question for the ladies be honest here?

13

Replies

  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Looks are important. If you aren't physically attracted to someone, you can't have a romantic relationship with that person.

    But, for me, deciding "I can do better" has far more to do with character and how a man treats me than what he looks like.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    looks play a role, but looks aren't always everything.. sometimes, the great looking guys tend to be a-holes. or maybe that's just been my experience. :tongue:

    Yes I agree. It's hard to trust the really good looking guys or the women who will hover around him when you're not looking! lol
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    No. I met my husband when we were very young. Looks come and go, but his intelligence, sense of humor, morals, and work ethic are here to stay. he has pretty eyes, i love the dimples in his cheeks when he smiles, and he's always has nice muscle definition. I appreciate the way he looks, but that's not the reason we've been together 11 years.
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
    attraction has to play a part in it.... but that was a lot bigger when i was younger. As I matured I started to focus on personality a hell of a lot more. You need both for a good relationship imo!
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    No. I met my husband when we were very young. Looks come and go, but his intelligence, sense of humor, morals, and work ethic are here to stay. he has pretty eyes, i love the dimples in his cheeks when he smiles, and he's always has nice muscle definition. I appreciate the way he looks, but that's not the reason we've been together 11 years.

    Sounds like true love to me and a very successful marriage :wink:
  • Batesy76
    Batesy76 Posts: 2
    Not read all the responses yet but if he can make me laugh he has something
  • jazzalea
    jazzalea Posts: 412 Member
    Average joe is great for me.... I don't want perfect... then I have to live up to it......

    People keep talking about personality make me laugh etc............We aren't talking about personality though.... the question was based on first impression alone....... do we rule out someone for being just average or do we give them a chance to show off that personality........If my first impression is too laugh when I see you.... that's prolly not going to be good

    The deal breaker for me is facial hair...... too much is just TOOOOO MUCH...... shudders......
  • christyd4
    christyd4 Posts: 191
    after going through a really rough marriage my whole perspective on what attracts me changed. Yes looks do matter but its a small part of it. I talked to my current boyfriend for a month or so before i even saw his face that allowed me to get to see his personality before his looks.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
    Well, I look at eyes first...then teeth...if they are missing or really botched up ( i know that sounds shallow) I could never look any further.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    Well, I look at eyes first...then teeth...if they are missing or really botched up ( i know that sounds shallow) I could never look any further.

    That's not shallow. A person with no teeth is not exactly attractive (not meaning to be horrible as I know not everyone can afford to purchase new teeth!) but yeah, it really does help the attraction if they have teeth lol
  • babybluefire
    babybluefire Posts: 100 Member
    Looks mean nothing to me in a relationship. I would rather date someone old and frankly hideous then most guys that hit on me now a days.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
    I'm a married lady with kids but I will answer the question.. my hubs thinks I.m a hotty ;)..looks are important yes.. but character/morals and someone that has similiar views is MUCH more important!!!. IMO a physcially handsome man that acts like a jerk is ugly..an average guy that is a good guy is golden! Women want a man they can trust and depend on..
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    Personality before looks. BUT I do believe there has to be attraction as well.

    ^This. If a guy has a really awesome personality, but isn't particularly great looking, I'd most likely give him a chance. If a guy's a jerk though, I don't care if he looks like Ryan Gosling, it's just not going to happen.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,179 Member
    Do you Mr. Average Joe give the woman that just walked with a flat behind but giving you the eye the time of the day?

    You beat me to it. If this is what calls him over and he immediately asks me out without attempting to get to know me, then no, no time of day.
  • nomoreplaying
    nomoreplaying Posts: 36
    When I was in the game (fine and all, like you say) it depended on the first complete sentence a guy spoke to me. Was the language choppy and full of slang? Did he sound like an intelligent guy or a juvenile? As for looks, was he clean and neat and DID HE SMELL GOOD! Those were my factors, but of course the really good looking ones were eye candy, all the time. but I usually didnt give them the time of day!
  • taryn_09
    taryn_09 Posts: 196 Member
    initial attraction is needed i think you base if you'll go up & talk to a stranger first off by the physical attraction part. however im always more personality love a guy who can make me laugh & isnt full of drama. i think looks only get you so far, (& we all know you dont look how you look now forever) if there's no actual connection it wont work & why waste your time. im definitely going to pull the line that looks are NOT everything :]
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    Hmm..Looks only go so far IMO. It may get you a second look, but if your personality stinks, then forgot about it. The men I'm usually interested in are usually humble but attractive. However, if they are lazy or have no goals/ambition, forget about it! Looks fade, but whats in the inside sustains a relationship, IMO!
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    When I was in the game (fine and all, like you say) it depended on the first complete sentence a guy spoke to me. Was the language choppy and full of slang? Did he sound like an intelligent guy or a juvenile? As for looks, was he clean and neat and DID HE SMELL GOOD! Those were my factors, but of course the really good looking ones were eye candy, all the time. but I usually didnt give them the time of day!

    This is sooooo true! If a man ever said something to me that sounded unintelligent or just obnoxious, then I would not pay him any attention. I keep telling people a first impression is a lasting impression.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    People keep talking about personality make me laugh etc............We aren't talking about personality though.... the question was based on first impression alone....... do we rule out someone for being just average or do we give them a chance to show off that personality

    Good point. I will talk to anyone, unless he seems threatening, and I trust my instincts on that. But if I don't find him attractive, I am not going to flirt with him or talk to him in a way that insinuates I might be interested. It's not about thinking I can do better. Like I said before, that's not even how I think about physical appearance. It's just a matter of what appeals to me and what doesn't. "Average" to me might very well be "sexy" to the woman standing next to me.
  • Kellllog
    Kellllog Posts: 81 Member
    Tbh if the guy makes me laugh, we have something in common, and can have a decent conversation then I'm not bothered by looks.
    I have a type that appeals to me visually... But never been involved with anyone that fits the type!
  • saxnviolin
    saxnviolin Posts: 129 Member
    I was always attracted to humor- a funny guy, with a charming personality. I didn't base my
    decision to date solely on looks.. Something about their personality is what had to
    get my attention. I never 'looked' for attractive men- just enjoyed being near fun, nice guys that
    made me laugh.
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 999 Member
    A good personality goes a long way!!! I have fallen for guys (that I wasn't attracted to immediately) just because of their personalities...but it took time to develop. So if some random guy just hit on me and there wasn't a physical attraction I'm not sure how I would respond, he'd have to make a heck of an impression for me to take/give a number.
  • LilyGrey
    LilyGrey Posts: 18
    If an average Joe tries to get with me, I'll turn him down straight away.

    If an average Jane tries to get with me, I'll get to know her and go from there.

    FYI, not every lady is attracted to men...
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    Yes :love: I like having the guy in charge .
  • eleslie1989
    eleslie1989 Posts: 57 Member
    why is this question only to "chicks with a nice body"?

    contradiction much?
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    If what comes out of his mouth sounds like he spent all his school years learning English from watching MTV, then I'd have to walk away. Looks are a bonus and a temporary one at that if we're looking at the long term, but if he acts ignorant or just stupid in general he could be the hottest piece of booty on this earth, I wouldn't tap that with a telephone pole. Intelligence is sexy.
  • TKHappy
    TKHappy Posts: 659 Member
    I was set up with my now husband and our first interaction was over the phone, he had me laughing for hours. When we actually met a few days later he looked nothing like what I expected and not my "type" but his personality shined so much I found those things I normally wouldn't have attractive...don't get me wrong his is a very good looking guy! I was also not his "type", he said my confidence and drive snagged him LOL.

    I have always believed that everyone deserves a chance...I have dated people who I'm not kidding became more attractive once I got to know them...I also have known some gorgeous people who are ugly to me because of their personalities. I also think that if someone does not want to give you a chance because of looks they are probably not the person you want anyway!!

    Looks may be the first thing we notice on a person but that is not what defines them! :)
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    I don't have a nice body, I need to gain some weight first but this has only really happened to me in clubs. I think boys do it in clubs though because they think they're going to 'get some,' so I don't know. But if a guy asked me out, despite his appearance, I would say yes. Talking to someone is how you get to know them and their personality. I would never say no to someone based on their appearance I think it's vain.
    My last ex has treacher collins sydrome and his face is disfigured, I didn't know this when I agreed to met him(we met on facebook lol), and I'm not going to lie I was taken a back just because I didn't really understand it, but we had an almost two year relationship. His looks never came into the equation, it wasn't the reason I broke up with him, I was with him regardless of his appearance. So yeah if someone asked me out, I would never say no based on their looks.
  • pinkhu13
    pinkhu13 Posts: 133
    Based on looks alone, I typically go for a guy who is "on the same level" as me. Like I have an ok body so I'm not going to expect my boyfriend or whatever to be ripped. Also, I think I'm like average looking so I'm also not expecting the hottest dude in the room to talk to me. But personality and confidence (and being tall lol) are definately important factors as well.
  • mocha1975
    mocha1975 Posts: 44
    Looks...yes. But even more so, personality and compatibility.

    When you find the one my dear, you will know.

    Couldn't said it better myself =)

    Totally agree!! :)
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