Scared to get pregnant?!

13

Replies

  • j_courter
    j_courter Posts: 999 Member
    yes, i agree. eat healthy, exercise faithfully, and you'll be okay. i have given birth to not one, but five babies!!! the main difference it has made in my body shape is larger hips... and i think hips are sexy, no? i believe breastfeeding also helped me lose the baby weight more quickly and don't even get me started on how much running around you'll be doing when that little munchkin starts walking around!!! ;-)

    best wishes on your future family.

    ps). i exercised faithfully before the birth of my first child and my labor and delivery went incredibly fast! i believe it was because my body was already strong and prepared for the work. you can do it too!!!!
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
    Continue to eat healthy and do moderate excercise during your pregnancy then you can pick up right where you left off after the baby comes! My little guy is 3 and a half months and I absolutely ADORE him. I gained almost 60 lbs and have 5 left to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. No that weight isn't going to look the same as it did before, but it really is 100% worth it!

    ...../ )
    .....' /
    ---' (_____
    ......... ((__)
    ..... _ ((___)
    ....... -'((__)
    --.___((_)

    THIS.................................a million fold!
  • lexximan
    lexximan Posts: 322 Member
    Omg. It's your child stop being so superficial. God save America

    That's a really unfair thing to say, and also a bit thoughtless.

    I'm scared to get pregnant at my current weight because it could kill me. When I lose the weight, I imagine that I'd be scared to get pregnant to undo all the hard work I've done to get healthy.

    It's not always about the way you look.

    Thank you very much for saying that. I wish more people thought about the effects on your body prior to becoming pregnant. It can negatively effect baby and mama. Medically not just body image.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
    Oh thank god, it's not just me....

    I'm only 22 and not married but have been with my boyfriend for 4 years so "our future" does come up some times.

    When I brought up the possibility of not wanting to have children, he got pretty upset.... he didn't say it would be a deal breaker (later on), but he did stay he'd stay with me hoping I'd change my mind. And he does think my reasons are selfish...

    I'm not even at my goal weight there, but I'm so terrified that by the time I get there, I won't even get to enjoy it for long before my body gets ruined by pregnancy...

    Thank you for posting this... It is a huge relief to see that I'm not the only one.
  • lexximan
    lexximan Posts: 322 Member
    And if you are honestly not wanting a child because it might mess up your body maybe you aren't ready for a kid. It takes alot of selfless giving... In no way am I being mean or judgemental. Just something to think about.

    I have never said that I wouldnt want one because of it. Obviously I am not the only one that feels that way.
    I actually even posted that it would never stop me.
  • Front_Runner
    Front_Runner Posts: 175
    Yes! I was totally ready set to get knocked up about 4 years ago... but my husband was freaked out. I went to R.N. school, and graduated in the mean time. After nursing school, I was mortified to get preggers. #1 - I saw all the bad crap that can happen to baby & mommy. #2 - I witnessed Labor #3 - I learned the physical changes the body goes through. #4 - during school, I packed on 15lbs or so... and was already unhappy with my body. #5 - My mom was a tiny petite little thing (5'1" 110lbs before babies... and put on a lot of weight during/after babies) and I'm afraid of that, too. NOW my husband wants kids... and I want to adopt - but he won't unless we have a "biological" kid 1st. It's rediculous. My HUGEST regret in life is going to R.N. school. Ugh!!
  • downinaggieland98
    downinaggieland98 Posts: 224 Member
    I was a little scared. I gained more than I wanted to while I was pregnant but I honestly didn't care one little bit. I ate healthy, exercised when I could (I went on bed rest) and when I had her, the pounds slowly came off. I went back to the gym and I am now in better shape and weigh less than I was before I got pregnant.

