Parents: how do you talk to your kids about weight issues?

What I've seen that works well is the emphasis on how cool the good food is, and really, pay no attention to the candy at all. Talk about the flavors that would go well with the cool food, what spices would enhance it? Encourage them to help come up with dinner ideas that include it. But when they like the cool food, talk about that, give them attention when they pay attention to the things you want to encourage. It's a longer return time, but I think that in the end, it will help both of you focus on the parts that matter.

Thanks to everyone for all of the thoughtful answers. This is some great input. I will definitely not talk to her about "fat" or "thin", and will focus more on health. I found some books on Amazon that talk about the red-light, yellow-light, green-light foods (although I wouldn't put much in the "red-light" category -- maybe alcohol and caffeine, or meat since we are vegetarians). I'll try those, and also getting her and her brother more involved in meal preparation.

We do eat pretty healthily -- they've never had fast food (as mentioned above, we are vegetarians) but all the constant birthday parties, etc., seem to send a steady stream of candy, cookies, punch, cake into their little mouths.

Another issue that we have is that my husband cooks most of our dinners and he is not nutritionally saavy to put it mildly, although I've been working on him and he is improving. (Actual quotes from our dating past: "Sugar has calories??" "What do you mean, they don't have the four food groups anymore?")

I think she has a hard time figuring out when she's full, even of fairly healthy food, like enchiladas. Before I had kids, I used to have this naive belief that kids would just naturally eat what was healthy and would stop when they were full without overeating. But it turns out kids are just like the rest of us . . .

For my kids I tell them to 'listen' to their tummies, and the tummies will tell them when they are full. By doing this, they are paying attention to their stomachs, instead of just eating mindlessly (as we all can do at times). Just like when we work out with weights...if you pay attention to that muscle, and 'feel' that muscle when working it--get a better burn...wonky analogy, but hope that helps, lol.

Your kids attitudes on food, weight, etc. come primarily from the example you set. Kids have no preconceived notions regarding any of this stuff. We, as humans, are hardwired to like things that are sweet, salty, and/or fatty. If a kid is allowed to eat whatever they want whenever they want, they will gravitate towards things that are terrible for them if that is what you keep in the house. Kids have a lot more leeway than adults in regards to what they can eat, but if the food choices that you present to them are bad, then they will be at risk of being overweight.

YOU need to teach your child what to eat. You can talk with them about food, but what is 100x more important, and what kids will learn from MUCH more quickly (and this is not just true of food) is the way you act. E.g. I wouldn't say "I want to eat candy too, but I'm afraid it will make me fat." That doesn't sound like a healthy attitude to instill in a child. I would say "you haven't finished your [healthy food]." YOU define the causal relationship between things for your kids, so if you simply behave as if the relationship between healthy and unhealthy food is "I eat a meal of this healthy food, and then I can enjoy a small amount of this unhealthy food" then that will be what is normal to them. Once again, your ATTITUDE and the certainty with which you act is what they pick up on. Learning via language is something that we all do in different ways and to differing levels of effectiveness. We are HARD-WIRED to learn via modelling and imitation. Whatever behaviors you model for your children, they will imitate.

Also, listing enchiladas as a healthy food? We're talking about fried tortillas with cheese? That is pretty much the epitome of unhealthy food! I am confused... Veggies are healthy. Rice is healthy. Quinoa is healthy. Lentils and beans are healthy. Fried fatty bread and cheese? Not so much.

My kids love to eat and want to do it all the time because they're bored, because we don't do a lot of screen (tv/computer/playstation etc.) time. They are 6 and 3 and I serve up what I consider to be a balanced diet every day, in the form of 5 small meals. Outside of that there is nothing to eat, the answer is always no. I try to be gentle about it...

- the hungry feeling will go away if you finish your water and wait a bit (they always want more when they're finished)
- let's read a book!
- do you want to go outside?

One of my biggest "things" as a heavy person losing weight is reorganizing my thoughts so they're not all about food. There is more to life!! I want my kids to know that, too. There's going to the beach and swimming in the sea, making mud pies in the garden, reading, building with lego...so much to do!

It doesn't usually take long to distract them. Tonight my 3 year old complained right up until bedtime that he was hungry, but after books and lights out it turned out he was just tired and wanted a cuddle. Story of my life!! LOL

I am so confused by these kinds of posts.

