Un supportive husband anyone??

My dh (who really is a great guy) was a serious jerk about any attempt I made at weight loss for YEARS. Finally, about 14 months ago, I just stopped letting his attitude get to me. He tried everything...my favorite junk food, picking fights...and somehow I was able to stick to my guns. About 50 pounds later people started really noticing what I was doing and talking to him about it and he's been supportive ever since. Not perfect, but no longer actively standing in my way at every turn.

I know it's hard, but you really can do this even without his support. Hang in there!

sounds like he is afraid that if you look good he will loose you. Does he have insecurity problems? Some men just don't like change at all.

My husband loves me the way I am. Its not that he is unsupportive, but he is afraid I am going to lose too much weight and dump him. I have explained that I am doing this for me. So I look and more importantly, feel better. But I think deep down he is worried.

Whether or not your husband needs to lose weight, he needs to be healthy so he can be a father to your child. So maybe try to include him in exercise when you can (but not when it's your alone time) and the cooking for the family. Also, he might just be missing you on some level...afraid that you're growing away from him. That doesn't mean you need to stop what you're doing, but remind yourself, you're doing it for you, and your baby and husband. If you're happy and healthy, so will everyone else be healthy and happy, even if it doesn't seem that way at times.

My husband is JUST starting to turn around.....and I think that it is totally because I refuse to back down or give up. For him it was totally an insecurity thing, he could not accept me wanting something for me - felt that if it was not good enough that HE thought I looked good that I must be doing it for the attention of other men. I had to fight being really pissed at his chauvanistic attitude and just keep talking in positive terms....how great I was feeling, each milestone I hit.

In the last 2-3 weeks he has even started taking an interest in his own physical health. He has started watching what he eats, hitting the weights a bit and even went for a run with me last week! He has stopped insulting my reasons and started praising my accomplishments.

STICK WITH IT! Talk about your goals and reasons openly and someone who loves you will come around and want to be part of your success! In the meantime, lots of us here to help!

@Addman - "What you need to remember is you are doing it for you , not him , he is the one with the problem." Hear Hear!!!

& there must be cloning or something going; I have the exact same issue with my lady - "needs to lose weight and talks about losing it but its more talk than walk." And unfortunately my eldest son too - who is in most need of dropping kilos They talk & sort of try but no conviction & carry through. I don't cop so much sabotage anymore - they have finally got the gist - but it still does happen...

My husband was the same with the junk food . He wasn't intentionally sabotaging me but he wasn't much help either. He was fine with me losing weight as long it it didn't interfere with how he wanted to eat... UNTIL we realized I have Celiac disease and half the children are having food issues as well.Eating healthy has became about keeping us safe first and foremost,.. He is very supportive NOW and mosty eats like the family does.. he is much more thoughtful about his food choices as well.. it just took him a while to get on board. Keep at it.. hopefully your hubby will come around when he sees how important it is to you.

I've been with my partner for 2 and a half years, and was much heavier when we first met. He always looks healthy and fit and doesn't have to watch what he eats, he doesn't pig out but he eats whatever he fancies on the day. He also walks a lot.

With me, it is SO hard to lose weight, let alone maintain the weightloss! He constantly offers me things he knows that I'm trying to avoid, and he wont eat the same dinners as me as they are too healthy/low calorie for his liking :noway:

He also constantly tells me he doesn't want me to lose any more weight & doesn't think I need to, but I'm also not happy. I want to be fit and toned.

I'm getting really into fitness and running, be he isn't, and I sometimes I wish he had this newfound hobby too as it would bring us even closer together!

I agree with StacieL. Get a support system that has a good give and take. Inperson friends will help keep you motivated by going for that walk or job with you, while online they can help with words and additional emotional support needed on our journies for healthier selves.

My husband in the begining was supportive of me, but didn't realize by bringing home the 2 L bottles of reg soda, chips, cookies, ect, that it was a temptation. A temptation that in many years previously I had given into. Somehow since I really started this time on my treck in Sept 2010 I have been focused. I can say no to the goodies, I can let him sit/sleep on the couch and do my wii zumba/EA Sports/ JM ultimatum/ Jenny McCarthy workouts. I just don't care if he is having a lazy day.

I am doing this for us, and the family I hope for us to have- but ULTIMATELY for the FIRST TIME..... I am doing this for ME.
and it is a great feeling!!!!

Today marked 6 months and I hit my 60 pound mark! Good luck, if you need that online support- feel free to add me!

I'm struggling with having a new partner in my life and having that fit with my health goals. He has bought me stuff that didn't fit in with the plan, and discouraged me from getting up early in the morning for my workouts.

However, recently I was sad because I had put on weight, and he started to feel guilty that it had only happened since we've been together. So, it has helped him understand where I am coming from and he is now more on board, but it is a work in progress.

Sometimes we actually give out mixed messages, and they think we don't really mean it. I suggest if we stick to our guns they'll eventually get the hint.

GG

My husband does not bring home snacks or anything. He does not try and stop my weight loss. He does tell me he will love me no matter what I look like. The problem is I do not like how I look and I find he takes it personally. He thinks I do not think what he thinks matters and it can be frustrating.

No but I have an unsupportive wife !!! ~ I have lost 44 pounds, went from a 46 chest to 38, went from a 36 to 32 waist - and all I get is hassle because she can't loose any (despite trying). Putting pressure on me to change back.

It's so much tougher for me to keep motivated because my husband just does not want me to loose weight!! He thinks I care to much about it look great all that but i am just not happy. He says that he can't see the 35 pounds I have held onto, even after showing him pictures depicting a huge difference pre to post baby... Does any one else have a husband who wants them to stay the same weight they are and makes it hard for them to loose anything? He always offers me junk food wants me to hang out with him instead of exercise etc... Any ideas on how to get him behind me?!?!

Its not about your appearance, its about being there for every significant time of your childs life as they grow into adulthood and beyond. Its about reaching retirement and still being healthy and vibrate enough to enjoy it. Its about being fit enough to be the rock your family needs in an emergency. Don't stagnate, live joyfully and powerfully, fuel yourself with great food that helps you do that.
Remember that and it wont matter if he puts a burger in your hand you will achieve what you set out to do.

i have one of those one min he tells me i need to lose weight the next here have (insert junk food) when i would do exercise games on the wii or xbox he would laugh and tell my do u know how stupid u look? He would also say "I don't care how long u play as long as the house is clean" . Now that is unrealistic in my house because we have a 14x70 mobile home and 6 people and 5 pets in said home and HE is the biggest slob! i finally got fed up with him and my weight and told him to shut up i was doing this weather he liked it or not to keep his darn comments to himself i did not want to hear them if they were neg. and as far as the house if he didn't like the way it looked get up and pitch in . he has become good for my new habits i am forming (somewhat) at least in the exercise department still working on the food side! if i do not feel like working out he now tells me that i will not get anywhere with out it so at least he is trying . Maybe you will just have to let him know hey i am not happy the way i am and am serious about changing im sorry if u dont like it but if u cant say anything nice than please keep ur comments to youre self this doesnt mean i dont respect ur feelings i just want to be a healthier wife and mother . good luck it may take a bit for him to figure out u r serious but just hang in there!

I swear I read your post and it was like reading about my relationship. He says I am big and I need to lose weight but then turns around and wants to eat crap all the time. I will be sticking with my diet and workout plan from now on. He can eat what I cook or go hungry. If he wants junk food he can go get it but I don't want my daughter thinking the way he eats is ok. I guess the only difference with us is that my husband is very big, like over 300lbs. I try to get him to lose weight with me but then he gets mad. It is really frustrating.