4-year-old Temper Tantrums... HELP?!?!?
Replies
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Some good advice...sending him to his room, ignoring, etc. One thing you should also be mindful of as well is the time at which you pick up your child from grandma's house. If it is after work (4-6 p.m.) this is the time of day where most kids are hungry or tired. Giving him a very small, healthy snack while you make dinner or cuddling with him on the couch for a little decompression time might help. He may not understand the physical needs and may be using grandma as an excuse for expressing his frustrations.
Just remember...this is a stage and it too shall pass. Then, you will be blessed to enjoy him in his teenage years (which is where I am with both of my kiddos). Ha ha ha.
Best of luck to you with your little one.
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Just my opinion, I am the mother of 4, lovely children, all grown now. The tantrums are obviously for attention and to play on your guilt for not always being around. Children are master manipulaters. Two of mine had tantrums, two didn't (the younger ones, guess they learned from their older sibs). They were put in their rooms and ignored until they could be civil and informed any damage would be cleaned up by them. Meanwhile, mommy cried in the living room, but they didn't see it. You can reason when they are older, but not under 6. You have to be stronger than they are and not fall into their trap. Good Luck!0
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Maybe his tantrums are because his grandmother's doing something you're not? I mean things like general spoiling, letting him do what he wants, giving in to any demands, etc. Kids aren't dumb, even that young. When they know one adult does something they like and the other doesn't, they will want that adult. Maybe you could talk to the grandmother about what they do during the day and what she does if/when he acts bad or does something you're teaching him not to do. If what she's doing or how she's handling him isn't to your liking, then talk with her and ask her to change because of the way he's acting once he's with you.
I don't have kids but I've been around my second cousin since she was born 7 years ago. Her parents are not together, her mother is still stuck in a teenager's brain despite being 35, so a lot of her time is spent with her grandparents, my Aunt and Uncle. Well they spoiled her rotten from day one and let her get away with a lot of things. When she went with her mom, her mom didn't put up with her behavior and the child threw temper tantrums, which stupidly ended her back at her grandparents' house because mom couldn't take it. She hates going to her dad's because he and the stepmom have rules (very good ones) and she doesn't like them. Basically what was going on was nobody was communicating about how to raise her or control her and she ended up with this attitude of "if you say no, I'll go to someone else who says yes. If they say no, I'll do it anyway." Only within the last week have my Aunt and Uncle realized how bad she's gotten and they're working with both her mom and dad to try and get her better behaved, and she's been given incentive. If she changes and behaves, in the summer they'll take her to Disneyland. If she keeps being bad then she won't go.
That's probably not a heck of a lot of advice or even good advice, but maybe it'll help a little. Believe me I know those tantrums and I'm powerless because I'm not the mother, I basically get no say in her life.0 -
Sun 03/04/12 11:36 PMQUOTE:
OMG!!! I'm too old~school for all of ya'll! NONE of my 4 kids EVER had a temper tantrum! They knew what would happen!
How did they learn what was gonna happen?
When you have a connection with your children and tell them what behaviour is acceptable and what is not! They also respect their father, me and all in authority.:drinker: PS None of them have ever been in the office, jail and are highly respected and successful in our area!
With 4 kids? Either we have different ideas of what a tantrum is or maybe your kids are robots???0 -
Hello xayekim! :drinker: I am one of those parents!!! My kids DID NOT throw temper tantrums!!! What I would do is if a kid would be throwing a temper tantrum in a store I would say..."You see that child??...You do that there is war!!!That child is not respecting his parent right now and I need you to respect me. You see everyone is looking at him/her?? That poor mother/father is totally humiliated and would you want me to feel like that?? People respect others who can control themselves, so that is what is expected of you." I guess it worked for our 4 kids! They are successful, have won national awards and are highly respected in our community!:drinker:0
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Is "Grandma" the mother of the spoiled younger sister? Just curious.
Anyway. Of course he wants to go to Grandma's house. She loves him, spoils him, probably plans fun things, never makes him eat broccoli, puts sugar sprinkles on his PB&J, and absolutely never, EVER makes him take a nap.
Okay, so I'm probably exaggerating... LOL But kids always want to go to Grandma's house. There's no need to understand it, he's a kid, Grandma is fun, mom makes him go home and eat vegetables and go to bed on time. It's perfectly normal. But is the tantrum okay? Absolutely not. You are letting him be a tyrant and disrespect you in a HUGE way with this.
