

    Why can't you sit NEXT to me in the chair instead of on TOP of me??

    and while we are talking about doggies....

    Dear Mai Li (my Lhasa Apso)

    I am glad you enjoy looking out the sliding glass door to watch the people walking on the path beyond our fenced backyard, but you don't need to be on high alert every time someone walks by. They are NOT burglars, just neighbors, and your barking and carrying on make it very difficult for momma to hear the news!!

    If only my babies could READ!!!:laugh:
  • kimss
    kimss Posts: 1,146
    I wish my kids would stop being so needy all the time, that my hubby would put the TP on the roller," he takes it off and leaves the roll just willy-nilly all over the bathroom" I get tired of looking for it..
    and I wish I could look forward to my "vacation", but it will be 2 long weeks of family, friends, eating, and travel with a 3yr old that can't shutup and 14 yr old that has almost the same problem. :huh: :ohwell: :frown: :indifferent:



    I wish I was heading to the Caribbean, or that they were..... I'd give anything for a true vacation, that involved relaxation and alcohol. A girl can dream!!!!!
  • injuneer81
    injuneer81 Posts: 122 Member
    [Ohhhhhh! Nice to see you again Hans Brix]
    Dear Hans Blix,

    If I told you once I told you a thousand times. I have no weapons of mass destruction

    Love,

    Kim Jong Il


    Dear Kim Jong Illl

    Those big grasses you wear are a weapon of mass deshtruction. You set earth on fire.

    Kisses,

    Hannnnnnns Blllllix
    [/quote]
  • Simplicity
    Simplicity Posts: 383 Member
    dear time.
    please stop i need some sleep.
    dear customers at work.
    please stop i need some sleep.
    dear fridge
    please don't ever stop!!
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
    Dear drivers who love to just hang out in the left lane, STOP IT:angry:
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    Dear drivers who love to just hang out in the left lane, STOP IT:angry:

    hahaha,no kidding. "your not going the speed limit and you have 5 cars up your *kitten*....hint, pull the hell over to the pu$$y lane".
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Dear drivers who love to just hang out in the left lane, STOP IT:angry:

    hahaha,no kidding. "your not going the speed limit and you have 5 cars up your *kitten*....hint, pull the h**l over to the pu$$y lane".
    Dear speed demons who love to bully everyone else. I like driving at the posted speed limit. In fact, its the LAW. don't get your undies in a bunch ff I pull into the left lane for a second or two, its so I can get past the old lady driving 5 miles an hour. Give me a chance to pass her, and I'll get right back into the pu$$y lane.

    Dear Whole Body Cleanse. I paid $20 for you. I have to take 13 capsules a day. I expect results, not gas and cramps. I need results, not embarrasment!:grumble:

    Dear Fishy, mommy loves you, but I can't chase you around the house today. I have chores to do and sitting in a corner and whining won't get you your way. We can play later today, you know, during YOUR bedtime. lol:yawn:
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    Dear drivers who love to just hang out in the left lane, STOP IT:angry:

    hahaha,no kidding. "your not going the speed limit and you have 5 cars up your *kitten*....hint, pull the h**l over to the pu$$y lane".
    Dear speed demons who love to bully everyone else. I like driving at the posted speed limit. In fact, its the LAW. don't get your undies in a bunch ff I pull into the left lane for a second or two, its so I can get past the old lady driving 5 miles an hour. Give me a chance to pass her, and I'll get right back into the pu$$y lane.

    Dear Whole Body Cleanse. I paid $20 for you. I have to take 13 capsules a day. I expect results, not gas and cramps. I need results, not embarrasment!:grumble:

    Dear Fishy, mommy loves you, but I can't chase you around the house today. I have chores to do and sitting in a corner and whining won't get you your way. We can play later today, you know, during YOUR bedtime. lol:yawn:

    Who said anything about speeding?

    Hey if your going the speed limit or greater, good. All I'm saying is...we all know people like to dork around in the left lane. Especially when you got three lanes of traffic. There's no excuse for that.

    Another thing that bites me is when people don't plan ahead when they get on the highway. If you get onto a highway and your not getting off until 10 exits down the road...move to the left and go. If your getting onto a highway, just to get off on the next exit.....stay to the right.

    Seriously, this isn't rocket science.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Who said anything about speeding?

    Hey if your going the speed limit or greater, good. All I'm saying is...we all know people like to dork around in the left lane. Especially when you got three lanes of traffic. There's no excuse for that.
    Everytime I get into the left lane to get around a slowpoke in the right, there is ALWAYS someone right up on my bumper, flashing lights, or honking. I do 65 to 70 mph! Somehow its not fast enough for
    some people. I hate the left lane. But you can't really win can you? Slowpokes in the right and impatient people in the left.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories