Overweight kids...abuse???

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Replies

  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Personally, I think that nutrition education should start at a fairly young age so that people will start growing up with the knowledge that they need to make the choices that will help them maintain their health and weight. Though I'm sure some parents truly are neglectful and don't feed their children properly out of laziness, I believe that the true issue is that the vast majority of American's haven't a clue what constitutes a healthy meal, much less how to cook healthy meals and if we, as adults do not have this knowledge, how can we be expected to raise our children healthfully? If I wasn't diabetic, I probably wouldn't know a fraction of what I do about food and how it affects our bodies. The lack of education and the encouragement to eat quick, easy, processed foods because we're all busy is the downfall of healthy weight in America.

    Neglect is rarely an issue of "laziness," and more often the result of other circumstances. Does this make it any better for the child? No, of course not, but it's important to realize few parents neglect their children because they are just too lazy to take care of them.
  • Dilfster
    Dilfster Posts: 416 Member
    it's not for me to judge those parents. i judge my own parenting skills and that's all i have control over.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    it's not for me to judge those parents. i judge my own parenting some skills and that's all i have control over.


    Many of us are here as adult overeaters. I know I am. But, do I know WHY I overeat? No. Not really. Same thing for kids. I know because I was a fat kid with thin parents with excellent eating habits. They did nothing wrong.
  • Coyla
    Coyla Posts: 444 Member
    If you consider spoiling children abuse, then maybe you have a point. When kids get to eat whatever they want, whenever they wants, it's simply because parents don't know how to say No.

    Some kids are being spoiled in other ways, however, not with food but money, games, privileges, etc. Should we start using surveillance to find out which parents are spoiling their kids, then label them as abusive? Or is it just the visible signs of potential bad parenting that we're going to target?

    Someone here said it best: Encourage healthy eating, but don't force the issue. Let kids be kids.
  • Elenazuniga
    Elenazuniga Posts: 56
    I have a sis on law who will let her kids eat whatever they want just as long as they leave her alone..meal time come.and same thing.. her 3 kids are large I have a 11yr old who wears a size 12 pants yet her 9year which is her oldest wears a size 16 pants.. is this family poor uneducated or anything? no.. she studied for the medical field theyre well set.. but lazy..because she doesn't work at the moment since she's once again pregnant. they'll do anything as long as the kids stay quiet.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    I have a sis on law who will let her kids eat whatever they want just as long as they leave her alone..meal time come.and same thing.. her 3 kids are large I have a 11yr old who wears a size 12 pants yet her 9year which is her oldest wears a size 16 pants.. is this family poor uneducated or anything? no.. she studied for the medical field theyre well set.. but lazy..because she doesn't work at the moment since she's once again pregnant. they'll do anything as long as the kids stay quiet.

    I understand the desire to judge your sister-in-law for being lazy, but could there be other things going on? In my experience, 9 and 11 year olds aren't totally passive. I was babysitting at age 11 and making food decisions for myself and the children I babysat for. Unless they are being force-fed, at least some of the responsibility is on them at these ages.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Abuse? That sounds extreme. There are many reasons why some children are obese/overweight. I was overweight as a kid since age 9-10. My mom was a single parent, and we barely had money. Plus, I was not very active since it was difficult for me to play or do sports since my mom couldn't pick me up from school activities since she worked a lot during my youth. In addition, I suffered from a mild depression as a teenager and isolated myself in the house that further caused me to gain weight. That doesn't even include the factors such as school lunches and puberty that complicated things. I think we need to be cognizant of the different factors that causes childhood obesity. Its a multi-factoral problem.


    So true...not everyone can afford fresh produce bujee people....go to a grocery store right now and see what's the cheapest thing. I guarantee you al the processed foods and junk. When you are going through hard times you take what you can get...JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE...just saying....know the story before you talk trash about people.

