Big Black Women
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Beyonce is not overweight...wtf....she's just not "anorexic" like most t.v girls...I don't think Beyonce is overweight.0 -
Let me be clear.
A woman can be beautiful and be over-weight, but don't tell me she is beautiful BECAUSE she is overweight.
I uh... can see why that was said but.... Let me just say this...
I love this topic. It's one that I haven't seen MUCH on MFP, but it interests me because I've seen the posts where our white sistas complain about their "big fat BUTTS" as if they're a bad thing. (lol)
It's a black thing. I grew up hoping wishing and praying to be THICK. It's praised and adored. I in fact, STILL want to be THICK, just not in an unhealthy way like I am now. It's deep rooted and an ancestral symbol of fertility and wealth. Women who were thicker (more body fat or perceived body fat) were able [or thought to be able] to carry babies (or more sons) for our men and procreate. Men WITH these women were seen as wealthy and verile because they could feed these thick mamas and please them too. (heh heh) and they were looked up to and admired. During slavery, these women were even cut certain "breaks" because their masters were attracted to their "hyper-sexual" body shapes. The masters would sleep with these women and treat them like they were walking breasts and butts, then they would go to bed with their own wives and talk down about the slaves to keep their wives secure. --- so that's how down the line we (the black community) got the idea that "thicka-than-a-snicka" was the WAY to be, while our while brothas and sistas were thinking the opposite. Different regions and cultures from wayyyyy back, and then from when we first got here in America. So there's NO DOUBT that it's not only encouraged, but congratulated and sought after to be "big".
I understand the frustration behind the OP's rant, but to go so far as to say Beyonce was overweight.... really? WHERE? lol
The bottom line is that we ALL must be happy with US. I noticed the OP mentioned Monique. I feel a few ways about her book and about how the OP mentioned it. Do you consider yourself a skinny B****? If so, worrying about what Monique or ANY woman fat, skinny, or otherwise has to say about you is the LEAST of your worries. A b**** is a female dog. Why would you identify with that? So on that note FAT B******* are evil, PURPLE B****** are evil, and so on and so forth. You are what you answer to.
There is a deep rooted preference for thicker women in our culture. Yet our culture and the inhabitants and participators of it do not have to live your life. Live and BE the way that's healthy for YOU, and don't apologize for it. When I decided to lose weight, it was because my precious heart could no longer take the drama of the extra weight. So YES... I am beautiful and overweight AND I am beautiful BECAUSE I'm overweight.... But I will be beautiful at WHATEVER weight, because I've already decided that I am.0 -
The majority of America is fat...Blacks and Latinos are both a minority...so....who's the other percentage?
This isn't a contest of "who's the fattest?"....0 -
Wow, that's a perspective I had never thought about! I frequently think people are being over sensitive when they bring up race differences...but I certainly think you have some real grounds in your argument. And I live in Montana, where there are like NO black people (I wish we had a little more cultural variety here :frown: ), but I STILL feel like I have felt the influence you are talking about.
Good for you lady, soldier on, soldier on! :flowerforyou:0 -
You know what word ive grown to despise because of this issue? "Thick" Ugh i hate it now! Ive always been called "Thick" ive been told so many times that thick is beautiful but i was NOT happy at all when i was "Thick" and i had the boobs the butt and the thighs I hated them all so much but i was at such conflict with myself Everyone else thinks its beautiful why don't i? After figuring out i was never going to be able to accept myself that way I got Fit and i love it my breast shrunk along with my butt my thighs are now toned (my mom says im starting to look like a boy -__-)0
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Love the post!!!0
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You go girl!:glasses:0
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well said!0
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I think everyone should have their own opinion on everything.. there maybe some people out there that doesn't think beyonce is overweight.. I don't know how much she weighs.. She don't look overweight.. but everything is according to your bmi..I think everyone should be proud to be who they are.. and if you don't like youself change it.. but people should't worry about what other people are doing.. if they want to live their life that way they have the right to.. and women and men have their preference on who they think they look good.. i know alot of men who don't like skinny women..everyone is different on who they like and who they don't .. and everyone should respect that...0
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I agree with you 100%. It shouldnt be this way but it is...You were able to express exactly what I have been thinking. TY for putting this post out here.0 -
I have to admit, I am slightly afraid to participate in this thread.0
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this is when everyone went crazy and called her "fat"
and this is from an article where there they talk about her "hot pants and sexy dance moves" with NO mention of her weight
Both of them are very beautiful women.
