Do you ever do the fart and blow?

I don't know if all dogs do this, I guess I will be a bit disappointed if they do, but when my aunt comes over with her 8 year old black lab, he is laying in front of the television chilling out, maybe dozing off. He suddenly lets one go, and it stinks. All you hear is this massive sigh, like oh darn it I did it again, and then he gets up and swooshes it around violently with his tail. Just so we all get to smell it. He's a very thoughtful pooch.

My 5 year old chocolate lab loves to fart in his sleep. His are usually like air... like 'shhhhhh'.... wait for it, wait for it.... aw DAMN. They stink so bad too, and take like ten minutes to go away. He never gives us the courtesy of fanning it with his tail. He just lays there and cuts his eyes at me like, 'did you hear that? well get ready for it.;

for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on

Why? Do you fart when you are giving blow jobs? Sorry... had to be a smarty pants. :drinker: :bigsmile:

I usually do the drive by if it's gonna be a stinker.....meaning I get the hell outta Dodge really quick! (better if there's someone you can blame it on, though! ;-)

i blame the dogs or i drop and dash


AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an *kitten*, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

* HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like **** and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his *kitten*-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but ****s himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who ****

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

This is me, that's why I never get away with it!

for some reason I thought this thread was about farting and blow jobs....carry on people carry on

Why? Do you fart when you are giving blow jobs? Sorry... had to be a smarty pants. :drinker: :bigsmile:

what happens at Applebees stays at Applebees lmao:smokin:

ewww hahahahahha

:noway: OH, DEAR GAWD !! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

best laugh i have had all day reading ur comment literally had tears rolling down my face :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

My husband lets out stink bombs at night and pulls the covers over my head, but when he falls asleep in his recliner, I fart on his head.

what are you talking about?!?!

Girls don't fart...they fluff.

Uh....I've heard this before but I thought "fluff" was a junior position in the adult film business.

How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol

I am so thankful I'm in the gym alone when I'm there. Running totally makes me toot!! This thread is cracking me up. I'm sitting at the kid's karate class laughing like crazy.

remeber if you fart at the kids karate class, crop dust and blame it on the children lol

I think my most memorable fart was when I was doing a weekend spiritual seminar in an old hotel with a forum I used to moderate.

We had all been sitting for several hours in a mediumship demonstration, after a meal that involved brussels sprouts and I had been holding one in for the duration. We the doors opened and I left the room, I paused and gave a little push, and the most almighty fart let loose, and echoed off the wooden floors.

Another moderator who had just headed along the hall froze on the spot, turned and said 'Who spoke?'.

The poor guy behind her also stopped and denied all knowledge.

It was kind of obvious who it was as I was on the floor, wetting myself with laughter.

How about farting at the gym. That's livin the dream baby.

Oh all the time but thankfully the machines are usually loud enough that nobody hears and I hope the fans blow the smell away lol

I am so thankful I'm in the gym alone when I'm there. Running totally makes me toot!! This thread is cracking me up. I'm sitting at the kid's karate class laughing like crazy.

remeber if you fart at the kids karate class, crop dust and blame it on the children lol

LMAO!!!!

.

I don't know if all dogs do this, I guess I will be a bit disappointed if they do, but when my aunt comes over with her 8 year old black lab, he is laying in front of the television chilling out, maybe dozing off. He suddenly lets one go, and it stinks. All you hear is this massive sigh, like oh darn it I did it again, and then he gets up and swooshes it around violently with his tail. Just so we all get to smell it. He's a very thoughtful pooch.

every time my black lab farts, she gets scared and tries to run away from it. never fails, when we see her scooting down the hall we know to watch out for dog fart smell.. lol

I think my most memorable fart was when I was doing a weekend spiritual seminar in an old hotel with a forum I used to moderate.

We had all been sitting for several hours in a mediumship demonstration, after a meal that involved brussels sprouts and I had been holding one in for the duration. We the doors opened and I left the room, I paused and gave a little push, and the most almighty fart let loose, and echoed off the wooden floors.

Another moderator who had just headed along the hall froze on the spot, turned and said 'Who spoke?'.

The poor guy behind her also stopped and denied all knowledge.

It was kind of obvious who it was as I was on the floor, wetting myself with laughter.

nice! Mine goes back to the tender age of six. I was in the UK at the time in a Fish and Chips shop and I let one go which, due to my attempts to rebottle the genie, came off sounding just like a siren. So much so that people went to the window to look for the firetruck. Except for my mom who looked at me with a face red from laughter lol.

I just almost spit my oatmeal out trying to contain the laughter!