When your friends eat a LOT of CRAP
skinnylove00
Posts: 662 Member
Here is what typical meals for three of my friends looks like: An entire sleeve of Lorna Doone shortbread cookies, 5 slices of triple pepperoni buffaque (buffalo and bbq) chicken pizza from dominoes, and an ENTIRE FAMILY-SIZED BAG OF FUNYUNS (dinner)
A roll of uncooked cookie dough ice cream, a family-sized bag of cheetos, two cannolis, and two huge st. pattys day cupcakes WITH a shamrock shake (that was just dessert...after steak and potatoes)
My other friend even deep fried a big mac, wrapped it in bacon, and *gag* ate the entire thing. Oh, and heres the kicker: NONE OF THEM ARE OVERWEIGHT WHATSOEVER. :noway:
I love my friends so much, but it makes me uncomfortable when I am eating a salad and they are eating junk. The problem is that they pressure me to eat with them a LOT, saying things like ~just try it, whats it going to do to you~. Believe me, I LOVE TO EAT, but eating junky does not appeal to me. I just dont LIKE eating uncooked cookie dough but they try to guilt me into eating it (you go to the gym everyday, you always eat healthy, etc.). Its gotten to the point where I made up fake food allergies just so they could stop shoving their cheesecake down my throat.
I know a little junk cant hurt, I just hate the way it makes me feel. I dont know what to tell them anymore, eating out with them is always uncomfortable because they always make me feel GUILTY for eating healthy. What can I say to them to make them just back off?!?!:explode:
A roll of uncooked cookie dough ice cream, a family-sized bag of cheetos, two cannolis, and two huge st. pattys day cupcakes WITH a shamrock shake (that was just dessert...after steak and potatoes)
My other friend even deep fried a big mac, wrapped it in bacon, and *gag* ate the entire thing. Oh, and heres the kicker: NONE OF THEM ARE OVERWEIGHT WHATSOEVER. :noway:
I love my friends so much, but it makes me uncomfortable when I am eating a salad and they are eating junk. The problem is that they pressure me to eat with them a LOT, saying things like ~just try it, whats it going to do to you~. Believe me, I LOVE TO EAT, but eating junky does not appeal to me. I just dont LIKE eating uncooked cookie dough but they try to guilt me into eating it (you go to the gym everyday, you always eat healthy, etc.). Its gotten to the point where I made up fake food allergies just so they could stop shoving their cheesecake down my throat.
I know a little junk cant hurt, I just hate the way it makes me feel. I dont know what to tell them anymore, eating out with them is always uncomfortable because they always make me feel GUILTY for eating healthy. What can I say to them to make them just back off?!?!:explode:
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Replies
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BUMPITY BOPPITY BOO lol i actually really need help on this0
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BUMPITY BOPPITY BOO lol i actually really need help on this
I had the same issue this past week! I knew my friend was a little junky but when we spent 3 days in the mountains I was really taken back. I would get fruit at the grocery store and she got donuts and candy. Then she would get fudge and s'mores and ask me to eat them with her right after I had explained my healthy lifestyle to her. It drove me nuts! I understand completely where your coming from. It's really hard. But she isn't skinny.0 -
My roommates in college did this a lot.. I ended up gaining weight because having all the junk in the apartment was a trigger and too much temptation. Now that I have my own place it's great that I can control everything that I put in my mouth.
Anyways, this reminds me of a friend of my mom's she had growing up. She was teeny tiny and would have regular sodas and junk food everyday and lord knows where it would go! Her metabolism would just burn it up in seconds. Fast forward 40 years - she ain't stick thin. She didn't change her eating habits and she is obese and has a lot of health issues. So it will catch up with your friends, and if they don't gain weight, you can only imagine what it is doing to their insides. There's a lot of power in the saying "you are what you eat".
