"You've lost enough weight now"
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My mother won't stop. She keeps insisting I should go into maintenance now, but I AM going to lose 5 more lbs before I go into maintenance.0
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Have got this statement many times in the past and was always hurt by it and led me to think the
same and REGAIN the weight. These people that I thought were being kind (FOOL ME) were just
JEALOUS( could of used the F word big time) because they didn't look or feel as good as me,I've
wasted so many years I'm not just blaming them but Gees they didn't help.. So SOD the lot of you
this is all about ME...... Oh Yea and another thing the people that say these remarks would want to
take a good look in the mirror because nobody's perfect and will never be.... Olive.x0 -
i have gotten the whole your not fat, i know people who are fat thing. im like are you blind? im 247 pounds , or was at the time. i know im fat and dont need you telling me im not. im not stupid. then when i told her i was trying to lose weight she asked me why because i tried before and failed.
Ouch! Rude. I've been asked why I was trying to lose weight because I didn't look "that big". Right. I was around 250 at that time and now am at 174. Now I've been asked if this is where I am going to stop. I tell them, "Not until I am at a healthy weight" and for me that is around 140.0 -
yes hear this time and time again. I think they genuinely mean it because to them maybe they see the dramatic change and that looks scary to them. Also, if someone is wanting to lose weight it makes them feel bad about themselves.
My mom (who sees me 3 times a year due to distance) actually said to me "I hope you're not anorexic". No mom, thanks though.
For me, I'm still 130 pounds at 5'6" - completely normal and healthy. But because I added strength training I look considerably smaller than 130 pounds. So I can see where people may think that I weigh a lot less.0 -
My wife has told me this. The problem I have is that she is also trying (unsuccessful) to lose weight as well. I'm afraid to report any progress I'm making. I don't want her to a) get mad at me for continuing the weight loss and b) get jealous of my results.
I also had a co-worker tell me I looked healthier before I started to lose weight.0 -
I hate that! And it discourages me, and then I usually just give up! But when I actually have kept up with it no matter what anyone said, I felt 110% better, and got 110% more compliments!!! So I must know something they don't..... either their just jealous and don't want u to look any better then u already do, or they just don't get it lol0
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My boyfriend said this to me two weeks ago! I decided to do maintenance for a week because of it but I still lost more weight.... oops
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I got told that yesterday ,that I am too skinny now,,lol..never thought I would hear that again,,told them I still want to loose 10 more pounds,,they think I am crazzy but I know where I will feel comfortable ,it's not there decision.but it was nice to hear the "S" word again,,skinny haha0
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Honestly I think after youve lost a significant amount of weight it makes you look smaller than you might be, just because they are so used to looking at a "bigger" you. With that said, if you are in the healthy range and aren't trying to go to a underweight or unhealthy weight, I would disregard the comments.
I am 5'8 and at 155 was told I look like "I had been starved"..:/ 164 is the max for "healthy"..SO. As long as you are happy, just appreciate they think you look good how you are now, we are our worst critics and sometimes outsiders see what we dont.0 -
i have gotten the whole your not fat, i know people who are fat thing. im like are you blind? im 247 pounds , or was at the time. i know im fat and dont need you telling me im not. im not stupid. then when i told her i was trying to lose weight she asked me why because i tried before and failed.
Ouch! Rude. I've been asked why I was trying to lose weight because I didn't look "that big". Right. I was around 250 at that time and now am at 174. Now I've been asked if this is where I am going to stop. I tell them, "Not until I am at a healthy weight" and for me that is around 140.
yeah she is a rude one. she always has been i guess. my hubby known her when she was a teenager. says she has never changed. she said i should like her and try the body by vi if anyone here knows what that is. its basically the whole shake thing. i told her no thanks. once she starts eating normal food again the weight will come back and more probably. im happy with my healthy eating and exercise0 -
I dont always think that this is something someone will say because they are jealous. My friend lost a lot of weight last year after she broke up with the partner and she looked ill. You could see her ribs and hip bones. We were very concerned about her and we would constatly tell her that she had done well to lose weight but thet she had lost enough and should stop dieting.
