I got the 'are you pregnant' question

wedjul05
wedjul05 Posts: 472
in Motivation and Support
Got it this morning from a kinda work colleague. Head wrecking.

I'm having alot of stomach issues lately, think I have mild IBS and I've been under alot of stress lately and this is resulting in bowel issues. Hence my tummy is sore/crampy/bloated alot of the time. been going on for about 4 weeks now. I've booked in for acupuncture to see if this can help it.

So someone asked me this morning am I pg again?!!!!!!!! Eh no PFO. I explained as calmly as I could what the issue was.

My god, you don't ask a woman is she pg unless you know for a fact that she is. Hello???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Replies

  • babyworms
    babyworms Posts: 1,304 Member
    No joke!!

    I'm a nurse, and one of the other nurses i work with just had a kidney transplant, so she's a bit puffy from all the steroids she has to take... One of the DOCTORS asked her if she was pg the other day!!

    RUDE!!
  • psychopiglet
    psychopiglet Posts: 130 Member
    It's just a question. Why freak out?
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    I would never ask anyone if they were pregnant! It's way too easy to put your foot in it.
  • tuppance
    tuppance Posts: 132 Member
    No, never ask that question

    I was asked if I was pregnant a few weeks after my baby was born :( felt so fat
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70
    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it's rude and a question that basically says "you're fat" without actually saying it. I'd be offended too.
  • mimi10453
    mimi10453 Posts: 89 Member
    It's tacky! Never ask a woman if she's pregnant!
  • jjaj10
    jjaj10 Posts: 1
    Have you tried probiotics? I've heard they work really well for IBS.
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
    And also - you don't need to be fat to have the bloating associated with IBS. It's all about shape.
  • Gail3260
    Gail3260 Posts: 354 Member
    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it is a very personal question.......I have a friend who is desperate to get pregnant but can't and another who has suffered multiple miscarriages!
  • helbaby7
    helbaby7 Posts: 5
    ive been asked the same question a few times lately....and im offended...i hate it.

    But thats the reason i want to loose weight and tone up so i can feel better about myself
  • Trinketona
    Trinketona Posts: 190
    Some may get offended especially someone trying to lose weight. If someone thinks they are losing weight and looking better than someone ask that question it would probably make that person feel like they are NOT looking any better after all the hard work. Do you get it? or not?
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
    Eh I'm not fat at all thank you very much!!! I'm 5ft 8 and quite slim really. I just have a bloated belly for the past few weeks due to bowel/stomach issues. Jeez.......

    It's rude to ask a woman if she is pg or not, it implies she has a belly one way or another an believe me, you don't want to point out to a woman she may have a belly going on. It's just plain rude IMO. Even if you are pg up to about 20 weeks, you don't have a bump, well not generally on your first. You are just going thru the 'fat' phase of your pg.

    Look, I'm not great with words...it's just rude to say it to a woman, ok?
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70
    It's not a case of being easily offended, but the person making the comments doesn't necessarily know what is going on with the person in question. They don't know if they're struggling with weight issues or trying to get pregnant or what. It's just insensitive and unnecessary. Are you telling me that if someone pointed out the size of your belly, you wouldn't be in the slightest bit offended?
  • RobinJaggard
    RobinJaggard Posts: 3
    have you tried a sauna wedjul05 i have found that it is quite good for bloating also peppermint tea i have found when i have had issues in the past these have helped peppermint is proven to help with digestion and bloating tastes nice too im sure youve probably heard these before also im doing a detox at the moment which has been amazing also aloe juice can help good luck hope you get things under control soon and yes i think asking a women if she is pregnant isnt the smartest thing to do if your not 100% sure she is but i dont think people do it to be hurtful maybe your glowing all the best :)
  • Queen_M
    Queen_M Posts: 70

    thanks for all the advise re my tummy. It's not so bad today. Have a friend who suffers with IBS who can advise me also and I'll wait and see what acu can do for me.

    My aunt suffers with ibs and swears by chamomile tea, so you could try that :).
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
    Thanks queen_M. I like herbal teas alot so don't mind trying new one's. Nettle tea is good also.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    Oh grasshopper, you're very clever and come from the "anything goes" school of (bad) manners. It's rude to ask about someone's appearance that way. If someone has another physical attribute and you want to know more about it, do you just ask? Usually not. And, it's not about "wasting energy" when people notice "it" whatever it is. It's about minding your own business and letting other people go through the day without hearing someone's thoughtless comments.