When he is calm and you have some down time, I'd suggest you have a chat. Maybe even over a snack or something. Explain that he's a big boy, he can XYZ and ABC, whatever it is that he's proud of, and that he is no longer a baby. So he doesn't do baby things anymore like drink from a bottle, or pee in diapers, and he certainly shouldn't be throwing baby temper tantrums anymore either. And since he's a big boy now, and he knows better, from now on when he does throw a tantrum, the consequence is going to be (whatever you decide on). If he throws a toy and breaks it, it's going in the trash. If he breaks something of yours, he is going to need to pay for it. If he's the sensitive sort, add in that it really, really hurts Mommy's ears when he screams and cries, and it makes Mommy sad to see her big boy act like that. Emphasize to him that when he does this, he will be CHOOSING to have (whatever) happen. Leave it at that and move on to something fun together.
Then the next time he starts a tantrum, look at him and ask him whether he is going to stop it or not, because if he doesn't, he is CHOOSING xyz. Only tell him once. And if he keeps it up, act on your promise. You're giving him a sense of empowerment by reminding him that he is making the choice, but you are enforcing your authority by following through.
Consistency, consistency, consistency. Kids need and crave boundaries, and they will push further and further until they find them. Better that he find them now with your help than learning by natural consequences five or ten years down the road.
And it would help if Grandma would get on board, too, and give him some advance warning before pickup time... fifteen minutes til Mommy gets here, what do we need to do to get ready, what do you want to tell her about today, that kind of thing. Little kids do need routine, and some help with transitions.
Good luck!
ETA - As a mom of 4 & 7 year olds, I completely disagree that kids can't be reasoned with under six.0 -
OMG!!! You wanna talk about tantrums! I have a five year old that puts any kid to shame. I've had everything from books to cars, to food thrown at me. I've been kicked, slapped, punched, and bit. He even goes as far as hitting his teachers sometimes. We've done EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING! Time out chair, he throws it at you. Talk about your feelings by getting eye level I hope you have padding on. Take away his toys...LOL LOL LOL LOL we started throwing them away and he picked up the ones we didn't and threw them away himself! Go to bed without dinner? lol he doesn't care. No tv? fine I'll just throw a fit and punch you and if you still don't relent I'll scream until I turn blue and if you still don't I'll go back to hitting. Video games? Take them away and I'll bust the tv. I can't go somewhere? FINE after my fit and hitting you and screaming I'll attack my little brother. He'll hit his little brother for no reason so I spend 1/2 my day protecting his brother.
We've taken him to psychologists, Doctors, psychiatrists, pediatric specialists, case workers, sociologists, councilors you name it and they all come back glowing about how smart and sweet he is. He knows how to put on a good show and sometimes as long as things are going his way he is an angel. But just try to get him to do something he doesn't want and watch the sparks fly. Oh yeah and try spanking him and he will laugh at you and say "Not hard enough" Some kids there is just NO remedy and I'm sure people will say I just need to find what works. I was a middle school teacher. I know all the tricks I've tried them. Problem is he has a genius IQ level so he knows what triggers to push. He's not a sociopath and he won't hit people (other than his brother) for no reason. He just doesn't know how to deal with frustration. Ignoring him only makes it escalate. I know this isn't very helpful but I just wanted you to know your not alone! One thing that does work 'sometimes' is what I call prehappy. Pre-happy is when you tell your child how much you love them and appreciated them and how great they are when they are being good and then when they start windup you talk to them about how great of a day they have been having so far.
The triggers happy thoughts and sometimes can wind down a tantrum before it starts. Honestly with the fit about Grandma's the next time he throws a fit about wanting to go back I would take a day off work the next day and keep him home with me. Because taking him to Grandma's is only encouraging the behavior. Make him see that only positive behavior will result in positive results. Also if he is spending that much time at Grandma's he may need to spend time with you to remember who his primary caretaker is. He may feel like he is with Grandma more than you so therefore your authority is undermined especially if Grandma (as most are) is more lenient and more attentive to him.
Oh yeah I almost forgot we've cancelled Christmas before! He decided that (his favorite phrase) "I'm not going to listen to you!" and so on Christmas Eve instead of Santa bringing gifts he took them away. There were no presents under the tree for him. NONE! Oh man you would have thought a Christmas angel came down and touched our child after that action set in. For three weeks straight that child was PERFECT! Since then we've also TAKEN his birthday, Easter, and the fourth of July. He is able to earn them back through good behavior but he has learned that when mom and dad say they are going to do something they are gonna do it. It breaks my heart to do it but I would rather go through this than have something happen to him in the future because I didn't try.0 -
Sun 03/04/12 11:36 PMQUOTE:
OMG!!! I'm too old~school for all of ya'll! NONE of my 4 kids EVER had a temper tantrum! They knew what would happen!
How did they learn what was gonna happen?
When you have a connection with your children and tell them what behaviour is acceptable and what is not! They also respect their father, me and all in authority.:drinker: PS None of them have ever been in the office, jail and are highly respected and successful in our area!
With 4 kids? Either we have different ideas of what a tantrum is or maybe your kids are robots???
Hello there,
I am one of "Pamperedhen's" sons and my mother has been informing me of your interesting remark in regards to my temperment as a child up to today. I am pleased to inform you that I have not had a temper tantrum ever in my life. So, unless I am from an Isaac Asimov book, I am not autonomic or mechanical in any metallic way. I am human and have learned to control my mood through guidance of my mother. If you cannot believe that, then I am sorry for you. No disrespect, but whatever experience you've had with children is directly compounded by their parents relationship and guidance. Remarks like yours are what incite flame wars and are generally caustic and venomous. May I suggest you refrain from being on your computer when you are in a negative mood. The internet is not a place that you can just vent your frustrations.
Best of luck.
Joel0 -
I highly recommend you watch a few episodes of Supernanny, especially if you are unwilling to use corporal punishment as a tool.
By corporal punishment, I don't mean beat the crap out of your kids. However, we have had one hard and fast rule in our house that someone who does something that makes them a danger to other people or themselves can and will be spanked. It is a last resort for the most severe "crimes" but we are not afraid to use it if we must. Neither of my children have ever taken a swing at me and I know that they never will.
Because the rules are and were spelled out with follow-through from my husband and I, our kids are mostly well behaved. We still have some issues with our youngest with her temper tantrums and whining but she is slowly but surely getting away from it. We send her to her bedroom to scream to her heart's content. It is difficult sometimes but you have to let them scream when it comes to throwing fits. The child is not in control. You are.0 -
Dude girl, I feel for you.
My eldest was the master of the tantrum. This is what I found out to be the biggest mistake of time out. They have a full meltdown in time out, sit for a moment, and then leave. A little cleansing for them. What put a stop to my son doing that was I held him accountable for that time. I told him when I sat him down that the temper he was having was on his time. The time out did not start till after he was done. And for every minute he used having a squab he would owe me. First time I did that he tested it. So that was a full day of him having a fit, waiting a moment, then attempting to get up. Finding out he was not going to get up, and going into another squab. I did get all the laundry folded that day...very productive. Once he found out his time was wasted he stopped with the big fits. Oh, it took quite a few times. He was very stubborn. Put a headset on and pretend you don't hear him. That one is really hard if he can hit those notes! But try! Just keep an eye out for a runner.
Want to throw them for a serious loop! Look at them puzzled and shake your head and say ' what?....my ears can't hear you when you are to loud....they get to full of words and then I can't hear....I can't hear you if you yell...what?'. That will make them stop in their tracks...lol! They might try louder, but if you keep the confused look and act up they will get confused too. I remember when my daughter would get mad and stomp to her room. As she went into the hall I would yell from where I was 'Hey! Be sure and slam the door!'. She tells me now that made her so mad she was determined not to slam the door. Another thing that will confuse them? When they are throwing a squab I would draw a line around myself and tell them I made an invisible wall that blocks out their sound. Again..if you dedicate to it, it will work. Then tell him that once he talks low you might hear him. It is the look on the face once they buy what you are selling that is priceless.
Can you find a sub for a week? Going to grandmas should be the treat in itself. Grandma should tell him if he throws a temper he can't come back the next day. It's not mean. And then when he does throw the test fit, back it up and take him to the sub. Let him know before the fit what will happen,once he is done what is going to happen (if you could even pretend to call grandma and tell her he threw a fit so he can't come), and then before you drop him with the sub. Just know that if he is throwing this with you, he will probably be ugly at the subs. I would always tell my fam 'I would love to do.........., but YOU chose to throw a fit so you made the choice'. Before dropping him off at the sub tell him if he throws no fit he can go to grandmas the next day. You will even let him call her himself.
