Anorexia recovery: Calorie suggestions?

I'm also going to go with the poster above me suggesting a professional...
It's a long road through recovery and it's not something to do yourself. Also, saying that you're 5'9 and 125lb but you want to lose weight again worries me. You and I both know that's not healthy, it's all in your head that you don't look good.
Good luck with everything and take care of yourself, your wellbeing is most important

I don't know this site can help you if you would rather pick weight over health.
You are the same height and weight as me, and this is as low as I want to go, as health suffers when you go lower.
It is the very bottom end of the ideal weight range for our height.
And I speak as a former anorexia sufferer myself, who was once 70Ibs.
Do you want to waste more of your life trying to maintain an unrealistic weight, or actually get healthy so you can enjoy life to its fullest before it is too late?

I noticed in another thread, saraht23 said:

You can find reasonably priced nutritionists in your area. I saw one a few weeks ago for only $50. I just called my local hospital and they referred me to her.

I don't know this site can help you if you would rather pick weight over health.
You are the same height and weight as me, and this is as low as I want to go, as health suffers when you go lower.
It is the very bottom end of the ideal weight range for our height.
And I speak as a former anorexia sufferer myself, who was once 70Ibs.
Do you want to waste more of your life trying to maintain an unrealistic weight, or actually get healthy so you can enjoy life to its fullest before it is too late?

I know, I know. I'm trying to stop wasting away before it's too late. And just, everyone carries weight differently, and I hate the way I'm carrying mine. Is it too personal if I asked how much you eat to keep your healthy weight?

I exercise most days, by cycling an hour to 150 minutes, and am eating around 2000-2200 most days to maintain it. I focus on healthy meals like fish with rice or a baked potato and vegetables, or tonight, a baked sweet potato with cottage cheese and vegetables, sometimes a big stew packed with veg and beans. I snack on fruit and have a treat each day, and peanut butter on bananas. Feel free to friend me if you want to check out my diary.

And yes, you might gain a bit temporarily as your body gets used to having a decent amount of food in it, but it will balance out, especially if you work out. Starvation is such an unpleasant way to contemplate spending the rest of your life, you need to work on a balance, but I think you know that.

I'm currently recovering from anorexia. I'm only three weeks into ACTIVELY trying to get better, and have already made leaps and bounds both mentally and physically.

There's no way around the "ridiculous" weight gain. Recovery includes weight gain. Unless you want to be miserable, obsessed, and restricting the rest of your life and, down the road, run into bigger health problems than you can imagine right now, you have to eat. To gain weight. Stop all the restricting and stop hating your body for what it simply isn't, and accept and learn to love what it naturally is.

Sorry, I know that's not what you - I mean, your eating disorder - wanted to hear.

This is your long-term health we're talking about here; it's not a waste of anyone's money. Heck, if I had the money for it myself, I'd offer to pay for you, deadset! It's very important that you have proper educated ongoing post-anorexia care, as even now there is a psychological side to your journey as well as the physical one.

It's just that my dad's going through a divorce right now and is paying for so, so much. That's very sweet of you to say. I've had a psychologist in the past when I was at one of my peaks of anorexia but she refused to work with me anymore because I refused help...

I know, I know, but this is one of those things that's just too important to feel guilty over. It's also not your fault you've gotten unwell and need some extra help. It doesn't have to be a psychologist, at this point a dietician with some background in anorexia recovery might be even more helpful. Are you in a position to work at the moment? If it makes you feel better, maybe you can just get a "loan" from your dad and pay him back as you're able to.

I am 28 years "post" anorexic. Anorexia is a MENTAL illness; you NEED counseling to change your THOUGHTS behind your behaviors. I'm not sure if I can call my journey a success or not - I rationalized eating so well that I gained too much weight and that brought new health issues. I know I still have unhealthy thoughts about my eating, my body, my weight... I don't believe it's possible to get over it on your own, or even with a short-term counseling session. You can probably get yourself to a number on the scale that you can live with, but that doesn't mean your anorexia is gone. Look hard in your area for local resources. Even call the local high school and ask where they refer teens with anorexia. Maybe the county has dieticians. Maybe there's a Christian recovery center in your area that has a sliding fee scale. It's worth it. It's not about the calories or the number on the scale. It's about being healthy and being the beautiful woman God created you to be.

This is your long-term health we're talking about here; it's not a waste of anyone's money. Heck, if I had the money for it myself, I'd offer to pay for you, deadset! It's very important that you have proper educated ongoing post-anorexia care, as even now there is a psychological side to your journey as well as the physical one.

It's just that my dad's going through a divorce right now and is paying for so, so much. That's very sweet of you to say. I've had a psychologist in the past when I was at one of my peaks of anorexia but she refused to work with me anymore because I refused help...

I know, I know, but this is one of those things that's just too important to feel guilty over. It's also not your fault you've gotten unwell and need some extra help. It doesn't have to be a psychologist, at this point a dietician with some background in anorexia recovery might be even more helpful. Are you in a position to work at the moment? If it makes you feel better, maybe you can just get a "loan" from your dad and pay him back as you're able to.

I actually believe my school has a free counselor who specializes in self-harm and eating disorders (I'm trying to recover from both). I'd made an appointment to start seeing her but then I decided I wanted to recover on my own so I figured I'd better not waste her time when I'd figured out what I wanted to do.

You wouldn't be "wasting her time"; the best time to see a counsellor is once you've made up your mind, because they become a key part of your support team. I still think a dietician would be a good approach right now, but the counsellor could be just as good. Consellors and therapists are there to help you get things organised in your head, and to give you advice, support and encouragement to get to a healthier place.

I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say I have been where you are, and know how hard it is, feel free to add me if you want to chat

I have come to a place where I finally will choose health over weight, and I have to say, that physically, I feel fantastic having gained some weight. Emotionally it is tougher because I am not used to seeing myself this way, but I have realized that I love feeling healthy and not fainting/ getting tired/ getting stared at/ getting commented on how thin I am/ growing too much hair on my body because my body was trying so darn hard to heat itself/ all the other crap that comes along with an eating disorder. I still look in the mirror and know that I see a distorted and unrealistic image of myself, but knowing that helps me to try to see past that. I think about all the women in my life who I consider beautiful... my sister, my friends etc, and to be honest none of them are even close to the size 00 that I was... they are more like size 8's and 10's or more and they are beautiful inside and out. I strive to be like them, and to accept myself... I know you weren't looking for a lecture about recovery, but here I am.

I think for now, take it a day at a time, try to learn to love yourself and value your health, eat as healthy as you can, and slowly increase your exercise. Get professional help if possible and if not, do everything in your power to just remain REASONABLE (meaning no extremes in either direction... binge-eating, starving, excessive exercise etc). Big hugs to you!

This
Any eating disorder is a mental disorder and in order to recover from it, one must understand the reasoning behind it. IMHO, you're going to need to change your mindset or you're going to have a very difficult time overcoming it - and that takes the help of a good and compassionate therapist. Speaking from my own experience from the other side of the fence, it wasn't until I realized WHY I felt the way about my body that I did, that I could truly go forward to make the changes.

I wish you the very best in your journey.
:flowerforyou:

please see a nutritionist...especially with suffering from anorexia, it's a lot more complicated than just going on a very slow weight gain diet because it could lead to you not gaining enough weight, to you slipping back into the anorexia, to so many things. also, with anorexia it's about a lot more than just weight...so my vote is for you to see a nutritionist who has experience in eating disorders and/or therapist....