Anyone Here Mentally Ill?

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  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
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    I have pretty severe Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

    And I don't mean the type were people say "OMG< I am SO OCD about that!" (this gets on my nerves a bit at times, bc if most people knew how difficult it can be to live with OCD, they would not use that term.

    I mean actually clinical OCD.....

    It started as a teenager, and I managed myself fine, until about 2005 when I had a complete nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized. At that point, the DR tried a couple of different medications, each of them made it worse and one actually made me delusional. I now, because of this, choose not to medicate with pills.

    One of the things that bothers me most about OCD is that when I am not being confronted by a phobia (people with OCD have TONS of phobias in general), I understand and recognize my obsessions and compulsions are irrational, but when confronted with them, I seem to have no choice but to follow along.

    At this time, I am coping alright, I see my DR every two weeks or so, and keep on top of everything I need to. The OCD is always there, but like most sufferers, I am good at hiding it when I need to, and just do what I need to to get through the day.....

    THANK YOU FOR THIS.

    I also have OCD. And I cannot STAND it when people say things like "I'm a little OCD. I need to clean that counter" or some similar line of bull****. If people understood what real OCD feels like, they wouldn't joke. I've gotten into fights with people before, even here on the forums, for calling people on this. They tell me "lighten up, it's just a joke". I always respond "I will NOT lighten up. There's nothing to lighten up about. It's pretty damn serious.

    My OCD I think has been present since I was 8, that's the earliest I can recall having intrusive thoughts or doing bizarre rituals. My themes have changed over the years. I've been in therapy twice and taken medication the majority of my adult life (I'm 32 now). I've never been hospitalized, but when I had a breakdown around age 25, I felt pretty suicidal and was contemplating going to the hospital. The reason I didn't? I work there as a social worker and do the psych screens. I've been working int he mental health field for 11 years now. It's quite frustrating to see how little is known or taught about OCD in the actual profession. I didn't know OCD wasn't only checking stoves or cleaning things, and I have my masters degree! It's no wonder there is so little awareness out there.

    And BTW, I hate Monk.
  • vestarocks
    vestarocks Posts: 449 Member
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    I don't mean to be condescending, only saying it with genuineness. Can I just applaud you all? I have a family member with severe bipolar. Exercise and health are the furthest things from her mind, despite all of her meds and dr. visits. I see her struggle just to get through every day. It's been exhausting to watch for my entire life so I can only imagine how exhausting it is to live it.

    So for all of you adding healthy food and exercise to your already full plate I applaud you.
  • PercivalHackworth
    PercivalHackworth Posts: 1,437 Member
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    Yes! a broken robot since I'm born ahah
    Bipolar (never been diagnosed such but I've all the symptoms unfortunately)
  • alabughosh
    alabughosh Posts: 132 Member
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    Here is my experience with Bi-Polar Disorder:

    In the summer of 2007, I had a manic episode that put me in the hospital for 1 month. During the month that I was in the hospital, they thought I was schizophrenic...but as I got better, they changed the diagnosis to schizoaffective...and finally, once I got even better they changed it to bi-polar. When I came out of the hospital I was on all kinds of meds that made me feel like a zombie and gain weight. I was taking huge doses of depakote, cogentin (to battle the stiffness of the other meds), geodon, risperdal....trust me, it was bad.

    I could write pages about my experience and the things that I think happened the right way to put me in a place where I was able to recover. But these are the things that make me angry about the way we view "mental disorders".

    1. People try to define you with them & people try to define themselves by them - YOU are not "bi-polar"....you just have bi-polar tendencies. You can't sum up a persons entire complex mental and chemical process with a freaking two word phrase and then suddenly everything makes sense.
    2. Medications - I personally had an AMAZING psychiatrist, who supported me in my efforts to get off my medications as soon as I got out of the hospital. I am currently only on Clonopin as needed to help me get to sleep (because things are bad when I don't/can't sleep). I just feel like MOST people I talked to were scared and also tried to make me scared about the idea of me not being on meds. The implication in that is that I was not a complete person without medications to make me "normal".
    3. Family and Friends- When I'm upset, crying about something, when I'm SUPER confidant bordering on narcissistic......don't you DARE ask me if I "went off my medication". My feelings are legitimate and real, just like everyone else's and if you are too LAZY or uninterested to help me deal with my problems then get out of my life.


