What if your husband doesn't want you to lose weight?

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CarriLu123
CarriLu123 Posts: 82 Member
in Chit-Chat
I would like to get the opinion of some of the guys here. I have been married for 15 years. When I met my husband I weighed 185 lbs (I'm 5'3 big!!!) now I am... lets just say more than that. My husband says he perfers me this weight because the sex is better. I was wondering if this is an insecurity on his part or if it as he say's.

Thoughts???
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Replies

  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 921 Member
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    Well I'm not a guy, but I am married to a man who likes me better bigger. When we met I was only 100lbs, I'm 5'3" as well. When I started to lose weight I was at 224lbs! Now I am at around 170lbs and my husband keeps begging me to stop. Not going to happen! Some men just like bigger women.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    If you want to lose weight and don't do it, you'll regret it later.

    He won't stop having sex with you, I promise.
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    Screw yo husband!
  • bkandisjj29
    bkandisjj29 Posts: 172
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    I have heard that a lot of men are afraid if their wife loses weight that she will leave him. Maybe he is just a little insecure.

    Sometimes you need to compromise, but not with your health.
  • jnbud2002
    jnbud2002 Posts: 216
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    If you want to lose weight and don't do it, you'll regret it later.

    He won't stop having sex with you, I promise.


    This is true!
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
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    That's all fine and dandy but it's not about just him it's about you too. Be the weight you want to be so YOU can feel sexy and he just needs to accept it. He vowed to love you during sickness and health etc... I think that covers fat or skinny, all that matters is that you are still you right?
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    I have heard that a lot of men are afraid if their wife loses weight that she will leave him. Maybe he is just a little insecure.

    My husband used to bring home all manner of cakes and pastries and joke that he was 'fattening me up'. But then he goes and views thinner women online? So it's confusing. I'm a little worried about his reaction when I finally lose the weight and tone up.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    If you want to lose weight and don't do it, you'll regret it later.

    He won't stop having sex with you, I promise.

    Word.

    If YOU want to lose weight, do it. Let him know that you want to be healthy and in order to be healthy, you need to lose weight. Perhaps he's worried that if you lose a bunch of weight, you'll be "out of his league" on the attractiveness scale and he's insecure about it. I've heard this MANY times from couples where one person has lost a bunch of weight or undergone some other kind of drastic physical transformation.
  • mtneerjk81
    mtneerjk81 Posts: 65 Member
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    It's your body, you should be allowed to make the decision about what to do with it. If you want to lose weight to feel better, then he should have no influence on your goal. Use it as motivation! We all know that he's done something in the past that has really annoyed or irritated you...so consider this your revenge!! :-)
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
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    My bf likes the "curves".

    BUT he knows that it makes me HIGHLY uncomfortable, so he is happy that im making myself happy. He made me promise to keep my thighs... I might be breaking a promise .. LOL
    I like my BF at 150, but he thinks he doesnt "look intimidating enough" so I am totally fine with him being more "beefy" at 180.
  • boggsmeister
    boggsmeister Posts: 292 Member
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    Screw yo husband!

    That is fantastic advice. As often as possible. :)
  • Atarahh
    Atarahh Posts: 485 Member
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    Your desire should be to make him happy. If he loves you the way you are, own that. Be healthy, but be how he likes it.

    Do you know how many women cry at night who are heavy because their husbands put them down or cheat on them or mistreat them? Be grateful it's the other way around.

    Or, see if you can meet in the middle. Instead of trying to lose 50, lose 20. He may just want something to hold onto.

    If he is happy with what you got going on, and you lose and he is not, you could be asking for trouble...
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
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    I have heard that a lot of men are afraid if their wife loses weight that she will leave him. Maybe he is just a little insecure.

    Sometimes you need to compromise, but not with your health.


    I feel like I need to tell my husband to be excited for me about losing weight - he is of course happy with a smaller me but I think he is kinda jealous that he doesn't have the time to focus on his weight as much as I do. Your journey may be making him think twice about his own body...So that may be another issue too...
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    when i started losing weight my bf(at the time) said he didnt want me to cuz he "loved my chubby tummy"
    long story short
    he got mad. left me. if hhe couldnt accept me no matter what my weight then he didnt rele love me anyways
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Screw yo husband!

    Well that's certainly one way to lose weight...

    Personally, just speak to your husband calmly and explain to him why losing weight is important to you and why you want to achieve that goal. He may have a preference for you to be on the heavier side because he finds that attractive, insecurity or whatever. However, in a loving relationship your partner will generally support you if they understand the importance of a goal.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Screw yo husband!

    I just LOL'd. I read that in a gangster Jerry Springer guest voice in my head.
  • Charlotte012
    Charlotte012 Posts: 139 Member
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    I would like to get the opinion of some of the guys here. I have been married for 15 years. When I met my husband I weighed 185 lbs (I'm 5'3 big!!!) now I am... lets just say more than that. My husband says he perfers me this weight because the sex is better. I was wondering if this is an insecurity on his part or if it as he say's.

    Thoughts???

    Well, is the sex really better because you weigh more, or because you have been together for 15 years?

    I think partners are sometimes just afraid of change. My fiance doesn't want me to lose more weight because he finds me attractive that way. Maybe he doesn't realize he'll find me attractive also at a lower weight! Once you lose the weight and feel better, your husband will be happy and proud of your accomplishment. And the sex will be even more better.
  • elysianashes
    elysianashes Posts: 100
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    I'm in the same boat. My husband says he likes me bigger (I've put on maybe 20lbs since we met I think?) and doesn't want me to lose too much weight. He also says he wants me to be happy so he'll support me, but it makes it difficult sometimes when I try to talk about what I'm trying to do to get healthier and he says, "Well, you know I don't care if you lose weight or not." I don't know if it's an insecurity thing, or if he feels bad about his own weight, or what. Frustrating!
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    Perhaps is just the case that you are doing something that doesn't revolve around him... wtf really? You love someone, you want the best for them and if losing weight is going to make you feel better about yourself then he should support you all the way.

    tell him to grow a pair and deal with the fact you are doing something for yourself... it doesn't mean you love him any less, just means that you are seeking ways to love yourself more.

    for some reason I am extremely bothered...
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 899 Member
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    Screw yo husband!

    I just LOL'd. I read that in a gangster Jerry Springer guest voice in my head.

    LOL, that's how it was meant to sound =P

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