Ignorant colleagues who have never had to lose weight
Options
Limajuliet
Posts: 54 Member
Good Morning,
I need somewhere to vent this. Sorry in advance if it’s a bit of a rant. And please be nice with your responses, I’m feeling rather delicate!
I have not eaten wheat in about 6 week with an aim to cut out some of the unhealthier aspects of my diet… pizza, pasta, bread (although all eaten in moderation, I think I had some sort of wheat addiction). I have always been sceptical of people with wheat ‘allergies’ but thought I would give it a go just to see what happened. So within a couple of days I felt less bloated, had more energy and generally felt great. I should say that at this point I was already doing regular exercise, but cutting out wheat gave me a great boost.
Fast forwarding a bit, 2 weeks ago I started properly tracking my calories using MFP and so far, so good. I had identified that I had been eating just a little too much to lose any weight, despite all the exercise (which I have been doing regularly now for 3 months).
So yesterday, I had my first wheat in 6 weeks… 2 chocolate biscuits (all with my calorie allowance and as part of a very healthy, balance diet, I hasten to add!). Today, I feel a bit bloated and not so great, so I decided to donate the rest of the packet of (very nice) biscuits to 2 of my male colleagues who don’t know anything about my diet, how much exercise I’m doing etc. So the response for these free biscuits? Colleague: ‘Why do you not want them?’
Me: ‘I’ve stopped eating wheat for 6 weeks and they made me feel grim’
Colleague: ‘Why have you stopped eating wheat?’
Me: ‘To lose weight’
Then I got a torrent of comments, like ‘you shouldn’t eat biscuits, not because they have wheat in them, but because they contain sugar and fat’, ‘just do lots of exercise and eat a balanced diet’, ‘don’t drink fizzy drinks, even diet ones’ Ok, maybe not bad advise, but I felt really attacked because I’ve been tracking EVERYTHING, exercising every day, working really hard and have lost weight and inches but nobody in my office (mostly men) has noticed. I got so much abuse for eating 2 biscuits from people who don’t know or understand what I’m doing. They think that because I’m trying to lose weight, I can never eat a biscuit ever again. Never mind that I’m burning between 200 and 600 cals in the gym/pool/walking every night!
Sorry for the rant folks, but I need some help on dealing with ignorant colleagues who have never had to lose weight, aren’t healthy themselves (i.e. fat skinnies some of whom smoke!)
Thanks for reading (if you haven’t got bored by now and reached for the biscuits yourselves!)
L
I need somewhere to vent this. Sorry in advance if it’s a bit of a rant. And please be nice with your responses, I’m feeling rather delicate!
I have not eaten wheat in about 6 week with an aim to cut out some of the unhealthier aspects of my diet… pizza, pasta, bread (although all eaten in moderation, I think I had some sort of wheat addiction). I have always been sceptical of people with wheat ‘allergies’ but thought I would give it a go just to see what happened. So within a couple of days I felt less bloated, had more energy and generally felt great. I should say that at this point I was already doing regular exercise, but cutting out wheat gave me a great boost.
Fast forwarding a bit, 2 weeks ago I started properly tracking my calories using MFP and so far, so good. I had identified that I had been eating just a little too much to lose any weight, despite all the exercise (which I have been doing regularly now for 3 months).
So yesterday, I had my first wheat in 6 weeks… 2 chocolate biscuits (all with my calorie allowance and as part of a very healthy, balance diet, I hasten to add!). Today, I feel a bit bloated and not so great, so I decided to donate the rest of the packet of (very nice) biscuits to 2 of my male colleagues who don’t know anything about my diet, how much exercise I’m doing etc. So the response for these free biscuits? Colleague: ‘Why do you not want them?’
Me: ‘I’ve stopped eating wheat for 6 weeks and they made me feel grim’
Colleague: ‘Why have you stopped eating wheat?’
