Food Diary Snooping... OR Why is your diary CLOSED?!

I've noticed a lot of weird combinations in people's diaries: foods I never would have thought of putting together.

Apple Sauce and Pickles for lunch?

Scrambled eggs and Peanut butter for breakfast? (though that's probably very filling...)

I guess I never pay much attention. Mine is closed because I KNOW I eat weird foods or too much of one thing or the other and me seeing it and logging it for myself is as much scrutiny as I can handle haha.

I've noticed a lot of weird combinations in people's diaries: foods I never would have thought of putting together.

Apple Sauce and Pickles for lunch?

Scrambled eggs and Peanut butter for breakfast? (though that's probably very filling...)

Sometimes my weird combinations are the result of Lunch A and Lunch B that I haven't bothered to separate into different meals.

Mines is open to friends. I honestly could care less who looks at my diary. People can critique it all day but at the end of the day they aren't my nutritionist and they can voice their opinion all they want but it won't hold water.

My diary is closed cuz I would find myself not wanting to put down the kit kat bar I had for lunch or the fast food I had for dinner. I wouldn't even be going over my stuff, just embarrassed about what I was eating. Not that anyone ever judged me on it but I am always paranoid.

My diary is closed now, and it's closed because I don't want to trigger my friends, because I'm recovering from disordered eating and have a number of recovering friends as well. I also am subject to change my mind about my intake frequently and I don't like the judgement or being scared of judgement. Having friends who support me and forums to look through is enough for me I wish it could be open again but it was starting to make me feel anxious.

Scrambled eggs and Peanut butter for breakfast? (though that's probably very filling...)

i used to eat this combination on toast when i was younger. my parents would always cringe. i just remember it being tasty!

things like that are why i keep my food diary closed. also because i usually eat a lot more than people would be comfortable seeing..;. even though i've been losing inches in the process.

I wanted to answer the second question, since I'm one of those people with a closed diary.

I started tracking my food because I knew I wasn't eating right. I've never been overweight, but I've had my 5-10lb ups and downs throughout my life. After several years in rough jobs, eating whatever I could, when I could, I had developed a lot of bad habits. Even marrying a health nut four years ago didn't change things much.

So when I started taking martial arts classes in December, and realized that I could easily be on my way to a much healthier lifestyle, I started keeping track of what I ate. I knew it would be bad. What I wasn't prepared for was how ashamed I was, looking at what I really ate.

It's very easy to eat something "bad" one day, then say "oh well, I'll do better tomorrow", but fall into a cycle of doing it over and over. It starts as fast food maybe once a week. But it's cheap and convenient, so you start going more often. On top of that, pretty soon the freezer is also full of heat-and-eat food. After a while, cooking actual meals happens only once or twice a week.

I saw how many calories I was eating in a day, and how much sodium I was taking in, and I was floored. How have I not gained weight? How am I as healthy (albeit out of shape) as I am? It scared me. It scared me because I realized that I'm probably much closer to heart disease than I thought I was. And it scared me because I didn't know if I could really change.

It's been a little over a month since I started tracking. In fact, today is my 35th consecutive day of logging into MFP. Things have gotten better, but I still eat things I definitely shouldn't. And I still feel like I have more bad days than good.

As for keeping my diary closed...It's like going to the gym for the first time, but all you do is wander around and look at the machines. Maybe test a few reps here and there, pick up the dumbbells, but put them back down again. Everyone else there looks so fit, or if they aren't, they at least look like they know what they're doing. There's a fear of looking stupid; of being expected to know what you are doing, otherwise why would you be there? Irrational, yes. But it's a very real hangup for many, many people. Including myself.

I also have that hangup here. That fear of having a diary full of bad days in an online community full of people who know what the heck they're doing, and eat right, and are proud of tracking it and showing it. Despite knowing it's irrational, I'm still afraid of being judged for still being so off-track.

I also have that hangup here. That fear of having a diary full of bad days in an online community full of people who know what the heck they're doing, and eat right, and are proud of tracking it and showing it. Despite knowing it's irrational, I'm still afraid of being judged for still being so off-track.

And oddly, that's one reason I leave mine open. I'm not 100% on-track. I'm moving gradually towards a better-for-me diet. I found it reassuring to read other people's open diaries and realize that not everyone here was perfect either.

I should probably browse around and read some other diaries. Maybe it'll help me come to the same realization.