    Your priorities will change once you have a baby. There's nothing better!
  • Happymom12
    Happymom12 Posts: 114 Member
    I left the hospital after having my son who only weighed 6lbs less than I weighed before getting pregnant. My extra weight came years later. I weighed around 125-130 prior to being pregnant (women always fluxuate), weighed 142 when I went to hospital to have him, left hospital after having him weighing 119 and within a couple weeks was down to 112 not trying got to skinny. I gained a normal amount of weight and was happy for a couple years then I got a desk job and got up to 150 just recently and am back down to 138 right now.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    just keep eating healthy....that whole eating for two thing is BS (ur eating for urself and a bean sized belly'lol)....so many ppl use pregnancy as an excuse to totally binge out, i did....BIG MISTAKE! usually if ur craving something when ur preggers, its because ur body is lacking a certain nutrient of some kind. i craved boiled eggs like crazy during my 4th and 5th months with my 2nd pregnancy. you dont need to stop working out either, do what ur body allows you to do through out. if ur already someone who is living a healthy lifestyle and u plan on continuing that, youre gonna be fine. everyone puts on a few lbs, nbd! and remeber if it took 9months to gain it, dont expect it to all go away in a week after birth!!!!!! OOOOh and BREAST FEEEEEEEEEEEEED! dont give up, keep trying, u can do it! smart mamas breast feed :) its good for you, best for baby!
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 510 Member
    I LOVED being pregnant (could be why I have 4 kids)! I felt beautiful, confident and kind of like superwoman. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life, delivering my children being the BEST part. It did seem like everytime I'd start getting more fit, I'd end up pregnant but its worth every sick day, swollen ankle, strech marks, etc. :heart: Sorry, didn't mean to get sappy!

    I will say that (at least for me) it got harder to lose the weight after each one. But again, totally worth it! :smile:
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 349 Member
    One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight was specifically so that I would be in a healthier place before pursuing a third pregnancy. I plan to continue tracking during my next pregnancy to help myself work toward a healthy and not excessive weight gain and also to help encourage myself to make healthier choices than I did in my first two pregnancies. I think it's totally normal to be nervous about the weight gain and body changes, some things may not ever be quite the same after a pregnancy (although some ladies bounce back quickly and wonderfully!) - you just have to go into it with eyes wide open and be prepared.

    *this*

    I'm also losing weight before I start trying for my second baby. I was overweight before I had my son and didn't actually put on a lot while pregnant my problem was I kept eating like I was breastfeeding even after I'd stopped. The weight piled on.

    My only fear is I need to lose 80lbs to get into healthy bmi but as I plan to get pregnant in Oct this year I won't make it but I'm hoping all the great stuff I'm learning now will help me to only gain healthy baby weight and lose it again afterwards and eventually make my goal.

    I've recently taken up swimming as its an exercise I can continue when I'm pregnant too.
  • qtiekiki
    qtiekiki Posts: 1,490 Member
    You can lose the weight afterward, but your body will be different. I weigh the same now as I did pre-pregnancy, but I have stretch marks and loose skin on my belly. I am actually in better shape and have more muscle definition now than before my pregnancies. So it's not the end of the world.

    ETA: It did take longer to lose the weight after the 2nd pregnancy. It's best to eat sensibly and walk during pregnancy to ensure that you are gaining the necessary weight.
  • sallywilson06
    sallywilson06 Posts: 269 Member
    I am in the same boat as you... I am not in the healthy BMI right now and would be afraid to gain a lot more weight. My sister was about my weight when she got pregnant with her daughter and now is over 250lbs. He stomach looks like a train ran across it from stretch marks and it scares the heck out of me to think if I get pregnant I could look like that.. We have the same skin type and everything and it's something I dread!!! I want to be able to wear a bikini confidently before I can't ever wear one at all... I know it sounds vein, but I have a long ways to go before even thinking about having a baby.
  • raisingbabyk
    raisingbabyk Posts: 442 Member
    I have always been heavy, so I was 185 when I got pregnant (5'4"). I got up to 215 and afterwards I easily lost weight and got down to 195 on my own not watching what I ate at all. Started MFP at the end of july 2011 and I am now down to 140. I'm so looking forward to getting pregnant again in the future. Part of me is scared of gaining weight, but I know that this time I will be going into it much healthier, know how to eat right during pregnancy, and know that I have the tools and knowledge to lose it again after. When you see your adorable baby and fall in love, you wont care about the weight you gained.:love:


