attraction to overweight people

KSC811 · January 2012

i remember before i gained weight and was thin, i had a big crush on this guy who had a bit of belly, his friend made fun of him and said he had a nasty gut, but i never thought it was nasty. i just thought he was so gorgeous and sweet, he later on went from 205 to 175 lbs because of wrestling.
since i graduated high school, i have liked atheletic guys and big guys. there is a guy now who is adorable, he is overweight a lot more than the guy i liked when i was thin, but he is so cute and so fun.
i always feel nervous about how i look around him, and a friend of my friend was hanging with us, and after showing a pic of the guy to them, she said, "he's fat he probably likes plus size girls"
however i don't think that is true, i've always been told people are attracted to someone who they consider more attractive than them.
but i was wondering for girls and guys, slim or overweight, do you find other overweight people attractive? i'm not judging anyone who isn't, my friend say she has seen overweight people who look good but she has never been attracted to them. i just happen to like toned guys and teddy bear guys. my other friend is the same way, and admitted to me to have had a tiny crush on my uncle who use to have a big belly!

theresa029 · January 2012

well that depends on the person. there are people who really dont look to peoples weight. but there' are a lot who really think that weight matters. because weight really affects people on how they look. weight loss can make you look even more younger. I notice it myself too when I lost more than 15 pounds. I look 10years older when I'm bigger. And I can say I look better than I used to. And attractive people with a huge amount of weight still look good but of course the way they can attract people would be much lesser because more people look up to others appearances..

rainbowbow · January 2012

Of course I find peoples personality and character attractive... But honestly?

No. I don't think I can find someone who clearly has no respect for their body or health attractive. Whether its the case or not, they have a medical issue, emotional problem, etc. Sexually I just don't find that attractive. And part of me has a hard time not judging them.

^dont condemn me! I am not saying that some overweight people are less of a person, don't deserve love, etc. I just can't find someone attractive unless I have the utmost respect for who they are and why they are alive.

PneumaticEnd · January 2012

I'm not really attracted to heavier guys..I never really have been. All of the guys I've dated have been in good shape.. My husband coincidentally was in the best shape of all of them (I swear that had nothing to do with me marrying him lol)

I know a couple of really in shape girls who love heftier men. They say it makes them feel like more of a woman having a man who is bigger to wrap their arms around them and protect them at night. This is perfectly understandable. Some women just love it.

But it doesn't always work that way. I know a severely overweight guy who swears he will never date an overweight girl.. mind you this man is at least 400 lbs if not more.. and if a girl has a little bit of chub to her he considers her ugly..

Yet I know a couple of in shape guys who find heavier girls to be more attractive. They are more physically and sexually attracted to them, especially if they have good curves and a good shape regardless of their weight or size. It's been said that when the male body sees plump breasts and wide hips they are physically attracted to them because it triggers the mating instinct in their brains.. Curvy and full breasted is said to represent fertility.

I guess it really just depends on the person

runnercheryl · January 2012

I'm really attracted to big guys. I have been since I was thin, then I gained weight and now I'm losing it again. I'm also starting to like a slimmer figure a bit more ALONGSIDE a bigger one now, though. I've always hated the toned/muscle look, and that's not changed, but slimmer is becoming more of a thing for me.

My fiance is morbidly obese. On one hand, I love that look, but long-term I'm hoping he succeeds in losing weight because I know that despite the fact that I find his weight attractive, I have the knowledge that I'm probably going to end up a lonely widow and single mum quite early on in life if things don't change for him. Initially, that didn't bother me - in fact, it was why I wasn't really motivated to lose weight myself, but then I made the decision to change so I could allow myself to have a child in future, and as I've lost weight I've realised I really want my fiance to lose weight, too. I think overweight people will always be the people I find the most attractive, but long-term it's not what I really want or need.

JeanetteDee · January 2012

To me, I can/have been attracted to all sizes, although the majority of my ex's were very slender (little muscle and very tall/lanky). There have been a few guys that were that cross of built chest with a beer belly that I was VERY attracted to, but the majority of the guys I have been with have been skinny (which sucks because it makes me feel like the fat one lol).