Me: ‘To lose weight’
Then I got a torrent of comments, like ‘you shouldn’t eat biscuits, not because they have wheat in them, but because they contain sugar and fat’, ‘just do lots of exercise and eat a balanced diet’, ‘don’t drink fizzy drinks, even diet ones’ Ok, maybe not bad advise, but I felt really attacked because I’ve been tracking EVERYTHING, exercising every day, working really hard and have lost weight and inches but nobody in my office (mostly men) has noticed. I got so much abuse for eating 2 biscuits from people who don’t know or understand what I’m doing. They think that because I’m trying to lose weight, I can never eat a biscuit ever again. Never mind that I’m burning between 200 and 600 cals in the gym/pool/walking every night!
Sorry for the rant folks, but I need some help on dealing with ignorant colleagues who have never had to lose weight, aren’t healthy themselves (i.e. fat skinnies some of whom smoke!)
Thanks for reading (if you haven’t got bored by now and reached for the biscuits yourselves!)
L
0
Replies
-
Some people just don't "get it".....it isn't about the "diet" it is about the lifestyle change......I would suggest you get tested for "wheat or gluten allergies" because I am NOT a medical proffessional I do not know for sure but it sounds to me that you may have intollerance or allergy to aforementioned items. Get it checked out
and as far as the "other people" unfortunately no one can control what they are going to say so I reccommend no justification for your actions. It is quite frankly none of their business. Be strong, be positive to yourself and you will persevere keep up the good work! 0 -
I know what you mean, and there is so much ignorance and misinformation out there... I think once you have been part of a community like MFP for a while that, for the most part at least, 'gets it', you forget that others are actually pretty clueless!
Funnily enough, I had three full conversations with different groups of people today who have commented on my progress. I routinely heard comments like 'have you had enough of starving yourself yet' or 'so what plan are you on, wjhat are you allowed to eat'... people seem generally surprised when I say things like this week alone I have had cheesecake, bacon & eggs, been out to restaurants etc.
At first it felt like a bit of a chore explaining that this is not a typical diet, but just a change of lyfestyle... blah blah... Now I tend to feel sorry for their lack of knowledge more than anything else, and use the chance to spruik MFP
0 -
to be devil's advocate... they probably thought (wrongfully so) that you were going on a fad diet, or a completely restricitve one....
People like to only get snippets of a story and then draw their own conclusions hastily. It's really frustrating. Just tell them what you told us next time! Or, next time you take cookies into your office to give to people, just say that you didn't like them.... no one will say "oh, you should TRY to like them" they'll just be thankful for the cookies.0 -
Hi L,
I feel for you chick!
Men are generally worse than women at these kinds of things, although many are not, but those who have never had to lose any significant weight will not understand the strength of character it has taken for you to get to the stage you are at.
It sounds like they were just trying to give advice (as my slim boyfriend does) but it either caught you at the wrong time and you took it personally. I did the very same thing until I sat down with him and eventually over a period of time he understood the sacrifices I was making and the daily battle it takes to keep ourselves on track.
If you dont feel supported it can make or break your will power. Sometimes I would feel like 'screw you, I'll show you' and other times I would just feel so depressed. But colleagues arent quite the same as partners.
If you want a biscuit (wheat or otherwise) you have it, in front of them, at home wherever; remember this journey is yours, no-one else's - in a short period of time when you feel more confident because you feel more in control of everything, your emotions may not be so sensitive. I am saying this out of experience, not by judging you I hope you understand?
I have been using MFP for 9 weeks and have lost just under 1 stone. Then last night, I weighed and put on one pound! I was like, how can this have happened. I think I am beginning to build muscle up etc which they say weighs more than fat. So, I had a moment where I felt like poop and then decided that I could do what I would have done before, comfort eat because if i had made all these changes and it wasnt working then why bother, or I could put it down to a blip week and my exercise (which only started walking to work and back 2 weeks ago) is beginning to take effect. My measurements have definitely changed and I feel so much better.
To be honest, I have realised that this process is mine and mine alone. I cannot rely on anyone else to make the changes in my life that I need to. Keep- your head held high, keep going and keep smiling!
You can do it, even with ignorant colleagues. I had a colleague who admitted she was jealous of my progress!!
Good luck, feel free to add me as a friend.