    Have to add that I am scared of getting stretch marks and having a bad mommy tummy. Right now I got one stretch mark and my tummy isn't that bad compared to others i've seen :ohwell:
  • nakabi
    nakabi Posts: 589 Member
    I have a 2.5 year old, a 1 year old, and am pregnant with my 3rd. I made sure to lose all the pregnancy weight before getting pregnant each time. If you eat right and exercise, there is no reason you should be afraid that you won't lose the weight. Granted, you probably won't have the tight abs that you had before (at least I didn't), but the baby you have is DEFINITELY worth it!!!

    Make sure to watch what you eat when pregnant (you really do not need to eat for two), watch your portions, and exercise (as long as it's okay with your doctor.) You CAN lose the weight!
  • loves86
    loves86 Posts: 88 Member
    I almost got to my goal, then got pregnant, if you are able to workout during your pregnancy DO IT!!! I wasn't able to because it was a high risk pregnancy, so I gained more than I wanted, and was back to my heaviest weight, but I can tell you after working my butt off ever since I got back to work, 3 months later im down 20 lbs!
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    you are so not selfish at all!!!!!! when we started to talk Abbot having a baby i waited for years till i was ready. all my friends had their family by age 26, i wasn't ready. I wanted to travel and be ready to accept the changes that would happen with my body. I knew that my body would never be the same after, my worst fear was the stretch marks and the weight gain. When i started to approach 30, i said, then that it was now or never, if i wasn't ready at 30, i didn't know if i would ever be. We got pregnant and had my son 1 month after my 30th b-day. I was finally ready to accept the changes that would happen to my body, and i have done well with them. 3 months after i had him i had about 6 lbs to go to my pre pregnancy weight, i hit that at about 6 months or so but my body never did look the same. the whole shape was different and i carried my weight different. I carried him very low and i got that pooch, i also had a emergency c section and they had to make the cut really large as he was stuck and lot of pulling and tearing, so i don't think my tummy will ever be flat again. no extra loose skin just a pooch. I am fine with the way i look right now even though i am not at my goal. i think as long as i keep what i lost off i will be happy.

    Thanks for posting this. All my friends are either having kids right now or have kids and I am not ready. They always tell me that I am to old to keep waiting. What you wrote explains how I feel right now.
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    you are so not selfish at all!!!!!! when we started to talk Abbot having a baby i waited for years till i was ready. all my friends had their family by age 26, i wasn't ready. I wanted to travel and be ready to accept the changes that would happen with my body. I knew that my body would never be the same after, my worst fear was the stretch marks and the weight gain. When i started to approach 30, i said, then that it was now or never, if i wasn't ready at 30, i didn't know if i would ever be. We got pregnant and had my son 1 month after my 30th b-day. I was finally ready to accept the changes that would happen to my body, and i have done well with them. 3 months after i had him i had about 6 lbs to go to my pre pregnancy weight, i hit that at about 6 months or so but my body never did look the same. the whole shape was different and i carried my weight different. I carried him very low and i got that pooch, i also had a emergency c section and they had to make the cut really large as he was stuck and lot of pulling and tearing, so i don't think my tummy will ever be flat again. no extra loose skin just a pooch. I am fine with the way i look right now even though i am not at my goal. i think as long as i keep what i lost off i will be happy.

    Thanks for posting this. All my friends are either having kids right now or have kids and I am not ready. They always tell me that I am to old to keep waiting. What you wrote explains how I feel right now.

    Your friends should realize that you can't just decide to have a baby b/c everyone else is doing it, you have to choose what is right for you and the right time. It would be incredibly immature to do it just b/c they say you should. You'd think that as parents themselves they would realize you have to be ready to take on that commitment to such a huge change in your life. You don't want to jump into it and then feel overwhelmed b/c you weren't really ready. Do what is right for you.
  • jparson714
    jparson714 Posts: 171 Member
    Great question! I'm anxious to hear from mothers. Some people have told me that if you gain a respectable amount of weight that you'll leave the hospital with only 5-7 lbs left to go...

