Why do you care what other people think?

People have feelings? I thought that's what middle fingers were for.

Why do you care if I care? hmmmmmm

Really, I pretty much only care what my family and close friends think of me. And my boss, but I only care what he thinks of my work ethic. The rest of it is inconsequential to me because you're absolutely right ... it is not going to make my life better to know what everyone else thinks. I would just end up hiding who I am to get someone else's approval and lose respect for myself.

I used to. A lot. I have learned not to, but it was difficult and required a lot of self reflection. A lot of it, for me at least, was that if society saw me a certain way, then perhaps it was true and I just didn't recognize it. If a couple of people tell you the same thing about yourself, you begin to wonder if it is really truth. I will frequently have people ask on the status of my pregnancy. I am sterile and NOT pregnant...... When you have multiple people mention it, you wonder how many others are thinking it, then I got really self concious of my belly and the fact that I must LOOK PREGNANT. It hurt. It is hard to hear. It isnt so much that ONE other person's opinion mattered, it was the concern that everyone but me noticed. It did kinda spur me on to make some changes. But it made me cry far more.

I choose to be a Godly father for my daughters and don't ask others if they approve or not. I'm not perfect nor do I claim to be. However, I know when I screw up and don't need others to put their 2 cents in. I'm my own worse critic and don't care to hear their rendition repeated over and over.

I do care that people see me as example of how fathers should behave, but as far as what they think? I have no control over other people feelings or thoughts and I refuse to give myself that much credit or blame in the matter.

That's deep, huh? Sorry...

Often I don't get it. Admittedly there are very small group of people whose opinions are important, but for the most part I could care less.

Other people's opinions can make you feel poorly about yourself.
Other people's opinions can influence you...and often not in a positive way.
Other people's opinions can make you be a different person.
Words only have the power YOU give them.

So why do you care?

You said you "could care less"...great, now the grammar nazis are going to be all over this thread like white on rice.

Interesting topic. I'm getting better now that I'm getting older about not caring so much about what others think of me. I'm turning it around and now strive to care about what I truly think about myself. If I know I'm a good person, have a good heart, try my best, don't belittle myself for weaknesses, falling down etc...then I think I'm doing okay. Of course I will worry to some degree about what my family thinks, that will never go away.

Often I don't get it. Admittedly there are very small group of people whose opinions are important, but for the most part I could care less.

Other people's opinions can make you feel poorly about yourself.
Other people's opinions can influence you...and often not in a positive way.
Other people's opinions can make you be a different person.
Words only have the power YOU give them.

So why do you care?

You said you "could care less"...great, now the grammar nazis are going to be all over this thread like white on rice.

Heh...let 'em.

I'm thinkin' I should bust out my Batman hater pic...just in case :bigsmile:

i think i care so much because I'm so used to being judged. and in a bad way. so i do everything i can to be accepted i guess. i mean i know that sounds sad and bad but like being judged by everything (by your own father) has basically made me hate myself. so i try to please everyone because i'm afraid of being hated and not good enough. i was never good enough for my dad so now i have to please everyone else.

Because I've got everything else for people to be jealous of.

Now I want people to be jealous of me looking good to.

I think we all care what others think more than we want to let on. There is some power dynamics involved in presenting a "not caring" attitude. I think the difference is how much we let it control our lives, our decisions, our thinking/emotions/etc.

Maybe I'm hung up on definitions/semantics and when you say you couldn't care less, what you mean is that other people's opinions have very little affect on your life. I guess some might say that the same thing as not caring. I'd still say that there is an effect initially - a reaction (caring) of some kind. But experience, emotional development, intrinsic personality, cultural influences, etc. all come into play with what happens next. For you, it may just be a blip and it's gone. For others it might be very emotional or even devastating.

I agree about the idea of words only having the power YOU/I/anyone gives them. However, convincing others of that can be a tough sell. Consider offensive words like racial epithets. Where is the line between my choice of a word and the meaning you attach to it? Am I responsible at all for any of the meaning you attach to it? Sorry, maybe that's veering off into a different discussion altogether.

I have my two daughters and their opinions of me matter, but other than that I don't give much thought to what others think. Most people are morons and since they are really low on the food chain their opinions mean nothing.

(I hope the above statement comes off just as pompous as it does in my head! )

I choose to be a Godly father for my daughters and don't ask others if they approve or not. I'm not perfect nor do I claim to be. However, I know when I screw up and don't need others to put their 2 cents in. I'm my own worse critic and don't care to hear their rendition repeated over and over.

I do care that people see me as example of how fathers should behave, but as far as what they think? I have no control over other people feelings or thoughts and I refuse to give myself that much credit or blame in the matter.

That's deep, huh? Sorry...

Amen to that!

You wouldn't care what other people think of you if you knew how seldom they do.