    My husband has a rule: don't ask if a woman's pregnant unless you see the baby's head crowning.
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    people do it, they don't mean anything by it. It happened to me going through customs in Dubai though (not with myhusband) so although I was horrified I think it was a bit more of a serious question!
    anyways, to me its a wake up call. sorry no amount of bloating can cause you to look pregnant. Be positive - your' on this site, your on it, you'll get there!!!!
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
    people do it, they don't mean anything by it. It happened to me going through customs in Dubai though (not with myhusband) so although I was horrified I think it was a bit more of a serious question!
    anyways, to me its a wake up call. sorry no amount of bloating can cause you to look pregnant. Be positive - your' on this site, your on it, you'll get there!!!!

    Ah I know this particular lady didn't mean anything by it, I get on fine with her. I know most people wouldn't ask the question but we all make mistakes. Just came at a bad time for me, that's all.
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
    I have had this from time to time. I always have a bit of a belly going on, even when I'm slim. It is mortifying though. It's not just about size, you might be someone wanting to be pregnant, someone who has lost a baby, someone who is pregnant and not announced it yet - there's a million different reasons not to ask!
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    You know when you are actually pregnant, its like the bEST question anyone can ask you, you are so excited and happy to share! she probably was being very well meaning and even excited for you!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it's rude and a question that basically says "you're fat" without actually saying it. I'd be offended too.
    But if you're fat you're fat. Why waste your energy getting all offended when people notice it and ask a question? Or do you think nobody can see you?

    Eh I'm not fat at all thank you very much!!! I'm 5ft 8 and quite slim really. I just have a bloated belly for the past few weeks due to bowel/stomach issues. Jeez.......

    It's rude to ask a woman if she is pg or not, it implies she has a belly one way or another an believe me, you don't want to point out to a woman she may have a belly going on. It's just plain rude IMO. Even if you are pg up to about 20 weeks, you don't have a bump, well not generally on your first. You are just going thru the 'fat' phase of your pg.

    Look, I'm not great with words...it's just rude to say it to a woman, ok?

    I think the problem I have with the question is who asks it. A close friend would have been told, a non friend wouldn't ask. A busy body would be prepared to spread the news.. and maybe I'm not ready to share it. Being asked if you are pregnant is as bad as someone saying during your 6th month of pregnancy.. "oh any day now eh!" .. To which my reply was "Suck it!! I have 3 months to go" She was almost 9 lbs!!!!
  • DarrenSeeley
    DarrenSeeley Posts: 41 Member
    In my opinion if you feel like asking " are you pregnant" to a stranger, and a list of reasons why you perhaps should not ask don't immediately come into your head then this is ignorance. I wouldn't think someone is mean for doing it, but this lack of empathy can be offensive.

    We are all here to help one another. Some of us can take a little more hard truth than others, but it's all about supporting the changes we want to make in our lives.

    A certain poster here feels that people shouldn't get so easily offended, but we all do, whether we admit it or not, and there will be things that the certain poster has insecurities about too: which is why I believe they have taken such a mean spirited attitude to the OP.

    Just sayin'

    Best wishes
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    Oh no, I can imagine you were upset by that question.

    I go through phases of IBS as well, what helps me a lot, is taking peppermint capsules twice a day. You can get them in any healthstore. Really settles my tummy and reduces the bloat.
  • huntingforhipbones
    huntingforhipbones Posts: 67
    If it makes you feel better, I got called "shameful, at her age" by some woman in the gym changing rooms for looking pregnant - I have Crohn's Disease and was having a flare-up. Some people should really keep their mouths shut - would someone pregnant REALLY be going for a run?
  • huntingforhipbones
    huntingforhipbones Posts: 67
    Oh no, I can imagine you were upset by that question.

    I go through phases of IBS as well, what helps me a lot, is taking peppermint capsules twice a day. You can get them in any healthstore. Really settles my tummy and reduces the bloat.

    Seconding this! Or peppermint TEA! So yummy :3
  • lsirelan
    lsirelan Posts: 44 Member
    I totally feel your pain. I was asked if I was pregnant 2 times in a week and that's what motivated me to start MFP and a diet. Hurt then, but it was definitely the wake up call I needed.
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
    My rule... Never ask Someone if she is preggo unless she just said, my water broke! LOL
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
    It's happened to me too. Once at an airport - so I just agreed, as it involved a upgrade.... And the most recent time, I was amazed that anyone would think me young enough to be capable of conception. So I do know what you mean, but it isn't all bad - maybe they thought you were looking very healthy and glowing
  • duetwithjosh
    duetwithjosh Posts: 121
    Try encapsulated ginger for your IBS. Two capsules, twice daily or with meals. Really helped me with bloating and gassiness. (Plus ginger has a myriad of other health benefits :) )

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