She had an eating disorder.
We were saying it because we loved her. not because we were jealous.0 -
I get this too. I'm not quite to where I want to be, but at least I'm healthy now. I know the people who say that are well-meaning, but they don't realize how far I've come and how much more I have to go. I just smile and thank them for caring, I don't have to tell them I'd still like to lose a few more pounds!!! Of course, they love my energy and are proud of my running and stuff, so it's all good! These last few pounds have been trying for months to leave, but they are like an annoying roommate who just WON'T leave!! Ugh...0
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The way I see it, it could be one of four things:
1) You're being crabby and/or otherwise acting unhappy about the diet/exercise regimen and they would rather you be happy than miserable. (My hubby unwittingly tells me he loves me the way I am - which is great, but completely undermines me when I'm having a bad day. I'd rather he say something like "you can't stop now, you've come so far".)
2) You've become like the newly-quit smoker who preaches about how he was "saved" and how "evil" smoking is... only with diet/exercise. To the point of annoying the crap out of everyone around you by telling them about how unhealthy they eat and how they should exercize more. (Even if you mean well, this behavior is SUPER annoying!!)
3) You've replaced one addiction (food) with another (diet/exercise) and your loved-ones are concerned that it could lead to annorexia. (I have a friend in this situation right now but she's too far in denial to see it.)
4) You're already *at* the annorexia point and your loved-ones are trying to reach you before you get worse.0 -
I used to get this from my mom when i was around 135-140. It kinda made me feel good.0
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At least in my experience with being told this, I think most people have meant it in good faith. They're used to the old me and they're having trouble reconciling the new me to that old image. I found it very easy to brush of people in the general co-worker/acquaintance category.
I had a little more trouble hearing it from a family member and my house-mate. I reminded myself that they are just looking out for me and want to ensure that I don't take things too far. (I have a somewhat obsessive personality, and my family has a history of eating disorders.) But I would be happy to sit down and have a long and involved discussion with anyone who will listen about how I want to be *healthy*, not skinny. I'm lifting barbells at the gym and eating enough calories to fuel this part of my journey, thank you very much. Sometimes I point out that what they see when they look at me in my flattering clothing is not the same thing I see standing naked in front of a mirror letting it all hang out.
These days, people tend to leave me alone when I tell them that I'm concentrating on losing fat and gaining muscle at this point. ^_^0 -
Honestly I think after youve lost a significant amount of weight it makes you look smaller than you might be, just because they are so used to looking at a "bigger" you. With that said, if you are in the healthy range and aren't trying to go to a underweight or unhealthy weight, I would disregard the comments. ...
appreciate they think you look good how you are now, we are our worst critics and sometimes outsiders see what we dont.
Ditto!!0 -
Mostly I get people telling me how great I look! It feels so good to hear that. It gives me inspiration and determination to keep going.
The other day my MIL said, "you could stop now" I said, "I want to be 150#" She said, " well that will be too thin". I said, "it is a healthy weight for me". I can't believe someone was trying to talk me into reconsidering my progress and momentum!
I think my MIL meant well. But it would be nice if people said:
You look great
How are you doing it
I'm proud of you
Can you help me
Among others. I LOVE to hear how great I look! Best feeling ever!0 -
i say that i am not losing weight anymore and smile.0
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Yeah Ive been getting it lots lately too. I still have a BMI (which I know isnt everything) of 27.1 - so I know a few more kilo's wont hurt me. I have 3.2 to go - but people tell me quite often I am starting to look too skinny. I just stick to the plan
I often thinks it is because of jealousy, and perhaps ignorance. I mean some people really do have no idea on how to be healthy or what healthy is or looks like.0 -
I haven't said it in those words, but I did very cautiously ask my husband how much more weight he wanted to lose. After he lost 50lbs, he looked very different. At 70 lbs down, I can't imagine him much skinnier, but honestly, he could probably go another 40 and still be in a healthy weight catagory.
