New runners who don't want to be seen

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  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I hope I never see someone running in the cemetary where my son is buried. It won't be a nice encounter they'll have with me. Cemetaries are sacred places. As someone who's recently buried her only child, I would be beyond hurt...I'd be infuriated, by such misuse of the ground where my boy is buried. It's pretty petty and selfish to be more concerned about what people are thinking when they see you run in other places, than concerned about the feelings of those who grieve.

    I am very sorry for your loss. I meant no disrespect to anyone by mentioning this. I still do not believe it is a problem though. I'm walking or running on the paths, not the grassy areas. And anytime I do spot someone visiting a grave, I always take a detour to give them space. Aside from burial, most cemeteries are meant to be open spaces and were originally used as parks as another poster mentioned. Taking a quiet, peaceful walk or run in such a space is not meant to insult or harm anyone.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    I hope I never see someone running in the cemetary where my son is buried. It won't be a nice encounter they'll have with me. Cemetaries are sacred places. As someone who's recently buried her only child, I would be beyond hurt...I'd be infuriated, by such misuse of the ground where my boy is buried. It's pretty petty and selfish to be more concerned about what people are thinking when they see you run in other places, than concerned about the feelings of those who grieve.

    My Dad is buried in a giant cemetary. I wouldn't take issue with anyone I saw running on those cemetary roads. I would never jump to judgment and if I do park on the main road and run in to visit Dad - I wouldn't like getting crap about it from some stranger in the same cemetary. My Dad would be happy I ran in there. I don't see it as disrespectful at all. No one is running on anyone's grave. They're roads... people drive on them because they don't even want to walk to a grave site. It's no different to me than running next to graves that happen to be located next to main drag.
  • mmsilvia
    mmsilvia Posts: 459 Member
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    I sometimes find myself running in cemetaries too. I love how peaceful they are.

    It's also a great place to learn to ride a bike. I taught my niece how to ride her first 'big girl' bike in a cemetary.
  • gtwin
    gtwin Posts: 290 Member
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    This is exactly why I run in the Cardio Cinema at Gold's.....it's completely dark and there's a movie on to distract you. Love it!
  • remembertheharddrive
    remembertheharddrive Posts: 133 Member
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    Noting that Boston is in the background of the OPs photo, which I where I'm from also, I know exactly the kind of cemeteries around here that are appropriate to run in and visit for a relaxing walk. They hold festivals and other events at these places. They are historical and treated as such, visitors encouraged. Scattered with art, memorials to famous artists, writers, and other figures.

    http://www.foresthillscemetery.com/
    http://www.mountauburn.org/

    I assume that this is the sort of places with miles of winding, stunning roads, gardens and sculptures that provide a beautiful, relaxing atmosphere. I always have seen running as almost a form of meditation and these types of places, the peacefulness and beauty, being alone, the perfect place to run.
  • CauseyMac
    CauseyMac Posts: 11 Member
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    [[/quote]

    I am very sorry for your loss. I meant no disrespect to anyone by mentioning this. I still do not believe it is a problem though. I'm walking or running on the paths, not the grassy areas. And anytime I do spot someone visiting a grave, I always take a detour to give them space. Aside from burial, most cemeteries are meant to be open spaces and were originally used as parks as another poster mentioned. Taking a quiet, peaceful walk or run in such a space is not meant to insult or harm anyone.
    [/quote]

    Thank you for your condolences. However, a cemetary is not a public park....not the one where my son is buried. It is inside a fence behind a church. I cannot think of another cemetary I have ever visited that is a park. They may exist, but they are outside the scope of my experience and I would never choose to intern my loved one in a public park.

    I am sharing my feelings as bereaved mother and, after all, aren't cemetaries, funerals, etc., all meant to comfort the bereaved ?
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    I hope I never see someone running in the cemetary where my son is buried. It won't be a nice encounter they'll have with me. Cemetaries are sacred places. As someone who's recently buried her only child, I would be beyond hurt...I'd be infuriated, by such misuse of the ground where my boy is buried. It's pretty petty and selfish to be more concerned about what people are thinking when they see you run in other places, than concerned about the feelings of those who grieve.