    Now I can't speak for where you live, but I can get a pound of banana's for much less than a candy bar... A bundle of fresh spinach for half the price of the bag of chips (and both last just as long). I can even get a pound of strawberries for about the same price as a package of cookies and less than chips. So where I live, processed food costs more than the fresh stuff... But to be fair we have about as many grocery stores as we do churches around here... But all I'm trying to say, is this argument doesn't always hold up.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    It's a shame, but MYOB
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    I agree with you 100%
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    To be fair, the opposite can also be true, the othe day my daughter turned down a candy bar because it had too many "calimari's"... We as parents really need to be careful of the lifestyle we live in front of our children. I had to sit my daughter down (Shes 4) and explain to her that Im on a diet because I made a big mistake and now I need to fix it, and that she is still growing and can have more calories than I can, else she wont grow tall.

    I got this way because my father was one of those "if you arent a size 0 then you are fat" kind of men... and if I even had one little extra lump on my body he would tell me I was "getting porky there piggy"... when I left home I went nuts with food and ended up 65lbs overweight.

    The end solution is just responsible level headed parenting..

    I did the same thing as your daughter... But I didn't do it because of my mom... I was learning it in "health" class at school. My parents where concerned I was become anorexic because I wouldn't eat anything... I still don't like pancakes because my mom wouldnt let me leave the table. My daughter is why I'm determined to lose the weight I need to before she had the ability to realize what "dieting" is.
  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
    As a person who has been subject to ridicule my entire life I would caution your tone.

    Change comes from self love, not from other people's ridicule.

    I believe in supporting families and helping them embrace a healthy lifestyle, not shaming the way they treat thier children, esp when they are at such a disadvantage.

    My mother is obese. My father was. I was raised in a household that did not embrace vegtables and ate the cheapest and easiest foods. My parents didn't have the money and they worked too many jobs to spend time cooking. Yet, it wasn't thier fault that I grew up to be obese.

    My parents weren't taught a healthy relationship with food and by the time they learned it, I was so shamed by my weight i couldn't understand it and they couldn't help me. All i felt when people talked about it was shame and fear.

    Your comments, thoguh i understand where they come from, do nothing but increase the shame people feel, and though you might think that helps, I promise you, it does not. It does NOTHING but discourage people and make them turn away from the topic and become defencive. People who are protecting themselves do not change. People who are comfortable, filled with self love do.
  • Elenazuniga
    Elenazuniga Posts: 56
    I have a sis on law who will let her kids eat whatever they want just as long as they leave her alone..meal time come.and same thing.. her 3 kids are large I have a 11yr old who wears a size 12 pants yet her 9year which is her oldest wears a size 16 pants.. is this family poor uneducated or anything? no.. she studied for the medical field theyre well set.. but lazy..because she doesn't work at the moment since she's once again pregnant. they'll do anything as long as the kids stay quiet.

    I understand the desire to judge your sister-in-law for being lazy, but could there be other things going on? In my experience, 9 and 11 year olds aren't totally passive. I was babysitting at age 11 and making food decisions for myself and the children I babysat for. Unless they are being force-fed, at least some of the responsibility is on them at these ages.