Have a great day
R
) 0 -
Just tell them about the Twinkie diet - :laugh: Some guy went on a diet of cakes / buscuits / doughnuts etc, but kept within his calorie limit - and he lost weight.
I reckon people think if you are losing weight then all you can eat is lettuce & tuna - I must admit I have been there myself. Thank heavens with MFP we can track a wide variety of food, and as long as we come in around our target, then the deficit will lead us to losing weight, especially if we add in a bit of exercise to the mix.
You do what you know works for you, and your reward will be getting healthy, losing weight, and knowing you have control of your own body and choices. 0 -
you say "thanks for the advice but im on top of what i should and shouldnt be eating and why, enjoy the biscuits"0
-
As mean as this sounds; I say to h--l with them and anyone else who gives you a hard time for this. You are taking charge of your life and making yourself feel good. If they have not noticed your change in appearance or are not supportive of you, then you do not need their attention. Good for you on the lifestyle change. You are lucky that you have figured out what is causing you to feel bloated, etc. Many people have no idea to things like this.
Meant to also say that if you want anyone to notice, go shopping for some new that will reveal a difference. But the plus side of buying something new will make you feel good about yourself as it will probably be smaller than what you were wearing.0 -
The moral of the story is.....never EVER tell anyone, ever, not even your closest friends and family, that you are trying to lose weight. Just do it, quietly.0
-
to be honest they are right. You should listen to them more. Overweight people have quite the idea that "skinny" people get or stay that way by accident, but as you are finding out first hand its a continual balancing act. Foods such as biscuits, crisps, all that junk you basically can't eat at all, or very sparingly, (like one of these once a month) otherwise you won't remain slim.
P:eople get tired of overweight people making excuses such as slow metabolisms (baloney) wheat allergies etc being the cause of the overweight.
sorry if this offends but I struggle to see why you had any of the biscuits if you need to lose weight.0 -
Thanks folks, I knew I could count on you lot for support and great advice! It’s true, they’ve only got a snippet of info on my new lifestyle, so I either have to tell them everything or nothing (probably the latter) and keep strong knowing that I’m doing the right thing. And once I’m at goal and they ask me how, I’ll tell them I did the butterfield diet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgwJfbeCeU
hehehe0 -
My father can be like that. He runs marathons. You just have to take it as they are trying to help not hurt. I know it's annoying but you are right when you say they don't understand your take on your diet and you don't owe them an explanation. Just thank them for their advice and move on. :-)0
-
The moral of the story is.....never EVER tell anyone, ever, not even your closest friends and family, that you are trying to lose weight. Just do it, quietly.
I sometimes actually think is is the way to do it!! If in doubt of people reactions and how supportive people will be. My bf is on and off with how supportive he is depending on his mood although id never be able to hide my effort to lose weight whilst living with him, other people, my step mum for example, it was good because it led to a true NSV the other day.
Ignore and if they say anything else in future just say that thanks but you really dont need any of their advice!!
Keep it up0 -
to be honest they are right. You should listen to them more. Overweight people have quite the idea that "skinny" people get or stay that way by accident, but as you are finding out first hand its a continual balancing act. Foods such as biscuits, crisps, all that junk you basically can't eat at all, or very sparingly, (like one of these once a month) otherwise you won't remain slim.
P:eople get tired of overweight people making excuses such as slow metabolisms (baloney) wheat allergies etc being the cause of the overweight.
sorry if this offends but I struggle to see why you had any of the biscuits if you need to lose weight.
While I think this is worded a little harshly, there is an element of truth. No one can eat anything and stay thin, those who don't have to actively work at it are those who are lucky enough not to have any interest in things like biscuits/cake etc. People make narky comments about how little I eat and how I don't have to worry about my weight, and while it's true, I don't "worry" I do have to keep an eye on what I eat, and I am one of those lucky ones who has no interest in empty calories at all. I hate biscuits!0 -
Right...new boss talks about gaining weight so he can buy suits off the rack...I'm wearing a suit today that I bought 20 lbs ago. Thank God for Safety Pins!0
-
to be honest they are right. You should listen to them more. Overweight people have quite the idea that "skinny" people get or stay that way by accident, but as you are finding out first hand its a continual balancing act. Foods such as biscuits, crisps, all that junk you basically can't eat at all, or very sparingly, (like one of these once a month) otherwise you won't remain slim.
