Overcoming an Eating Disorder...

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Replies

  • kaybelmore
    kaybelmore Posts: 124
    I struggle with anxiety, OCD, and disordered eating (I'm told it's slightly different than an ED because it's part of OCD, evolves more obsessing over eating the 'right/healthy/clean/trusted/ect/" food and omission of untrusted foods or foods i decide are not correct and less about control and weight) I do struggle with a poor body image and an overall complex of never feeling good enough.

    It's rough, support would be lovely.

    <3
  • imworthit
    imworthit Posts: 165 Member
    I too am trying every day. Some are easier than others but it is still such a struggle.
  • tkdbutterfly
    tkdbutterfly Posts: 14
    Yes, I'm currently starting recovery for my ED. I'm actually going into treatment sometime in the next two weeks. I'm all about being supportive of others in this struggle and I'm happy to be friends with everyone. I just deleted all my pro-ana friends on here so I would love to have a healthier community around. Good luck to us all, our struggles take many forms. <3
  • Rruni1
    Rruni1 Posts: 6
    I struggle with anxiety, OCD, and disordered eating (I'm told it's slightly different than an ED because it's part of OCD, evolves more obsessing over eating the 'right/healthy/clean/trusted/ect/" food and omission of untrusted foods or foods i decide are not correct and less about control and weight) I do struggle with a poor body image and an overall complex of never feeling good enough.

    It's rough, support would be lovely.

    <3
    My boyfriend has anxiety, as does one of my friends,and my brother has OCD. (I also have OCD tendencies, though not the full blown thing.) I'm sure that if you keep at it, you'll get to where you want to be. :]
  • Rruni1
    Rruni1 Posts: 6
    I went to the doctor yesterday and discovered that I have gained five pounds from the last time I weighed myself. I realize that this is probably from the weight training that I've been doing, but my ED is still like "It's five pounds. I don't care. You're a failure." And the doctors were trying to tell me that I'm incredibly healthy right now, but I only took it as a failure from there. I slipped back into the thought pattern of food being evil and merely making you gain weight, and that anywhere in the double digits is an ideal weight.
    But then, I went home and made myself eat.
    Because I am in control, not EDNOS.
    :D:heart:
  • emfilomena
    emfilomena Posts: 120
    I am, love. I've been struggling for years, recovered once (resulting in the highest balloon of my weight ever), and unfortunately relapsed. I'm scared to recover because I don't want to put on all that weight from my body adjusting to normal eating (even overeating at times)..

    I've been denied coverage for treatment by my insurance, so my only hope is recovery on my own. I went to a new specialist yesterday and I opened up a little about my ED. He doesn't want me losing anymore weight, but maintain. He put me on a diet (in accordance to my other medical problems) and I'm scared I won't be able to maintain it.. and I know I'm not ready to tackle this head on. : \

    I am against eating disorders though and try to encourage others who are coming in at low-cal numbers to lose the weight "fast" to eat healthier, get more fibers, healthy nuts and protein, carbs, and fruit and veggies in. Can't seem to take my own advice.. I am adding anyone who mentioned fighting against their ED though!!

    I'm also struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADD, and OCD (all diagnosed by a medical professional). My physical medical problem is gastroparesis, a digestive disorder. What can I say, got a lot of issues :flowerforyou:
  • jayne_mel
    jayne_mel Posts: 173 Member
    I've been battling anorexia now for 10 years with 9 hospitalizations and 5 inpatient treatment stays. I'm only now really startting to fight hard against this. At 5'10.5 I've been down to 104 and as hight as 141. I've really had to fight my *kitten* off for my current 114. Eds screaming at me for it though.
  • Changinghabits68
    Changinghabits68 Posts: 69 Member
    I have had an ED for so long but I've kept her locked up for a long time. I have always "looked" like my body was fine, I always "looked" put together. I have just recently started to "out" my anorexia and let me tell you, I was so topsy turvy with nerves and flip flopping last night as I had written in my blog post about all my thoughts and feelings. The black and white thinking, the trigger I am going through and how hard this is now that the thoughts have started again.

    if anyone wants to add me, I'd be happy to add you back, I could really do with the support from those that truly understand was having an ED is like. I am working with therapists in two weekly groups right now, but must admit, I only just opened up about my ED this past week, after living in silence for about 19/20 years with it.
  • pureperfection
    pureperfection Posts: 3
    Hey! I just wanted to write a little ad of sorts here. I've been struggling with an ed ever since I was 7 and I'm not only looking for support on here but also willing to give it. An ed is serious, its painful (physically and mentally) and you just want to die. <3 so anyone who wants help or wants to give it. Add me. <3
  • chammich
    chammich Posts: 104 Member
    You are all amazing to post your issues with food. I know firsthand that this is not easy.

    I have been overeating my whole life. I really think alot of it is my bodies chemical reaction to food. If I take one bite of something refined, I am doomed. I will not stop eating. I have learned in the last few months by doing Paleo that my body is so weak when it comes to certain foods. High processed carby foods are not my friend. Each day is a battle. I abstain from sugar, flour, and dairy. Staying away from those three things helps me regain some sanity over what I can eat.