    For me, bi-polar is a non-issue. I rarely ever even think about the word anymore. If someone was to ask me if I was emotional, I would say yes. Am I possessed by life? Yes. Can life sometimes feel overpowering and overwhelming sometimes? Absolutely. Do I wish my life experience could be less intense? Never! In fact, the idea is frightening to me.
  • eatherhey
    eatherhey Posts: 147 Member
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    And BTW, I hate Monk.

    This. I hate most TV depictions of mental illness. There was an episode of House that made OCD sound like a terminal illness. :/ I raged. I think most people feel this way about subjects they are intimately familiar with. My dad can't watch any shows about firefighters because it pisses him off how far off base they get.
  • Axels91
    Axels91 Posts: 213
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    Yes! a broken robot since I'm born ahah
    Bipolar (never been diagnosed such but I've all the symptoms unfortunately)

    i'd wait for a formal diagnosis before telling anyone that. just to be on the safe side.
  • Abrowe313
    Abrowe313 Posts: 189 Member
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    i have had extreme anxiety and depression since i was 13 ive been on meds since 94 and recently was given the green light to stop taking my meds all together. alot of these drugs are designed to calm or sedate somewhat so of coarse you gain weight and have no energy to do much of anything. my first question would be how is your diet, there are proven studies that show that your mood is better when you eat healthy, exercise increases serotonin and makes you feel better. it may be scary and very hard at first as it was for me. but if you really want your life back you have to fight your mind and make yourself commit to this. i still get anxiety in times of stress, i still get down from time to time but i am no longer letting myself be a slave to what a dr told me is "wrong" with me. i lost so much time being afraid of things and depressed, but i will never go back to living that way. its a struggle but through exercise/healthy eating/ and relaxation techniques (yoga or breathing exercises) you can become less dependent on those little pills that steel your life! i wish you the best of luck, you can do anything!
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Yes! a broken robot since I'm born ahah
    Bipolar (never been diagnosed such but I've all the symptoms unfortunately)

    i'd wait for a formal diagnosis before telling anyone that. just to be on the safe side.

    Diagnoses mean very little sometimes... functionality is what's at stake. Labels are essentially nothing.
  • PercivalHackworth
    PercivalHackworth Posts: 1,437 Member
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    I can't bear the medical names - in the end looks like we are a ****load of stuff but *normal*
    A friend call such "being disbalanced" I think he's right, it's just a mental impairment. I refused to be on medications - sometimes even worse imho. But eh, i won the race as a spermatozoid, so I just..take it for granted
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
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    I have GAD, PTSD, ADD and cyclic depression. I've also battled agoraphobia, didn't leave the house for 3 months but that was associated with my first major depression. The anxiety is a ***** to live with but the depression is worse for me. I took Wellbutrin and it made my anxiety worse. Zoloft helped tremendously, escpecially after the birth of my 2 children. That was a frightening time. I've had minor depressive episodes in the last 4 years but nothing that led to the suicidal thinking. I'm always afraid of it though and I wonder if I'll always be scared. The anxiety is a constant but I learned behavior modification to fight that so it doesn't get to make choices for me anymore. The ADD, it's a joke that isn't funny but I laugh it off anyway. I'm like a moth on crack...bing bing bing all over the place, 10 half started projects and I don't retain anything. I figure it's the one out of everything I have that saves me. If I was able to actually maintain a thought and remember everything that goes on in a day I'd flip out. Thank you so much for starting this thread, if you don't have it, you don't get it and it's nice to see people who understand.
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    I have severe depression an anxiety. A lot going on in my life, and a pretty ****ty job. I think I am half crazy but the prozac helps! It is actually helping me lose weight so I am kind of glad I got on it.
  • graelwyn
    graelwyn Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Clinical depression, OCD, PTSD, Eating disorders, anxiety disorder are my psych issues.
    Also have mild Aspergers, but that is considered neurological rather than a mental illness, but it doesn't help any.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    I have ADHD, Anxiety, and Hydrocephalus. I did have depression in 2006 and my dad gave me a baby goat who was just born that we named Lucy. I never left her side and I carried her around like she was my child. She had 3 pregnancies (2 were miscarriages) and she was the greatest mother to Leah. Lucy developed tetanus in July 2010 when she was 4 years old and it was too late when my dad caught it and she passed away July 1, 2010 leaving 5 month old Leah without a mother. Lucy's mate, Aslan wasn't the same after that and he looked over Leah the best he knew how while he grieved. My life haven't been the same without Lucy.
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
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    I have Post traumatic stress disorder, major depressive syndrom(whatever it's called)
    Diagnosed by my psychiatrist &counselor, I also have a mild form of body dimorphic disorder
    ...
  • Axels91
    Axels91 Posts: 213
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    Yes! a broken robot since I'm born ahah
    Bipolar (never been diagnosed such but I've all the symptoms unfortunately)

