What if your husband doesn't want you to lose weight?
Replies
-
I have heard that a lot of men are afraid if their wife loses weight that she will leave him. Maybe he is just a little insecure.
Sometimes you need to compromise, but not with your health.
I feel like I need to tell my husband to be excited for me about losing weight - he is of course happy with a smaller me but I think he is kinda jealous that he doesn't have the time to focus on his weight as much as I do. Your journey may be making him think twice about his own body...So that may be another issue too...
My Husband is in the Navy and something like 6% body fat. He looks amazing. He says together we are a 10. Bad joke but still cute!0 -
If he really doesn't want you to be healthier, I think it's a sign of a bigger problem. I love my wife however she chooses to be, and will support her even if I do not agree with what she does.0
-
I don't have a husband but my boyfriend loves me the way I am. He does like the bigger girls. I don't mind being thick BUT I must lose weight for my HEALTH. He completely understands.
When I first started he told me that I don't need to lose weight and I look beautiful the way I am. After starting to have some issues with my liver he just wants me to be healthy. Between that, it was so frustrating feeling so conflicted. I want to get into better shape but I want to keep him happy. I was letting myself slack because he loves me the way I am. I did not want that. It made me feel worse to just let the days pass without eating better or working out. I'm much happier now that I am doing what I want with MY body and trying to be healthier.
You know the saying "If mama isn't happy then no one is happy"? If you are miserable, he will be miserable and I'm sure both of you do not want that. Am I right?0 -
If you want to lose weight and don't do it, you'll regret it later.
He won't stop having sex with you, I promise.
Almost all of your post make me laugh!!!0 -
Its your body not his, I wouldn't give a rats a**. It better on you whole body to be in a healthy weight range.0
-
You need to do what is right for you. My wife is not thrilled with my weight loss either, but she has not stopped me. She has also not been supportive. Just something you have to accept. You can't expect your Husband to always be eye-to-eye with you on everything forever.0
-
Lose it anyway! You will be healthy and happy. Tell him a happy wife equals a happy life
I like this TY!0 -
Well, there's always the possibility that with losing weight and increasing your flexibility that sex could be better at a lower weight. Could you try and do some new things to make it the best of both worlds. I gather that some men prefer bigger bodies for better sex but as a woman I don't feel like I have the energy and enthusiasm for sex at a bigger size. Maybe by enticing him with some new frontiers he could be your biggest advocate instead of your biggest enabler.0
-
Your desire should be to make him happy. If he loves you the way you are, own that. Be healthy, but be how he likes it.
Do you know how many women cry at night who are heavy because their husbands put them down or cheat on them or mistreat them? Be grateful it's the other way around.
Or, see if you can meet in the middle. Instead of trying to lose 50, lose 20. He may just want something to hold onto.
If he is happy with what you got going on, and you lose and he is not, you could be asking for trouble...
I agree that our desire should be to make our spouse happy but they also should have a desire to make us happy. It's not just about pleasing your spouse at the expense of your own happiness. He should also love you enough to still love you whether you are fat, skinny, tall, short, etc. No person should HAVE to compromise their health and/or happiness in order to keep a mate. My husband LOVES big women. I told him I was going to get REALLY skinny. (I was actually kidding because I like being a little thick). Anyway, his response, 'I'll always love you... but I may start looking at plus sized woman sometimes". I was able to laugh at that because I know his love and desire for me won't change when I lose weight. I also know he doesn't expect me to be anything other than who I want to be because it makes me happy... and that makes him happy.
It should be the same with you and your husband.
Besides, if people start changing just to please their spouse where does it end? "Well honey, thanks for keeping the weight on. Now, can you dye your hair, get colored contacts, wear higher heels, tighter clothes, sexier undies" etc. I'm being a little extreme but marriage is about compromise from both parties - not just one.
Talk to your husband and find out if it is insecurity or something else. Then talk over the weight issue. I'm sure, in the end, he wants you around and that means being as healthy as you can be.
Finally, like other people said, he is a MAN. He will still want you! :-)0 -
Well, there's always the possibility that with losing weight and increasing your flexibility that sex could be better at a lower weight. Could you try and do some new things to make it the best of both worlds. I gather that some men prefer bigger bodies for better sex but as a woman I don't feel like I have the energy and enthusiasm for sex at a bigger size. Maybe by enticing him with some new frontiers he could be your biggest advocate instead of your biggest enabler.
