How Dare You!!!!!

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13

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  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    Exactly.
    He wants you to be the fat one, so he can continue being told he looks great.
  • royah1976
    royah1976 Posts: 6 Member
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    Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think the first weight I would get rid of would be the dead weight of a toxic relationship.

    Agreed!! That's a "frenemy," not a friend.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Can we say HATER!!!! Sounds like it was all good when you shelled out the compliments and now he's a little jealous. You know some people actually like it when you make them look better. At any rate, I'd share my feelings with him and see what he says. Then take his response and make a decision. If he's a true friend he will have a workable response. If not, loose the extra poundage....who needs it?

    I agree..I'm moving on. If he ever see's me again..it won't be as friend

    And if I am ever lucky enough to meet a real voodoo doctor......OHH MYYY....it won't be pretty :devil:
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think the first weight I would get rid of would be the dead weight of a toxic relationship.

    Agreed!! That's a "frenemy," not a friend.

    I should "Bumper Sticker" that word.. :-)
  • Resalyn
    Resalyn Posts: 528 Member
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    Honestly,
    that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

    Wow. Honestly, did you even read the entire post? Her point has nothing to do with what way of eating she is following - it has everything to do with getting no support from a friend.

    To the original poster - I typed a response and then lost the darn thing - but here is the gist of it. Several people have suggested confronting him about it, and I have to agree. There are so many things that could cause it, and they all speak badly about his own insecurities and possible narcissim. I say confront him because I'm typically more confrontational than passive-aggressive. I'd look him in the eye and say "I've supported you through your journey, now it's time for you to support me through mine. You're being a jerk. Either show me some respect and support, or see ya around." and then stick to it. If he's a true friend he'll admit he's been a jerk. More likely he'll get miffed and think you're the one being a witch. If the latter is true, then kick him to the curb and move on. There are plenty of people on here and in real life who will support you.

    Best of luck - I'm guessing you'll feel better about this later on today, but don't let him continue to treat you that way. Friendship, like any other relationship, is a two-way street.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Honestly,
    that diet looks like a bit of a fad diet. It looks like they are big on selling stuff like protein, whey, chocolate bars, mineral stuff, and books! Undereating during the day? Overeating at night? Hmmm... I have never heard of something like that before

    Wow. Honestly, did you even read the entire post? Her point has nothing to do with what way of eating she is following - it has everything to do with getting no support from a friend.

    To the original poster - I typed a response and then lost the darn thing - but here is the gist of it. Several people have suggested confronting him about it, and I have to agree. There are so many things that could cause it, and they all speak badly about his own insecurities and possible narcissim. I say confront him because I'm typically more confrontational than passive-aggressive. I'd look him in the eye and say "I've supported you through your journey, now it's time for you to support me through mine. You're being a jerk. Either show me some respect and support, or see ya around." and then stick to it. If he's a true friend he'll admit he's been a jerk. More likely he'll get miffed and think you're the one being a witch. If the latter is true, then kick him to the curb and move on. There are plenty of people on here and in real life who will support you.

    Best of luck - I'm guessing you'll feel better about this later on today, but don't let him continue to treat you that way. Friendship, like any other relationship, is a two-way street.

    Thanks so much..I do feel better. I was a complete wreck this morning..and to top it off I'm in my cousin's wedding tomorrow...but this matter had me so depressed..if you've ever seen the movie "Something's Gotta Give"..with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson (one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME) ...when she went through the crying stage.....that was me.

    And yes, I think I was tremendously supportive of him during his WLJ. I used to bake him cookies and brownies and make cheesecake truffles for him..ALOT!! But when he started his WLJ I stopped the baking..because I actually wanted him to succeed.
  • fanceegirl75
    fanceegirl75 Posts: 620 Member
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    Slow & Steady wins the race. Maybe he doesn't know the right way to help you understand making this about a lifestyle change and not a diet? The importance or both eating right as well as exercising? Or he's just got his own insecurities and so he wants to make you to feel less than. Which is so not right. A true friend will only try to help you and build you up. Not discourage you and break you down. All the best to you! :drinker:
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Forget him. People can be so negative. I'd much rather lose it slowly, that way you're more likely to keep it off. Great job with your accomplishments!

    Omg...you've lost 66!! That's awesome..xoxo
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    It sounds like you are doing great, I wouldn't give that guy a second thought. Hang in there, there is always going to be some hater in your life. Just don't let them affect you. Easier said than done, I know, but your self-esteem sounds strong enough to do it.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Some people feel safer being negative toward a friend's choices than toward other people - he may be supporting others but thinking internally that they won't succeed.

    My advice is don't talk to him about what you're doing and just wait for him to notice the results. Lots of people may poo-poo what you're doing, but the bottom line is that we all just have to find what works best for ourselves and stick with it. We're all different. Everything from body types to conditions to life schedules to eating habits. What you're doing wouldn't work for me, but I doubt what I'm doing would work for you. It's all about personal choices and balance.

    And, I'm sorry others responding aren't as supportive as they can be. You're looking for friend advice and some are attacking what you are telling us works for you, and that's not helpful.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Do you have a Planet Fitness gym where you are? They are awesome! Their big claim is "judgement free". A place where ANYONE can go and be comfortable. They don't allow big grunting while lifiting weights. They have a commercial where a guy is showing off his 6 pack and is escorted out the door. I have seen bigger than me and smaller than me there. And it's only 10 bucks a month! Check it out if you can.

    Jan

    That places sounds amazing!! I stopped going to Curves, because more and more
    women with NO curves started coming in.....wearing these skimpy workout outfits....all all I wanted to do was rip their "thongs" off, and choke em with it!!