    Seriously? Terribly sorry for your loss but I fail to see how running on the trails in the cemetary is misuse. This PC attitude is sad really. Mind your own in the cemetary and do what you are there for. Why would you even bother to take notice of others there anyway?
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 665 Member
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    Be infuriated if they run over his grave, be infuriated when kids vandalize the place or steal the flowers out there. Yes your sons buried there and that is tragic that he has left this world. However, lots of history can be learned from graveyards, the history of that town and the families buried there. I understand your still grieving, but someone running the paved path in no way affects anything related to him. Your anger part of your grieving process is coming out and your utilizing it on this board...I understand it, but the ultimate reality is he will not be disturbed and maybe it will keep kids from doing dumb stuff out there.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Be infuriated if they run over his grave, be infuriated when kids vandalize the place or steal the flowers out there. Yes your sons buried there and that is tragic that he has left this world. However, lots of history can be learned from graveyards, the history of that town and the families buried there. I understand your still grieving, but someone running the paved path in no way affects anything related to him. Your anger part of your grieving process is coming out and your utilizing it on this board...I understand it, but the ultimate reality is he will not be disturbed and maybe it will keep kids from doing dumb stuff out there.

    Exactly. I am also in the Boston area as is the OP - My Dad's grave is in a huge city cemetary with miles of paved roads. He was overweight and unhealthy almost his entire adult life. I know he would be so happy if I ran around his cemetary. If I ever saw someone truly vandalizing anything there, you bet your bottom I would report them. And again, If I ran there to visit my Dad - I have every right to be there and get there by whatever means I choose and if that's running, who is anyone else to say I can't? My running in there is doing no more damage than the person who drives in.
  • CauseyMac
    CauseyMac Posts: 11 Member
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    I am expressing my feelings. Thank you for noting my anger. How observant. I can't recall ever being called PC. What does political correctness have to do with anything we are discussing here? Wow. Great group. Fabulous support for freedom of speech and free expression of thought. Wow. Perhaps the X rests firmly on my back, today.
  • dbratton87
    dbratton87 Posts: 55 Member
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    From someone who buried 2 family members in 2011 I definitely do not see it as disrespectful. As long as they are quiet, on the paths, and respectful of people grieving I think it's fine. Lots of people run in cemeteries. Totally not an issue of respect, IMO and I can't find anything on cemetery etiquette that says it is in poor taste. I would actually enjoy running and reflecting in the cemetery where my loved ones are laid to rest and I'm considering it after reading this. Although, now I am worried about other mourners judging me and misunderstanding my intentions.
  • Psychoanalytic
    Psychoanalytic Posts: 261
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    *shrug* So long as I'm not trampling over someone's grave, being loud and annoying, disrupting others, etc, I don't see what the issue is when it's in a public cemetery. Everyone has an opinion though. What you find as disrespectful isn't to others and so on.
    Ever think that running may be some peoples' way of coping with loss? Everyone deals with things very differently. My way of coping with the loss of my best friend will certainly differ from how you handle the loss of your child. Same goes for everyone else and people they have lost...
  • LittleMissNerdy
    LittleMissNerdy Posts: 792 Member
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    I am expressing my feelings. Thank you for noting my anger. How observant. I can't recall ever being called PC. What does political correctness have to do with anything we are discussing here? Wow. Great group. Fabulous support for freedom of speech and free expression of thought. Wow. Perhaps the X rests firmly on my back, today.

    Aren't we all just expressing our opinions? No one is telling you that you're wrong. Everyone is just sharing their POV on it is all.
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 665 Member
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    I am expressing my feelings. Thank you for noting my anger. How observant. I can't recall ever being called PC. What does political correctness have to do with anything we are discussing here? Wow. Great group. Fabulous support for freedom of speech and free expression of thought. Wow. Perhaps the X rests firmly on my back, today.

