I want to have another baby but.....

I understand it's her choice, and she does have free will. I am just wondering what the motivation behind having kids is for her, she's young, already has 4. Some people are grateful to have 1.

Everybody has different motivations. Some people never want kids. Others feel their life isn't complete before they've a certain number. Either way, her motives to have another child shouldn't concern us. And you may never understand them even if she did explain why.

you're right even if I know her motivation, I may not understand it. Some people want kids for financial gain, some just like to be pregnant, some just like to have little babies all the time.

Well, my reasons for wanting to have another baby have nothing to do with any of the things you just mentioned. And please tell me about this "having a baby for financial gain." Last I checked, babies COST money. lol

here in Europe most countries pay you a monthly amount of 'child benefit' - it's supposed to help you care for your child. The amount varies depending on how many children you have. There are still people out there who think that families have more kids to get more of this 'child benefit'.
I have 4 children, we get child benefit and let me tell you something: it is NOT enough to pay for childcare, let alone all the rest the children need. It is a misconception that it is possible to have children for financial gain. Unless you sell yours? lol... and that's just insane!

Can you breastfeed? Breastfeeding during the first 6 months burns around 170 calories a day, which equates to about a 10 pound loss. If you're overweight, you only need to gain 15-25 pounds anyway, and a lot of that is water weight, so that's a great way to get back to prepregnancy weight.

sorry wrong ebf burns 500 a day :happy:

It's recommended that women meet their added energy requirements for breastfeeding. The milk energy output is 500 calories. 170 calories can be drawn from the mom's fat stores, leading to weight loss, but the remaining 330 should come from food for a milk supply that's high in volume and nutrients. This is especially important during the first two months; definitely not the time for rapid weight loss! You'll lose weight, but it will be gradual-best for you and your baby!

How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...

I agree with this in that if there was a reason you wanted to wait in the first place, are you really ready for that last child to come now? I don't think you should torture yourself by waiting for the sake of waiting, but you're discussing this kid like you're not sure if you want to buy a smaller dress now while it's on sale, or later when you fit in it.

All I'm saying is don't impulsively do something that might not be a good choice later. That's never a good plan in my opinion.

I just don't understand why she wants another kid if she already has 4.

That's her choice if her family can give it what it needs, but rushing into it because of current circumstances might not be worth it if she's not completely ready. That's all I'm saying.

I understand it's her choice, and she does have free will. I am just wondering what the motivation behind having kids is for her, she's young, already has 4. Some people are grateful to have 1.

I was an only child and I have always wanted to have a big family... and I want to do it while I'm young! I don't want to still be having babies when I'm in my 30s! But I only want one more..... 5 will be plenty for us!

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone's ridiculous questions.

Talk to your doctor first. If all systems go, have that fifth baby, enjoy the hell out of your children and then go through surgery.

Coming from someone that cannot have kids, I'd love to have the option! So if you can, and you want to, go for it!

Have you ever thought of adoption? You wouldn't gain weight, would be able to have the surgery and still be able to shower a child with love.

BEST ANSWER!!!! Ding Ding Ding... And no time constraint!:)

Do it.

Depending on your weight, you won't even need to gain much in pregnancy. It takes around 300 cal/day over maintenance for pregnancy~less in first trimester, more in third trimester, it's an average.

I don't know what your weight loss pattern is post-partum, but for me, I seem to lose 20ish pounds within the first few weeks, counting the baby (and my babies are small 5-6lbers). I tend to gain 30lbs with each pregnancy, so it would leave me 10lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight. For me, 10 extra pounds to lose would make it worth it.

That said, I would talk to your doctor about stuff like the mirena. I'm guessing from your post that the time before having your fifth was due to wanting to be at goal weight? If so, I understand how important that is. If there are no short term methods for avoiding a hysterectomy, I would talk to your doctor about how to manage weight gain during pregnancy. Starting the diabetes diet while pregnant seems to slow down/stop weight gain in a lot of women. Make a plan with your gynecologist, find out your options, and then make a decision.

Trust me. There are a lot more adoptable children than childless couples. If there really was a long list of childless couples looking to adopt, then there would be no foster homes. You would not have young adults being dumped on the streets by the foster care system.

It's not that easy. I have several friends who have gone through it. They ended up adopting from Asia, because there were no healthy newborns in the US.

Adopting an older child from foster care requires a special family. If you read those descriptions in the paper about the kids who want to be adopted, they often have little phrases like "struggling to overcome feelings of rejection," or, "recommend a home where she will be the youngest or only child." Reactive attachment disorder or fetal alcohol syndrome can be more than parents can handle, let alone younger children.

All parents face challenges like that even with their own natural born children. If an individual can't accept a child for who they are, then maybe they aren't that desperate to be a parent.

As to the original OP. I'd say if you really want another one. Go ahead now.

That said, four kids is still a big family. My mother did her best but paying attention to even 4 kids was a huge job and yeah SOME kids from large families may end up feeling neglected and/or unloved at times. I know this from personal experience. Just something to consider.

How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...

Thank you! You have enough kids. Four by 24?! Focus on keeping them and yourself happy and healthy

rude much?! who are you to say she has to many kids

I totally understand you wanting to wait to add baby #5. I have 4 also (5, 3 yr old twins, almost 2). When you have them back to back like that, it can be crazy. BUT not as crazy as strangers critisizing your want for another child! People are so strange. Anyway, I tend to agree with some of the other folks. If you want your own baby (and you're not a bad person if you don't choose to adopt or pay crazy amounts of money for someone else to carry), then go for it now. I know my limitations and although I do want one more, one more would put me over the edge! But if you and your husband agree on a baby now, have one! You can work out while you're pregnant. My problem while pregnant was always the food - I'm a marketer's wet dream. It's the only time I have an unbearable craving for junk food! You will eventually lose the weight but may be your only shot for that last little soul! Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Good luck!