Humm... Sugestions???0 -
My husband has seen me when I was thinner and now with the weight gain. He likes me bigger. However, I don't like myself at this weight. So I'm losing it. I don't care what he likes and especially when it is my health and body. He has been supportive since I have started losing weight. So to the OP, you have to do what makes you happy and healthy. If you aren't comfortable with your weight, lose it. If he really loves you, he will love you when you're thinner.0
-
If he really doesn't want you to be healthier, I think it's a sign of a bigger problem. I love my wife however she chooses to be, and will support her even if I do not agree with what she does.
Now THIS man is what a HUSBAND should be!!!!!!! :laugh:0 -
your husband needs to be supportive of your needs and desires0
-
Let me just say in my husbands defense he has never asked me not to lose weight nor has he tried to derail me in anyway. He has even offered to go to the gym with me and help strength train since I am so lost with that. BUT he constantly makes remarks about how he prefers me now opposed to 15 years ago.0
-
I am also 5'3. I'm smaller now then when I met my husband, and he prefers me smaller rather then bigger. He says the sex is better. I think the sex is a lot better as well.0
-
Just point out how flexible you will be once the fat is gone... that might help... :flowerforyou:0
-
He should want to support you being healthier. It will keep you alive longer..
:flowerforyou:0 -
I think that if you want to lose weight and be healthier you should do regardless of what your husband likes/thinks. It is your body and you should do what makes you happy.
I don't understand why he would not want you to lose weight. I think sex will still be great regardless of how much you weight (unless that is his fetish). You can always teach him to love your new body?
If my husband told me he didn't want me to lose weight, I would tell him that I respect his opinion but that I will do what I think is right for me.0 -
"If you want to lose weight and don't do it, you'll regret it later.
He won't stop having sex with you, I promise."
This is true. I totally agree.0 -
He'll get over it...0
-
My husband loves my curves! With that said, he also knows that I am at an unhealthy weight and if he wants me to be here for a while he knows that I am going to have loose some of this weight. Your husband will get over it and love your new and improved curves!
0 -
My husband prefers me at no less than 150 but is 100% supportive of whatever weight I'm comfortable with. He is buying healthy things at the store, made room for Shakeology in our budget even though we can't afford it, and even bought me the pedometer on his own. Just because he thought I would like it. :-)
He has noticed a huge difference in my overall health since starting this program and he would much rather have me happy...than the weight of his choosing. I would hope that other husbands would be supportive of their wives as well. It's okay if they have a preference for bigger women...as long as...in the end...they are supportive of your decision.0 -
My husband doesn't want me to lose much weight if any at all. He likes me how I am. But he knows I prefer to be a bit lighter and will be happier with that and accepts that. I'm doing it for me.0
-
My husband is a bigger man but has health issues that he uses for excuses not to exercise. He doesn't say he doesn't want me to lose weight but he does nothing to encourage it either. I try to explain to him that eating better and exercising will make him feel better too. He still makes excuses. For a long time I did nothing about my weight gain and health problems because I felt it didn't matter to him anyway but one day I just woke up and said "screw this". I have always been active and in good shape and I am doing this for me and if he doesn't like it then he is not the man I fell in love with and married. My life is important to me and I have learned that if I am going to be happy and look after myself then everyone else in my life will be happy too (if not too bad). I am worth taking care of and if I don't do it nobody else will.0
-
I have a similar problem. No husband but my bf says I am becoming to small and am right on his "boundary" before he starts finding me unattractive. I am no where near where I want to be but at the same time I don't want to become something he doesn't appreciate. He hates muscular girls and any hit of muscle will turn him off so he says. I was so excited about getting into shape but now I am so torn over what to do
Oh life. 0 -
insecurity!0
-
Screw yo husband!
lol0 -
My boyfriend got with me when I was only a little bit smaller then I am now.
He dont like skinny girls at all.
We came to a compromise.
I dont wanna be skinny and neither does he want me to be.
I do however wanna be healthy and feel better about myself so we came to an agreement on a "thick" weight. Lol.0 -
Its your body. Do what you want.0
-
Huh?I dont wanna be skinny and neither does he want me to be.
I do however wanna be skinny0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions