Yeah, but what if you LOSE weight?

Options
Mallory0418
Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was reading through another thread about whether your SO would be attracted to you if you gained weight. It got me thinking...what if you LOSE weight? Have any of you experienced your SOs seeming LESS attracted to you as you lose weight? It's quite confusing. What are your thoughts?
«13

Replies

  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
    Options
    I think everyone's goal should be to get to a place that makes them happy, not anyone else.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
    Options
    Nope, but my fiancé did make a joke saying, "You're getting too skinny now." I think as long as I get down to a weight where I'm happy, he'll be happy as well.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
    Options
    My ex thinks I'm getting too skinny. It's a good thing he's my ex.
  • grapenutSF
    grapenutSF Posts: 648 Member
    Options
    I agree with Rock. The other day, my husband looked at me in the kitchen, tilted his head, looked puzzled, and said "you're lookin GOOD."

    Ya, buddy, I've been noticing that for a while.

    This is most definitely for me. :drinker:
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Options
    I'm happy to say that my SO was attracted to me at my heaviest and lightest. I am a lucky person!

    If your SO becomes less attracted to you as you approach a healthier weight, my guess is that his/her ego probably took a beating.
  • whitneysaenz
    whitneysaenz Posts: 125 Member
    Options
    I think everyone's goal should be to get to a place that makes them happy, not anyone else.

    I totally agree. So many people lose weight for the wrong reasons and I think that plays a major role in why a lot of people gain it back.

    You should always get healthy for yourself. I've learned that is the only way for me to hold myself to the journey.
  • kelswg102
    kelswg102 Posts: 36 Member
    Options
    I sort of had this problem. My bf liked me when I was larger and was really difficult in the beginning, but I told him that I was losing the weight to make myself happy and he could live with it or leave. He chose to stay and has become a lot more supportive of my desire to be healthier.
  • jenniejoy07
    jenniejoy07 Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    My ex thinks I'm getting too skinny. It's a good thing he's my ex.

    he's just jealous :)
  • Chalesie
    Chalesie Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    My SO doesn't care either way and just wants me to be happy. But the think that irks me is when people say that I don't need to lose weight. Yes, I do. I'm about 85 lbs overweight and I'm classified as obese (by all the doctors, etc) so I know that I need to lose weight to be a healthier me, to reduce the chances of heart attacks and diabetes and to feel good about myself. I'm doing this because I want to and I'm ready. So whether someone thinks I need to or not... I don't care... I'm doing this for me so close your mouth...LOL! (Oh, guess I had some pent up resentment there...LOL!)
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
    Options
    maybe it depends, that comment applied for underweight people. i'm assuming that most people will say the opposite if your overweight/obese.

    i say if you go see yourself in the mirror, if you like what you see then i think it doesn't matter what other people says. not to mention that it will boost your self esteem and confidence.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
    Options
    My (soon-to-be-ex) husband found me significantly more attractive as I lost weight. I mean, I was 100 pounds heavier than him when we got married and am now 40 pounds lighter than he is. I'm also 4 1/2 inches taller.
    He loved having a "trophy wife" but sometimes you have to do something to earn that trophy.


    (Purposely written to sound shallow, but it should still convey that he didn't mind me losing weight. That being said, if I got scrawny instead of just fit and healthy, he probably wouldn't have liked that, either)
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    Options
    My ex thinks I'm getting too skinny. It's a good thing he's my ex.

    he's just jealous :)

    haters will hate
  • littlemili
    littlemili Posts: 625 Member
    Options
    My bf wants me to gain more. He probably has a fair point. I'm not happy with myself at any weight so I may as well go by his superior judgement.
  • monicamk1975
    monicamk1975 Posts: 298 Member
    Options
    My husband met me 40 pounds heavier than I am now, saw me through pregnancy and 70 pounds heavier than I am now. He tells me he is proud of me all the time. He has one aunt in particular that is awful and tells him things like, " becareful because now that she's thin and you've put on weight she's going to leave you for someone else". I want to smack her when she makes stupid comments like that, but her husband cheated on her and she's thin, so I know she's just got a ton of her own issues.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
    Options
    I think everyone's goal should be to get to a place that makes them happy, not anyone else.

    WORD. A supportive SO should want you to be healthy, no matter if that means gaining or losing weight. But ultimately, YOU should be happy with your weight, and if your SO isn't, that's their problem.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Options
    My husband sometimes complains that my booty is smaller. He likes big butts and he cannot lie! (or at least he chooses not to). I just remind him that it is now the same size as when we started dating and he liked it well enough then. He hasn't really shown any signs that he finds me less attractive though, other than the booty comments, which I suspect is just an excuse to feel it anyway.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    Options
    My SO has always told me I'm beautiful. From the time I was anorexic and weighed 95lbs and even when I was up to 170. He specifically tells me that he loves me for who I am and not because of how I look. With me and my self-image problems though, I never believe that he loves the way I look but thats in my head and I probably won't ever be happy with that. I'm working on that but I do know he loves me! :)
  • CosmicBella
    CosmicBella Posts: 195 Member
    Options
    I think everyone's goal should be to get to a place that makes them happy, not anyone else.

    ... This!
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
    Options
    I think everyone's goal should be to get to a place that makes them happy, not anyone else.
    ^^This

    My exhusband always wanted me extreme skinny and it had such a negative emotional impact on me. I quit smoking for him and of course, gained weight. I didn;t eve get fat really just went from 110-130 at 5'5" My size 0 jeans split in the rear and he had the nerve to say, when you get back in to the size 0, we will replace them. I immediately started smoking again. How horrible!

    So a year and a half ago, I quit again, for me! I gained about 20lbs again, my current BF never spoke a word of the gain, not even when I said something. In the end, I found MFP and did something about it, for me and he has been so supportive and positive. It makes the shame of divorce just a little lighter for me.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Options
    I'm happy to say that my SO was attracted to me at my heaviest and lightest. I am a lucky person!

    If your SO becomes less attracted to you as you approach a healthier weight, my guess is that his/her ego probably took a beating.

    I agree with this... my DH met me when I was at my lightest and he has seen me at my heaviest (this moment)... He doesn't care what I weigh as long as I am happy... And while I don't care what my DH looks like or weighs, I really only care whether he is healthy and happy... that is my biggest concern, regardless of weight or looks.

Categories