    No one here is gonna say anything to make you feel any better, youre angry and you expressed your opinion which you are entitled to. As are those who are saying in a respectful way that they feel its ok to run in a cemetery. Your anger is obvious in your subsequent posts, as I suggest a grief counselor I can see you lashing out at that idea, which is normal and natural for this situation. Everyone grieves, everyones lost someone, we all find ways to deal with it. Lashing out at the people on here who have no idea where your sons buried nor have they stated they will be running in the same cemetery he is buried at is your defense mechanism.....in these times we look for someone to blame and be angry at wether it be ourselves or a stranger passing by....
    I think this post should probably stop after this as the idea behind it has been conveyed and out of respect for her recent loss lets just refrain from angering her anymore and let her grieve.
  • CauseyMac
    CauseyMac Posts: 11 Member
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    I'm confused. I lashed out at someone? I am angry. You're right. Anger is a normal emotion. I have not just "lost someone." My only child was killed in an automobile accident in the prime of his life, at age 23. Yep. Angry. No doubt. However, I have only expressed my opinion, which I have as much right to do as anyone else. If I have lashed out at anyone, please accept my heartfelt apology. I cannot state strongly enough that it is never my desire to hurt anyone, in anger, or for any other reason. I've only expressed my feelings as someone who, obviously, disagrees with the mainstream on this one. And, that's fine with me. I wish you all a peaceful day and much success in your weight loss endeavors. I'll excuse myself now.
  • carlie_carl
    carlie_carl Posts: 285
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    Its not politically correct to have respect for others :-/ lets start running around retirement homes, Ive heard theyre quiet and Im sure running around a residential area would be fine to . . . its about curtosy, just because people do value where theyre loved ones are buried does not make them politically correct, I have no problem with it, but, I do understand why people would object to it.
  • jenalderman
    jenalderman Posts: 411 Member
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    bump to read later
  • JanineHarrison
    JanineHarrison Posts: 164 Member
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    Noting that Boston is in the background of the OPs photo, which I where I'm from also, I know exactly the kind of cemeteries around here that are appropriate to run in and visit for a relaxing walk. They hold festivals and other events at these places. They are historical and treated as such, visitors encouraged. Scattered with art, memorials to famous artists, writers, and other figures.

    http://www.foresthillscemetery.com/
    http://www.mountauburn.org/

    I assume that this is the sort of places with miles of winding, stunning roads, gardens and sculptures that provide a beautiful, relaxing atmosphere. I always have seen running as almost a form of meditation and these types of places, the peacefulness and beauty, being alone, the perfect place to run.

    Wow, those look like beautiful places. If I lived near one like that I would definitely run there. I'm not embarrased to have people see me run, even as a novice, but I love running outdoors around nature. Combine beautiful scenery and a runners high and it makes for a very reflective and rewarding experience. For me, I would try to be as respectful as possible and passing by graves of all people, those that died old or young, would only help me realize how lucky I am to be alive and know that I need to make my life worth living. I would also make sure I don't interupt any "greiving in progress" situations.

    On a side note, and I'm really not trying to instigate, though it may be tough to think about, all sorts of things happen in cemetaries. The grass has to get cut somehow too, I don't think a quiet solitary runner could be any more disruptive than a roaring lawnmower and grounds crew. I can't control what others do but I can control how I let it affect me. Personally, I hold on more to the memories of those I lost, and since I am a person of a religious faith, I do believe that the souls of those people are elsewhere, so those things don't bother me as much.
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    I can't control what others do but I can control how I let it affect me.

    Exactly, some people need to learn to mind their own and stop being the victim. Go there and do wehat you are there for, leave others to do as they may, as long as they are not damaging anything.

    How do you know that the person running throuhg the graveyard is not running in tribute to aloved runner that they lost and buried there.

    Someone said "I hope I never see someone running in the cemetary where my son is buried. It won't be a nice encounter they'll have with me."

    How would you know why they were runing there? Maybe grandpa was a marathon runner and he is buried there. Mind your own business.

    Just like driving on the interstate in the left lane. If someone come up on you going faster "slower traffickeep right" You have no clue why that person is in a hurry MOVE they may be trying to get to the hospital. Put yourself in their shoes or JUST MIND YOUR OWN and don't be a burden.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    I hate people seeing me when I run. I always get embarrassed because I suck!

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