How do you handle hurtful comments????

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TheReese1206
TheReese1206 Posts: 238
in Chit-Chat
I've gone from a size 15 to a size 11. I am still working on it. I was 180lbs and am now 157lbs. I have 2 family members who say very hurtful things. One makes pig noises if I touch something not super healthy. I strive to eat great but there are OCCASIONS where I may have a can of soda or a SMALL piece of cake. He says it will make me fat or if I miss a day at the gym makes me feel like a failure. He makes me feel gross and like I'm a huge cow. My Gma just said to me yesterday "I don't understand how you're still so big after chasing your kids all day". Also she brought me a pair of pants several sizes larger then what I wear since she can see that I've put on weight. This all is like a huge stab at me and my hard work. How do you handle things like this? How do you not let it affect you?
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Replies

  • StatutoryGrape
    StatutoryGrape Posts: 365
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    I usually shrug and say some variation of "Meh...whatever." It used to really bother me, but I'm pretty desensitized to that crap now. My advice is to give yourself five minutes to feel bad, then use "thought stopping" if the hurtful comments try to pop back up and get you down.
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
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    Knee to the groin...or sweep their feet from under them.

    This works in most cases and often bears no need for repeating if done well the first time.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    Tell him you can always work to be smaller but there's nothing he can do about his small manhood size.
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    I'd always make fun of them back....I'm not gonna tell you to take the high road and ignore them, fight them back with your own words...and be hurtful back....an exception for the grammy though, I wouldn't do that =)
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    Ahh, family the other "F" word.

    Honestly? I'd limit my time with them, they sound toxic. I'd maybe say something like "I'm really proud that I've taken control of my health and had so much success with it. Is there something bothering you? I just ask because you really do like to put me down, and that's concerning to me."

    You have to put your foot down with people like that. You can't please all the people all of the time, nor should you. There is always going to be someone to tell you what not to do. You do for you, no one else.

    Congratulations! :flowerforyou:
  • TheReese1206
    TheReese1206 Posts: 238
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    I don't want to be hateful or rude back. That's not me. I don't want to hurt them in return. I'm just not sure how to approach it.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    They're counting on you not commenting, that's why they do it.

    My suggestion isn't rude, lets them know you're proud and confident (even if you don't feel it), and that their comments are bothering you. If they continue, I would lessen the time spent with them.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    They don`t like or are jealous that you are taking control of your life...just enjoy the fact that they know it and can`t deal with it.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    Q_Q

    or

    TT_TT

    but seriously i don't care
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
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    Knee to the groin...or sweep their feet from under them.

    There is no mercy in this dojo!
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
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    I used them as motivation...
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    I don't have any good advice, but I had to comment on the fact that the male family member sounds like a real @**hole!

    Grandparents, I can dismiss, because they usually don't realize they are saying something mean (my M-I-L does stuff like that)
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    I don't have any good advice, but I had to comment on the fact that the male family member sounds like a real @**hole!

    Grandparents, I can dismiss, because they usually don't realize they are saying something mean (my M-I-L does stuff like that)

    this

    however in my family you talk caca you get it right back.
  • Karrix
    Karrix Posts: 288
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    Id tell them off. I've spent years being a doormat to people, I'm not the same person anymore. If you stand up for yourself, they may back down. They aren't perfect, I'm sure they've got flaws too.

    You've come a long way and look fabulous, don't let these toxic family members get you down. :flowerforyou:
  • fitforlife34
    fitforlife34 Posts: 331 Member
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    I know. I have had family members who slam me too. Be like, "you wont' lose weight if you eat that." Or, "you are pretty but need to lose 40lbs." A lot of times, those peple are just really unhappy with themselves. People project on others what they feel inside. I dn't know if it's right in your situation, but just from my opinion.
  • BlDancy
    BlDancy Posts: 6 Member
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    I honestly would handle hurtful comments by avoiding the people making them. Sorry you have to go through that but that's great about your weight lost. I'm having a hard time loosing and I have people make mean comments but I am doing this for myself not them and I just avoid them. I am a person who gets deeply offended by comments like that that's why I try to avoid people like that. Hope they learn to stop being so hurtful
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I don't think I've ever found a comment to be hurtful.
  • mills101
    mills101 Posts: 58
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    You have to use them as motivation. And realize that typically the people are jealous or in pain in some way in their own lives.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    poke 'em in the gut with your index finger and make the Pillsbury Doughboy giggle. Keep it movin'. No one makes hurtful comments to me because I think they're afraid of the verbal a**whipping I might unleash on them. That, and there aren't many people in the world who could hurt me.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I'm heartless, I guess. I don't care how much DNA we share. If you say something that nasty, I don't need you in my life. That's it.

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