Help!!! Diet vs Social life????

I think the only thing that can help is willpower! I too find my social life often 'ruins' my diet, but I know that it is up to me how I play things. I can go out and have healthy options, I just need to put my mind to it! And put a bit more time in at the gym! Basically I know that no one forces me to put food in my mouth, and if I'm focused in myself it's ok. Does that make sense? I would definitely not stop going out and seeing friends because of being on a diet. I can go out, have fun, and make sensible choices that are right for me. People would rather you are there and eating healthily than not be there at all!

This is true. Wine is a killer but so yum I don't know, I think you either have a night where you don't worry about the diet (i think one of these every now and again is ok and shouldn't harm weight loss too much..unless it is followed by hangover food all the next day, if you're anything like me!), or you have a night and have one or two glasses, make them last and drink them slowly and then switch to soft drinks or something..? When I'm in a 'focused' phase of weight loss I ask myself how much I want something and whether it will really be worth the calories. I'm not soo bad with wine, but chocolate is my nemesis... :-/

bump

judging by what you have said can people of standard BMI have a social life?

I think they can and they do, I certainly remember quite a few thin to normal sized people out when I used to go out on the town at the weekend.

If you have been overdoing it and overweight you have to cut back to reduce weight, don't worry it wont have to be forever. I am sure what people of standard BMI do is have days with more calories and then days with fewer calories and things balance out.

It helps that many of my friends are also trying to be mindful of their choices. Often now, some of them wait to see what i order cuz they know i have searched their menu online beforehand and will order what I do!

That said, sometimes I order wings.i have a cheat now andthen so Idon'tfeel deprived, and try to throw in a bigger workout to offset the damage. Today will be pizza andoreo birthday cake for my 11 year old's b day, so i will swim for an hour or two.

Come to think of it, try introducing an activity as the social thing rather than just sitting and eating. My friends and I meet for casual walks or bikerides, or we go dancing.

I don't find it to be incredibly difficult, just keep making smart choices. When I go out I'll have vodka/diet drinks, hummus/pita or some other kind of veggies. If you get a salad get a sensible dressing. Just don't forget about your diet when you're out with your friends!

Please forgive how evil I am going to sound, I can assure you it is not meant to sound that way....however...girl you need to make a choice...period. Choose to lose weight or be social (eating)...I am not fully comprehending why you can't be social and make good choices. Why look at the salad as boring? (note many salads in restaurants have a higher calorie content than other foods). Why is it bad to have a glass of wine and please forgive me, but no one MAKES you have a second glass, this is of your choosing which is fine, there is no problem in that, but own it. It is ok to go over calories once in a while, but log it and own it. This is a lifestyle truly; we know diets don't work long-term, it is best not to think of it as a diet. Who knows by you making good choices while out with your coworkers and being happy about it, you may inspire others to lead a healthy lifestyle. If they are not supportive, don't complain about it, this is YOUR life not theirs, only YOU can make the right choices for you. But a little piece of advice..don't complain about it, yes it is hard but it is your state of mind that will make you succeed long term not your "diet". It is not a burden, embrace your good choices and honestly does the thought of all your other coworkers getting heart disease or becoming more obese while eating things laden in too many bad fats or cholesterol really that appealing...just a thought…only you can choose good things for yourself…would you want your mother/sister/daughter/friend/loved one to choose healthy, if you answer yes, why not treat yourself as good as you would treat them.

You have to change the way you look at it. If you continue to think its ruining your social life, you will probably fail. It's a lifestyle change. You modify it to fit what you need to do. It might be drastic at first because you need to get a handle on what you are doing. For me it was not going out to restaurants for the first few months of my "diet" because i was afraid i wouldn't be able to eat anything. Then once i became comfortable with what i was doing, i knew what i could and could not eat. So what if everyone at your table is chowing down on nachos, why should you feel pressure to eat those. You should be thinking about how amazing you will look after all your hard work has paid off.

Yes -- this is really one of the toughest things. Sometimes honestly I will lie and say "I had a big lunch" or "I ate lunch late" so they don't wonder why I am only eating half my meal.

Another strategy is budgeting. For example though a blue cheese burger and fries would totally bust my calorie goal a burger with a salad on the side is do-able as long as I keep things modest the rest of the day. So if I know I am going out that night and a blue cheese burger is what I want I will make sure I save enough calories for it, skip the appetizers and desserts and get the salad.

Drinking is the toughest because you are right it adds up -- plus it can lower your resolve to stick with your other limits AND make you want to eat more the next day. That being said -- two glasses of wine is do-able as long as you plan ahead and make sure you save enough calories.

Another great strategy -- try to suggest social activities with your friends that don't revolve around food and drinking. The other night I was going out with the girls -- one person suggested we go to an all you can eat buffet, another person suggested we meet for a quick dinner and then go to a movie. Which one do you think I voted for?

Or better yet -- try to plan active things to do with your friends, like meeting to go for a walk in the park or taking a belly dancing class together or go swimming or whatever. Then if there is still food involved before or after you will be working it off!

The best yet is if possible share your goals with your friends. In my experience you will have some friends who are extremely supportive and might even be relieved because they too struggle with weight and getting active and would be THRILLED to spend time with you walking in the park instead of gorging at restaurants. And you will have some friends who will become defensive and try to talk you out of it or sabotage you. If you are like me you will still stay friends with them but probably just won't hang out as often.

And yes of course there will be those "cheat days" or whatever. But one of my big problems with weight loss before was that there was constantly some "special occasion" where I felt it was okay to eat whatever I wanted. "Special occasions" need to be once a month max not every other day!

The honest truth is that though you can have a social life and a healthy lifestyle it will never be quite the same as it was before. But it can actually be BETTER because it will be a social life that supports and promotes your other goals and with luck makes your friends happier and healthier too.

----
One final note -- yeah the olive oil thing drives me nuts too! I used to love it but now that I know the calories it kind of grosses me out.

I go out all the time and I always manage to fit it into my calories. I don't understand why you can't? Have a light breakfast and lunch and then eat half of a regular entree - which is usually plenty.

This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. A shame you can't make healthy choices, and so what if you drink one or 2 glasses of wine, move on to the next day. No reason to deprive yourself of life and regret the chance to be with friends and family. Life is Short make the best of it. IMHO

a bit of planning and a bit of will power and discipline .
enjoy yourself ,a couple of drinks and a bit of nice food whithout going overboard
choose low cal / small servings.and diet drinks
if you do go a bit over then you just need to have a couple of really low cal days to follow up.so your weekly average works out good
Enjoy the people and the event that's why your socialising its about the people not the food / drinks,
you don't need tons of booze to have a gr8 time, ....and no hangovers the next day;

You can do both and just plan for the occasions. Plan on goal weight to let yourself enjoy a treat. I'm doing that with pizza and if this week goes the way I want next Sat. I will be enjoying! You can do both just stay strong!

I wouldn't give up having fun. Yes we are all here to lose weight and get healthy, but we can't be a stick in the mud all the time. You are allowed to have days when you go over calories or eat "unhealthy."- if we didn't we would be boring and hermits. If get invited out and know so in advance I try to get a quick workout in that day or I say screw it, have fun and go right back to healthy eating the next day.

Restricting myself to the I-can't-have-that-it's-not-on-my-diet, NEVER works! A change in lifestyle is what works for me. So, saying that...have your social life and know that you have to make up the difference else where. Plan your meal ahead of time, so your prepared, Know the menu to make the best choices, and allow yourself to enjoy what want but know your limits. Eating a banana, apple, salad or a 16 oz glass of water can also fill you up before hand, and if you listen to your body, you won't over indulge.