For right now just try to relax and not take it so seriously. If they really start to pressure you and you can't take it anymore - get new friends, it's not worth it. Your health and happiness > family size bag of funyuns (they still make those?!). People don't want to feel guilty about something they're doing that they know is bad for them - so its like they know its bad for them and they want to make themselves feel better by bringing you down with them. That's not friendship last I checked. Anyways, try to be teflon and just let it slide right off when it comes at you. I hope that helped :ohwell:0 -
I laughed when you mentioned the cookie dough, I have a skinny friend who always has a tub of cookie dough in her fridge.
I just say no thank you; I definitely get crapped on for it, but after a few minutes they go back to eating what they're eating, and I go back to eating mine.0 -
Just tell them you're trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Going to the gym, but eating junk food is not helping your body IF you did that.
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they might not be overweight but are they healthy? It does not sound like proper nutrition AT ALL!!! Since they try to pressure you so much, pressure them a little into keeping their own food diaries so they can see for themselves how many calories, fats, & sodium they are putting into their bodies. I bet they would be shocked!0
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I've found that stroking someone's ego a little can help them back off of you. Just saying, "I'm sorry I'm not as lucky as you, with your metabolism and your natural twiggy-ness." Even if it's not 100% true, people respond better to 'compliments' than to outright resistance.0
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It'll come back to bite them in the butt later in life. I've known people who, in their teens and twenties could eat anything and not gain a pound but once they got older, not only did the weight start coming on, but their health deteriorated.
If they want you involved in that eating binge, tell them no. You don't have to give a reason, you just don't want what they've got. If they keep it up just tell them that you don't ask them to eat a celery stalk so don't have them asking you to eat a fried burger. It's called mutual respect.0 -
Get them all together and make your case. Let them know when they tempt you, they are hurting you and that you are very serious about getting healthy. Try to do this at a time when you are not "at the table". If they are good friends, they will take you seriously and support you. If not, you should find someone else for dinner companions and save these friends for non-eating activities. Something similar to this happened to me. I had the conversation and just ONE of my friends took it very seriously. When the others would say "oh, it won't hurt you just this once", she would tell them not to push me, then take the menu and say "here, let me help you pick out something good". She was no expert in finding something healthy, but she would suggest something and listen when I told her if it was healthy or not. She learned more so she could be more supportive. What a good friend. I miss her. I hope you have at least one friend like her. :happy: :happy:0
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This happened to me yesterday actually. I was going to order a nice salad at lunch and my friend who knows I've decided to take on a healthier lifestyle guiltied me into getting this "brute" sandwich (a whole lot of gross calories) and I ended up not even being able to eat it all because of how greasy it was.
I think I've realized that when some one does that, they are not your friend, they are just jealous and do not want you to get healthier... Made me realize a lot of things about me "friend" anyways.0 -
It'll come back to bite them in the butt later in life. I've known people who, in their teens and twenties could eat anything and not gain a pound but once they got older, not only did the weight start coming on, but their health deteriorated.
If they want you involved in that eating binge, tell them no. You don't have to give a reason, you just don't want what they've got. If they keep it up just tell them that you don't ask them to eat a celery stalk so don't have them asking you to eat a fried burger. It's called mutual respect.
Exactly.
You should feel neither remorse nor obligation when people throw garbage (be it food or rhetoric) at you.
Now, if its someone I really care about doing this, I may respond by trying to be energetically coercive to the point of sarcasm in trying to get them to get them to eat a salad, otherwise, don't burn any calories trying to worry about it.
Smile and take a bite of your Vegemite sandwich.0 -
Hahaha my friends do exactly the same thing. Its horrible because they will eat untill they're stomachs can't handle anymore and with their great metabolism, they wouldn't even gain a pound!! I feel so guilty because i always give in and end up regretting it, gaining weight,ruining my ongoing diet, feeling fat and ashamed of myself for the rest of the day! But instead now i try to tell them, ' no thanks, a second on the lips, forever on the hips girl'. When i say this, they even second guess themselves about gorging down that last row of cookies !
