Learning to love me...

hi! My name is Ann and I have two daughters Kasey 11 and Kaylee 9. I am also engaged to the best guy in the world, of course thats my opiniion and for us thats all that matters. I was married 8yrs to one abusive jerk that changed my life dramaticly. Before marriage I wore a size 16 and rode a bike, wallked miles, and hked almost every day. He seemed supportive of my interest but once we married everything I did was wrong and he becaame a total control freak. I went from maybe 170lbs to 300lbs from the I do's to the divorce. He controlled what groceries we could buy where or what I could do. Any healthy habits I had were gone. Even after he left my depressioon and chronic back pain left me in a cycle of poor eating and withdrawn from the world around me. I didn't want to acknowledge the abuse or how bad my health was. I regularly hoped i would die in my sleep and never see another day.

Well it has taken 5years but now I am in a wonderful relationship, enjoying my children, went thru two back operations with some success. i am reclaiming my life I am finding myself again. In June of 2011 I weighed 314 today I am 274 so I have lost 40lbs on my own here at home. It hasn't been easy I can't bike anymore because of my back. Wallking is hard because of back pain and nerve damage in my left leg. Walking is also hard because now I live iin a city and before I was out in the country so I fight a social phobia trying to walk around all the house, people, and traffic but I am doing better.

It is tiime for me to be kind to myself and be who I am again. And I have came a long ways and do not plan to quit now. Looking forward to meeting everyone here. I hoope I can encourage you in your goals and you can encourage me. So heres a smile for all who are looking to make some change in their life. Keep up the good work guys.