Blonde Jokes

Why did the blond stare at the frozen orange juice?

because it said "concentrate"

A brunette, a red head and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender is new on the job and gets approached by the brunette.

"May I have a WW?" said the brunette.

Bartender replies, "I'm new here and haven't got down all the acronyms yet. What's a WW?"

"White wine" said the brunette.

Then the redhead approaches the bartender.

"RW please." said the redhead

"Red wine?" replied the bartender. Redhead nods.

Then the blonde approaches. "15 baby!"

Bartender with confused look on face says " Sorry have no idea what a 15 is."

Blonde replies "Silly that's a 7 and 7!"



A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks to see a loan officer.

She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out.

The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction as worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to still be there when I return?"

4 years ago

A blonde, a brunette and a ginger are trapped on an island. They decide to each try to swim back to main land. The brunette starts swimming, makes it a quarter of the way, realizes she can't do it, and swims back. The ginger starts swimming, only makes it out a little bit when the height of the waves starts to freak her out, she she turns back as well. The blonde decides to give it a try. She swims out half way, decides that she's tired, turns around, and swims back to the island.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.