How do you handle hurtful comments????

This is why we get to pick our friends.

Seriously, I cut off most of my "family" year ago due to abuse. I will not tolerate it any longer. I don't care who dishes it out, I am worth more than that, and I've let them know it. I'm not their doormat.

Exactly! I'm not talking to my grandma right now. I told her I was eating healthy and refused to take the rest of a cake home and she came back with, "How much weight do you plan to put on this time? You know you're never going to be thin? You're just wasting all our time with this, just go have the surgery and be done, and if you die then you won't have to suffer anymore and don't have to worry about you."

Anyway, besides not talking to them, I just try let it all roll off. People are going to be rude, and family is by far the worst offenders. I'm the nice one so I don't dish it back, but I've been known to say things to myself. When I'm working out by myself or with my husband we say totally naughty things about our family. It helps keep me motivated when my legs burn and I don't think I finish the last 5 minutes of my work out.

Just tell them (especially this HE you refer to) you won't stand for it and tell them how it makes you feel!!!! This is important. And if they don't respect that you won't stand for it, and continue, you have the right to spend less time around them. Actually you always have that option. But first, call them out on it. I agree with a previous comment. They say hurtful things thinking they can get away with it. This doesn't make them bad people, its just human nature sometimes... Make sure you stick up for yourself and your needs. And right now you need SUPPORT.

"if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" Maybe they need a reminder.

I've gone from a size 15 to a size 11. I am still working on it. I was 180lbs and am now 157lbs. I have 2 family members who say very hurtful things. One makes pig noises if I touch something not super healthy. I strive to eat great but there are OCCASIONS where I may have a can of soda or a SMALL piece of cake. He says it will make me fat or if I miss a day at the gym makes me feel like a failure. He makes me feel gross and like I'm a huge cow. My Gma just said to me yesterday "I don't understand how you're still so big after chasing your kids all day". Also she brought me a pair of pants several sizes larger then what I wear since she can see that I've put on weight. This all is like a huge stab at me and my hard work. How do you handle things like this? How do you not let it affect you?

I love you and I am sorry that we can not spend time together until you treat me with respect .

Look them in the eye, shrug and enjoy the soda or piece of cake. Family always know what buttons to push so I've learned to ignore the negative family members and realize they are just jealous.

Maybe start having a little fun with them, if you can. Tell them you are involved in a dieting cult and we said you can eat whatever you like and still lose weight, and it's working. Tell them how much weight you've lost eating ANYTHING you like!

I want to say congratulations on your down sizing of clothes! That is a huge accomplishment! I am sorry to hear that people say such rude stuff. I think once you stick to your goals and get even leaner, they will eventually get old and weary of their comments and give it up. Don't forget muscle weighs more than fat.

Hang in there! You got our support! :flowerforyou:

When I first started talking about lifting weights and getting muscle my husband would tell me I was going to look like a lesbian (in a derogatory manner) and that it wasn't attractive. I told him that I didn't care what he thought, that I wasn't doing this for him. Its for me. He hasn't spoken of my looking like a lesbian yet, so yeah..

Just ignore them, or tell them that they are being rude and you don't appreciate it.

I don't know how to put on pictures. But I printed this out for myself

http://www.friendship-quotes.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/thing.25686972.l.jpg

I know it's and old expression but let it run off you like water off a ducks back. If you can't use it a motivation to show them just what you can do. If it really get to you to the point you are about to :explode: while you are calm explain to them how their hurtful words while they may seem a joke to them really effect you. And you would more then appreciate that they stop and don't say them anymore.

Be proud of what you have done.

Knee to the groin...or sweep their feet from under them.

This works in most cases and often bears no need for repeating if done well the first time.

What he said.

I've gone from a size 15 to a size 11. I am still working on it. I was 180lbs and am now 157lbs. I have 2 family members who say very hurtful things. One makes pig noises if I touch something not super healthy. I strive to eat great but there are OCCASIONS where I may have a can of soda or a SMALL piece of cake. He says it will make me fat or if I miss a day at the gym makes me feel like a failure. He makes me feel gross and like I'm a huge cow. My Gma just said to me yesterday "I don't understand how you're still so big after chasing your kids all day". Also she brought me a pair of pants several sizes larger then what I wear since she can see that I've put on weight. This all is like a huge stab at me and my hard work. How do you handle things like this? How do you not let it affect you?

You seriously need to tell these people to F@@k off!!! Tell them to get out of your life if they are not going to get on board and be positive about your efforts. Bully's don't like being bullied. So let 'em have it!!