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I have friends that live very indulgent lifestyles, they don't eat a lot of crap, but they love their heavy cream in their coffee or their fatty bacon and omlets- toast loaded with butter, decadent deserts, the list goes on, and they don't exercise regularly. Some of them are overweight, others are thin, but struggling with their cholesterol, or blood pressure- they are heart attacks waiting to happen. I have HBP and high cholesterol in my family. I try to make healthy choices, I wont eat all the crap they do, like you said little indulgences are fine, but not a daily thing. I don't particularly want to ruin my heart.
Most people have some health related issues in their family history, HPB, diabetes, cholesterol whatever. Let them know that this is what you are trying to avoid. I've been known to tell people that I can hear their arteries screaming from across the table by what they are eating. If they give you crap, you can give them crap back too. I think it's ok for you to be vocal about what you do and don't want to put into your body. Don't feel bad about it. If anything, I'd be worried about them and their future health.0 -
My friends are EXACTLY the same way. Same with my cousins. They can eat like crap, exercise minimally or not at all, and be the perfect size. It is incredibly unfair.
They always patronize me with comments like "Woooow Tina, good for you, eating so healthy..." as they stuff the taco bell in their mouth or make fun with comments like "rabbit food much?" I hear ya. it gets irritating when you're trying so hard to be healthy and other people aren't yet they look fantastic on top of drinking like sailors.
Life is unfair... c'est la vie!0 -
This is why I don't have friends, haha. Just kidding. Actually, most of my friends just leave me alone because I am vegan. The other morning, after a night of heavy drinking (ugh), my cousin-in-law made Bisquick pancakes with milk and eggs (I mean Bisquick isn't THAT bad...), but I just refused to eat them because of my diet/lifestyle. He kept trying to pressure me, but I held my ground. I wouldn't have wanted them anyway. Granted, I ate about a cup of peanut butter in my drunken state the night before, but it could have been MUCH, MUCH worse. I can totally relate to you on this, but honestly, if they're REALLY going to judge you on our food choices, they're kind of ****ty friends. To each their own. If they can't deal with it, then it's clearly their problem, not yours. Just make sure you have SOME leeway when it comes to eating--healthy eating is awesome, but getting to the point where you absolutely can't eat anything other than salad can really sabotage your weight-maintaining goals. I've learned this the hard way over the past few weeks.0
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here the easy answer... TELL THEM THE TRUTH! all of it, just like you told us. they're your friends so they should love and respect you. if not, i'd seriously think about finding new people to share your time with.0
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I've found that stroking someone's ego a little can help them back off of you. Just saying, "I'm sorry I'm not as lucky as you, with your metabolism and your natural twiggy-ness." Even if it's not 100% true, people respond better to 'compliments' than to outright resistance.
Great advice!0 -
Let them. Don't feel guilty. You're doing what's best for you.
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Seriously, you just have to let it go and stop thinking about it. I am CONSTANTLY surrounded by people who don't eat like me, mostly because I am vegan. And I don't care at all. I watch them eat whatever they want, but I also eat whatever I want as well. You need to learn to join in with your own foods that you eat, rather than sit and watch them eat foods you don't eat. It's all psychological in my opinion and you need to get over it and enjoy life. When you are with friends/family, you need to stop thinking "I can't and I won't" and start thinking "I can and I will."0
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You can't make them do anything, so you can either continue to let it bug you or not.What can I say to them to make them just back off?!?!:explode:0 -
I never realized there was such peer pressure to eat garbage. Thankfully I have not experienced that. Next time tell them that you will stick with your healthier foods so you can outrun them when the zombies come.
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Next time tell them that you will stick with your healthier foods so you can outrun them when the zombies come.
^ This.0 -
You remind them kindly that you didnt lose 19 pounds "taking it easy"... and although you could probably "afford" to eat bad once and a while, its a mental thing also. Eating bad isnt just bad for your body but after you've gone thru the struggle of losing that much weight and finally being healthy... theres a lingering "guilt" (for lack of a better word) in your head because you've spent a lot of time and patience training yourself to get away from that.