KSC811 · January 2012

thank you for your opinions, i guess i won't have a boyfriend for awhile, but all that matters right now is that i focus on my health.

secrets_out · January 2012

Kevin james (KING OF QUEENS) big guy but so cute! I guess I have always figured ppl think fit is hot and chunky is adorable or cute lol

OfficerFuzzy · January 2012

I'm more attracted to a guy's voice, so I can trick myself into finding almost anyone attractive.
That being said, I don't really like the big-big look, but I find slightly chunky men adorable.

torie079 · January 2012

I'm not attracted to overweight men...but I have no problem being their friends and hanging out with them... I like people for who they are. If my husband ever gained weight one day(which I'm sure he will lol) I'll still find him attractive and love his looks...but my initial attraction was to his toned and muscular body.

rustyroof · January 2012

you gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you.....

sweetheart03622 · January 2012

I think there's a difference between someone who completely has no self-regard and a "bigger guy". It also depends a lot on how they're built. For me, it's all about the shoulders. A broad pair of shoulders trumps anything. If you're super lean but have the shoulders of a teenage girl, it's not going to happen. But if you have big shoulders and just so happen to have a belly, I can work with that. Granted, *ideally* they have big shoulders and they're super toned... but how often does that happen?!

DancinSMartiPants · January 2012

My husband, who is a super hottie, met and married me when I was over 330 pounds. The thing is, *I* think I'm beautiful. Ok, ok. I know that this is a biased analysis and that I may come off a bit conceited, but I have NEVER wanted for a boyfriend at any size. My personal opinion is that my confidence is attractive in and of itself, and that initial attraction allows men to see other assets like my pretty face, kick-*kitten* boobs, and killer IQ.

jennifershoo · January 2012

You want the truth? No, I'm not sexually attracted to overweight men.

alabughosh · February 2012

I have seen SO many single men who were bigger start dating a thin and healthy girl and they magically lose a ton of weight. My now husband was skin and bones when I met him in 2005 (5'11 135 lbs) but now he weighs more like 155. Sorry to be sexist here, but I don't think that eating is as emotional for men as it is for women. A lot of men just don't know how to feed themselves or are too lazy to think about it. Once they get in a relationship...they are gonna eat whatever you give them! That being said...I prefer leaner men. Its all about the shoulder to hip ratio for me.

Elizabeth_M · February 2012

I think it's quite judgemental to 'like' someone based on their weight, especially if I struggle with it!! But, having said that, you really can't choose who you like, but you shouldn't DISCOUNT someone just based on their weight.

I have dated guys with all different kinds of looks, I truly don't have a type - and I married a guy who has a big belly (more now after 6 years of marriage, lol) and big quarterback shoulders. I like the shoulders, but I know he should lose some weight.

Elizabeth_C34 · February 2012

I'm not attracted to thin men, or men who look thin (even if they are muscular). I've always had a thing for big guys, but more the bulky types than chubby. My ideal males are The Rock, Vin Diesel, and Tom Hardy in Bronson.

Everyone has their tastes and likes. No reason to judge them for it.

I will say that there are a lot of men who do like bigger women. I found this out when I was heavier. Just be confident, and you'll find someone who likes you just the way you are.

pornstarzombie · February 2012

I'm on the fence. I'm 6', so it's really hard for me to find taller guys, and when I do they're usually a bit on the bigger side. Not fat, but not stick thin, either. And they usually are in shape.

I am not really attracted to heavier people if they're not somewhat in shape. I'm not judging them - I'm just NOT attracted to them.

No, I could not see myself being with an extremely over weight person.

PinkEarthMama · February 2012

I do not like skinny guys. I will not be attracted to a man whose rail thin, or even " slender ".

I like husky, big guys.

I like it if they have a reasonable amount of muscle, and a little bit of a gut doesn't turn me off. Obesity turns me off, but my ideal man is neither seriously muscular or a skinny guy.