I don't think women should be told that they have to gain or lose weight in order to be beautiful. Why can't we just be at the weight that's healthy for us and be beautiful? Why should we be pressured to be anything other than healthy?
However, when I gained 50 lbs and I felt horrible about myself, I must admit that I loved having African American men still telling me that I was beautiful. And, they were pretty good looking too, so that just made it that much better! :blushing:0 -
I'm also a plus sized black woman.I've been on this roller coaster ride before. The first time that I lost weight, I was told to stop losing weight because I looked sick. That did get in my head and I gained the weight back. Now I have high blood pressure and diabetes (temporarily). Yes, I love me know matter what my size but this time its about being a healthier me and getting off the medications, which hopefully will be on my next doctors visit. I totally agree that the expectations for black females are different but it's up to all of us to take control of our health.0
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Please do not let the OP's comment about Beyonce throw you off the very valid points she's making. As a biracial woman my white family is constantly on me about gaining weight and getting "big" while my black boyfriend says if I lose weight I will have no booty and my black friends say I will look like a bobblehead. At the end of the day I have to do what's going to make ME happy!0
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I remember reading an article years ago about a study whose conclusion was that African-American women don't tie their self-esteem as closely to their weight as do caucasian women of similar ages. OP's post just reminded me of that article. Not being AA myself, I don't know if that study was accurate or not. Interesting though!
I read a similar study. Based upon my friends and observations, I think Black women do suffer from self esteem issues due to size, but are much harder to read, and they gain pseudo acceptance/affirmation by other overweight Black women and a percentage of Black men.
I also think weight goals are much lower for White women then Black women however. It seems Black women would like to be slimmer and curvy, and White women want to be slim.
A good visual is comparing the Real Housewives of Atlanta vs. the Real Housewives of Orange County, if you are into those shows, not saying I am...:embarassed:0 -
I have to admit, I am slightly afraid to participate in this thread.
Uh uh, don't be. I think honest discussions about these things is good, answers questions that we all probably have. I have a few myself, but don't want to derail the thread!0 -
I agree with this 100%. I am and have always been the biggest of all the people my age in my family. it is because of the choices I made in my life not because of what someone said. African Ammerican woman are not known to be overweight, they are known for having curves. It's all about choices and people need to be held accountable for themselves and stop putting the blame on what the world thinks you should be.In all honesty, America is FAT, and it has been getting fatter since the '70s at a terrifying rate. EVEN ASIANS ARE FAT IN AMERICA!! This applies to ALL races in America; if you don't believe it, take a look at some photos of people in the early 70s or before -- yourself, your family, any random people at all--how do they look? a bit different than the general population today, eh?
We are fat because we eat junk. We make excuses that it's cheaper, easier, whatever, but it is what it is. My great grandmother had 14 children. FOURTEEN CHILDREN. She lived on a farm and they grew all their own food. She did not have a car, she did not have a dishwasher, she did not have INDOOR PLUMBING. She was poor. She was thin.
Poor people used to be thin. Now poor people are fat? No. Americans are fat because we have become lazy and forgotten what real food is and how to prepare it.
Tell you what, a few years ago I visited Armenia 3 times. I am 5'4 and weighed about 130 lbs (right what I weigh now) at the time. I was a fitness instructor then, as I am now. Guess what? I was F-A-T in Armenia. My luggage was lost and after 5 days I went to shop for a new skirt. I could not fit in size large there. That's right, Miss Size 4 (American fake-vanity size 4, of course) could not fit into an Armenian size large.
They do not have McDonald's, they do not use microwaves, they do not have partially hydrogenated oils or even prepared foods in their grocery stores! You want a jar of spaghetti sauce? forget it! Buy some tomatoes, onions and herbs and make it yourself. Interesting, in the capital city, Yerevan, there are very few middle class people--you see rich people in Hummers, and you see old ladies walking with donkeys, but NO ONE IS FAT.
There is no solution in "accepting" that you will always be fat, or that your certain race is meant to be fat, or skinny or whatever.
You control what you eat. You decide what to buy. A meal at McDonald's for my family of 6 is NOT cheap. It would cost over $45 and have essentially no nutritional value. However, tonight I will grill a 2-lb. organic marinated tri tip from Whole Foods for about $23, a 1/4 lb. of cabbage slaw from their salad bar ($1.75) and a bag of organic tortillas for about $4. I will make guacamole from 2 avocados ($1.50) a some chopped onion and tomato and a squeeze of lemon. Also I think I will grill some asparagus (2.99 for a pound), and serve some fresh strawberries and raspberries ($5 from farmers market).
