Seeking Professional Advice

I would do approach #1 again but you should change your approach. Starting with "I dont want to get you in trouble" is bound to create conflict and put her on the defensive.

The best way to give feedback, in my opinion, is to state what behavior you would like to see rather than focus on past behaviors.

as an example
"if you find you are getting close to timelines and are worried that you won't make deadlines, let me know and I will help out whenever I can"

if that doesnt work, go to step #2

Maybe it is from lack of information, but I am not clear on how whoever does the team evaluations has not observed this behavior, particularly if it is been consistently the same for that many years. What behavior dimensions are expected, and what and outcomes is the team measured on?

I would agree with #1 then #2 if it fails, and here is why.

If she doesn't report to you, and it appears she does not, then you can only speak to her in terms of your concerns for the team and how it reflects. You don't have to like everyone you work with, but you must be professional and you expect that same professionalism. If she doesn't change, your only alternative is to go to the next level.

On a side note. The hostility and anger are techniques to take control of a situation. The angriest person is in control if the others back down. The best way to deal with this is to be a Vulcan (or robot or stone). Refuse to deal with any personal attacks, refuse to INTERNALIZE any personal attacks. Stick to the facts. Offer to help if she needs assistance in organizing so she can meet deadlines etc.(if you are willing to do so) Ignore the hostility and never raise your voice. It is nothing personal, it is purely a professional issue. Chances are that she will escalate. Remain calm and never rise, stay to the facts. It wouldn't hurt to have a witness.

My two cents and experience.

Honestly I think you have already done your part in trying to keep it at the lowest level possible, and to be treated in a hostile way when you tried that would be a red flag in my book especially since she deals with children. I would take it up. You have already tried and no one else in your team is willing to step up.

I would do approach #1 again but you should change your approach. Starting with "I dont want to get you in trouble" is bound to create conflict and put her on the defensive.

The best way to give feedback, in my opinion, is to state what behavior you would like to see rather than focus on past behaviors.

as an example
"if you find you are getting close to timelines and are worried that you won't make deadlines, let me know and I will help out whenever I can"

if that doesnt work, go to step #2

THIS FIRST ^^

I would suggest that you get the whole team involved either to come to her as a team with your concerns or to go to the administration as a team with your concerns.

If your team is not willing to come together to confront an issue that obviously affects all of you, I would consider going to the administration and suggesting that you have lost confidence in your ability to function within this team and explain to them your concerns.

If all else fails...I know a guy...
[/quote

THEN THIS ^^^

I would really push the first response though. Problem solving withing the team would be the best solution. Remember your goal when presenting the conflict and take your ego out of the equation. You just want everyone to turn things in on time.

Otherwise, that guy that Swanny knows......................

Good luck!

I would suggest that you get the whole team involved either to come to her as a team with your concerns or to go to the administration as a team with your concerns.

If your team is not willing to come together to confront an issue that obviously affects all of you, I would consider going to the administration and suggesting that you have lost confidence in your ability to function within this team and explain to them your concerns.

If all else fails...I know a guy...

I agree...I think this is excellent advice

As some one that has worked in HR and owned my own business, I suggest documenting all of the facts about this person and giving it to the administration.

When a person is hostile and not open to criticism, there is nothing you can do that is going to help her or change her, period. Change happens over time, it happens when someone actually realizes they are wrong by having to suffer consequences for their actions. People with her type of attitude will refuse to take direction or advice from someone that they feel is on their same level, justifying their behavior and the other persons advice can be perceived as jealousy.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. Having the idea that we can change people actually is a little bit of our own ego coming into play. I say turn it over and let it go. Trust me, there is nothing that can be gained by chewing on this. Toxic people breed a toxic environment, it is your responsibility to let the powers that be know.

Im with everyone here.........I think number one is the answer. Try it again, tell her how you feel, and if you are met with the same hostility, then you ought to get someone else involved. In saying that, I think its also a good idea, if you are met with hostility, to tell her so. Maybe she doesn't know she is being hostile to begin with. For me, sometimes I can misrepresent myself as being defensive, when I am not. Often times, when people are strong willed and really do think that their opinion of a certain situation is the right one no matter the evidence against it, it comes across as being "defensive" or "hostile". So I'd ask her why she's deciding to get so worked up over something that you are only trying to help her with. Maybe from a little understanding of how she feels might open her up to wanting to understand where you are coming from as well.

If all else fails, have an administrator be in the room, in the background where he/she can't be seen by the person, and talk to her so that they--the administrator--gets an idea of exactly what sort of hostile personality you are trying to work with. That way, they know about the situation first hand and see what it is like working with someone like that so when you go to complain later on OR when the subject comes up again, they know what you are dealing with.

Good morning!

I'm a teacher, and we team teach. I've been dealing with the same issue (with the same coworker) for about 3 years now. We have a yearly evaluation to confirm whether or not we are doing our job correctly. If we do not receive a satisfactory evaluation, we are not offered a contract for the next year. Part of our evaluation considers how well we work with our team.

This team member consistently does not meet deadlines, turn things in on time, etc., and it reflects badly on the team. When one of us is not upholding our duties, we all look bad. She has a very strong personality, and everyone on our team is afraid to "speak up" about it to her. I have approached her about it in the past, with a very nice attitude (i.e. "I really don't want you to get in trouble for this; trying to help you out"), and she has responded in a very hostile way, with zero change to the situation.

I feel the issue needs to be taken care of. Which do you think would be more professional, and why?

1. Approach her yet again, and run the risk of her being hostile/starting an argument/being angry with the team.

2. Make our administrators aware of it. (I really don't want to be a tattle, though.)


Thank you for your help!

Straight up: that person feels they are doing fine. You NEED to lay it out straight, but make sure you have ample backup of all the issues that's been ongoing. Unless you have evidence to back it, it will be just argumentative. It's hard to argue against if your concerns have the evidence to back it. Then you flat out have to say that it can't be tolerated anymore and if they are unwilling to fix the problem, you can get someone else that will.
It's not personal, it's business.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

We had this issue on my team last year. One person was constantly not doing her part and refused to hear anything anyone else had to say. I tried 4 or 5 times to address the issues that were impacting our team during our meetings and it failed each time. As the team leader, I asked our administrator to sit in on our next team meeting, so we could work it out with a neutral party. I would be willing to bet that your administrator already knows about the issues. They seem to have eyes and ears everywhere. It was not to get anyone in trouble, but it needed to be addressed with a neutral party there because the "weak link" refused to listen to us (she ended up telling on herself with her attitude and refusal to listen to the rest of us). It fixed the problem for the remainder of the year and the person with the issue was moved to a different grade level (where they did not team teach).

Good luck! I wouldn't want to be a tattle either, but sometimes it's necessary especially when it directly impacts your students.