Hermia76 · February 2012

thank you for your opinions, i guess i won't have a boyfriend for awhile, but all that matters right now is that i focus on my health.

Does this mean you think you won't have a boyfriend because you're overweight? I do hope not. Self-esteem and self-confidence is the most important factor in attractiveness (whether people realise that or not).

If you want my situation...I am short and not overweight but not thin either (5' 3 137). My boyfriend is older than me and quite overweight. He wasn't as overweight when I met him but went through a bad time and put on weight. Do I still love him? Yes. Do I wish he wasn't as big....honestly...yes..BUT...that has more to do with his attitude to himself (which took a beating, hence the weight). What I mean is love is greater than a number. If someone can't really see past that then I guess you have to ask whether you would be compatible/happy.

As far as the 'people go for someone who is more attractive than them' point...attractiveness is subjective and by definition if one person in a couple is more attractive than the other then the other one can't be attracted to someone more attractive (!!? that was tortuous! Does it make sense? lol) Beauty is sooo subjective.

Chin up! x

Smuterella · February 2012

I love skinny guys, preferably skinny with muscles. Yum.

jkshew · February 2012

I would say I typically go for the average size man; however, I have found all different size men attractive. I don't care so much about their weight, as long as they have sexy arms and a nice back!

Honestly, I believe confidence is the single most important factor in being attractive. I have been overweight for the majority of my life (currently 5'2" 183lbs), but I have never had trouble getting the attention of attractive men. It is all about the way you feel about yourself and how you present yourself to the world.

Be positive and smile!!

littlelily613 · February 2012

I am attracted to health, so the answer for me is no. I do not expect anyone to find me attractive until I become healthy either. I believe personality comes first, and that can trump any physical characteristic; however, going by sight alone, I rarely find overweight guys attractive. This is not to do with superficiality either. My thoughts are, IF I ever have a relationship and the man happens to be overweight, there are so many more chances of health complications/early death/etc. If I ever get married and start a family, I want us to all be working towards health and life.

Hambone23 · March 2012

thank you for your opinions, i guess i won't have a boyfriend for awhile, but all that matters right now is that i focus on my health.

Truth be told, even at 300+, I get hit on. I don't know why. I really don't. Some guy stopped me in the grocery store the other day and asked me out for coffee. I've had several long term relationships, been married (the divorce had nothing to do with my weight), and dated quite a bit. Were every one of those guys into BBW? I know for certain most of them were not. I know they didn't date me because of my weight. They dated me for me. In fact, one guy told me that my weight was never an issue because I acted very confident despite being overweight, so he never found it unattractive.

You should not resign yourself to not having a boyfriend. People have different preferences in mates. Some people focus on outer appearance. Some people get past the outer appearance to the inner person. Everyone is different. No one is better than anyone else. It's all subjective. The guy I'm currently living with met me and moved in with me at my current 300+ weight. He didn't care. He still doesn't. He'd love me if I didn't lose weight. But he likes that I'm trying to be healthier. He's got a gut himself, and now he wants to be healthier too. But he always stresses the health aspect--not losing weight.

For me, personally, you could be a skinny guy and treat me like ****. Or you could be an overweight guy and make me feel incredibly loved and special. It's about how the person treats me and makes me feel. Weight, looks, other superficial things fall away when you truly love someone. I wasn't attracted to my ex-husband at first, but when I came to love him, he was the most handsome man in the world to me. (Maybe not in the world of Hollywood, but in my life, certainly.) Don't be mopey about your weight and think you'll never have a boyfriend. Men can sense that. It's not attractive. The men I've known like confident women, regardless of shape or size. So be confident. Be independent. Those attributes are attractive to almost everyone.

LWriter · March 2012

thank you for your opinions, i guess i won't have a boyfriend for awhile, but all that matters right now is that i focus on my health.

