Question for the ladies

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oldbaptistadam
oldbaptistadam Posts: 62
in Chit-Chat
Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do....

How do you get your SO to really feel, and believe with certainty, that you find them beautiful...and that they truly are. What is the best way(s) to raise their self esteem. There are times I feel like I'm living in the old 1990's country song, "She Don't Know She's Beautiful."
Got any pointers you are willing to share? Come on now, don't be stingy with the secrets.
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  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    Don't tell her over and over... if you are too repetitive she will not believe you are serious. Stare at her. Seriously (not psycho like:wink: ). When I catch my husband looking at me, just looking and smiling, I feel more beautiful than any other time :heart:
  • oldbaptistadam
    oldbaptistadam Posts: 62
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    Don't tell her over and over... if you are too repetitive she will not believe you are serious. Stare at her. Seriously (not psycho like:wink: ). When I catch my husband looking at me, just looking and smiling, I feel more beautiful than any other time :heart:

    Ok....note to self... Close mouth, commence leering.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    You don`t,just treat her like she is,respect her and love her.
  • vjrose
    vjrose Posts: 809 Member
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    I have to admit, the warm fuzzies commence when I see my hubby just looking at me with that little cat that ate the canary grin :)
  • giselle9938
    giselle9938 Posts: 194 Member
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    Don't tell her over and over... if you are too repetitive she will not believe you are serious. Stare at her. Seriously (not psycho like:wink: ). When I catch my husband looking at me, just looking and smiling, I feel more beautiful than any other time :heart:

    agreed, small details are better than words
  • Fromtheislands
    Fromtheislands Posts: 2
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    Sorry to disagree with other poster, but I'd say dont let one day pass without telling her that she is beautiful in one way or another. Pet names are nice too. I never tire of being greeted with "Hi beautiful".
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    I think that for her to really believe it, it has to come from inside of her. But, it helps to tell her at times where she feels completely not beautiful. When I get home from running, he thinks I look beautiful. When I first wake up, no makeup, no hair done- he thinks I am beautiful. When I am standing in the kitchen with feeding the kids and looking completely exasperated (I have twins- meal times can be nuts), he thinks I look beautiful. It means a lot more at those times than when I spent an hour attempting to look beautiful.
  • Pfauxmeh
    Pfauxmeh Posts: 259
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    My husband makes me feel beautiful when he can just hold me and tell me he's so lucky to have me. He makes it about him and how happy he is to be married to his best friend and etc etc. Then again, it's not all about him...don't want to make him out to be a narcissist! XD

    I hope I made any sense.

    The quiet moments are always best. ^_^
  • Katiemarie4488
    Katiemarie4488 Posts: 242 Member
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    Well, Im a sucker for flowers. Random Tuesday night flowers, with the little card thing, and a note that says something, Smile Beautiful, I Love you! :)

    You can get a bouquet of roses at the grocery store for $25. Heck, you can even get carnations... does not matter... its the thought that counts, and the random suprise. :)
  • mandygal13
    mandygal13 Posts: 219 Member
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    Grab her and kiss her (really kiss her) for no reason, tell her you love her, and then resume whatever you were doing. It will catch her off guard, and make her feel desirable, sexy and beautiful.
  • Pinkmaddycat
    Pinkmaddycat Posts: 175 Member
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    I agree its about the brief adoring glances, also ever so slight touches of affection that just are not expected or required but done just because he wants to
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    when she does something like, oh, putting clothes in the dryer, grab her forcefully, throw her over the dryer, tear free whatever she's got on and have your way with her. afterwards, when she is looking at you with a bit of surprise on her face, say "sorry - i took one look at you and couldn't help myself."

    that usually makes me feel pretty awesome about myself.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Treat her like a lady. and like the other poster said...A nice inviting smile as she walks by lets her know you think she is beautiful.

    Nothing wrong with letting her know when she looks nice or when she smells pretty..we all like to hear it. Oh and sex with the lights on so you can see how amazing she is .

    n=make sure she knows that no one could ever hold a candle to her
  • mandygal13
    mandygal13 Posts: 219 Member
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    It means a lot more at those times than when I spent an hour attempting to look beautiful.

    But when she does spend an hour attempting to look beautiful, acknowledge that...tell her she looks "exceptionally" beautiful, and you appreciate her.
  • abnerner
    abnerner Posts: 452 Member
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    I personally have very very low self-esteem and my boyfriend is always telling me I am beautiful, sexy, hot, etc and I still don't believe him.

    I know that HE thinks those things, but I don't believe those things about myself.

    I certainly appreciate being told or having little things done to show it, but until I start to feel better about myself, I won't feel these things for myself.
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 749 Member
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    I agree it's not about what you say...tho that helps. lol I agree with the above comments.
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
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    I take it as being the most genuine when it's out of the blue.

    during sex? shut up :)
    during a planned, fancy date? whatever.
    during a commercial break with my hair a mess, sipping hot cocoa?? I believe him
  • oldbaptistadam
    oldbaptistadam Posts: 62
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    when she does something like, oh, putting clothes in the dryer, grab her forcefully, throw her over the dryer, tear free whatever she's got on and have your way with her. afterwards, when she is looking at you with a bit of surprise on her face, say "sorry - i took one look at you and couldn't help myself."

    that usually makes me feel pretty awesome about myself.

    Is there any requirement that the dryer be off, or is it ok if the dryer is still running at the time?
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    when she does something like, oh, putting clothes in the dryer, grab her forcefully, throw her over the dryer, tear free whatever she's got on and have your way with her. afterwards, when she is looking at you with a bit of surprise on her face, say "sorry - i took one look at you and couldn't help myself."

    that usually makes me feel pretty awesome about myself.

    Is there any requirement that the dryer be off, or is it ok if the dryer is still running at the time?

    I think the dryer running is an added bonus!
  • Quel1970
    Quel1970 Posts: 91 Member
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    Maybe show her this post? The fact that you went out f your way to figure out how to make her feel beautiful is pretty impressive, IMHO.

    I have to agree with the poster that said don't say it over and over, it comes off as insincere. BUT- women are different. When my SO looks at me from across the room with nothing but love and adoration, I MELT!

    I know this may seem just absolutely CRAZY.... but how about asking her what makes her feel beautiful?

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