So tonight for LESS THAN $40, my family of 6 will enjoy tri-tip soft tacos with homemade guacamole, asparagus, and fresh berries for dinner. And we will have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.
blessings.0 -
you are on point with the word "THICK" I hate the word and guys used it like its a compliment.0
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Obviously being a black man I understand the original poster's thread which illustrates some very good points. Where I grew up in south central Los Angeles there was a fine line from curvy/thick and overweight. Remember the song by the Commodores, Brick House (when Lionel Richie was still the lead singer)
She's a brick----house
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon
We're together everybody knows,
This is how the story goes.
She knows she got everything a woman needs....... to get a man, yeah.
How can she lose with what she use
36-24-36, what a winning hand!
Cause she's a Brick
HOUSE!
Most men I know (black, white, and asian) prefer a woman with at the very least some curves, that desirable hourglass figure. 36-24-36 is not overweight in my personal opinion. I'm wondering if the desire for overweight women (black/white/otherwise) is a geographic/regional condition.
However I will admit (something that has been discussed in this thread), it appears there is a demographic sociological standpoint to body image in black culture. For example where I currently live in the Seattle area my gym (24 Hour Fitness) is in my estimation for males 45% black 50% white 5% Asian, however for females 80% white 10% black 10% Asian.
There is a fine line in the media for weight in terms of black women. Beyonce is and has always been considered sexy because of her curves whereas Oprah has been considered fat a majority of the time.0 -
I hope I don't offend anyone saying this but I was unaware that black women were pushed to be heavier. I just assumed your culture was more accepting of fuller figures and quite honestly I was a little envious of it. Thank for you for informing me of this misconception. I literally learn something new everyday on this site. Good luck I know you will do well!
Not so much "pushed" to be heavier as picked on for being smaller or picked on for not being "the right sort of big". In the south (where my family is from...i dont consider myself a "southern sistah"...HATE that term...), people are BIG as an AVERAGE. When you don't fit the average, or you want to change the average, people think you're an idiot. "Why change when you weren't as big as whats her name down the block?" "Skinny people are uppity." Or the wonderful phrase EVERYONE loves "skinny b*tch." You dont even have to be skinny. Just smaller than the average.
And I don't believe it's just culture, but location. And class status. I knew one girl who's parents lived in the EXTREMELY upper part of society? She HAD to stay thin. For some reason "thin" equals "rich and beautiful" in some places. If she gained weight at all, people wouldn't associate with her.
Or further south, where another girl i knew simply CAN'T gain weight. she naturally stays at 95 pounds for some reason. And people constantly pick at her for being tiny and call her a b*itch and they theink she thinks she's better than everybody. Not to mention she has lighter skin, which makes a whole lot of STUPID trouble for her on top of that.
But that last point is a whole other topic. It's not JUST culture. It's also WHERE you live and the people who live there that shape the general right and wrong body image of that place. Unfortunately.
AMEN! I have dealt with this all my life from black women! I have never thought I was better than anyone but boy I was blamed for it. Now I am fat 158 lbs and some still give me crap for being too little when I am now obese.. I am only 5'2" I can't count how many times I have been threatened, given dirty looks etc. etc. by mean heavy black women... oh and don't be a lighter complexion.. that is a crime too. I used to try my best to fit in with black women in the south and the only ones that accepted my friendship were thin and not dark... WTF is that? we are all black...0 -
I think you're missing an important point - many Black women naturally have curves. Beyonce is not overweight. You can have a huge *kitten* and have abs. Look at Serena Williams. It's should never be acceptable to have a gut and chow down on fried chicken all day; belly fat is dangerous, but for those women who naturally have *kitten*, hips, thighs, and breasts no matter how hard they work out and diet, they should embrace who they are. You sound really resentful for not being one of those women. It's true that there are many misguided beliefs when it comes to diet and exercise in the Black community, but a lot of that has political and social underlying factors. Why do most McDonald's commercials target Black audiences? Research and do your history. It's not our fault, but it's definitely time for us to stop being the victim and do something about it.