My hubs is very muscular though, and I would hate to see him lose that. However, it's not my body, so I can't tell him what to do.
And I'm not a doctor, so I don't even know.0 -
I dont always think that this is something someone will say because they are jealous. My friend lost a lot of weight last year after she broke up with the partner and she looked ill. You could see her ribs and hip bones. We were very concerned about her and we would constatly tell her that she had done well to lose weight but thet she had lost enough and should stop dieting.
She had an eating disorder.
We were saying it because we loved her. not because we were jealous.
I think there are differences in the way someone comes across when they are generally concerned for your well being and when they are just trying to give a compliment/or insult in a weird dysfunctional way.0 -
I think a good way to get people off your back is to tell them that according to your BMI, you're still overweight and therefore at a higher risk for a bunch of diseases. It's actually surprising. I've had friends who have lost a ton of weight and look awesome, and it turns out they still got more to lose based on those calculations.0
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The only person who gets a say in this, other than me, is my husband. Because, honestly, his opinion matters to me.... And, after 23 years, he's figured out that I'm a little sensitive about my weight/appearance/family/politics/stuff, so couches his opinion with statements like, "While you're attractive at whatever weight, [insert opinion here]."
This is a far cry from the accidental use of the word "gut" when we were much younger....and the "not any fatter than you look in the rest of your clothes" (to be fair, I've not asked that question again.)0 -
there is definitely something about seeing others succeed that makes people angry. I won't lie, I have a very small amount of annoyance when my friend works out because I feel like that's "my thing". But it's stupid. People always tell me that I'm too skinny, or I don't need to lose weight, but it honestly doesn't affect me. They don't understand what being "skinny fat" means, and honestly, I'm not that skinny. I'm pretty average, and I look practically the same as all my other friends. i guess when you break out of that circle of "average' people will do whatever it takes to pull you back in. They don't want you to be "better". But yeah, I'm doing this for me, and so no matter what anyone says to me, EVER, it's not that I DON'T let it affect me, it's that it just doesn't. I will tell myself when to stop, and it's honestly nobody else's business in what i do, or what I'm trying to do. I want to look good, feel good, and know that I'm doing something better for myself, and so whenever someone tells me that what I'm doing is "useless" or unnecessary, I just think about how I'll show them, and prove them wrong after.0
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Yes, I get this from a "friend" who is jealous of my weight loss. According to her if I lost anymore weight I will look "bad" because I'm "naturally a big girl" and shouldn't be "small" :-/
Gotta love "friends"!
wow screw that friend! lmao that would not be my friend ever again haha0 -
It gets on my freaking nerves. I could really hurt their feelings by saying, "You've gained enough weight now", but nope I just smile and say it in my head. I don't tell you when to stop gaining, so I think I can decide when to stop losing.
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Oh yeah, some people are just jealous 0
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OMG, I can't believe she would say that, and by the way you look GREAT! I've had plenty of people to tell me that's enough, but since those comments, I've gotten smaller and still look great and not sickly.Yes, I get this from a "friend" who is jealous of my weight loss. According to her if I lost anymore weight I will look "bad" because I'm "naturally a big girl" and shouldn't be "small" :-/
Gotta love "friends"!0 -
I have shared my journey with pretty much anyone who will listen, and once I reached my first goal of 45lbs I said I wanted to go for another 30. One of my co-workers who was being really nice asked me where was I going to get it from, and even though it was sweet of her to actually see me as small I know that is what I need for me to be out of the overweight BMI range
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Parents... they have no idea how much I weigh and keep telling me my "diet" is "stupid" and I should just "eat what I want".
My favorite is "you're not fat". No **** I'm not fat! Does that mean I'm not allowed to lose a little weight and watch what I eat?0
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