Try to relax and just lead by example. Children learn what they lives. I remember my mother (now 75) talking about how healthy is was to have lots of different colors on our plate, and about how baked and grilled was healthier than fried and breaded. She talked about the fantastic vitamins in different foods and how they helped our hair grown long and our eyes see better. She taught us how to cook health dishes and we were so excited to be her little helpers in the kitchen. She even bought each of us kids our own set of measuring cups & measuring spoons, a spatula, etc. and put them in our own little basket, with a hand made apron. Her and my dad went for a walk every night with the neighbor couple about 9:00 p.m. and I remember my mom going to an excercise class after work back in the 70s. I naturally picked up those habits and taught them to all my kids, who are all health conscious. One is in college studing to be a trainer, one goes to the gym five days a week and the other is always experimenting to make recipes healthier.

Don't have junk food in the house. Snacks are either raw veggies, fruit or yogurt, or a special treat on Saturday night like fudge cycles or sherbet. At meals, we allow ourself unlimited veggies if we are not full, but no second helpings of meat and potatoes/pasta/bread, so we never feel like we are leaving the table hungry. I didn't buy juice, as I thought an apple or an orange sliced up was more filling and healthier that a cup of juice. We have always been water drinkers, and soda was a special treat with popcorn and a movie on the weekend. And we opted to eat at home so we could take a family vacation each year instead of the fast food Happy Meals. Meals out were (and still are for hubby and me) a special treat.

Hope this helps! I know raising kids is alot of work, but it really pays off.

This is what I do!

Great advice!

bump! very interesting thread!

I have an 11 year old... who does enjoy too much junk... especially when he is at his fathers...
but he also does make healthy choices... loves his brocolli and cauliflower... raw with a (very little bit of dip)

he is 5'2 1/2 and 105 lbs Doc says right where he should be...

but we must keep things under control...

I haven't really talked to my son about his weight, he knows he's "chubby" but he's only 7 yrs old too, I take him grocery shopping with me and I let him make some choices on what he'd like for his lunches and snacks. I now see that he's been paying attention to what I eat and he knows what's good and not good...instead of a Cheez Whiz sandwich, he'll want a cucumber sandwich. He picked out blueberries, strawberries and blackberries. He chooses to have multigrain chips with salsa instead of potato chips and dip:) I think leading by example is much more successful, at that age anyways! He still gets a treat once in awhile, but we all need that!

Okay, this is a spin-off from the apparently endless DisneyWorld exhibit thread. :laugh:

Parents, I would like your tips on how you talk to your kids about making healthy food choices (easy) and what happens if they don't (not so easy).

I have a preschool son and daughter. My son is super picky and very thin. My daughter loves food of all kinds and has a big tummy. She is higher on the charts for weight than for height, and her pediatrician said if the pattern continues, we will need to intervene. Well, I have already intervened by making sure she gets more exercise. And we talk a lot about what foods are healthy, everyday foods and what foods are "sometimes" foods. I've talked about why we want to eat healthy foods, to make our bodies healthy. But up until recently, I hadn't really connected the dots for her that overeating or eating unhealthy foods makes you fat.

Tonight she was competing with her brother about who had the biggest tummy after dinner, and it was her. I said, "Well, having a big tummy isn't always a good thing." When she wanted candy after dinner, I said no and commented that I would like candy too but I wasn't going to have any because I felt I already had too much fat on my body.

Not sure I'm comfortable with this approach though and here's why . . . I have never ever heard my mom make one positive comment about her appearance. And in high school, although I was 5'6" and 128 lbs, I CONSTANTLY obsessed about my weight, going on diets, joining Weight Watchers, etc. And it continued into college too. Such a waste of time and mental energy!

I am torn because I feel like junky food is much more accessible today than it was when I grew up (70s-80s), and that childhood obesity is much more of a risk now. I see lots of chubby preteens around and I know it must have been so easy for them to get that way. Example, my preschoolers have a 1-hour soccer practice, and the team stops in the middle for a 10-minute snack break (complete with juice box). Is that really necessary??

OTOH, I want my daughter to have a healthy self-image and not to stress out about gaining weight, and I want to be a positive role model for a healthy self-image.

I'd welcome any thoughts from parents who feel they have this figured out, and also any thoughts from former kids who feel that what their parents did was particularly helpful or unhelpful. Thanks!