All of mine are grown. They have learned that they are the only one responsible for their actions, as well as the consequences if they make poor choices. Oh...and it has not hurt their psyche at all! These 3 people are not afraid to take a chance on what they want to do with their lives, or take on something challenging. They know they are loved. I have even had them come and thank me for the way I raised them.
I do feel for you! My oldest was a pill! Good luck!0 -
Dude girl, I feel for you.
My eldest was the master of the tantrum. This is what I found out to be the biggest mistake of time out. They have a full meltdown in time out, sit for a moment, and then leave. A little cleansing for them. What put a stop to my son doing that was I held him accountable for that time. I told him when I sat him down that the temper he was having was on his time. The time out did not start till after he was done. And for every minute he used having a squab he would owe me. First time I did that he tested it. So that was a full day of him having a fit, waiting a moment, then attempting to get up. Finding out he was not going to get up, and going into another squab. I did get all the laundry folded that day...very productive. Once he found out his time was wasted he stopped with the big fits. Oh, it took quite a few times. He was very stubborn. Put a headset on and pretend you don't hear him. That one is really hard if he can hit those notes! But try! Just keep an eye out for a runner.
Want to throw them for a serious loop! Look at them puzzled and shake your head and say ' what?....my ears can't hear you when you are to loud....they get to full of words and then I can't hear....I can't hear you if you yell...what?'. That will make them stop in their tracks...lol! They might try louder, but if you keep the confused look and act up they will get confused too. I remember when my daughter would get mad and stomp to her room. As she went into the hall I would yell from where I was 'Hey! Be sure and slam the door!'. She tells me now that made her so mad she was determined not to slam the door. Another thing that will confuse them? When they are throwing a squab I would draw a line around myself and tell them I made an invisible wall that blocks out their sound. Again..if you dedicate to it, it will work. Then tell him that once he talks low you might hear him. It is the look on the face once they buy what you are selling that is priceless.
Can you find a sub for a week? Going to grandmas should be the treat in itself. Grandma should tell him if he throws a temper he can't come back the next day. It's not mean. And then when he does throw the test fit, back it up and take him to the sub. Let him know before the fit what will happen,once he is done what is going to happen (if you could even pretend to call grandma and tell her he threw a fit so he can't come), and then before you drop him with the sub. Just know that if he is throwing this with you, he will probably be ugly at the subs. I would always tell my fam 'I would love to do.........., but YOU chose to throw a fit so you made the choice'. Before dropping him off at the sub tell him if he throws no fit he can go to grandmas the next day. You will even let him call her himself.
All of mine are grown. They have learned that they are the only one responsible for their actions, as well as the consequences if they make poor choices. Oh...and it has not hurt their psyche at all! These 3 people are not afraid to take a chance on what they want to do with their lives, or take on something challenging. They know they are loved. I have even had them come and thank me for the way I raised them.
I do feel for you! My oldest was a pill! Good luck!
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!! GREAT PARENTING!!! GIVE CLASSESS!! :drinker:0 -
Sun 03/04/12 11:36 PMQUOTE:
OMG!!! I'm too old~school for all of ya'll! NONE of my 4 kids EVER had a temper tantrum! They knew what would happen!
How did they learn what was gonna happen?
When you have a connection with your children and tell them what behaviour is acceptable and what is not! They also respect their father, me and all in authority.:drinker: PS None of them have ever been in the office, jail and are highly respected and successful in our area!
With 4 kids? Either we have different ideas of what a tantrum is or maybe your kids are robots???
Hello there,
I am one of "Pamperedhen's" sons and my mother has been informing me of your interesting remark in regards to my temperment as a child up to today. I am pleased to inform you that I have not had a temper tantrum ever in my life. So, unless I am from an Isaac Asimov book, I am not autonomic or mechanical in any metallic way. I am human and have learned to control my mood through guidance of my mother. If you cannot believe that, then I am sorry for you. No disrespect, but whatever experience you've had with children is directly compounded by their parents relationship and guidance. Remarks like yours are what incite flame wars and are generally caustic and venomous. May I suggest you refrain from being on your computer when you are in a negative mood. The internet is not a place that you can just vent your frustrations.
Best of luck.
Joel
Remarks like mine? Who's venting?
I was being lighthearted - I genuinely wanted to know how 4 kids never had 1 temper tantrum.