P:eople get tired of overweight people making excuses such as slow metabolisms (baloney) wheat allergies etc being the cause of the overweight.
sorry if this offends but I struggle to see why you had any of the biscuits if you need to lose weight.
So you've never seen a skinny person eat a biscuit? I'm not making excuses about my metabolism and I didn't say that wheat allergies made you fat (in fact I didn't even say that I have a wheat allergy). I do lots of exercise and eat a very healthy diet (I cook fresh food.) but I was coming in UNDER my calories and I thought a couple of biccies would be ok, as per the calories in/out equation... i.e. I burnt 400 cals yesterday, so 2 x biscuits at 65 cals each isn't exactly a crime.
It seems you're the type of person that I was having a rant about! Just like my colleagues, you know nothing about my diet and exercise (although you would if you had read the info I put in my original post). So thanks for making me feel like s%$t again!0 -
Try to ignore the comments of your work colleagues. It is understandable that their comments were not well received given that you are well informed about good nutrition and exercise. It must have been all the more difficult for you given that the two biscuits that you did allow yourself were eaten as part of a healthy eating plan. In my book actions speak louder than words, so keep up the good work and let your slimmer body 'do the talking'.0
-
to be honest they are right. You should listen to them more. Overweight people have quite the idea that "skinny" people get or stay that way by accident, but as you are finding out first hand its a continual balancing act. Foods such as biscuits, crisps, all that junk you basically can't eat at all, or very sparingly, (like one of these once a month) otherwise you won't remain slim.
P:eople get tired of overweight people making excuses such as slow metabolisms (baloney) wheat allergies etc being the cause of the overweight.
sorry if this offends but I struggle to see why you had any of the biscuits if you need to lose weight.
This comment is really ignorant. You can have biscuits in moderation and still lose weight. As someone else said, you can have anything in moderation and still lose weight. It may not be your preferred method of weight loss, but who are you to judge someone for having a couple of biscuits?
With that being said, yeah there are actually people out there who have naturally fast metabolisms and overactive thyroids and can eat whatever they want and never gain weight. Just because they are skinny, doesn't mean they are healthy. They are called "skinny fat" as the poster said. Meaning that you can be skinny with a high body fat percentage and high cholesterol, etc etc. So you should really do some educating yourself on the subject before you start judging people.0 -
I would love to work here! Sounds awesome!!!0
-
to be honest they are right. You should listen to them more. Overweight people have quite the idea that "skinny" people get or stay that way by accident, but as you are finding out first hand its a continual balancing act. Foods such as biscuits, crisps, all that junk you basically can't eat at all, or very sparingly, (like one of these once a month) otherwise you won't remain slim.
P:eople get tired of overweight people making excuses such as slow metabolisms (baloney) wheat allergies etc being the cause of the overweight.
sorry if this offends but I struggle to see why you had any of the biscuits if you need to lose weight.
Oh yea and food allergies are not "baloney." I'd like to see you say that to someone who has had a family member die from a food allergy. Honey, they are very real. And yes so are slow metabolisms. Some people have diseases called metabolic disorders. Do some research because these comments are pathetic. I have no tolerance for people like you.0 -
I think, as with most posts, people start to lose focus as to what is really going on.
You said they didn't know about your diet. And why should they? If you are losing weight for them, or anyone else, to approve of you there is a bigger issue.
From their perspective, the were probably trying to help. Men, and I am one, have a tendency to try and fix everything. Some men try to fix things they don't know how to fix, (That is why I have a job) that they weren't asked to fix, or are not wished to fix.
Part of the journey of claiming ourselves and having control of our life is to grow a bit thicker skin. The words coming out of other people's mouths can only hurt us if we give them the power to hurt us. If we hold them in higher esteem than ourselves or seek their approval.
You are the only one that matters, and forget what anyone else says; yes even what I say if it doesn't help.
Grammar edit0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 396 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 967 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions