A question for the ladies....

Nope. My best friend is my husband

I actually don't have any close best friends. I've moved around so much. I would love a few to spend "girl time" with but it's tough. I have "close" friends via text messaging and some I stay in contact with from high school but that's it.

It's hard when you move around, and the older you get, the harder it is to make close friendships, I think. People get busy with their own lives and concerns. Friendships become secondary, which is really sad. Of course, it's hard if your spouse or other friends don't like your best friend. But that's another issue.

I graduated high school in 2010, and at the time, I had a couple people I called my best friends. As I've gone through almost two years of college now, my views have changed. I've made a couple friends in college, but none I really see myself keeping in touch with when we graduate, or as lifelong friends. One of them I've known less than a year, and she asked me to be a bridesmaid for her wedding...that was a shock! I said no in a nice way, but just don't feel THAT close to her. With the friends I've met in college, we occasionally talk or hang out, but nothing I would call a best friend.

My closest friends are still my high school friends, but instead of just one best friend, I find I can do separate things, or tell certain things, to only certain ones. One is more girly than the others and will do mani/pedis with me, one loves being stupid and silly together, another one loves my same shows and love of cooking, and one likes to do races as well. Besides, some friends it's harder to talk about certain things with compared to others. Plus, some high school friends have drifted away.

So, no...I definitely think it's fine to have different friends and not one best friend.

I had a "best friend" in high school. After we graduated, we both got married, I moved away for about 2 years. When I came home everything had changed. I really missed our friendship. We both tried, but we had both changed and moved on with our lives. Since then my best friends have always been men. Personally, I think men make better friends; the ones I've had anyway.

I have been blessed with fantastic best friends . I believe that the right one will tell you what you need to hear without fearing of losing your friendship. Like with any other relationship it takes work from both sides and some often do not make it for the long haul. If you want a BFF it should be organic and happen over time as you get to know each other and appreciate the differences and similarities . it is like finding that rare gem but if your lucky to have one it is a great asset . Many women though are ruthless and catty with each other to making the finding of a good friend is difficult and frustrating but if you are smart you can find some good people and you dont need to to have a huge circle just quality people . So if you wants to pursue that you have to open yourself much like finding a guy . LOL

I have always gotten along better with men and I married my best friend. Unfortunately, I'm getting ready to go through a divorce and since he was not only my best friend for so long, but also one of my only friends, it's going to be rough.
I don't think I've had a female best friend since I was a kid.

I personally have never had a "BEST" friend. When I was younger, I tended to get along better with guys than girls, so I had casual girlfriends. Today, at 28, I have close female friends that I can confide in...maybe a handful of them. But we don't talk every day, or even every week. We don't do girls trips or anything. We just care about each other and are there thru the ups and downs of life. But I wouldn't call any of them my "BEST" friend, by any means. In the adult world, with so many time constraints and responsibilities, I think it's hard to cultivate a "best friendship" the older you get.

Does every woman have a best friend or is every woman supposed to have a best friend?
I've had close friends through school and college but haven't had a really close friend or a best friend since college and that was some time ago. I have co-workers, associates, but no one that I would really consider a best friend. I ask this question because I talking to a co-worker and in our conversation she seemed so surprised that I didn't have a best gal pal to do "girl things" with like vacations, spa, mani-pedi, and just hanging out. Don't get me wrong I've tried to maintain the friendships that I've had but either relocation, change in personality ( they get so consumed in the men they are with or marry that they lose themselves), or our interests change so it dies off. I still speak to old friends but no one close now. What is your take on the adult BFF?

Even the girls I considered my best friend throughout my life (still pretty young at 26.) I never felt like I could truly trust them fully to let them in and know me all the way. Since I started teaching a few years ago, I met another teacher there that I consider my best friend and her husband is actually my husband's best friend now too. We are able to tell each other a lot and do the whole vacation and etc thing. With that said, I know how hard it is to get good friends. I have a few friends outside of this best friend couple of ours, but it's hard to find people who are on the same page. I guess I am very opinionated and liberal in many topics while living in the South it's hard to find likeminded people.....lol Thank G-d for my sisters because it helps to have so many of them!

It's comforting to know that a lot of other women feel the same. I always felt a bit like a weirdo. Okay, so I am a weirdo -- I just meant in respect to good friendships. :indifferent:

Does every woman have a best friend or is every woman supposed to have a best friend?
I've had close friends through school and college but haven't had a really close friend or a best friend since college and that was some time ago. I have co-workers, associates, but no one that I would really consider a best friend. I ask this question because I talking to a co-worker and in our conversation she seemed so surprised that I didn't have a best gal pal to do "girl things" with like vacations, spa, mani-pedi, and just hanging out. Don't get me wrong I've tried to maintain the friendships that I've had but either relocation, change in personality ( they get so consumed in the men they are with or marry that they lose themselves), or our interests change so it dies off. I still speak to old friends but no one close now. What is your take on the adult BFF?

I am exactly the same. I had a close group of friends at school which seperated once school finished. I had a few close friends in college which again kinda drifted away once that was done. If you are like me you're also bad at maintainng relationships from your side, thinking that people have their own lives to live and don't need interruptions from you constantly, meaning you gradually don't bother.

I would love to have a close group of pals again

i dont currently have a (female) bff, i would consider my boyfriend a bff (boy-friend-forever).. i do have close friends but no one i would get super close to and tell all my secrets to. for the most part i am a very private person and dont share to much personal info. at times it would be nice to have that one special female friend that i could confide in, someone that shares and can understand what i am going through.

I have a "best friend", my hubby. That sounds so cliche and silly but it's true. We never get bored with eachother and do everything together. Video games, movies, going out for the day.

There is a gal who is probably the closest friend I have but our friendship goes deeper than the shallow "bff girlfriend" idea. We don't go do mani/pedi's or any of that stuff. We just enjoy eachothers company and happen to share commen interests.

This has been an interesting thread to read. I have a few friends from grade school/high school, and we only see each other every few years now due to distance and life, but we can still chat when we do get together. On a daily basis now, though, it's only my husband. I don't drink and I never do the "girly" stuff, which pretty much leaves me out of most social circles. Interestingly, since my hubby also doesn't drink and doesn't follow sports, he is in the same boat and basically has NO male friends whatsoever, just acquaintances.

Whenever we see those "yard crasher" shows we laugh and say we'd be SOL because we could never find 15 people to come help us. We just really don't have any friends to speak of who are people we see frequently, and we are distant from our families, too. I'll have to find a way to cope if I ever lose him, I know.

Anyway, glad to see I'm not alone in this.

Here is my circle.

BFF "R" since 10th grade.
"H" lives in another city but we see each other every 3-4 months. I've known her for about 3 years. We connected since the 1st time we met.
My new friend here in my city, "A" and I hit it off 2 months ago. She knows so much about me (and I her) in the little time we've spent together.
Then I have "D" and "M" in my old city. I don't see them often or talk to them often but when we do it's party. They know everything about me as well.


I think it's very important everyone to have friends, the more you trust them the better.
I know women who have their group of 10 gfs... I couldn't keep up. I rather have my small circle whom know me inside out.

In my lifespan developmental psych class, the professor talked about how it is necessary to have friends more so when you are an adult than when you're a kid. Obviously, friends are important at any stages of life, but when you are an adult, your parents, siblings, or other friends may pass away, move away, or simply not talk to you as much anymore, and everyone needs someone to be there for them in hard times. Friends are what help stress go away sometimes. Hope you find at least one person you can depend on (man or woman, doesn't matter), good luck!