I agree with this quote everything she said is how I felt!0 -
I never did understand that... Everyone like worships Beyonce because she's so sexy. and yet i feel fat as a hippo in a size 7 jeans. She's obviously bigger!! I think it's because of her boobs honestly...Great post btw0
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I love this post
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Don't listen to what others think is best for you. Do what you know is best for you and you will be fine. Surround yourself with people who support your goals and your lifestyle. Thats hard sometimes with family because you can't choose them. But you can make it clear where you stand on the subject. All the best to you.0
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I think its a cop out to blame choices on environment and economical status. Every convenience store I've been to has crap soda, sugar drinks, junk food everywhere. I can't recall the last time I walked into a "suburban" convenience store and anyone handing me a wheat grass to go or humas in a hurry. If you frequent convenience stores you get the crap no matter where you live. It's about choices. If you are hungry stop at a food lion or grocery store and pick up some fruit and maybe some protein or deli meats.
I've been a big woman since I was 18 years old. I've taken flack from every family member and even had school classmates say "gosh what happened to you!?" Did I blame the environment or eco system I grew up in? Did I walk around and say it's not my fault!! I didn't buy hoho's and put them in the freezer and eat a box at a time I swear it! lol Yay whatever...anyhow I like this thread but stereotypes will always exist.
I agree that Beyonce is celebrated for her curves but Christina Aguilera looks like a heifer according to the mass media. Makes ZERO sense. Just be healthy...who cares what anyone else thinks.0 -
I hope I don't offend anyone saying this but I was unaware that black women were pushed to be heavier. I just assumed your culture was more accepting of fuller figures and quite honestly I was a little envious of it. Thank for you for informing me of this misconception. I literally learn something new everyday on this site. Good luck I know you will do well!
Not so much "pushed" to be heavier as picked on for being smaller or picked on for not being "the right sort of big". In the south (where my family is from...i dont consider myself a "southern sistah"...HATE that term...), people are BIG as an AVERAGE. When you don't fit the average, or you want to change the average, people think you're an idiot. "Why change when you weren't as big as whats her name down the block?" "Skinny people are uppity." Or the wonderful phrase EVERYONE loves "skinny b*tch." You dont even have to be skinny. Just smaller than the average.
And I don't believe it's just culture, but location. And class status. I knew one girl who's parents lived in the EXTREMELY upper part of society? She HAD to stay thin. For some reason "thin" equals "rich and beautiful" in some places. If she gained weight at all, people wouldn't associate with her.
Or further south, where another girl i knew simply CAN'T gain weight. she naturally stays at 95 pounds for some reason. And people constantly pick at her for being tiny and call her a b*itch and they theink she thinks she's better than everybody. Not to mention she has lighter skin, which makes a whole lot of STUPID trouble for her on top of that.
But that last point is a whole other topic. It's not JUST culture. It's also WHERE you live and the people who live there that shape the general right and wrong body image of that place. Unfortunately.
AMEN! I have dealt with this all my life from black women! I have never thought I was better than anyone but boy I was blamed for it. Now I am fat 158 lbs and some still give me crap for being too little when I am now obese.. I am only 5'2" I can't count how many times I have been threatened, given dirty looks etc. etc. by mean heavy black women... oh and don't be a lighter complexion.. that is a crime too. I used to try my best to fit in with black women in the south and the only ones that accepted my friendship were thin and not dark... WTF is that? we are all black...
I had no idea that skin complexion and body size were traits subject to discrimination within the black community. Thanks for letting me understand something more about the black experience, particularly in the south. I would never have guessed.0 -
I think Beyonce is not overweight. She is sexy and toned. I think everyone gave Britney a hard time because she was super toned and thin and after her babies she was like an average girl with a little bit of weight on her. Jessica Simpson is big after having her baby. I dont think she cares about her weight though as much as other stars. She wants to make a statement that she is not going to starve to look hot.
You do have a good point though. I'm Mexican and when i hang out with my Mexican friends in the not so privilege part of town I am not fat. I am thin, but when I talk to my white friends or Mexican friends in the more privileged area I am fat. It is confusing, So I think just be the best that you can be that you feel comfortable being. Don't listen to what people say or what TV says.0 -
It's not just black women honey. I live in a poor community and there are more unhealthy foods available than healthy foods. It's all about cost. Pasta is cheap and unhealthy, therefore; it is plentiful.
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^^^^^^^I think this is true.^^^^^^ Don't know who posted this above but i agree.0
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