Why do some believe their way is better??

amoffatt
amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
edited November 12 in Health and Weight Loss
I am one of those who believe that each person loses weight differently, whether it is eat healthy and exercise or some sort of diet program. Although, when someone asks me what I am doing to lose weight and I say eat right, less, and exercise, they (usualluy those on some sort of diet program) frown at me and try to sell me the plan they are on. Stating, "On so and so plan you lose weight faster, or this other plan thats $300 less a month you can lose, just not as fast as this one or have you tried the all shake replacement diet..." If they dont know me, I tell them these plans are not in my budget PLUS, I have tried so many diets that I roller coastered from one diet to another, meaning it didnt work "for me." Those who know me still try to push their diet because the scale is dropping twice as fast as mine and anytime I mention my measurements are down, I feel better, I can follow this LIFESTYLE for I do terrible at those where I am restricted (thats me though) I still get dirty looks and comments "Just try it wont take you so long to lose the weight." Is this a race to lose weight and I am losing the race?:huh:

I try to avoid talking about this with these people but there are times they ask how I am doing on my weight loss, I say good, they look me up and down, then continue another conversation with someone else because most know I dont like to be preached to and are upset about this.

Does anyone else have this issue? If so, is there any other way to approach it?
«1

Replies

  • Anaconda62
    Anaconda62 Posts: 181
    Because it's human nature to think their ways are better. It makes them feel superior to feel that they've chosen wisely.
  • Meaganandcheese
    Meaganandcheese Posts: 525 Member
    I think all you can do is shrug it off and keep focusing on yourself and your goals. If they press, you can tell them that everyone is motivated by different things and you're enjoying the path you're on.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    Fortunately I've never had someone tell me what I should be doing - at least not without me first asking them for advice.

    I do find it funny, though, that when I tell them that I've simply started eating better and exercising I usually get the reply of "Oh....really, that's all?" Sorry to burst your bubble, but it takes WORK to lose weight, not magic fairy dust.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    In your case it sounds to me that they are trying to sell you something so that they benefit.

    We are only different as far as our preferences go and our individual intolerances. Medical conditions aside (diabetes, food allergies or intolerances), we still lose weight the same for the most part.

    Here's a good article on this, and while I know this isn't the intent of your post, you might find this to be a great read:
    http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/you-are-not-different.html

    As far as your situation goes, I find it refreshing that you said this:
    Although, when someone asks me what I am doing to lose weight and I say eat right, less, and exercise

    ..and I'd say that it would be hard for anyone to come up with anything to sell you to improve your plan -- you're doing it right.

    I think the best way to handle it is to either not say anything and trust the fact that your method > their product.
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
    Is this a race to lose weight and I am losing the race?

    I CONSTANTLY tell people this!!! It's NOT a race, it's a journey and if you don't learn anything along the way, you will never see the end.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    There are lots of deeper social and psychological reasons to this (fear, security, groupthink, etc.), but it really comes down to this:

    If I didn't believe my way was better, I'd probably choose the way I thought was better.
  • lizard053
    lizard053 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Most people believe if it works for them then it must work for everyone. Very few people stop and consider how many other things they have tried and been unable to succeed at. I am frequently that way too. I try to say everyone is different as a caveat, but I do forget sometimes.

    There is one truth with weight loss. ANYONE can do it if they find the right system for them. It may be painfully slow, but it can be done.

    Eat less, move more, and drink more water has been my motto!
  • Eaglesfanintn
    Eaglesfanintn Posts: 813 Member
    Is this a race to lose weight and I am losing the race?

    I CONSTANTLY tell people this!!! It's NOT a race, it's a journey and if you don't learn anything along the way, you will never see the end.

    Me too! I say, I didn't get fat overnight and I'm not going to get skinny overnight either. It took a long time to get this way and it's going to take some time to get fit.
  • alliover
    alliover Posts: 32 Member
    The best diet to be on is the one that works for you!! Personally, I don't consider myself to be on a "diet". It's more of a lifestyle change which includes healthy eating :)
  • mzhokie
    mzhokie Posts: 349 Member
    Considering I have tried a million other diets.... I probably could say "I've tried that, didn't work for me!" hehehe

    The other answer is.... well that's nice, what I'm doing is working for me. But if I want to try "whatever they say", I know I can call you. I find that humoring people like that is the best way to get them to shut up without offending anyone.

    The key thing is not to turn around and start "preaching" about what you are doing. :)
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    I just explain to them that I'm looking for a long term solution and that eating right and exercising is working fabulously for me. :)
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
    Because it's human nature to think their ways are better. It makes them feel superior to feel that they've chosen wisely.

    This makes complete since. I am one who thinks my way works better for me, but its not for everyone. My MIL has tried every diet out there, she even will make this statement, but having to try different diets all the time tells me something is not working.
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
    In your case it sounds to me that they are trying to sell you something so that they benefit.

