Has your spouse ever given you THE TALK?

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  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
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    I had this talk with my husband. I told him I love him, but that he needs to get healthy and lose weight. Not in those words exactly. Yes it hurt to say it, yes it hurt him to hear it, but if we can't say these things (respectfully) to each other, then who will?
  • jamfan
    jamfan Posts: 124 Member
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    I've been married for 8 years and have avoided the talk at all costs. I love my wife regardless. She was not a skinny mini when we met but has added weight over the years. She has given us two wonderful kids. During this time I've lost 50+lbs Gained it back due to medical issues & lazieness & am now down 35lbs over the course of 8 months or so & have a consistent workout program. I've tried to motivate her by setting a good example but it hasn't really ever worked. I've tried to get her involved in healthy activities too but nothing ever sticks.

    I've been successful when I've done it for myself. At the end of the day I'm getting healthy for me & I can't expect that just because I've been moved to do this for myself that I should impose it on anyone else. I don't think the talk would put her in the place or frame of mind where she'd be doing it for herself or be successful & would be another failed attempt with a lot of hurt feelings mixed in. I do encourage her success and good behaviors and try to be supportive. I also don't feel I have the right to say anything as marriage is for better or worse & child birth is something I can't understand.
  • maryrr88
    maryrr88 Posts: 76 Member
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    My fiancé & I are both at healthy weights for our respective heights (with me at the higher end of that). He is extremely fit & likes to be active when he can. I've point blank told him I don't want us to be the older, obese married couple - I want him to help me stay fit & active & that I'll do the same for him. I just can't abide the thought of us getting married, having kids, & letting ourselves go. Yeah, I'm vain. At the same time, I want us to have a long & healthy life together. So yes, I would certainly give my fiancé "the talk" if it ever came down to it, and I hope he would do the same for me.
  • maf66
    maf66 Posts: 211 Member
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    My reply to you, after reading others replies and your own responses is this. The man loves you, love him back. Now before I get a bunch of hate mail, please let me explain. 1st. Men are very visual in their sexuality, we Women are the opposite. So if it were me, and I had a hot hubby who I adored/loved/cherished, and he, very tastefully I might add, had enough courage to honestly say that this was important to him... Well, you better damn well believe that I would listen. Would my feelings be hurt? You betcha! Would I be feeling insecure? Oh hell yes! But I would HEAR him, and I would react accordingly. Because 1. I loved him and 2. I would want our marriage to succeed and 3. Because I want him to find me attractive and 4. Because I WOULD NOT want him looking elsewhere to get his ya ya's, if you know what I mean.

    You don't have to run or be a member of a gym to get in shape, you just have to move! :flowerforyou:
  • bambee2013
    bambee2013 Posts: 49 Member
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    YES, I HAD THE TALK LAST WEEK. WAS NOT PLEASANT. I TOOK IT ALL THE WRONG WAY. AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT, I DO NOT HAVE AS MUCH ENERGY WHEN I DO NOT WORK OUT AND EAT RIGHT. THE TIME IS GOING TO CHANGE HERE IN CALIFORNIA THIS WEEKEND, AND THAT MOTIVATES ME TO GET OUTSIDE AND EXERCISE.

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