Why is this not enough?

I can't understand why he would be so cruel. I wouldn't accept that from my husband at all. First of all my husband would NEVER say anything like that to me. I have had 3 kids, my breasts are saggy and I am 54 years old. I'm not a skinny rail but my husband still thinks I am hot and loves when play around. I am so shocked that your husband would say such horrible things. I would be so hurt and would never forgive or forget that he said that.

Keep watching "Snapped" or "Women who Kill" hahahahaha!

He might realize what he has someday, but by then it will be to late, cuz you'll be long over his *kitten*.
I really feel for you and best wishes.

my husband told me that my body is unattractive to him (mainly my breasts, but he's also told me before that the loose skin/stretch marks on my stomach is unattractive). I know that my breasts aren't as perky as when I was younger/before children. I know that I have stretch marks and loose skin from the pregnancies. But do I really have to look as though I've never had children in order to be attractive? Do I seriously need a boob job and tummy tuck and liposuction and then photoshop on top of that to be considered beautiful? Why can't just taking care of myself be enough?

I can't believe someone who says they love you would make you feel not good enough because of physical reason. You gave him the best miracle anyone could ask for, giving life and you have done it more than once. In my opinion, every single stretch mark should be considered beautiful because of what it represents, he is definitely the one with a problem and I would be offended.

I could physically feel my heart drop when I read your opening post. Women have in our very design a need to feel attractive and desireable. When men show desire for us it validates our feminity and gives us a sense of worth. I have known the ache of not being wanted by a husband and it hurts me to know that someone else is experiencing that.

I couldn't even begin to advise you in this. This is a man you have built a life with. Suggesting divorce is irresponsible to all the lives involved. But, perhaps you should tell him how deeply this has hurt you. Tell him that this more than just surface to you...more than skin. Your body, soul and spirit all long to be viewed as beautiful and desireable.

I would also like to recommend a book to you. It's called "Captivating" and it's by John Eldridge. I think every single woman on the planet should read this book. It played a huge part in my healing after my divorce in 2008.

Best wishes to you.

I am so very sorry that you are going through this...I know how badly that must have hurt. I have a friend who I consider a sister that went through a similar situation. She is a tiny girl, and her son was over 10 lbs - needed a c-section and her body was never the same. He stopped touching her - removed all physical intimacy from their marriage and told her that he thought her body was disgusting. My heart broke for her, and she was shattered. Long story short, she ended up having an affair with the first guy that demonstrated to her that she was beautiful - and her marriage ended. Which just adds to the heartbreak.

Sometimes we don't realize that our words have such power. I would suggest talking to him in a non-confrontational way - and let him know how deeply you are hurting. You have no control over saggy boobs and stretch marks - it happens when we have our babies. He should be proud of that...and honor you - not tear you down. And don't you dare have any kind of cosmetic surgery for him...if it is something that you want - by all means, do it. But not for someone else. What happens if something goes wrong with the surgery? There are no guarantees that a surgery will go well...how would he feel then?

Regardless of how you handle this - I would really suggest that you find someone to talk to. I have a feeling if he said something like this about your body, he is probably saying other things that have undermined your self-confidence for years. Just my intuition kicking in. You deserve better, and he needs to fix this. Give him the opportunity to do so, but start standing up for yourself. Don't let him get away with that type of comment again without saying something. Best wishes to you...

Your husband sounds like a jerk. You gave him many beautiful children and put your body through all that stress of childbirth, nursing, and the stress of being a mother, and this is his opinion of you?

I'm sure he looks like The Rock right?

The most tired breasts are still prettier than a *kitten*. Just sayin'.

I get weekly botox injections down there so they're as smooth as eggs.

First of all, out of respect for you, I cannot say what I REALLY THINK of him. Does he realize most women out there..either their breasts are those of Victoria secret's material...or cosmetic...only a few are real...and many women I know who think they have big ones...have big wads of fat there. Let's face it, when you lose weight, it comes from there too. If my husband uttered those words to me...I would tell him...don't ever sleep with both eyes closed. I know for a fact that you are fine and your husband needs some big time attitude adjustment. i would focus on how to adjust that....would it be a big withdrawal from the bank and shopping spree (cause those Victoria Secret bra's aren't cheap:) ), no dinner and whatever else you want to withhold , or a night or two of going out and never explaining where you been.... idk what your answer is, only you do. I know what I would do...I think you know that he is disrespectful. Don't settle for his BS

I forgot this....I was at a party once...this woman's hubby came over and was an ignorant sob...says to her...YOu are so fat.....in front of a group of us and I was a stranger to them...she answers....well I can do something about it...you're ugly and there's not a damn thing you can do about it...he walked away.

I can't see your pic but it doesn't matter. Regardless of what we look like, we ALL deserve someone who loves us and truly finds us beautiful just the way we are. Maybe you should start by taking a look inside yourself to see why you don't feel good enough to deserve that. And if your husband is not someone who appreciates all of you, maybe he doesn't deserve to have ANY of you.

Sorry to seem harsh, but I wasted a lot of my life this way and it makes me sad and angry to see the same happen to anyone else.
Good luck.

I see a lot of "He's a jerk" replies. Yet my wife told me the same thing. "I am not attracted to you physically any more. If you want sex, lose the weight." Is she a jerk too?

I was offended and almost went on an eating binge "just to spite her."

Six years of marital therapy and and fighting have led me to the conclusion that it is easier t olose the weight and get healthy. To do this to please me and keep me healthy, rather than to please her. I might as well maintain me and get attractive for her as an after thought, rather than doing whatever to be attractive to her.

In your case surgery is not really necessary to be healthy, right? Don't maim yourself to please him. Just keep working out and being your best. He's going to age too, ya know. You can tell him the same thing about his "relaxing" muscular appearence....and wait for him to see the beautiful PERSON that's been in front of him all along.