Why lead a woman on?
Replies
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So let me get this straight ... this guy wanted to cheat on his girl with you, watched you break up with your boyfriend for him, then blew you off with a sudden desire to marry this girl he was about to cheat on, then broke up with her ... and you're wondering why he's screwing with you? I'll tell you why ... it's because he did it before, and you still wanted him, so why would this time be any different?
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
because we're more fun.0 -
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Honey... they aren't exactly banging down my door!!!0 -
You still deserve better then what you're getting!0
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The same reason women use men, to manipulate them, to get there own way... or it's just in their nature... some people just like flirting with each other but they quickly forget that to some the act of flirting opens gates to a huge emotional response.
Sometimes it's intentional & sometimes it isnt... every sex is guilty & the isn't a standard answer
Sometimes the person doing the chasing is guilty, sometimes they misinterpret acts of kindness/friendship as acts of love and affection, I've seen it and experienced it from every side of the fence imaginable & it's never as straight forward as people assume/think. However if this has happened to you I still offer my sympathy and hope you find someone soon
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You still deserve better then what you're getting!
I'm sure I do. But somehow, this is what I get... abusive, self-centered, egotistical rat *kitten*!!0 -
Okay... I'm okay with that...
So let's say hypothetically, (as a man) you didn't get it... but she totally wanted to at a later date. You continue to put out the vibe, but don't act on it.
What is the point of that? Just to piss her off??
been there, done that.... he's probably uncomfortable, for some reason.
one time, when i was skinny and would shave down there... i got a ingrown hair. It was uncomfortable and made me feel gross , so.... yeah, i turned down her advances, for about a week. Messed things up cuz i was renting a room from her, ended up moving out to my own house (long story)
another time with another girl, she was just..... i dunno, just couldn't bring myself to do it, just didnt see her like that. She wasn't very attractive so that didn't help
You didn't have sex with someone because you had an ingrown hair down there? Most men I know would sleep with a woman even if they were covered with a rash and had a big abses on their *kitten*.0 -
You still deserve better then what you're getting!
I'm sure I do. But somehow, this is what I get... abusive, self-centered, egotistical rat *kitten*!!
you get back what you put into the universe...you have to project confidence and maturity to attract the right men.
edited to add Im not saying you are immature...
and you were in a relationship that you left for this man...was he a rat *kitten*?0 -
it's fun to be chased. even when you don't want to get caught.
Agreed!
because i like the idea of a girl being in love with me even if i don't feel the same![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
Don't you think that it is rather ****ty though to make her think you feel the same. Would it be that difficult just to be honest with her?0 -
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Honey... they aren't exactly banging down my door!!!
thats because you're not giving them a fair chance.
not to make too many assumptions here, but let me guess.. you're not exceptionally social.
You dont go out into social situation where they can meet you.
You seem to expect them to knock on your door.
You expect them to remember you after months of not talking and email or call you.
this is *kitten* backwards.
if you want to meet people.. go meet people. be social. go outside your circle of friends.... when you're out, turn around to the table next to you and say hi. when you're in a store, talk to the person in the line. make a joke in public.
not everyone will like you, not everyone wants to talk... but through statistics alone, if you meet enough people, you will meet someone you will atleast be friends with.. maybe more.
then they can introduce you to their friends.. etc.
Thats why the same people that know everyone, also always have a new date. They may or may not be great people... they may not even have great dates.. but they have dates because they're out there... not waiting.
also.. i would never take my advice on the internet.0 -
You still deserve better then what you're getting!
I'm sure I do. But somehow, this is what I get... abusive, self-centered, egotistical rat *kitten*!!
you get back what you put into the universe...you have to project confidence and maturity to attract the right men.
Yeah... I've tried that route.0 -
it's fun to be chased. even when you don't want to get caught.
Agreed!
because i like the idea of a girl being in love with me even if i don't feel the same
Don't you think that it is rather ****ty though to make her think you feel the same. Would it be that difficult just to be honest with her?
yea.
if you're honest.. you lose.0 -
it's fun to be chased. even when you don't want to get caught.
