Homeless.. Ethical straw poll here. Thanks x

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  • lexidell46
    lexidell46 Posts: 143
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    I work with the homeless.I try to set up housing and other services for them. But the problem is we have lost 60% of our low income housing sense the 80's and the need has gotten greater. Also Government and privet funding is being reduced at an alarming rate. with the biggest cuts to mental health. I would contact our politicians and see where they stand on homeless issues. Also their is a lot of places that have no camping laws, that include no sitting or laying down in public paces. like parks.there for making it harder for the homeless to get housing our jobs because they have a criminal record for these two crimes. I can go on more. but I will stand off of my soap box now. p.s. 90% of the homeless are not seen by the public. and before you go handing out money to people look how they are dressed. most of your sign flyers are using the money to buy drugs or alcohol.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    I would imagine he's grateful someone's interacting with him and treating him like a human being - good on you. I'd continue to ask if there's anything you can get him because it might be difficult for him to go into shops with his dog and because some people might treat him as scum just because he's unfortunate enough to have ended up on the streets. If he just wants the money, then it's up to him how he spends it - I don't think anyone should dictate what homeless people spend any money they get on; if I was unfortunate enough to end up on the streets, damn right I'd want to get wasted now and again. Keep up the good work xx

    Absolutely. While I try to give food, unless the person is obviously a drug user or a drunk I do sometimes give money - as you say, while I do not want to be an enabler, its not up to to me to dictate what they spend their money on
  • lexidell46
    lexidell46 Posts: 143
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    I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

    I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol). :)

    It is an illness you are so very right, it's progressive, takes it's time..... very few people would happily eat rat poison.
    Most of the homeless I work with became drug and alcohol addicted after becoming homeless to numb the pain and shame.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I think giving a helping hand in the way of food is a great thing to do and also since you are friendly enough to talk with him maybe try to find out his circumstances so that maybe something could be done to help him out of the situation he is in.:smile:
  • woopidydoo
    woopidydoo Posts: 79 Member
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    I hope that dog gets enough to eat. I hope that man eats enough, too.. but I really can't stand to see a hungry animal.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    I entered into reading this thread with some amount of nervousness. People are often so judgemental and uncaring about the homeless. I have a close family member who was a drug addict and homeless. There are a lot of contributing factors to his addiction and homelessness. Addiction is a mental illness and none of us can understand the 'why' and how hard it is to give up unless we have also been drug addicts. Being on the streets is definately not conducive to giving up. I am sure we have all been addicted to something and many should understand how hard it is to give things up, even those things that are not actually physically addictive like drugs.

    I have to say that I am writing this rather emotionally, The caring and respect you have all shown in your posts has been very touching to me. .
  • Nikkiray32
    Nikkiray32 Posts: 123
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    I vowed myself years ago... I will give clothes and food to the homeless, but not money.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with giving him and his dog a meal. You did something nice, and he's probably very grateful.
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
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    You are definitely NOT a sap! That was an incredibly beautiful thing to do. And i think it's senseless to worry over what would be done with any money you would give him. Even if he is an alcoholic or drug addict. Many of us here could be considered food addicts but we don't think that is evil . . . only addictions that may lead to homelessness!

    A friend recently told me she worried over a similar decision and in the end, she embraced the fact that she did a good thing based on good motives. If the gift was misused, that makes the receiver the sap and the baddie, not you. Your intentions were loving.

    And i've never really thought of stopping to ask if anything was needed or of preparing in advance to have packets of food and other necessities to give instead of cash. What a great idea!! I especially like the idea of wipes, toothbrush and toothpaste and tylenol. Surely even the homeless need a pain killer everyone once in a while!

    You, along with so many of the responders here, have inspired me!

    Thank you.
  • milphog
    milphog Posts: 15 Member
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    I once gave a homeless person money and watched him cross the street, go to a liquor store and return with a bottle of hooch. I never give money anymore. Not all but some of the homeless are there because of addictions (alcohol,gambling,drugs) and giving them money is enabling them. Not to mention scammers who take advantage of those with a good heart. Give them food, clothing or even a gift certificate to a resteraunt. If that is truly what they want/need they will be appreciative ,you will have done a great deed and you won't have to wonder if the money was used inappropriately.
    If you really want to give cash then give it to a homeless shelter or homeless organization and you will be assured it is being used for the right reasons.
  • Kori18
    Kori18 Posts: 48
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    Have you ever striked up a conversation with him? I'm curious to why he is homeless. You did the right thing by asking him what he wanted while you were shopping. I'm sure he appreciated it. It has to be hard on a man to have to "beg" for his next meal.

    I heard once in Sociology that like 60% of the homeless have a mental illness :/
  • tripitena
    tripitena Posts: 554 Member
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    A dilemma I pondered for a while.

    I used to give money, particularly to those with signs claiming to be a Vet , traveling or with a hound. Then I noticed a lot of these "travelers" must be local as they are alternating where they beg and don't seem to be ever "traveling" anywhere but the next off ramp or Walmart exit the next morning. I also noticed that the "I am a homeless Vet" signs were often weighed down by rocks in the evening and a new face would be holding the same sign the next day claiming to be a Vet. That was when I stopped giving any money period(as the wife, sister, daughter, grand- daughter & great- grand -daughter of Veterans, this made me positively enraged).

