Why lead a woman on?
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Totally.I still think u should leave this guy alone....U deserve better......0 -
Well you just took me back to where I started. Why bother?
Because it beats standing there and taking the emotional hurt.
It is true what you put out into the universe comes back.
When I was not like I am now..all I would attact is manipulative jerks.
When I changed my thinking and told myself I am better..I went without dates for a while...but I stopped attracting those icky ones. Believe me they hit on me all the time but I just kind of ignore them. They go away... A guy has to work REAL hard to get my attention. I think a bit like a man because I remove the emotional aspect of it and use my logical side.
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
um.. ignore words.
watch actions.
our actual actions are what define who we are.. not the words we say.
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.0 -
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
He doesn't care enough about you to make you the priority in his life. He is just using you and keeping you as a backup for if it doesn't workout. A guy that really cares about you will make time for you. Go out volunteer do things for others that will appreciate. Focus on yourself and be selfish. If you put off the image that you are desparate..that is projected to others around you.
Do you see a therapist? If not, you should really think about it. It will help you sort stuff out.0 -
Well see... I think this is what I do. Except, I don't really remove the emotional aspect when it comes to this guy. Most guys never get a second chance after rejecting me. I have to be honest with myself. IF I decide to pursue him (when this started with him pursuing me), then I'll just end up letting him use me. Which is why I think he shuts me out like this, but then he keeps me dangling... it's like he cares, but just not enough to stop playing games.
He doesn't care enough about you to make you the priority in his life. He is just using you and keeping you as a backup for if it doesn't workout. A guy that really cares about you will make time for you. Go out volunteer do things for others that will appreciate. Focus on yourself and be selfish. If you put off the image that you are desparate..that is projected to others around you.
Do you see a therapist? If not, you should really think about it. It will help you sort stuff out.
Not presently.0 -
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.0 -
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.
I really just knew someone would say that. ::needs a vomit emoticon::0 -
um.. ignore words.
watch actions.
our actual actions are what define who we are.. not the words we say.
Absolutely!!0 -
this thread is full of VERY poiniant observations and advice....seems to me like you dont want to take any of it
you DO desvere better but only if YOU truly beleive it.0 -
Sorry
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.
I really just knew someone would say that. ::needs a vomit emoticon::
But seriously, why would you want to be with someone who would cheat on his GF? What makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you as well? 0 -
So let me get this straight ... this guy wanted to cheat on his girl with you, watched you break up with your boyfriend for him, then blew you off with a sudden desire to marry this girl he was about to cheat on, then broke up with her ... and you're wondering why he's screwing with you? I'll tell you why ... it's because he did it before, and you still wanted him, so why would this time be any different?
Why do women go for asshats like this guy when there are good, decent men in the world?
Mostly because finding one is something akin to the whole needle in the haystack thing, I'm assuming. Kind of like finding an honest, open, trustworthy, attractive woman who isn't so wrapped up in herself and her 'freedom', 'space'...or her specific checklist of required positive traits that she can't see the forest for the trees.
Here's the thing for me. There's been one or two times in my life...where I've met someone, and truly liked them (this obviously is NOT the case in the OP's situation). We get together...things seem serious. During this period...maybe an issue arises...or something comes up that just totally makes you take a second look at what's going on. Maybe a serious conflict in how you believe children should be raised, or honesty issues on their part...or just a simple difference in some of your vary basic beliefs on how you think a relationship should work. You genuinely care about the person...and maybe you wish it would work, so you keep trying, but deep down you're 95% sure it's screwed.
What do you do? The easy answer (and probably the right one), is to talk to them, explain things, and move on. 99% of the time...this isn't what happens though. I was in one situation where the girls father died, just as I came to the conclusion that things would never work. It took a month of going through the motions so as not to just devastate her further for all the little hints I had to plant to sink in and her finally to decide to 'let me down easy'. In that case, I wasn't accused of leading her on...and she was genuinely sorry that she hurt me (and surprisingly, it did...go figure). In the instance where I brought it up immediately...thinking I was doing the right thing, it was all about 'Then why did you say all those wonderful things?!? Were you just trying to get laid?!?! Men are *kitten*!!!'
Again, go figure.
Anyhow...there you have it, another, completely non sexual or ego based reason for 'leading a woman on'.
What do you do?0 -
The general theory (no it does not apply to every person) is that men want sex and women want security and both will do what they need to keep all options open for achieving that.0
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Sorry
To quote someone else; "He's just not that into you"
Well he accepted the FB friend request, but he didn't call... you tell me what those actions mean.
I really just knew someone would say that. ::needs a vomit emoticon:: But seriously, why would you want to be with someone who would cheat on his GF? What makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you as well?
Meh... it took me by surprise honestly. But the feelings were already there anyway.0 -
Okay... I'm okay with that...
So let's say hypothetically, (as a man) you didn't get it... but she totally wanted to at a later date. You continue to put out the vibe, but don't act on it.
What is the point of that? Just to piss her off??
So you're saying you want it but he isn't acting on it? Then why don't you?
Ugh! He rejected me once before.
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!0 -
I dont like how many serious replies I have done in this thread.
so instead, im going to just make a sexist joke and not come back
who keeps installing all these computers in the kitchen?0 -
Okay... I'm okay with that...
So let's say hypothetically, (as a man) you didn't get it... but she totally wanted to at a later date. You continue to put out the vibe, but don't act on it.
What is the point of that? Just to piss her off??
So you're saying you want it but he isn't acting on it? Then why don't you?
Ugh! He rejected me once before.
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!
Before... I guess that is why when he said they had broke up I kind of thought things would be different. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that they broke up, but its like he isn't even interested in the friendship. Other than access to spy on my FB page.0 -
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!
I call BS on this. Attraction is an important part of a relationship...this is a given. I may or may not be attracted to a person who is nearly 100lbs overweight...but if I am when she starts taking care of herself and loses it...it makes me an *kitten*?
Again, total BS.0 -
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!
I call BS on this. Attraction is an important part of a relationship...this is a given. I may or may not be attracted to a person who is nearly 100lbs overweight...but if I am when she starts taking care of herself and loses it...it makes me an *kitten*?
Again, total BS.
agreed.0 -
<<<< This was a perfectly confident and content woman last week.
For those who keep referring to my confidence level, generally I am confident, but sometimes it is hard to hold on to that 100% of the time... particularly when I look back over the years of my crappy love life.0 -
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!
I call BS on this. Attraction is an important part of a relationship...this is a given. I may or may not be attracted to a person who is nearly 100lbs overweight...but if I am when she starts taking care of herself and loses it...it makes me an *kitten*?
Again, total BS.
agreed.
Agreed.0 -
Okay... I'm okay with that...
So let's say hypothetically, (as a man) you didn't get it... but she totally wanted to at a later date. You continue to put out the vibe, but don't act on it.
What is the point of that? Just to piss her off??
So you're saying you want it but he isn't acting on it? Then why don't you?
Ugh! He rejected me once before.
Did he reject you before or after you lost 83lbs? If he rejected u then he is not worth your time doesn't know what he is missing!
Before... I guess that is why when he said they had broke up I kind of thought things would be different. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that they broke up, but its like he isn't even interested in the friendship. Other than access to spy on my FB page.
He didnt want you when you where heavy and now that your skinny and hot he is interested! Tell him to piss off!!!!0
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