    I have 3 kids of my own and in no way shape or form I don't care how much they cry or call me mean do I let them have there way.. If your a stay at home mom I am as well why would this be allowed.. Your the authority figure this is not acceptable.. even my 11 year old knows if mom says no it means no..
  • AABru
    AABru Posts: 610 Member
    The state of Ohio believes obesity is abuse. Just recently Children and Family Services removed a boy from his home and placed him in Foster care because he was overweight. He has lost 50 pounds and is now allowed to go back to his mother. I believe he was 9 or 10. It was all over the news in Cleveland, and there were multiple articles in the Plain Dealer.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
    To answer questions…I grew up in a household of a single mother that worked 3 jobs and I ate whatever I wanted which in my mind was neglect. Not intentional because she had to work and take care of us but neglect all the same. If I grew to obese then I would consider it abuse. Anything that can be controlled but is not and causes health problems should be a concern of everyone’s when it comes to our babies. I am at a healthy weight at 138, just want to tone up on this site. I am a single parent with a full time job as well as a part time job to support my child. I have traveled A LOT within my job and nowhere I have been does it cost less to buy crap then carrots and a chicken breast. I don’t judge adults with their weight because they have the freedom to chose their own lifestyle. Health issues, as I have stated BEFORE ON THIS, that causes obesity is not what I am talking about here. Teenagers do have some fault at hand but you only know what you are taught. I DO, however, find it incredibly disturbing the amount of adults on here that are trying to make themselves healthier but have no issue turning their heads to suffering kids. I say suffering because I have yet met an obese child that is without medical issues. I pray that if my child is ever in harm’s way that someone would do whatever they needed too to protect her if I didn’t have the means or knowhow to do it myself. Lets come together and stop turning our heads, open your eyes and start caring about our kids once again. No, I will not mind my own business, kids need a voice!!! If you take offence to what I said, it is probably for good reason.
  • DrthFlanders
    DrthFlanders Posts: 6
    To answer questions…I grew up in a household of a single mother that worked 3 jobs and I ate whatever I wanted which in my mind was neglect. Not intentional because she had to work and take care of us but neglect all the same. If I grew to obese then I would consider it abuse. Anything that can be controlled but is not and causes health problems should be a concern of everyone’s when it comes to our babies. I am at a healthy weight at 138, just want to tone up on this site. I am a single parent with a full time job as well as a part time job to support my child. I have traveled A LOT within my job and nowhere I have been does it cost less to buy crap then carrots and a chicken breast. I don’t judge adults with their weight because they have the freedom to chose their own lifestyle. Health issues, as I have stated BEFORE ON THIS, that causes obesity is not what I am talking about here. Teenagers do have some fault at hand but you only know what you are taught. I DO, however, find it incredibly disturbing the amount of adults on here that are trying to make themselves healthier but have no issue turning their heads to suffering kids. I say suffering because I have yet met an obese child that is without medical issues. I pray that if my child is ever in harm’s way that someone would do whatever they needed too to protect her if I didn’t have the means or knowhow to do it myself. Lets come together and stop turning our heads, open your eyes and start caring about our kids once again. No, I will not mind my own business, kids need a voice!!! If you take offence to what I said, it is probably for good reason.

    Hearing your back-story explains why you feel the way you do. You have every right to feel that way, but I think its wrong to say that people on this thread don't care about children. What people are saying is that this is a sticky subject - something that isn't easily defined or governed, not to mention all the parental rights suits.

    Do kids need a voice? No. You give voice to a kid that lives on sugar and processed meats, and he'll ask you why you're taking away what he likes. What they need is education and, in extreme circumstances, protection - even if its from themselves or their parents. That's what Child Protective Services does when they intervene in a family. Nobody likes it, but that's what society says needs to happen to ensure children are raised in a "safe" home.

    Overweight = Abuse? Are we really saying that parents have malicious intent towards their child?
    Overweight = Neglect? Are we saying that parents are apothetic to their child's well-being?

    If either are true, other conditions in the home would probably warrant the removal of the child. Children might be left alone to fend for themselves or victims of physical harm, but the key is the attitude of the parent toward the child. That's what the courts have to prove through analysis of the parents' actions.

    If you want to believe that the weight of a child is one of many potential indicators for investigation - I may be pursuaded to agree, but I think it a bit hastie to jump straight from obese to abuse.
  • vanishingirl77
    vanishingirl77 Posts: 37
    You know what angers me?

    I was a fat kid. I played outside, rose bikes...did everythingt my friends did. Society assumed I sat on my *kitten* all day.

    I didn't sit around and shove twinkies and hot dogs down my throat all day. I wasn't the kid who scarfed down everything in site. I got fat by eating just a bit more than I should have and it started to add up. And soon I was eating in secret to dull the pain...I was ashamed to eat around people so I'd starve until I was alone and then I'd binge.

    My parents did not abuse or neglect me. The abuse came from the bullies. People assumed a lot about my eating habits that weren't true.

    I think people should mind their own business and stop assuming so much. To call having a child who is fat abuse or neglect is to make light of what abuse and neglect actually are.
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