First and foremost, being the parent you do the grocery shopping so don't buy anything deemed unhealthy. If you want to give the kids a treat then take them out but don't leave it easily accessible around the house. If they spend time with your parents or other family members then set the expectation with them as well. The good thing about them being young is that you have lots of time to start improving their habits; do it now while they're young cuz it's all over by the time they even hit the teen years.

As far as talking to them about it, keep it simple. The younger they are the simpler you should keep it. Keep it along the lines of being healthy, growing up to be strong, and having energy to play. Something like that.

One of the challenges my wife and I have is that she likes to negotiate with the kids on stuff, food being one of the items. Somethings you just can't negotiate because kids don't get the big picture and it's our job as parents to do what's best for them regardless of if they like it or not.

Ok I have two hats on this topic, one is I am a Mum of three, and the other is I work in School Nursing and am part of the National Child Measurement programme and the Healthy Weight, Healthy lives team for my area.

As a Mum, we did not have snacks in the house, my children grew up eating breakfast, lunch and tea (Tea is the name given to the early evening meal here in the UK) They did not have pudding/sweet/dessert after a meal other than on a Sunday, they did not have sweets/candy other than as a special treat, we did not have biscuits/cookies in the house, snacks were cucumber, carrot sticks etc or fruit. They DID have the occasional McDonald's, as a treat, they did have ice cream on a hot day at the beach, as a treat....they played out when it didn't rain, they all had school dinners, and they all did sport, and were in clubs, like Brownies, Football/soccer, netball, athletics etc, as a family we walked, danced, ran about a lot, and it is only in later years after they were all older, (My oldest is married) that I gained weight myself after my divorce....

In my job, I have lost weight as I felt it was no good me trying to influence and educate parents when I was not setting a good example, I am now able to say to people that I know what it is like to try to lose weight, and I know that it is easy to NOT lose weight, our advice is that WE NEVER EVER EVER tell parents or children to diet, we NEVER say fat, we DO say portion size is important for children, and that parents need to remember that a child stomach is the size of THE CHILDS fist, that they need MUCH smaller portions than adults, that healthy choices are good and that rewarding with food in any shape of form, or punishing with food in any shape or form is BAD, people often say things like 'if you are good you can have a sweet/candy etc and this is not a good idea, a child should not be rewarded with food. Time and attention is the best and only reward they need, or a treat like being able to choose a place to visit or a game to play, we encourage small and healthy changes, walking more, playing outstide more, dancing to music in the home if this is not possible, snack swapping for fruit and veg instead of unhealthy things etc. You don't need to discuss why, you just live more healthy lives as parents and the children are part of that change, they can have mcdonalds, just not every week, they can have sweets/candy, just not every day...etc

Enchiladas in our house = steamed corn tortillas filled with spinach and black beans, with a moderate amount of cheddar cheese sprinkled on top.

That makes a lot more sense, lol!

We always had family meal times together, and our children from when they were tiny all knew what proteins, carbohydrates and vitamins were and how important they were for our bodies (and what happened if you didn't get enough vitamin C - scurvy, or eat enough veggies - rickets). Snacks were limited, and usually not on a 'help yourself' basis. Water was the standard drink. Sweets, chocolates and fizzy drinks were weekend only. All 4 grew up to be slim, healthy young adults, who now take food and exercise seriously, taking steps to change if they find the scales creeping up!

My real problem, though, is with our grandchildren, and I know I am on dangerous ground if I interfere. But I see them helping themselves to a pack of crisps only 30mins before a meal is served, and then not being hungry to eat the healthy meal that is served, gorging themselves on chocolate at any time of day or night, grazing on sugar filled cereals in front of TV all weekend mornings. To be fair, they have family meals more than most, and some rules are enforced like not having pudding if they have not eaten at least an agreed amount of protein and veggies for the main course. And when they come to stay with us, if they come to me asking for crisps before dinner, I usually give them carrot or cucumber sticks, and they are NOT allowed to take food in to the TV room. And, because my son and d-i-l are both into exercise (karate and running respectively), the children are going along with them to a much greater extent than we ever did when ours were little.

So it is a little swings and roundabouts! But I still find it difficult to bite my tongue when we visit them, and my DH often doesn't, which can create a bit of an atmosphere! It doesn't help that the other grandparents see no problems in these bad habits, and often encourage them with lots of sweets and choccies when they visit. But they bring loads of laughter, so again, our grandchildren are learning different things from the four of us!