Agreed!
because i like the idea of a girl being in love with me even if i don't feel the same
Don't you think that it is rather ****ty though to make her think you feel the same. Would it be that difficult just to be honest with her?
yea.
if you're honest.. you lose.
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?0 -
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Honey... they aren't exactly banging down my door!!!
thats because you're not giving them a fair chance.
not to make too many assumptions here, but let me guess.. you're not exceptionally social.
You dont go out into social situation where they can meet you.
You seem to expect them to knock on your door.
You expect them to remember you after months of not talking and email or call you.
this is *kitten* backwards.
if you want to meet people.. go meet people. be social. go outside your circle of friends.... when you're out, turn around to the table next to you and say hi. when you're in a store, talk to the person in the line. make a joke in public.
not everyone will like you, not everyone wants to talk... but through statistics alone, if you meet enough people, you will meet someone you will atleast be friends with.. maybe more.
then they can introduce you to their friends.. etc.
Thats why the same people that know everyone, also always have a new date. They may or may not be great people... they may not even have great dates.. but they have dates because they're out there... not waiting.
also.. i would never take my advice on the internet.
You have a good point here. I'm generally friendly and outgoing, but I don't like going out by myself. When I am out by myself, I don't go out of my way to talk to people.0 -
I still think u should leave this guy alone....U deserve better......0
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Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
Because it beats standing there and taking the emotional hurt.
It is true what you put out into the universe comes back.
When I was not like I am now..all I would attact is manipulative jerks.
When I changed my thinking and told myself I am better..I went without dates for a while...but I stopped attracting those icky ones. Believe me they hit on me all the time but I just kind of ignore them. They go away... A guy has to work REAL hard to get my attention. I think a bit like a man because I remove the emotional aspect of it and use my logical side.0 -
it's fun to be chased. even when you don't want to get caught.
Agreed!
because i like the idea of a girl being in love with me even if i don't feel the same
Don't you think that it is rather ****ty though to make her think you feel the same. Would it be that difficult just to be honest with her?
yea.
if you're honest.. you lose.
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
its a game.
its fun.
it has its ups and downs, but if you keep getting back up, eventually you win.
or you can just get a lot of cats.0 -
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Honey... they aren't exactly banging down my door!!!
thats because you're not giving them a fair chance.
not to make too many assumptions here, but let me guess.. you're not exceptionally social.
You dont go out into social situation where they can meet you.
You seem to expect them to knock on your door.
You expect them to remember you after months of not talking and email or call you.
this is *kitten* backwards.
if you want to meet people.. go meet people. be social. go outside your circle of friends.... when you're out, turn around to the table next to you and say hi. when you're in a store, talk to the person in the line. make a joke in public.
not everyone will like you, not everyone wants to talk... but through statistics alone, if you meet enough people, you will meet someone you will atleast be friends with.. maybe more.
then they can introduce you to their friends.. etc.
Thats why the same people that know everyone, also always have a new date. They may or may not be great people... they may not even have great dates.. but they have dates because they're out there... not waiting.
also.. i would never take my advice on the internet.
True story.0 -
(if you aren't considerate of other people's feelings) Why not? :frown:
It all comes down to respecting others, and being honest with yourself, and manning up.
It comes down to alot of things I guess. :happy:
Agreed and well said! 0 -
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
Because it beats standing there and taking the emotional hurt.
It is true what you put out into the universe comes back.
When I was not like I am now..all I would attact is manipulative jerks.
When I changed my thinking and told myself I am better..I went without dates for a while...but I stopped attracting those icky ones. Believe me they hit on me all the time but I just kind of ignore them. They go away... A guy has to work REAL hard to get my attention. I think a bit like a man because I remove the emotional aspect of it and use my logical side.
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.0 -
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
Because it beats standing there and taking the emotional hurt.
It is true what you put out into the universe comes back.
When I was not like I am now..all I would attact is manipulative jerks.
When I changed my thinking and told myself I am better..I went without dates for a while...but I stopped attracting those icky ones. Believe me they hit on me all the time but I just kind of ignore them. They go away... A guy has to work REAL hard to get my attention. I think a bit like a man because I remove the emotional aspect of it and use my logical side.