The good thing about fast food now a days, there are also healthy options... and while i'm sure you probably do reach for that i totally understand what you mean about feeling bad for eating healthy around them. Try to look at it differently... instead of feeling bad about eating healthy when they are not- hold your head up high and with confidence tell them, you should try this too If anything you stand up... strike a sexy pose and say, "THIS DOESN'T COME FOR FREE!"
Fat people arent the only ones who should eat healthy!! My 21 yr old SKINNY cousin got hit with diabetes. His body gave out while he was driving... if he didnt die from a car accident he was very close to dying from the diabetes that day. He ate mc donalds 2-3 times a day, and somehow remained skinny.
I hope you can overcome this. Either that or make healthy friends!!!!! Good luck girl. BTW, you are an inspiration to others like me who are still in the begining phases of what you've "already done". 0 -
Just remind yourself "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and reach for the fruit and veges. Good Luck !!!!0
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Urgh! I have the same problems. It's even worse when you're sharing a fridge with them because it's there all the time. However, I see nothing really wrong with pulling the allergy card... but even better is being honest about how it makes you feel. It really is crappy energy that makes you feel sluggish and uncomfortable. I am also a runner (yeah, you'd think I didn't have to lose weight, but I do)... and I just say that I can't run on that kind of energy. Eventually, they just accept it and sharing meals isn't such a big deal anymore. Plus, some of your good habits will rub off on them. 0
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I don't understand why it bugs you so much. You know what's best for you and you're doing it, so don't worry about it. Or are you feeling deprived in some way?0
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Been there, done that. They aren't being friends, they're being selfish and disrespecting what you've already told them over and over. It's up to you to either suck it up and let them continue to disrespect you, stop hanging out with them, or tell them flat out to f*cking knock it off.
If you like them and they are good friends (ala they aren't frenemy's trying to sabotage you, just friends being ignorant) be an adult and tell them to knock it off and the consequences if they don't. Ala you won't be able to hang with them, etc. They probably still won't get it for a few weeks/months, it's like training a child, but if they are true friends they will and you'll see their behavior change.
In my case, my skinny friend changed her behavior. She still slips once in a while, but 99% of the time she's fine now.0 -
Less is more when dealing with someone else's behavior. Don't explain or give long treatises on your likes and dislikes or diet. Just say, "nah" or "no thanks". They will ask again....smile and shake the head. Redirect by changing the subject, if possible.
The thing is, resistance sparks more resistance. There are no magic words. So "no thanks" is best. Although folks certainly make different food choices....your friend *knows* a family size bag of funyins is bad! So there is no "good" answer...anything you say will make her defensive because she already feels a little guilty. (because really, when I am truly enjoying myself without guilt? I don't *want* you to share it. More for me! )
If you refuse to engage, consistently, then over time, she'll stop asking. Trust me.0 -
My friends do this.
They bring cookies to have at break or decide to go on a trip to Greggs, Burger King or Subway for lunch.
Just tell them you don't like the food they are eating!
I have been eating healthier and I can honestly say junk food that I used to crave just doesn't appeal to me anymore. Especially if it's deep fried or covered in greece!0 -
I love the advice in here ... I have a close friend who, if she knows I'm "on the wagon," she gives me lots and lots of advice how to lose weight.
She on the other hand lost weight by downing ADD medicine and not eating. It kills me, because she'll call me from the Taco Bell drive thru, and I hear her orders, and then she'll lecture me about healthy eating. I asked her a couple of weeks ago how she lost her recent 5 pounds (she's an inch or 2 shorter than me, and at least 20 pounds below my goal weight), and she told me she doesn't exercise or eat right, it just comes off. That she'd like to gain weight, actually.
It's super frustrating (I guess I'm commiserating rather than helping)...0
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