    I have not ever dealt with anorexia but from what it sounds like one needs to change to view of how food is to us. Food is a fuel, like gas is to a car. All fuel is different and reacts differently to everyone. Pay attention to how you feel after you eat.
  • Emabo
    Emabo Posts: 125 Member
    Currently trying to self recover from bulimia.. to me it doesn't seem too hard, right now. I have no major stressers in my life and it is a lot easier to resist binging with all the support on here (Even though I have only had one successful day so far..). I am just worried when I start school back up how I will be able to handle it. I know it is hard, but you can make it. I added you.
  • dancin2011
    dancin2011 Posts: 92 Member
    Yes, I am recovering from many years of severe anorexia and bulimia. Do not listen to anything your e.d. tells you! It's all lies and the more times you fight that voice, the less power you give it.
  • Kristen34w
    Kristen34w Posts: 13 Member
    I am here too. Glad to know we aren't alone!
  • littleline9
    littleline9 Posts: 15
    YES. Thank you for posting this. I recovered from anorexia a little over a year ago and struggled from EDNOS for a long time after that; for me it's so difficult to find a balance between not-giving-a-crap and micromanaging. The concept of netting 1260 calories to LOSE weight is still a hard one for me to accept! For what I once thought of as 'binging' to qualify as dieting. I'm trying really hard to stay healthy but it's insanely difficulty to not over-restrict.
  • Changinghabits68
    Changinghabits68 Posts: 69 Member
    Just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing? Anyone still out there?
  • cior
    cior Posts: 133 Member
    I have! I struggled with it in grade school and didn't stop self abusing myself with food or other harmful ways until a couple years ago! I'm more than glad to be doing it the healthy way. I'd love to be friends with anyone who wants to especially dealing with a situation similar to mine!
  • Redbird99ky
    Redbird99ky Posts: 305 Member
    While I don't have an eating disorder, I can vouch for www.therecoverygroup.org as a DEFINITE help for people who want to break the chains of addiction. I am an alcoholic, and that website has DEFINITELY helped me work through the 12 steps with my sponsor by giving me additional insight that is not readily available in the two books of AA (The Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous, and the 12 and 12 - The 12 steps and the 12 traditions).

    Changing thought patterns can be difficult without help. Psychologists and psychiatrists can only help to the point that you are bluntly honest with them, and THAT is hard! I know, because I went to a psychologist to be treated for depression, and only told him what I thought was pertinent.

    I think that you will find alot of helpful people on this site, but some may not understand the cycle of addiction, and view it as just lacking willpower. If you check out the recoverygroup, look at some of the stories posted there. You will see some of yourself in each of their stories. I did too, and all I had to do was substitute the term 'eating disorder' with the term 'alcohol'.

    It wasn't until I started working with a sponsor, though, that I realized that I needed to be BRUTALLY honest with myself, and with him, if I was to succeed. I have been, and I continue to be, for I get a 24 hour reprieve from my addiction contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Thus, that rigorous honesty is a daily necessity, as is trusting in God.

    Six months ago you would not have heard me say that statement, ESPECIALLY the last part, as I WAS an atheist who despised the very idea of a god of any sort. God, however, believed in me, and He loved (and still loves) me enough to put the people in my life at just the right time to bring me to HIM Not only did He remove my desire to drink, but he completely lifted my depression, just in time to save me from myself.

    Please, anyone who is suffering from addiction, feel free to add me as a friend, and I will help you in any way I can.
  • hummus40
    hummus40 Posts: 72
    so hard to admit...
    then when you admit it...
    its so hard to deal with it...
    so hard to stop it...

    consumes so much of your life...
    so self consuming...in a totally awful way...

    i have been anorectic for over 20yrs.
    i am a mother of 5...
    and i am once again, in the "thick" of it.
    my posted pic on mfp was when i was out of the thinking pattern...
    it was when i was 30lbs heavier...and some say that i looked healthy in that picture, but I dont see that when i look at it.

    i look at myself now and see fat.
    and i hate that.
    but i cannot stop.

    so, yes...my heart goes out to you who posted this...b/c i wouldnt wish this on anyone
  • graelwyn
    graelwyn Posts: 1,340 Member
    I started my first diet at 13. I am now 36. By aged 18, at 5'11, I was 5 stones (70Ibs) and given 24 hours to live.
    It has been a constant battle since with restricting, laxative abuse (kidney failure 3 times and heart failure), self induced vomiting and exercise obsessions. I have phases where I manage to stop and don't even check the scales, and where my weight has risen to 140Ibs +.

    I am back to being a bit obsessed by the scale (started with a new relationship with a naturally skinny man), and having issues with vomiting in the evenings if I feel too full or bloated.

    I am trying really hard to get a grip and just find a healthy balance, and just maintain the sort of weight I am. There are quite a few on here, still totally caught up in their strivings to lose and lose and to starve. I don't want that. I need people who understand the scale obsession, exercise obsession, a generally obsessive personality and binge eating issues.

    At my worst I was living on half a rice cake a day.
  • CollegeGirl19
    CollegeGirl19 Posts: 101
    I've had a problem with overeating like crazy, but I never looked at it as an eating disorder before...
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