Kids say the funniest things!

My 4 year old: "Nana, would you like a cookie?"
My mom: "No thank you. Nana needs to lose some weight so I can be skinny."
4 y.o.: "But Nana, you already ARE skinny!'
My mom: "You're so sweet. But Nana has a fat belly."
4 y.o (looking at Mom's tummy): " Well, just don't look there."

4 year old: Auntie, Guess what?
Me: what
4 yo: I"m sexy and I know it.
Me: really
4 yo: Ya, I work out.

A few weeks ago my daughter, 7 years old, was having issues not feeling well and having to visit the school nurse! After two days of me going to the school to pick her up and then she is fine once we get home, I had a little chat wth her.
Come to find out a little boy in her class was "making hearts at her"
Then she tells me, " mom, he says he loves me but I don't love him back. What do I do?" I almost died of laughter....all of that drama over a little boy.
I told her to tell him she wanted to be his friend and that she was too young for a boyfriend.


Years ago my oldest asked me , " why are they called artichokes? Do they make you choke?"

oh I forgot the best one, my daughter was in the dressing room with me when I was trying on a shirt. She looks at my stretch marked belly and says,
kiddo, " why does your belly look like that?'
Me, "It's from you and your sisters growing in there when you were babies."
kiddo, "where we scratching you?"
Me, rolling on the floor with laughter.." umm no honey my skin stretched and when you came out it wasn't stretched anymore so now it is wrinkled."
Kiddo, " It's kind of gross."
me, still laughing, " I know"

My son is four and last week as I was buckling him in his carseat on the way to school we had this little chat...

4YO: "Mommy, you have pretty purple eyes"
Me: "Purple? My eyes are blue"
4YO: "No under your eyes, it's a pretty purple"
Me: "That just means Mama's tired"

Little turd had to point out the bags under my eyes.....

I liked it the week before when he saw me doing Ripped in 30 and said:
"But you're already skinny, why do you need to do that again?"

My son when he was 8 (he's 23 now): Mom, I don't know why you worry about your weight. You can always just get a bl*w j*b.

Me: WHAT? What did you just say???? How do you know that word????

My son (looking very frightened): You know. . . a bl*w j*b. Where they go in and suck all the fat out of ya.

Me: OH. You mean liposuction. It's called liposuction.

My son: Yeah, liposuction.

OMG - this is too funny!

So my little guy comes home from school today and he had not finished his lunch we packed him (morning kindergarten). So I told him to sit at the table to finish his lunch.

Me: Cyrus, you need to finish your sandwich and your gold fish crackers
Cy: (starts crying) I can't like those gold fish.
Me: Why?
Cy: Cause I hate them
Me: Why do you hate the gold fish?
Cy: Cause I lub them.

Your turn.....

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

any time you tell my two year that she is crazy she says" no I not I'm (her name), I two a half"

7-yr. old Gabe was playing a video game, and his older brother asked him how to play it.
"I don't know, but I'm *really* good at it!"

My best friend's six year old has two friends at school who are girls. We were all sitting in their living room watching tv when he suddenly said "When I grow up I'm going to marry Ashley, but I'm going to go over to Caitlyn's house."

im going to school to be a preschool teacher. i once heard a kid say "i used to hate you because you were fat. but now i like you" not to me thank god. just goes to show how prejudice can be passed on to kids (3 year olds)

also i was at target a few weeks ago and there was a little girl trying to help her mom pick out socks. her mom said "no i need socks for older women, that are bigger then this" (little girl was holding baby socks) so the little girl points at an old woman using a walker and says "lets ask that old lady where she gets her socks!" hahah

also when i started my degree i was placed with a child who on the first day looked up at me and said "whatcha doing for lunch, i got two cookies and one of them could be yours *wink*" he was 5! haha so cute, i gotta love em

4 year old: Auntie, Guess what?
Me: what
4 yo: I"m sexy and I know it.
Me: really
4 yo: Ya, I work out.

I love this kid already.

When my daughter was 4 or 5 she would ask for a sandwich and I would ask her what she wanted on it. To this she would promply reply "meat lunch!"

When my daughter was born, my son was 4 yo. As he watched me change the baby's diaper he asked why did I put a clip on her penis (it was the clamp on the umbilical cord), HA! When I told him it was not her penis and that girls do not have one, he asked, "then how does she pee...through her butt?"

I love how their little minds try to make sense of everything that seems strange to them!

My son was about 5 and we were eating dinner I told him he needed to eat his veggies
Him: crosses arms Im going to take you to the store essshchage you

[Earlier in the day we took clothes back to a stare that didn't fit and exchaged them]
me: ok lets get your shoes on and as Im tying them I sa well you know you will get a new mommy which means OIll go with another little boy

him: thinks for a min and say ok Ill give you one more chance just one more

I laughed so hard



2nd funny was when I was married to his dad his dad said he needed to lose weight that his belly is getting big ......my son says well you think???? Just look at your self!!

When my son was 4, we went grocery shopping and when it came time to check out, we went through a cashiers line who had a mole on her chin. It was a large mole with several hairs on it. My son looked very concerned.

My son.. you have a tick on your face
Cashier .. that's not a tick sweetheart
My son ... yes it is, it has legs on it!

I almost died!