I thought maybe it was in the definition, cause I define a tantrum as a negative behavior that needs to be addressed. Could be a pouty face, laying on the floor, whining,,,, I would think that most kids would try out this behavior at some point in there young lives, someone corrects the situation (or not) and then the kids learns (or not). Maybe Mama Hen only counts biting as a tantrum, I don't know?0 -
Honestly, my daughter has NEVER thrown one. She's been sad or upset when she hadn't gotten the answer or action she expected, but that anger or displeasure usually blew over after an hour max.Too the parents who claim their children never threw a tantrum...
You are delusional... Either A. Your child deserves the child of the universe award. B. You deserve the parent of the universe award.
I spend a lot of talking time with my daughter and also lots of quality time too. She has responsibilities in our home that's "her baby" and takes pride in doing them and letting us know when we've also not been abiding by the rules (shoes not put in the closet EX.)
Maybe I'm just really lucky to have a good kid.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Sun 03/04/12 11:36 PMQUOTE:
OMG!!! I'm too old~school for all of ya'll! NONE of my 4 kids EVER had a temper tantrum! They knew what would happen!
How did they learn what was gonna happen?
When you have a connection with your children and tell them what behaviour is acceptable and what is not! They also respect their father, me and all in authority.:drinker: PS None of them have ever been in the office, jail and are highly respected and successful in our area!
With 4 kids? Either we have different ideas of what a tantrum is or maybe your kids are robots???
Hello there,
I am one of "Pamperedhen's" sons and my mother has been informing me of your interesting remark in regards to my temperment as a child up to today. I am pleased to inform you that I have not had a temper tantrum ever in my life. So, unless I am from an Isaac Asimov book, I am not autonomic or mechanical in any metallic way. I am human and have learned to control my mood through guidance of my mother. If you cannot believe that, then I am sorry for you. No disrespect, but whatever experience you've had with children is directly compounded by their parents relationship and guidance. Remarks like yours are what incite flame wars and are generally caustic and venomous. May I suggest you refrain from being on your computer when you are in a negative mood. The internet is not a place that you can just vent your frustrations.
Best of luck.
Joel
Remarks like mine? Who's venting?
I was being lighthearted - I genuinely wanted to know how 4 kids never had 1 temper tantrum.
I thought maybe it was in the definition, cause I define a tantrum as a negative behavior that needs to be addressed. Could be a pouty face, laying on the floor, whining,,,, I would think that most kids would try out this behavior at some point in there young lives, someone corrects the situation (or not) and then the kids learns (or not). Maybe Mama Hen only counts biting as a tantrum, I don't know?
Well, this is "Mother Hen"..:laugh: What I think of temper tantrum is the kind you see in the store...the child throwing themselves , kicking, screaming, farting
...the kids never did that ,cause, like I said before, I would use that as an opportunity to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what isn;t. I also reminded them that ALL actions whether GOOD or BAD have consequences to them and shape your future. I am sorry if your were offended by the way I posted and that I and my son took umbridge.:blushing:
I hope all will be well {flag":flowerforyou:0 -
The best way to deal with a temper tantrum: Shut the kid in his/her room and don't speak to him until he is done. By giving him attention or trying to placate him with toys or activities, you are positively reinforcing this behavior (even though it doesn't seem like it at the time.)
I get asked quite often how I dealt with my little brother Donny who is autistic and throws temper tantrums a lot, since apparently you are supposed to 'handle these children differently'. His thing was if he would get upset he would hold his breath, and several of my friends asked me what I did in that situation. When I told them I just let him hold his breath they were shocked.
What is the worst thing that could happen by letting your kid cry it out? So what if I let Donny hold his breath? The worst thing that is going to happen is he passes out, in which case he would start breathing again (which he never did, he barely lasted more than 30 seconds. :P)
Point being, let the kid cry, put him in his room, and don't take it personally. It's not your fault that he is having a tantrum, and once he stops getting attention from throwing fits, he will stop throwing them.0 -
If you have never read or heard of Love and Logic it is awesome!! As many of the responders have stated you don't want to encourage or react to the behavior. A "catch phrase" whenever they start to act up is always great so they know what is coming next. Like, "uh oh" or "so sad" looks like you need to go to your room (timeout) until you can be sweet again. You can also give them a choice if you think he will respond better. Example - You can either go to your room until you can be sweet again or you can help mom make a snack before dinner.
All of that being said, there are extreme and not so extreme cases.As you have seen from posts. Some kids are pushers and they will push to the limit (take away Christmas kid - I loved this!!!) and some kids (the no tantrum kids, just don't). Every person on this earth is different and will react differently. You will figure it out we all do.
