Scared to get pregnant?!

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  • steadk
    steadk Posts: 334 Member
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    I understand where you're coming from, and I wanted it to. However, it's a miracle to be able to carry and grow a life in you!!! You will be able to work off weight when baby is here. And also, nursing helps with weight. I had my first at a "not so healthy" weight. And I'm struggling to get it off now, but that's not keeping me from trying to have another.
  • RainAndPain
    RainAndPain Posts: 57
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    YES. It's why I don't want children of my own... I'd rather adopt. Gaining weight from pregnancy is a huge fear of mine.
  • Teapotdomescam
    Teapotdomescam Posts: 163
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    That is probably THE main reason I never want kids. People say it's worth it and everything, but it really depends on how you feel about children in general. If you simply love kids no question about it then I'm sure you're gonna love the changes. Don't worry about being selfish though! you do have a right to the way you feel about your own body. I feel ya girl. Left and right, everyone I see is getting pregnant but not one of them does anything to take care of their bodies. It seems that they maintain the same eating habits (sweets, pizza, chips...etc..) and not one of them works out or seems to have any knowledge of the toll it's taking on them. A woman there is due in September but she is already atleast 30 pounds heavier.

    Alright, sorry about the rant hahah. You'll know when it's time. ;) If there will ever be a time that is.
  • Jreneewright
    Jreneewright Posts: 87
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    not selfish at all! its understandable.. but even if your still "working" on you this doesnt have to stop because your prego.. the dr will tell you that what ever your body is use to before pregnancy will be fine for during your pregnancy.. i wouldnt restrict your calories sooo hard but you can still keep yourself healthy. and you can control the weight to an extent so it wont be so hard to loose it afterward.. :-) youll be fine!
  • quixoticmantis
    quixoticmantis Posts: 297 Member
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    Actually, weight gain and changes to my body are one of the MANY reasons I NEVER EVER want children. I'm not ashamed to admit it, nope.
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
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    Hi! I'm 11 weeks pregnant today. Before getting pregnant, I had lost 8 lbs, but since, I've gained it back (Status Quo I guess), but it's mostly fluid, slow digestion, bloating, etc., because somedays it goes back down a good five lbs or so.

    Yes, I was scared at first of gaining this weight. BUT seeing all those precious sonogram pictures and feeling 'different' feeling 'pregnant' has really made me not so worried about it. I know that once the baby comes, I won't even think about food. I'll be so engulfed with the baby. I'll breastfeed. This helps to lose all of the weight that's gained during pregnancy as long as you don't overdo it on food.

    I read that brest feeding alone burns 800 extra calories a day. Weight Watchers actually has a weight loss program for nursing moms.

    I know it's hard now because you are trying to lose weight, but you want to be pregnant, but in the long run, being pregnant and receiving this miracle of life is soooooo worth it!

    By the way.... everyone says "now you're eating for two" NO YOU'RE NOT.. In the first tri-mester, you are supposed to eat around 2000-2200 calories. Second trimester, increase by 300-400 calories, third trimester increase again by 300-500 calories. This keeps you and baby at a healthy weight.

    My clothes are tighter everywhere, but its such a great feeling to be pregnant!

    I wish you well!
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    No, it is normal. (at least it is for me!)
    I am 5 months now, and seeing the scale go up has been a huge mental battle. Seeing my belly grow has not been scary yet, only because I don't yet have the stretch marks that go with pregnancy. I know they will happen, 90% of women get them, and my mother, grandmother, and sister all did. It makes it a lot easier knowing my husband could care less. Stretch marks eventually fade and become less noticeable. Maybe my body will never look the same... I am slowly starting to accept that. I will put in hard work after the baby gets here, but yes, I am still scared of the changes that are happening.

    I DO know one thing though, it will all be worth it in the end, no matter how many stretch marks I get!

    Edit to say one more thing: Every single pregnancy is extremely different. I also lost weight during my first trimester as some have mentioned here (Morning sickness is evil.).. But as much as I would like to say I have continued working out, I really haven't. I am still sick 5 months in and honestly have never felt worse in my life. I TRY to go for even just walks, but the nausea is just so awful. There was a two day period where I felt great and did some intense working out, but yeah... that's about it so far. So although you should try your hardest to plan on working out when pregnant, you won't have control over how you feel. When you have good days though, take full advantage of them!!!!!!!!
  • kimi233
    kimi233 Posts: 271 Member
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    It is a normal feeling to be scared, because to be brutally honest, you will NEVER have the same body that you did before babies. Yes it is possible to get back into shape and get toned once you have kids, but its not the same... but that being said, it is worth every stretch mark, every pound you will have to loose, every other thing that I won't get into detail that will happen to your body, it is way more worth it to have that precious little baby. I just had my fourth, and I went from being on here and being in the best shape of my life, to gaining the most ever with a pregnancy, and I swear I'd do it all over again. It is more difficult with this being my fourth for the weight to come off, but I will get there, if you have the will power to get back in shape after baby, you will do it. And if you have a healthy and safe pregnancy you can work out the entire time (given doctor's says its ok) And the weight will come off even faster. For me, I was very sick for the first 3 to 4 months and just gave up on exercise... but I didn't worry about it, I knew what it would take to get my body back and I'm on that right road. If you are really committed to a healthy lifestyle and not a diet, you have nothing to worry about, you'll loose that weight in no time after the baby. And with my other three babies I went home from the hospital in my per-pregnancy clothes... they didn't fit the same, but I was still in that same weight, so as long as you don't "eat for two" and go crazy, you will be fine! There's nothing else in this world that is more magical than being pregnant and having that bond with your sweet baby. Best of luck to you in your decision.
  • _ADecadeUnderTheInfluence
    _ADecadeUnderTheInfluence Posts: 17
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    AGREE! so freaking scared. too selfish for children, to end my life and live mine for theirs.
  • Hopelessbird
    Hopelessbird Posts: 133
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    My doctor told me if I want to get pregnant next year, lose 30-40lb now and stay close to normal BMI as possible. Try to only gain 20-25lb so that I do not develop gestational diabetes. I have a family history of Type 1 diabetes. To fight off diabetes after pregnancy, my doctor also recommend continue exercising most days of the week.