    Wow..
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Some people feel safer being negative toward a friend's choices than toward other people - he may be supporting others but thinking internally that they won't succeed.

    My advice is don't talk to him about what you're doing and just wait for him to notice the results. Lots of people may poo-poo what you're doing, but the bottom line is that we all just have to find what works best for ourselves and stick with it. We're all different. Everything from body types to conditions to life schedules to eating habits. What you're doing wouldn't work for me, but I doubt what I'm doing would work for you. It's all about personal choices and balance.

    And, I'm sorry others responding aren't as supportive as they can be. You're looking for friend advice and some are attacking what you are telling us works for you, and
    that's not helpful.

    It sure isn't....but, like I said..back in the day (my cupcake days)...those carbs woulda caused me to go postal.......

    Ahhhhhh, what a wonderful change in me :-)
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I have no idea what the Warrior Diet is, but I would question why I am calling anyone that would trash something that is working for me a "friend".

    Even if this diet is a scary fad diet (not bashing, pure ignorance on my part) that is no reason to bash your plans and hopes. That's not a very friendly thing to do.

    Good luck and continued success to you!!
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    First of all, good for you. Finding what works for you is critical to your success. I don't even know what to say about your friend, except that he is NOT a friend.

    Drop him like the pounds you've already lost and will continue to lose.
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    I feel your pain, My boyfriend is the same way. When I tell him i'm going to the gym in the morning he laughs at me. He is always trying to hinder my meal plans and take me to my favorite resturants where he knows I'm going to overeat.

    I handle this by just ignoring him and doing the things I want to do anyways. Don't let him get you down, the only person that is standing in your way to reach your dreams is you.

    Isn't it funny how men are that way sometimes. I think they want you to be uncomfortable in your skin as a way to control your self esteem.
  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
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    I'm a bit of a stomper myself. I personally do it for a few reasons.

    1. I've seen the fad diets come and go, and along with it the weight loss/gain.
    2. Diets are something you have to do for the rest of your life. They are a lifestyle adjustment, not a quick fix. Some diets are just too ludicrous to be followed for long periods.
    3. Sometimes I'm just jealous of their progress.
    etc.

    Also, people I could care less about I say good job, fantastic, etc. It's like asking someone how they are doing, and the expected response is good. For a good friend, I want what is best for them.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    I have no idea what the Warrior Diet is, but I would question why I am calling anyone that would trash something that is working for me a "friend".

    Even if this diet is a scary fad diet (not bashing, pure ignorance on my part) that is no reason to bash your plans and hopes. That's not a very friendly thing to do.

    Good luck and continued success to you!!

    It isn't really a diet..atleast not for me. On diets, I fail miserably because I am forced to give up the foods that I love. With the Warrior method, I can still have them..only not the large portions I've consumed in the past. I love apples again..and nuts. Another thing..the pants I was wearing in my profile pic..3 weeks ago I couldn't pull them up past my knees...and today, I no longer have them..in fact, I've thrown them away..because now, they are too big.

    This method may not be ideal for every one...but for ME, it has changed the way I look at food. For the first time in ages, I know what REAL hunger feels like. I never really experienced it before, because I was always eating something. My body feels lighter, and cleaner..because going without foods..for ME, also cleaned me out.

    And when I do finally eat my daily meal..it goes right through me. My skin is the clearest it's ever been. And I'm more active..because I have more energy.

    For me..it's not a diet. Diets are temporary...this method..for ME..is life changing.
  • Nemoturtle
    Nemoturtle Posts: 4 Member
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    If he is doing that right to your face, ask him to his face why he is acting that way.

    If he does not come up with a reasonable reason, shake your shoes and move on without him as a friend.

    Totally agree. Let him know how you feel & ask him why he would do it & if he can't tell you and can't respect that he hurt your feelings (and try to make ammends) then you are better off without him. I'm not saying to harbor bad feelings towards him or anything, because I think that is counter-productive, but you don't need that negativity in your life.

    And, everyone who is ALSO going at her & the diet, etc..... she came here for SUPPORT, not to be called out or ridiculed. She already had that happen & doesn't need it again. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".... we all should have learned this when we were younger.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    If he is doing that right to your face, ask him to his face why he is acting that way.

    If he does not come up with a reasonable reason, shake your shoes and move on without him as a friend.

    I
    Totally agree. Let him know how you feel & ask him why he would do it & if he can't tell you and can't respect that he hurt your feelings (and try to make ammends) then you are better off without him. I'm not saying to harbor bad feelings towards him or anything, because I think that is counter-productive, but you don't need that negativity in your life.

    And, everyone who is ALSO going at her & the diet, etc.....
    she came here for SUPPORT, not to be called out or ridiculed. She already had that happen & doesn't need it again. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".... we all should have learned this when we were younger.

    Thank you!!! Xoxoxo

    And you're right..I think some people totally missed..or misread my post..it wasn't really about the method....it was about having the right support team behind me. I'm not like most people..I need a ribbon of accomplishment every now and then...even if it's just..."you're doin great!"

    And most people know how important those words are..because they've been where I am..or they're currently doin it.

    At the end of the day.....the best method..is the one that works...and makes you healthy. I've tried the 3 meal a day method..the 6 small meals a day method....and to be honest....it was just too much..and I spent more time eating than anything else.
  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 623 Member
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    This sounds like an advertisment. Who really says "droped 50lbs of fat?"

    No one even has a way to know that.

    She said HE dropped the weight and was against that SHE is on. If this is the advertisement. Worst one i have ever seen....

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