Truth be told, even at 300+, I get hit on. I don't know why. I really don't. Some guy stopped me in the grocery store the other day and asked me out for coffee. I've had several long term relationships, been married (the divorce had nothing to do with my weight), and dated quite a bit. Were every one of those guys into BBW? I know for certain most of them were not. I know they didn't date me because of my weight. They dated me for me. In fact, one guy told me that my weight was never an issue because I acted very confident despite being overweight, so he never found it unattractive.

You should not resign yourself to not having a boyfriend. People have different preferences in mates. Some people focus on outer appearance. Some people get past the outer appearance to the inner person. Everyone is different. No one is better than anyone else. It's all subjective. The guy I'm currently living with met me and moved in with me at my current 300+ weight. He didn't care. He still doesn't. He'd love me if I didn't lose weight. But he likes that I'm trying to be healthier. He's got a gut himself, and now he wants to be healthier too. But he always stresses the health aspect--not losing weight.

For me, personally, you could be a skinny guy and treat me like ****. Or you could be an overweight guy and make me feel incredibly loved and special. It's about how the person treats me and makes me feel. Weight, looks, other superficial things fall away when you truly love someone. I wasn't attracted to my ex-husband at first, but when I came to love him, he was the most handsome man in the world to me. (Maybe not in the world of Hollywood, but in my life, certainly.) Don't be mopey about your weight and think you'll never have a boyfriend. Men can sense that. It's not attractive. The men I've know like confident women, regardless of shape or size. So be confident. Be independent. Those attributes are attractive to almost everyone.

I LOVE this!

You go, girl!!!

HMD7703 · March 2012

I am SUPER torn on this subject. (And a bit of a hypocrite, as well)

I love love love a chubby guy (not obese). They are so cuddly and big. It makes me feel feminine.
However, fit men are sooooo sexy and easy on the eyes. Some can be super cuddly.

On a woman, I dont like chubby/fat/big/curvy at all. I do like the curvy hourglass figure but most women that claim to be curvy, are anything BUT curvy. I like to see fit, thin or sexy hourglass shaped women. Hypocrite? Yes. But it is only my opinion and I do not force it on anyone else.

MaraDiaz · March 2012

I have learned only one thing about being attracted to different types of guys. If I'm attracted to a man I normally wouldn't be, for no particular reason I can figure out, he will turn out to be pure evil.

My theory is, evil men come from a long line of evil men who have developed a special super attraction pheromone as a survival trait so that societies don't remove their evilness from the gene pool.

Someday this theory will be a published, proven, peer reviewed fact, so you all can thank me now for warning you ahead of time.

:laugh:

Yes, I'm joking! (I hope so anyway.)

I tend to like them on the skinny side, but with many exceptions. Some of them were pretty evil though, come to think of it.

mandacloye · March 2012

You go girl! Attraction is all about personal decisions! It is hard to know why each person finds someone of ANY size attractive. I am just thankful that there is someone out there for us all.

I married a man who was 420+ lbs.when we met. He was headed for bariatric bypass and is now 270+ give or take. He has hanging loose skin all over his body from having been morbidly obese all his life. We have only been married a little under 2 years and we were both into our 40's when we married. Having said all this, I love him. Period. He will never be fit or without obvious physical reminders of his life as an over weight man. My family loves him. He is kind, thoughtful, tender, makes me feel protected, FUN...all the things any woman looks for in a partner.

I myself, while making the concerted effort to loose my many unnatural pounds will also never be a fit hot bod. But he loves me.

So I guess we both have what we wanted/needed. Someone who loves us AS WE ARE.......willing to allow improvement.

Let yourself be attracted to whoever you are attracted to, even if that changes over time. And don't let others determine that for you. You may just miss out on a wonderful relationship if you do.

Good luck in all you do.

nnylee · March 2012

I'm not sure. Sometimes I'll be like, "That guy is cute." But I've never actually dated a husky/overweight guy. My current boyfriend is fit and my past boyfriends have been normal. I actually don't think I like boys that are skinnier than me either.

attraction to overweight people

Replies

Categories