    i'd wait for a formal diagnosis before telling anyone that. just to be on the safe side.

    Diagnoses mean very little sometimes... functionality is what's at stake. Labels are essentially nothing.

    i agree, but you need to know what you are treating. bipolar disorder is just a description of a group of symptoms. which is why so many people with organic causes (thyroid conditions) get misdiagnosed with it. if you give someone with a thyroid condition mood stabilizers, it could be detrimental.
  • tarasalazar416
    tarasalazar416 Posts: 13
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    Hi there I do have mental issues. I have very bad anxiety, and everytime im outside i feel that people are staring at me, laughing at how big i am. I have fear of walking around outside. I hate big stores because there is so many people. .My doctor has me on meds but i dont think they help very well. I wont go get a membership anywhere because of all the people. My anxiety is getting worse that there are times i want to walk out of work and just stay in my house, but cant afford to do that, so I suffer through it, and plus I have great friends at work that help me out. So I understand what you are talking about. :flowerforyou:
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
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    I have Post traumatic stress disorder, major depressive syndrom(whatever it's called)
    Diagnosed by my psychiatrist &counselor, I also have a mild form of body dysmorphic disorder
    ...Oh and anxiety issues
  • LilRedPitViper
    LilRedPitViper Posts: 104
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    Clinical depression, OCD, PTSD, Eating disorders, anxiety disorder are my psych issues.
    Also have mild Aspergers, but that is considered neurological rather than a mental illness, but it doesn't help any.

    My husband is an Aspie, too. It may not be a mental illness, per se, but it can be just as debilitating. Between my issues and his Aspergers, we make quite the pair.
  • Lib_B
    Lib_B Posts: 446 Member
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    depression and panic disorder. and yes, it definitely has effects unless i'm well medicated. the panic makes me not hungry. the depression, which is the dominant disorder, leads to overeating. it's awful. i've been in binge and purge cycles most of my life. unintended consequences as opposed to an eating disorder. i still have a really effed up relationship with food and i'm trying to fix it now...
  • SomeMorr
    SomeMorr Posts: 220 Member
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    Part of me wishes my fiance knew me when I was really suffering 3 years ago. Its hard for him to understand me most of the time - with PTSD I have flashbacks, get scared for no reason, or freak out. Every year around my trauma I call out of work and stay in bed and can't face the world. He doesn't understand how one day I can go out and another day I can't do anything but sleep.

    I told him this year "It doesn't make sense. Today, it doesn't have to make sense. It never makes any sense and it probably never will again."

    There is just something that clicks in my head that makes me feel like theres a weight in my chest and my skin is on fire. I'm happy he tries but he's always trying to "fix it". I don't need him to fix it, I just need him to be quiet and try to understand it.

    That is so hard. Watching someone hurt so badly and not knowing how to help or what to do- or not being able to be content with "just wait" is pure torture. I hope he finds a way to understand. <3

    My husband suffers from this from his time in the military. It is so hard, wanting to help, knowing I cannot change the things he thinks about constantly. He gets upset because he thinks I "expect things to change overnight"... I don't expect him to ever "just get over it" but I just want him to seek the necessary help.

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