Kids say the funniest things!

Options
13

Replies

  • Runs4Wine
    Runs4Wine Posts: 416 Member
    Options
    My son when he was 8 (he's 23 now): Mom, I don't know why you worry about your weight. You can always just get a bl*w j*b.

    Me: WHAT? What did you just say???? How do you know that word????

    My son (looking very frightened): You know. . . a bl*w j*b. Where they go in and suck all the fat out of ya.

    Me: OH. You mean liposuction. It's called liposuction.

    My son: Yeah, liposuction.

    OMG - this is too funny!
  • alzina
    alzina Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    ME: Gracie why are you being such a cranky *kitten*
    2 year old Gracie shakes her head and says *kitten*!!
    I laughed so hard.
  • Anderia
    Anderia Posts: 753 Member
    Options
    So my little guy comes home from school today and he had not finished his lunch we packed him (morning kindergarten). So I told him to sit at the table to finish his lunch.

    Me: Cyrus, you need to finish your sandwich and your gold fish crackers
    Cy: (starts crying) I can't like those gold fish.
    Me: Why?
    Cy: Cause I hate them
    Me: Why do you hate the gold fish?
    Cy: Cause I lub them.

    Your turn.....

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • poopoomonkey1978
    poopoomonkey1978 Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    my 18 month old daughter (after hearing a friend complain about being pregnant) said "Pregnancy gotta love it" and now if she hears a dog or anything like that she gets quiet and puts her hand to her ear and yells "listen"
  • poopoomonkey1978
    poopoomonkey1978 Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    any time you tell my two year that she is crazy she says" no I not I'm (her name), I two a half"
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
    Options
    My three and a half year old came to me the other day:

    "Daddy, do you have a penis?"

    "Yes, I do, Jinju."

    "ALL my boys have penises."

    "That's ni - wait, what?"
  • frosty73
    frosty73 Posts: 424 Member
    Options
    7-yr. old Gabe was playing a video game, and his older brother asked him how to play it.
    "I don't know, but I'm *really* good at it!"
  • love2cycle
    love2cycle Posts: 448 Member
    Options
    While driving in the van:

    2 year old son screaming his head off. My youngest daughter says while handing him a toy "here, play with this." I get this warm, fuzzy feeling thinking how sweet, when she follows up with "Anything to shut him up!"
  • Chester_1
    Chester_1 Posts: 26
    Options
    My best friend's six year old has two friends at school who are girls. We were all sitting in their living room watching tv when he suddenly said "When I grow up I'm going to marry Ashley, but I'm going to go over to Caitlyn's house."
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
    Options
    My brother in law had a shower late at night and figured it was safe to run past my 3 or 4 year old nieces room naked-she should be sleeping. He never heard a peep, so he thought he made it. The next morning, my sister was making my niece her breakfast and my niece asked why dad has beak.

    My niece was out with my mom and my niece farted. She sternly says to my mom "Nan!!" the two ladies in the aisle had to walk away they were laughing so hard.

    My niece yet again, was helping my sister fold laundry. The next day, my niece went to school and announced to everyone that her dad has skidmarks in his underwear.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    Options
    im going to school to be a preschool teacher. i once heard a kid say "i used to hate you because you were fat. but now i like you" not to me thank god. just goes to show how prejudice can be passed on to kids (3 year olds)

    also i was at target a few weeks ago and there was a little girl trying to help her mom pick out socks. her mom said "no i need socks for older women, that are bigger then this" (little girl was holding baby socks) so the little girl points at an old woman using a walker and says "lets ask that old lady where she gets her socks!" hahah

    also when i started my degree i was placed with a child who on the first day looked up at me and said "whatcha doing for lunch, i got two cookies and one of them could be yours *wink*" he was 5! haha so cute, i gotta love em
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    Options
    My nephews are 3 and 1.5 Since they are so close together, the older one, Mav, was in a "mine" stage and didn't want to share with Beckam. So of course every toy that Beckam touched, Mav took away which of course made Beckam cry and Mav would get in trouble.

    Beckam picked up on this and started to cry as soon as Mav got within 5 feet of him. Mav now runs to my sister with his hands in the air yelling "MOMMY! No touch bubby! No touch bubby!" to inform her, he didn't do anything.
  • chrissyw63
    chrissyw63 Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    4 year old: Auntie, Guess what?
    Me: what
    4 yo: I"m sexy and I know it.
    Me: really
    4 yo: Ya, I work out.

    I love this kid already.
  • wjewell
    wjewell Posts: 282 Member
    Options
    Possibly my favorite thread ever! :)
  • tlath70
    tlath70 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    When my daughter was 4 or 5 she would ask for a sandwich and I would ask her what she wanted on it. To this she would promply reply "meat lunch!"

    When my daughter was born, my son was 4 yo. As he watched me change the baby's diaper he asked why did I put a clip on her penis (it was the clamp on the umbilical cord), HA! When I told him it was not her penis and that girls do not have one, he asked, "then how does she pee...through her butt?"

    I love how their little minds try to make sense of everything that seems strange to them!
  • Crying_In_Color
    Crying_In_Color Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    The other night my husband did a little over eating. His stomach was sticking way out. My 4 year old son goes up to him and asks if he is having a baby.

    My son recently had an ear infection. He had to try a new medication. He told me it tastes like cheese sauce.

    My youngest daughter 18 months was told not to unplug the tv. She looked at me, smiled and said otay mama as she walked away.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
    Options
    My son was about 5 and we were eating dinner I told him he needed to eat his veggies
    Him: crosses arms Im going to take you to the store essshchage you

    [Earlier in the day we took clothes back to a stare that didn't fit and exchaged them]
    me: ok lets get your shoes on and as Im tying them I sa well you know you will get a new mommy which means OIll go with another little boy

    him: thinks for a min and say ok Ill give you one more chance just one more

    I laughed so hard



    2nd funny was when I was married to his dad his dad said he needed to lose weight that his belly is getting big ......my son says well you think???? Just look at your self!!
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
    Options
    Ok, same 18 year old son as story above...

    We're playing tennis (really, the boys are playing tennis, and I'm pretty much sucking at tennis, but having a great time) So the hit a ball to me, and I make contact with the ball, but it goes out.

    18 year old: "Mom - that was almost good."

    TURD!!!
  • Monda
    Monda Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    When my son was 4, we went grocery shopping and when it came time to check out, we went through a cashiers line who had a mole on her chin. It was a large mole with several hairs on it. My son looked very concerned.

    My son.. you have a tick on your face
    Cashier .. that's not a tick sweetheart
    My son ... yes it is, it has legs on it!

    I almost died!
  • bethelcheryl
    bethelcheryl Posts: 199 Member
    Options
    When my daughter was 4 or 5 we watched something on TV about the solar system. She decides to write a poem about planets. Soon, she comes running to me for help: "I can't think of a word that rhymes with Venus."

    Hmmm...that's a stumper, lol :)

Categories