    Now I carry packets of Tender Vittles type dog food and give those when there is a dog. I have also bought .99 burgers and such & given them to ppl standing at Walmart exits.

    Food, but no more money.
  • klynn81
    klynn81 Posts: 178 Member
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    That was very kind of you!!

    I just had this same discussion about the homeless, and giving to them with some of my co-workers the other evening. I grew up in a very small town in the states so while I'm sure there were plenty of homeless people elsewhere, I never seen one until I moved to a much bigger city. I was appalled at how the people here have become so desensitized to the homeless, and the remarks that they make. Even after living here for 7yrs it still breaks my heart when i see these people, some of them true have very bad addictions, passed out on benches or the ground, dirty, unkept. I just can't ever imagine....and I'm sure neither did they. I always remind people...something in their life was missing, something went wrong, because no one grows up thinking 'hey i wanna be homeless some day'.

    We have donated several bags of clothing to the homeless shelter here, and the last time we went was at dinner time and I was almost brought to tears when I saw just how many homeless people there were waiting for their meal. Many of them, the same age as my husband and I. They watched as we unloaded garbage bag after garbage bag of clothing, many of them giving many thanks for the clothes.

    You don't have to have money to help, there are other ways you can give.
  • luwalmsley1983
    luwalmsley1983 Posts: 98
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    You are awesome. I will buy food, usually not give cash. We offered a lady food once and she said she'd rather have cash. Needless to say we did not help her. The next older gentleman was more than happy w/ food.
    I also want to take this time to remind everyone here in the states that the National Letter Carriers Association annual food drive is coming up on May 12th, 2012. Please, please give all you can.. The food we as your mail people collect stays locally and helps so many people out. We chose May to stock the local pantries because school will be done soon, and so many children only get to eat at school w/ the hot lunch program. So fill as many grocery bags as you can afford to and leave by your mail boxes on May 12th, your mail person (or a volunteer) will pick it up and make sure it gets to a local food pantry:) Remember no glass items and please non-perishables. Have a great day!!!

    BUMP for this cause guys!!!!
  • luwalmsley1983
    luwalmsley1983 Posts: 98
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    You are awesome. I will buy food, usually not give cash. We offered a lady food once and she said she'd rather have cash. Needless to say we did not help her. The next older gentleman was more than happy w/ food.
    I also want to take this time to remind everyone here in the states that the National Letter Carriers Association annual food drive is coming up on May 12th, 2012. Please, please give all you can.. The food we as your mail people collect stays locally and helps so many people out. We chose May to stock the local pantries because school will be done soon, and so many children only get to eat at school w/ the hot lunch program. So fill as many grocery bags as you can afford to and leave by your mail boxes on May 12th, your mail person (or a volunteer) will pick it up and make sure it gets to a local food pantry:) Remember no glass items and please non-perishables. Have a great day!!!


    Please add me honey - I'm sure we'd get on great and would like to share your journey but MFP won't let me add as I have sent out a few requests already!!!
  • luwalmsley1983
    luwalmsley1983 Posts: 98
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    I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

    I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol). :)

    It is an illness you are so very right, it's progressive, takes it's time..... very few people would happily eat rat poison.
    Most of the homeless I work with became drug and alcohol addicted after becoming homeless to numb the pain and shame.

    I understand that... they are also the most vulnerable. Lets put it this way I am intelligent - but I thought I was loding my MIND at that time I did NOT know there were services to help me. People get trapped, I was lost, with Gosd help I have been saved - I am not special I imagine a lot of people out there feel how I did. WHAT DO WE DO!!!
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    I applaud you. Big heart. Yes, it could be anyone of us.
  • luwalmsley1983
    luwalmsley1983 Posts: 98
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    I work with the homeless.I try to set up housing and other services for them. But the problem is we have lost 60% of our low income housing sense the 80's and the need has gotten greater. Also Government and privet funding is being reduced at an alarming rate. with the biggest cuts to mental health. I would contact our politicians and see where they stand on homeless issues. Also their is a lot of places that have no camping laws, that include no sitting or laying down in public paces. like parks.there for making it harder for the homeless to get housing our jobs because they have a criminal record for these two crimes. I can go on more. but I will stand off of my soap box now. p.s. 90% of the homeless are not seen by the public. and before you go handing out money to people look how they are dressed. most of your sign flyers are using the money to buy drugs or alcohol.
    Hi there, this guy is polite, he's not dressed BAD but not great ( charity stores?) - I understand that it's a crime to live outside but when the community doesn't give beds for people inside what the heck are they to do. It's madness. I am mentally ill. If you read my posts on this thread and add me you will see I have been very sick, I have avoided this and I am LUCKY. How do we fix this? Its a worldwide issue - and it's NOT right xx
  • ColetteDuchnowski
    ColetteDuchnowski Posts: 80
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    I think you did the right thing. He will think of your kindness and maybe not buy that booze or whatever. He knows you care. Just see Jesus in him. You feed the poor, you feed Jesus.
  • sheepysaccount
    sheepysaccount Posts: 608 Member
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    I've heard of people asking for money wanting to spend it on food or a hot drink. If you however offer your packed sandwich they throw it in your face and call you stupid. those people can starve for all I care because they want the money for booze or smokes. But the people that will appreciate food are the "good" ones. Like the guy in your story. He was fine with getting food and something for his dog. I think you did a great job.

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