Un supportive husband anyone??

sounds like he is afraid that if you look good he will loose you. Does he have insecurity problems? Some men just don't like change at all.

I know in my case that was true...i called him on it recently and he admitted it.

He's smart!

It's not at all uncommon for a couple to split up when one partner loses a lot of weight. Looking at your avatar photo, it's obvious that you have moved well up the looks scale. This destabilizes the power balance that he was used to.

He's probably figuring out that since he couldn't stop you from becoming hotter, he'd better start being nice in order to keep you.

You may have just figured out the male logic lol. Stupid isn't it.

My husband wasn't intentionally unsupportive but is the main cook in the house and is a FANTASTIC chef! He didn't understand that 'only a little olive oil/cream/cheese' *** (insert high fat ingredient of choice) was undermining my efforts. I still lost weight slowly - making do with VERY small portions (He objected when I weighed my food) and filling up on veggies - whcih I also had to persuade him to cook more of. I did tons of exercise too - initially walking but then mixing it up with 30DS etc

Now, he has realised that if he is going to get the operation he needs on the NHS he will be told to lose weight himself. All of a sudden we are eating just as fantastic meals but with far fewer calories. He can't exercise very much because it's a new hip he will need so the only way he can do it is with reducing his calorie intake. He now has the zeal of a convert!

Mines up and down but no one can control my motivation but me.

We have to be strong and make decisions for ourselves.

Mine flat out said he did not believe I could do it. Told me he would never eat my crap diet food and if I wanted to loose weight I would make separate meals for he and I. Well I did. Um his cholesterol was recently tested as bad. I made those separate meals like he said. He ate stouffers, tony pizzas, ramen and whatever else was easy and convenient and gave me time to roast veggies, grill good meats and all that diet "junk" he didn't want to eat....Guess who wants to eat like me now also he is not heavy has never been heavy and did not understand the struggle. Just recently I have heard how great I look. I should add that those foods are his favorite and I always offered him some of my healthy stuff. I am not a jerk. Also at one point I asked to be able to buy new clothes and he said "no just get fat again so the old stuff fits" We still can not agree on me going shopping for new clothes but he is trying a little harder to be nicer. Before people mention good will or thrift stores those are my favorite places to go shopping but I live in the middle of flipping no where and we do not have those things here. I miss them a lot. Where I live I can obsessive diet or eat I chose diet. There is truly nothing else to do LOL

I think part of it is that even though ultimately, they want us to be healthier and thinner, they don’t want to have to sacrifice as we do it. Especially when you do the shopping and cooking plus now disappear to exercise…that puts less attention on them and maybe more responsibility. Never met a man who took that well. Just ignore him.

Absolutely amen to that.....

I have major major problems with my other half.... if anyone on this thread wants to add me feel free, as lots of other posters have said, we are doing this for ourselves and ultimately we need to carry on until WE are happy, regardless of whether your other half is supporting you or not. You know you are doing the right thing. Dont let the negativity get you down.... keep strong

xxxx

Yup, I am.

Men will never understand! lol. I hit my breaking point when I coudn't fit into any of my swim suits and cried for days and he just couldn't understand that I had to feel good about myself even though he loved me the way I was. Sometimes it's a losing battle! But just keep focus on making sure YOU feel good about yourself!

My boyfriend used to be such a jerk about it. If I was cutting calories, he'd tell me it was stupid and that I should work out to lose the weight. Any time I mentioned it, he told me how wrong I was. Mind you, I was working out, and he just thought I should be burning 500-700 calories every single day at the gym and eating whatever I want. That's just not a realistic routine for me.

He's stopped being a jerk about it lately. I don't know why.

I have a very supportive husband who always tells me I am beautiful & didn't need to lose weight until it affected my health. Now he is very encouraging. The worse problem with those "few" extra (although in my case many, many extra) pounds is how quickly it can affect your health. Looking good is important, but the worst side affect of being overweight is quite frankly death. Sorry to sound over-dramatic, but that is where I was headed. Explaining the medical necessity of healthier choices some times helps.

Speaking AS a husband, it's really hard for us (or me, anyway) to not love my wife the way she is.

We're both obese, and both on this site working on our weight. However, I'm a lot harder on myself than I am on her - if she snacks, etc, I won't, uh.. support it, per sé, but I won't slap the cookies out of her hand, either. But if it was me, I would.. well, I wouldn't slap the cookie out of my hand, either, because that would be really weird. But I wouldn't pick up the cookie in the first place.

So I dunno how supportive I am, really. I don't enable, or I try not to, but at the same time I won't come down too hard on her if she enables herself.

I'm not scared she'll get too fit and move on to someone else - we both love each other, and loved each other when we were at our heaviest. I'm also not scared that she'll think I find her unattractive if I DO come down hard on her for snacking, nor that I'm only attracted to her weight and we won't love each other as much when we lose weight.

I just really love my wife, whether she loses weight or not. That's not to say it's not important to me, too. I want us both to live to see our grandkids grow up, etc.

Eh, love and weight loss is a complicated situation.

I "had" an unsupportive husband...he's gone! I'm happy and a new me. Inside and out!!!

Now that I'm single I stay far away from possessive and controlling men. I associate ONLY with men who are proud to have me in their life....'nuff said! :-)