    We are only different as far as our preferences go and our individual intolerances. Medical conditions aside (diabetes, food allergies or intolerances), we still lose weight the same for the most part.

    Here's a good article on this, and while I know this isn't the intent of your post, you might find this to be a great read:
    http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/you-are-not-different.html

    As far as your situation goes, I find it refreshing that you said this:
    Although, when someone asks me what I am doing to lose weight and I say eat right, less, and exercise

    ..and I'd say that it would be hard for anyone to come up with anything to sell you to improve your plan -- you're doing it right.

    I think the best way to handle it is to either not say anything and trust the fact that your method > their product.


    Thank you.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    I think it is human nature to think the way we do things is best (otherwise we would change it if we thought otherwise, right?). I also think friends try to help one another, but sometimes go too far. Yes, your friends are going too far.
    Have you told your doctor what you are doing to lose weight? I ask, because this way you can say your doctor approves of your method (or maybe even go so far as to say "recommends" this method if he says something that honestly suggests he does, and why wouldn't he?). A "friend" should respect your choice to consult and listen to your doctor.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
    Yes, I know how you feel. I have tried many things like WW and Nutrisystem and so on... I start to lose weight be then everything comes back just as fast. This time around, I feel like I'm choosing the hard way, of also eating right/less and getting more exercise in. I feel that even though the weight will come off slower, it is more likely to stay on and in the process I'm learning how to change my eating habits and add exercising in as a habit.

    To deal with these other people who try to sell you stuff, I just stand my food strong and explain "This is why I'm doing it.... If i ever change my mind, I know who to go to."
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    I don't get quite what you get, I do get a variation. Something like this:

    "You drink beer on a diet? " Shock and/or disgust on the speakers face...
    "I am not dieting. I changed the way I eat. It is okay I have factored the beer into what I eat during the day."
    "But you can't lose weight drinking beer." Entering smug mode.
    "I have lost 20 lbs"
    "Well you must not be eating healthy" Obviously has told me how it is and is done.

    You can put other words in place of beer. Any food that someone doesn't see as diet food. Or you can modify that conversation to include the fact I work out at home and not a gym.

    I just let them go and ignore them. The only person I need to prove anything to is me. And I am doing that in a manner I can maintain. Will I change things in the future? Of course, as I change some things will change.

    Just my experience.
  • C00lCountry
    C00lCountry Posts: 282
    The best diet to be on is the one that works for you!! Personally, I don't consider myself to be on a "diet". It's more of a lifestyle change which includes healthy eating :)
    I always find it amusing but aggrevating at same time that most people think I am on a diet.
    I feel pretty good about foods I eat and the amounts. I know where I stand at end of day now.
    I can see my body changing and my cloths are getting bigger.

    Keep doing what you are doing if it is working and you are happy. :-)
  • Suz_w8loss
    Suz_w8loss Posts: 197 Member
    I've had people ask how I am losing & I tell them the same thing "exercise & eat less & increase veges/fruits". Nobody has ever tried to "sell" me on what they consider a better way but if they did, I just would put on mySnoopy ears & all I would hear is "wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk..."

    You gotta do whatever works for You :)
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    I've always felt that people want to impress upon others what has personally worked for them. There's no wrong or right. They are just passionate about what they feel works. But those with open minds also know that what works for one person, may not work for the next. We all come in different shapes and sizes... and metabolic capacities. I burn differently than the next guy does, and definitely more so than a woman does. So what works for me, may not work for them, and vice versa.

    But to the original question, again, I feel it's just passion. Unfortunately, some people believe their method so blindly that they do not realize that other ways may work just as well.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    I don't get quite what you get, I do get a variation. Something like this:

    "You drink beer on a diet? " Shock and/or disgust on the speakers face...
    "I am not dieting. I changed the way I eat. It is okay I have factored the beer into what I eat during the day."
    "But you can't lose weight drinking beer." Entering smug mode.
    "I have lost 20 lbs"
    "Well you must not be eating healthy" Obviously has told me how it is and is done.

    You can put other words in place of beer. Any food that someone doesn't see as diet food. Or you can modify that conversation to include the fact I work out at home and not a gym.

    I just let them go and ignore them. The only person I need to prove anything to is me. And I am doing that in a manner I can maintain. Will I change things in the future? Of course, as I change some things will change.

    Just my experience.