    I did buy a 2 seater car as defiance against baby expectations when I turned 30... but I love my husband. He really wants to become a father. After 12 years of togetherness, I will try to give him one child.

    The fact that a baby will cut into my personal life and free time is a bigger issue. I love my DINK lifestyle.
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
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    i recently had a baby (6 months ago). I went into the pregnancy being about 20-25lbs over my comfortable weight range. I initially wanted to lose the weight before getting preggers, butttt things don't always turn out that way lol. I gained a lot of weight during the 9 months. I lost 25 lbs the first two weeks (retained a crap load of water), and lost another 25 over the past few months breastfeeding and not overeating.

    It sucked to gained the weight that i did, but it is definitely coming off, and I am seeing my body come back to how it used to be. So don't be scared! I mean, it's only weight....not like I can't lose it ;)

    my daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. They bring you the greatest joy in your life. You could have the crappiest day of your life, and your child could smile at you and you instantly feel better. :)
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    In the same boat. Want another baby, don't want to gain the weight that I worked really hard to lose. I am finally back down to my pre pregnancy weight and even though I think I can make better choices this time the idea of regaining is so scary that I have been putting off having another one.
  • SamanthaTheSpartan
    SamanthaTheSpartan Posts: 32
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    I assure you, once you have your baby, NONE of it matters. You body will never be the same, but you will learn to love it. And getting back in shape all depends on your determination.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Did you see Twilight? Babies do horrible things to your body!
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    eat right and do LOTS of walking and you should be fine
  • jb852013
    jb852013 Posts: 116
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    I would actually perfer to get pregnant because I lose weight when I am pregnant. Being overweight and having to go on a diabetic diet while pregnant actually helps me to lose the weight. I was probably a size 12 before becoming pregnant with my son and once I had him I was a size 6. I also love that when I am pregnant I no longer look fat! I look cute and pregnant instead. :) I think that if you eat right and excersize (according to your doctor) while pregnant you will be happy with your weight once you have a baby. You may have some stretch marks or saggy skin after, however that is a small price to pay for such a precious gift from God. :)
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I'm terrified to get pregnant, yes. That has lessened since my husband's vasectomy. But I still have nightmares about it from time to time...
  • sninny
    sninny Posts: 132 Member
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    Great question! I'm anxious to hear from mothers. Some people have told me that if you gain a respectable amount of weight that you'll leave the hospital with only 5-7 lbs left to go...

    I gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy and somehow I left the hospital only 2 pounds lighter! My baby was almost 6 pounds, plus all the fluids and stuff that comes out, so I have no idea how that worked out. Just doesn't add up... I lost 10 pounds within a week or two but the next 20 pounds were a challenge. I can now say that I've successfully lost all my baby weight plus a few pounds. The idea of gaining weight is scary but the reward of a sweet baby makes it all worth it. Just do your best to eat healthy and exercise during pregnancy and get back to your routine as soon as you can afterward and you'll be just fine. :smile:
  • slightner
    slightner Posts: 61 Member
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    Use Bio Oil for the stretch mark fear. My friend just had TWINS and not a stretch mark to be found and it even helped take away old ones from previous pregnancies!

    As to weight, eating healthy and exercise are good for you and the baby. I was overweight and had lost 35 pounds before getting pregnant with my first. I had lost all but 6 pounds of the 34 I gained when I got pregnant again 9 months later. After my 2nd, I lost all from the first and second plus 15 pounds. Unfortunately I have put it all back and plus. But Im working on it again to be healthy for my little men. They were worth it! Your body may change, mine did, my hips are a little wider (my 2nd weighed over 10 pounds!) and my boobs definitely will not recover, but hey thats what boob jobs are for, right?

    In the end, you can have kids and grandkids to enrich and bring joy to your life or you can regret not doing it just to be thin. (not saying that those who choose not to have kids cant have a good life! just trying to say that they are worth the extra work to get the weight back off and possibility of a different body IF you want them!!)

    Good luck!
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
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    I have a different perspective on this, maybe someone will find it helpful.

    I was 38 when I got pregnant and I was very overweight (5'2" and weighed about 250). I lost weight the first few months of my pregnancy because I had finally started eating properly. My doctor was very pleased. Over my pregnancy, I only added about 17 lbs over my starting weight because I had made such positive changes in my diet. BUT... being 5'3", 260+ lbs and pregnant led to some health problems during the pregnancy and there were several scary days when I didn't know if she was going to be ok or not. She did fine, but we did an emergency c-section a couple of weeks before my due date because my blood pressure was sky high (200/100) and wouldn't come back under control.

    So if your question is "should I get into shape before getting pregnant" or wait til after - I'd vote "now". Strengthening your heart, improving your circulation, keeping hydrated, etc. will do you and your future child a lot of good. Best wishes!

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