We were ALL perfect parents before we had kids.:laugh: Mine aren't even 4 yet so I can't wait to see what's in store. (Sarcasm font!!)0 -
Honestly, my daughter has NEVER thrown one. She's been sad or upset when she hadn't gotten the answer or action she expected, but that anger or displeasure usually blew over after an hour max.Too the parents who claim their children never threw a tantrum...
You are delusional... Either A. Your child deserves the child of the universe award. B. You deserve the parent of the universe award.
I spend a lot of talking time with my daughter and also lots of quality time too. She has responsibilities in our home that's "her baby" and takes pride in doing them and letting us know when we've also not been abiding by the rules (shoes not put in the closet EX.)
Maybe I'm just really lucky to have a good kid.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are lucky! I also know you love her very much.
It's different when you are talking about 3 or 4 kids though, that's 3 or 4 little kid opinions and that many more opportunities for them to come undone when they don't get their way. Ever ask 1 kid what they want for dinner? Ever asked 3 kids what they want for dinner? - usually you get 3 different answers
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I have 5 kids and 5 grand kids and I am one of 9 myself . I also did childcare when I was younger to earn extra money, I gotta say Time out works best. ..... that is on the bed not playing in there with toys etc.....and staying very calm and quiet yourself going about what you are doing while ignoring any demands for attention.
I often made my kids sit on a chair and not get down until I heard a genuine " I'm sorry " .though I must admit my lot were pretty good on the whole
.If bad behaviour persisted then I would leave the child in the bedroom till DAD came home and he would go in and discuss the issue and sometimes a smack was in order.
But I did all so reward good behaviour too with something like a trip to the shops or the park .
a special treat was to choose either a drink and something nice from the bakery or a new story book.
Maybe a star chart will help you , I did this for a while where you can award stars for good behaviour and when a certain number of stars are won then the child gets to choose a treat doesn't need to be much could be a balloon or matchbox car or some stickers
I raised my kids in a small country town though and I do think that was a bit easier,
GOOD LUCK0 -
I also cast my vote for the "ignore him" when he's throwing tantrums solution. I know it's hard, but try and see how it goes.0
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Lol, I usually never ask my kid what she wants for dinner (my wife either). Whatever I made for dinner is what we ate. Not gonna say there was some stuff that my daughter didn't like, but funny now that I think about it, I don't make a dinner I know she dislikes.......................hmmmmm who's in control here?
Honestly, my daughter has NEVER thrown one. She's been sad or upset when she hadn't gotten the answer or action she expected, but that anger or displeasure usually blew over after an hour max.Too the parents who claim their children never threw a tantrum...
You are delusional... Either A. Your child deserves the child of the universe award. B. You deserve the parent of the universe award.
I spend a lot of talking time with my daughter and also lots of quality time too. She has responsibilities in our home that's "her baby" and takes pride in doing them and letting us know when we've also not been abiding by the rules (shoes not put in the closet EX.)
Maybe I'm just really lucky to have a good kid.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are lucky! I also know you love her very much.
It's different when you are talking about 3 or 4 kids though, that's 3 or 4 little kid opinions and that many more opportunities for them to come undone when they don't get their way. Ever ask 1 kid what they want for dinner? Ever asked 3 kids what they want for dinner? - usually you get 3 different answers
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Wow... I wasn't expecting so many reponses!
Thank you all SO much for the feedback and experiences. I will definitely make a list and try them out, and I'll make sure daddy and grandma are in on it so they can implement it as well.
Personally, I'm starting to believe in some of the "old fashioned" folks out there. My husband, who is 15 years my senior, is the most wonderful, kind, patient, respectful man that I know, and when he tells me stories about how strict his parents used to be, and some of the things they did to keep their children in line... it amazes me. As much as I try to refrain from, as one person put it, "corporal punishment", I am beginning to wonder if that's the key. Looking back at the older generations compared to the new... my goodness, the elders knew exactly what they were doing! LOL But I may leave THAT sort of punishment to daddy. I'll definitely try everything else first.
I like that some of you also mentioned praising your child and making sure they also feel safe and loved when they're with you, but also keeping in mind that they need to know who and how to respect. I think that's also key for good parenting.
You all sound like wonderful people, and I truly appreciate all the wonderful tips and advice!!
Love and Alohas to you all,
-Ihilani Kapuniai0
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