    This can be true, but every woman is different. Most of the weight put on during pregnancy is different than just putting weight on by poor diet. Like I said i gained 60 lbs, left the hospital about 15 lbs lighter, but lost nearly 40 lbs the first 2 weeks. Apparently I was very full of fluid. If I had to guess I had maybe 10 lbs of actual fat to lose.

    I gained 45 while pregnant. I was 33 pounds into my weight loss journey when I got pregnant to begin with. I needed to lose about 15 more to get to my goal weight. When I left the hospital, I was only down about 15 too because I was full of fluid. I lost about 15 more when I got the fluid flushed out of my system.
    I'm about 4 months PP now and have 7 to lose to hit my pre-pregnancy weight. I know what my problem is though... no time to exercise and I now have an uncontrollable sweet tooth! (I'm nursing and apparently the sweet tooth is one of the side effects.) Hopefully when summer hits (I'm a teacher) I'll be able to get back into my exercise routine.
  • j77r68
    j77r68 Posts: 271 Member
    the better the shape you are in and the better you eat i.e following what you're doing on MFP any weight that you will gain will come off easier as long as you keep at it. just don't get in the habit like a lot of pregnant women do and say " it doesn't matter what i eat, i'm eating for two now anyways." your body will only give up when you give up. and there are many members on here who are new moms taking action in their weight loss. i myself have a 9 month old. i've lost the weight from her now i'm losing all the original crap that landed on my hips. lol. as much as i would like to i can't blame my daughter and my pregnancy for all the extra poundage.
    good luck in your decision and don't let a few extra pounds stop you from getting to enjoy the most awesome rewarding job around.
  • steadk
    steadk Posts: 334 Member
    I understand where you're coming from, and I wanted it to. However, it's a miracle to be able to carry and grow a life in you!!! You will be able to work off weight when baby is here. And also, nursing helps with weight. I had my first at a "not so healthy" weight. And I'm struggling to get it off now, but that's not keeping me from trying to have another.
  • RainAndPain
    RainAndPain Posts: 57
    YES. It's why I don't want children of my own... I'd rather adopt. Gaining weight from pregnancy is a huge fear of mine.
  • Teapotdomescam
    Teapotdomescam Posts: 156 Member
    That is probably THE main reason I never want kids. People say it's worth it and everything, but it really depends on how you feel about children in general. If you simply love kids no question about it then I'm sure you're gonna love the changes. Don't worry about being selfish though! you do have a right to the way you feel about your own body. I feel ya girl. Left and right, everyone I see is getting pregnant but not one of them does anything to take care of their bodies. It seems that they maintain the same eating habits (sweets, pizza, chips...etc..) and not one of them works out or seems to have any knowledge of the toll it's taking on them. A woman there is due in September but she is already atleast 30 pounds heavier.

    Alright, sorry about the rant hahah. You'll know when it's time. ;) If there will ever be a time that is.
  • Jreneewright
    Jreneewright Posts: 87
    not selfish at all! its understandable.. but even if your still "working" on you this doesnt have to stop because your prego.. the dr will tell you that what ever your body is use to before pregnancy will be fine for during your pregnancy.. i wouldnt restrict your calories sooo hard but you can still keep yourself healthy. and you can control the weight to an extent so it wont be so hard to loose it afterward.. :-) youll be fine!
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
    Actually, weight gain and changes to my body are one of the MANY reasons I NEVER EVER want children. I'm not ashamed to admit it, nope.
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
    Hi! I'm 11 weeks pregnant today. Before getting pregnant, I had lost 8 lbs, but since, I've gained it back (Status Quo I guess), but it's mostly fluid, slow digestion, bloating, etc., because somedays it goes back down a good five lbs or so.

    Yes, I was scared at first of gaining this weight. BUT seeing all those precious sonogram pictures and feeling 'different' feeling 'pregnant' has really made me not so worried about it. I know that once the baby comes, I won't even think about food. I'll be so engulfed with the baby. I'll breastfeed. This helps to lose all of the weight that's gained during pregnancy as long as you don't overdo it on food.

    I read that brest feeding alone burns 800 extra calories a day. Weight Watchers actually has a weight loss program for nursing moms.

    I know it's hard now because you are trying to lose weight, but you want to be pregnant, but in the long run, being pregnant and receiving this miracle of life is soooooo worth it!

    By the way.... everyone says "now you're eating for two" NO YOU'RE NOT.. In the first tri-mester, you are supposed to eat around 2000-2200 calories. Second trimester, increase by 300-400 calories, third trimester increase again by 300-500 calories. This keeps you and baby at a healthy weight.

    My clothes are tighter everywhere, but its such a great feeling to be pregnant!

    I wish you well!
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    No, it is normal. (at least it is for me!)
    I am 5 months now, and seeing the scale go up has been a huge mental battle. Seeing my belly grow has not been scary yet, only because I don't yet have the stretch marks that go with pregnancy. I know they will happen, 90% of women get them, and my mother, grandmother, and sister all did. It makes it a lot easier knowing my husband could care less. Stretch marks eventually fade and become less noticeable. Maybe my body will never look the same... I am slowly starting to accept that. I will put in hard work after the baby gets here, but yes, I am still scared of the changes that are happening.

    I DO know one thing though, it will all be worth it in the end, no matter how many stretch marks I get!

    Edit to say one more thing: Every single pregnancy is extremely different. I also lost weight during my first trimester as some have mentioned here (Morning sickness is evil.).. But as much as I would like to say I have continued working out, I really haven't. I am still sick 5 months in and honestly have never felt worse in my life. I TRY to go for even just walks, but the nausea is just so awful. There was a two day period where I felt great and did some intense working out, but yeah... that's about it so far. So although you should try your hardest to plan on working out when pregnant, you won't have control over how you feel. When you have good days though, take full advantage of them!!!!!!!!
  • kimi233
    kimi233 Posts: 271 Member
    It is a normal feeling to be scared, because to be brutally honest, you will NEVER have the same body that you did before babies. Yes it is possible to get back into shape and get toned once you have kids, but its not the same... but that being said, it is worth every stretch mark, every pound you will have to loose, every other thing that I won't get into detail that will happen to your body, it is way more worth it to have that precious little baby. I just had my fourth, and I went from being on here and being in the best shape of my life, to gaining the most ever with a pregnancy, and I swear I'd do it all over again. It is more difficult with this being my fourth for the weight to come off, but I will get there, if you have the will power to get back in shape after baby, you will do it. And if you have a healthy and safe pregnancy you can work out the entire time (given doctor's says its ok) And the weight will come off even faster. For me, I was very sick for the first 3 to 4 months and just gave up on exercise... but I didn't worry about it, I knew what it would take to get my body back and I'm on that right road. If you are really committed to a healthy lifestyle and not a diet, you have nothing to worry about, you'll loose that weight in no time after the baby. And with my other three babies I went home from the hospital in my per-pregnancy clothes... they didn't fit the same, but I was still in that same weight, so as long as you don't "eat for two" and go crazy, you will be fine! There's nothing else in this world that is more magical than being pregnant and having that bond with your sweet baby. Best of luck to you in your decision.
  • _ADecadeUnderTheInfluence
    _ADecadeUnderTheInfluence Posts: 17
    AGREE! so freaking scared. too selfish for children, to end my life and live mine for theirs.
  • Hopelessbird
    Hopelessbird Posts: 133
    My doctor told me if I want to get pregnant next year, lose 30-40lb now and stay close to normal BMI as possible. Try to only gain 20-25lb so that I do not develop gestational diabetes. I have a family history of Type 1 diabetes. To fight off diabetes after pregnancy, my doctor also recommend continue exercising most days of the week.

    I did buy a 2 seater car as defiance against baby expectations when I turned 30... but I love my husband. He really wants to become a father. After 12 years of togetherness, I will try to give him one child.

    The fact that a baby will cut into my personal life and free time is a bigger issue. I love my DINK lifestyle.
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