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
um.. ignore words.
watch actions.
our actual actions are what define who we are.. not the words we say.0 -
Totally.I still think u should leave this guy alone....U deserve better......0 -
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
Because it beats standing there and taking the emotional hurt.
It is true what you put out into the universe comes back.
When I was not like I am now..all I would attact is manipulative jerks.
When I changed my thinking and told myself I am better..I went without dates for a while...but I stopped attracting those icky ones. Believe me they hit on me all the time but I just kind of ignore them. They go away... A guy has to work REAL hard to get my attention. I think a bit like a man because I remove the emotional aspect of it and use my logical side.
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
um.. ignore words.
watch actions.
our actual actions are what define who we are.. not the words we say.
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.0 -
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
He doesn't care enough about you to make you the priority in his life. He is just using you and keeping you as a backup for if it doesn't workout. A guy that really cares about you will make time for you. Go out volunteer do things for others that will appreciate. Focus on yourself and be selfish. If you put off the image that you are desparate..that is projected to others around you.
Do you see a therapist? If not, you should really think about it. It will help you sort stuff out.0 -
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
He doesn't care enough about you to make you the priority in his life. He is just using you and keeping you as a backup for if it doesn't workout. A guy that really cares about you will make time for you. Go out volunteer do things for others that will appreciate. Focus on yourself and be selfish. If you put off the image that you are desparate..that is projected to others around you.
Do you see a therapist? If not, you should really think about it. It will help you sort stuff out.
Not presently.0 -
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.0 -
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.
I really just knew someone would say that. ::needs a vomit emoticon::0 -
um.. ignore words.
watch actions.
our actual actions are what define who we are.. not the words we say.
Absolutely!!0 -
this thread is full of VERY poiniant observations and advice....seems to me like you dont want to take any of it
you DO desvere better but only if YOU truly beleive it.0 -
Sorry
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.
I really just knew someone would say that. ::needs a vomit emoticon:: But seriously, why would you want to be with someone who would cheat on his GF? What makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you as well? 0 -
So let me get this straight ... this guy wanted to cheat on his girl with you, watched you break up with your boyfriend for him, then blew you off with a sudden desire to marry this girl he was about to cheat on, then broke up with her ... and you're wondering why he's screwing with you? I'll tell you why ... it's because he did it before, and you still wanted him, so why would this time be any different?
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Mostly because finding one is something akin to the whole needle in the haystack thing, I'm assuming. Kind of like finding an honest, open, trustworthy, attractive woman who isn't so wrapped up in herself and her 'freedom', 'space'...or her specific checklist of required positive traits that she can't see the forest for the trees.
Here's the thing for me. There's been one or two times in my life...where I've met someone, and truly liked them (this obviously is NOT the case in the OP's situation). We get together...things seem serious. During this period...maybe an issue arises...or something comes up that just totally makes you take a second look at what's going on. Maybe a serious conflict in how you believe children should be raised, or honesty issues on their part...or just a simple difference in some of your vary basic beliefs on how you think a relationship should work. You genuinely care about the person...and maybe you wish it would work, so you keep trying, but deep down you're 95% sure it's screwed.
What do you do? The easy answer (and probably the right one), is to talk to them, explain things, and move on. 99% of the time...this isn't what happens though. I was in one situation where the girls father died, just as I came to the conclusion that things would never work. It took a month of going through the motions so as not to just devastate her further for all the little hints I had to plant to sink in and her finally to decide to 'let me down easy'. In that case, I wasn't accused of leading her on...and she was genuinely sorry that she hurt me (and surprisingly, it did...go figure). In the instance where I brought it up immediately...thinking I was doing the right thing, it was all about 'Then why did you say all those wonderful things?!? Were you just trying to get laid?!?! Men are *kitten*!!!'
Again, go figure.
Anyhow...there you have it, another, completely non sexual or ego based reason for 'leading a woman on'.
What do you do?0
This discussion has been closed.
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