    Enjoy your beer, dude! :drinker: I haven't had a beer in a while, but the thought of NOT being ALLOWED to have one would send me straight to the fridge for one to drown out the sorrow of not being able to have one. Yes. Convoluted, but there you go. Being allowed to have whatever I want so long as I work it in makes me less contradictory (and more likely to choose food, because I'M HUNGRY!!! .
  • Vermilla
    Vermilla Posts: 348
    People know what works for them and usually in an attempto help others, they tend to get a bit self-righteous. While there are some basic guidelines, the details are different for each person. Next time it's talked about, point out that all good diets have a base of eat well and be healthy. The reason there are so many (not including the scams to make miney) is because there is no one diet that works for everybody.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    It's funny you mentioned this. It reminds me of an episode of Oprah when she had Jarred Vogel from the Subway commercials on. He said what he ate to lose the weight including potato chips. She paused to say potato chips aren't good for your diet. My thought was the guy just told you he lost 240 lbs and your telling him that you shouldn't et potato chips on a diet.
  • msslimann
    msslimann Posts: 122
    I have tried so many different diet plans, programs , etc. and lose weight but then I gainit back cause I can't stick with it. Don't like the thought of being on a DIEt. Anyway a friend of mine has did different programs too and now she is losing but she is getting diet pills from a doctor in the next state. Another friend and her go every month and pay $100 for them. She tries to get me to go and is always talking about my need to lose weight. She eats sweets and whatever she wants and will bring me sweets knowing I don't need them. She eats what she wants and drinks cause she is taking the pills.when she stops taking the pills she is going to gain all the weight back if she keeps on eating the way she is. I told her I am changing my life style and don't want to take any pills. This is a life style not just a quick fix.
  • Meaganandcheese
    Meaganandcheese Posts: 525 Member
    Although, when someone asks me what I am doing to lose weight and I say eat right, less, and exercise, they (usualluy those on some sort of diet program) frown at me and try to sell me the plan they are on.

    I think a lot of people don't want to believe that the answer is really as simple as eating well and being active. They want it to be a gimmick, because that means it's easier (and also something to blame if it doesn't work out). The diet industry (MFP included!) banks on people's desire to find the magic bullet

    Just keep doing what works for you!
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    It is because people work for the companies that sell supplements and diet programs, etc. Fad diets are very popular because people lose pounds fast, which everyone wants the quick fix. I have been there in the past, too. Then I gained 50 pounds...

    It's all relative... no one way is better necessarily than another... however... there is enough proof available out there to suggest that a very high majority of ANY fad diet is not sustainable over the long haul and eventually will result in either the gaining of the weight lost or that plus some.

    I think you're doing it the right way... and if it's working for you... stick with it! :)
  • Vermilla
    Vermilla Posts: 348
    Fortunately I've never had someone tell me what I should be doing - at least not without me first asking them for advice.

    I do find it funny, though, that when I tell them that I've simply started eating better and exercising I usually get the reply of "Oh....really, that's all?" Sorry to burst your bubble, but it takes WORK to lose weight, not magic fairy dust.

    I brought that magic fairy dust for nothing??!! Dammit!!!
  • Hgilmer
    Hgilmer Posts: 2
    I started my weight loss journey doing Weight Watchers. And honestly, for me, it worked great, as long as I worked it. Basically the same concept as MFP only you count points instead of calories. You learn how to eat healthier, get in your water and your exercise. Hard work is the only way to do it whether you choose points or calories. I have recently switched to MFP due to financial reasons, but also because the android app is more user friendly for me than the WW app.

    I admit, I did pimp out WW to my friends, but only AFTER they noticed my weight loss and asked how i was doing it. For me, I need the structure and accountability of tracking and posting. I've noticed with MFP i'm more inclined to workout because i can eat more if I exercise more (i love to eat)

    I also get the comments from people when they see me with a fast food bag at work... 'that doesn't look like diet food'..... i'm not on a diet!! i'm chaning my lifestyle, i'm eating healthier and i'm eating less and i'm working out.....for the rest of my life. That's the only way to guarantee lasting results. I recently was approached by a 'skinny' friend about a shake product she was selling, her big sell point was 'my mom lost 7lbs in 3 weeks'..... ok, great for her. Last week using MFP and WW, eating right, exercising... I lost 5.6lbs. Without skipping meals to drink a shake. Because what happens when you stop drinking those shakes? Are you really going to drink shakes for the rest of your life?

    Life is not 'The Biggest Loser'..... in real life, it takes hard work, determination.... and TIME.....to lose weight and keep it off. I even recently heard a radio ad for a 'diet supplement' from a 'former biggest loser contestant'..... so wow, she lost a ton of weight in a very controlled enviroment of a TV show.... but obviously learned nothing and can't maintain her loss.

    Dont let what anyone says get to you, everyone is different. To them maybe what they are doing is best because it has worked best for them, or it is easier than anything else they've done or it's faster. That doesn't make it better. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.... and that doesn't have to be the same as yours. Keep up your good work!! Let haters hate....
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    If you're not using MFP...you're doing it WRONG! :bigsmile:
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    It’s the way we are wired, we want our way to be the right way since it is what we are doing. In general some people can’t stand to be wrong or not agreed with.
    For me, I know what is working, but am reasonable enough to know it may not work for everyone. We are all different and have our own way of doing things. Do what works for you that you can sustain long term.
  • Hgilmer
    Hgilmer Posts: 2
    good for you!! What's that story about the turtle and the hare?!
This discussion has been closed.